Hobo's and halloween

 Halloween 2017. A lot has changed about Halloween since I was a little spook. By spook I mean ghost, spirit, specter, phantom, apparition or nebulous image, just to be clear. I hear this year there is a problem with cultural appropriation ! Imagine if you will, little children dressing up and portraying a person they are not. Now that's pretty insensitive. When I was young hobo's were the go to costume for families on a budget. Well, we weren't told we were on a budget, we were told we couldn't afford that stuff. I was told anyone can go to the store and buy a costume but it was better to make your own. Making your face look dirty with a burned piece of cork, wearing dirty torn clothing and having a stick with a handkerchief tied to the end, you were all set ! Fortunately I never ran into any real hobo's and offended them. OMG , how insensitive of me to mock them like that. I expect the pirates were just as upset. Cultural appropriation ? How is it possible that any of us have avoided the wrath of witches ?  There are covens of them all over the country. Wicca or witches ? Same thing to me but I'm just an insensitive brute. And just why are there cats black ? Seems racially insensitive to me. The two are inexplicably linked however, and have been for centuries. Well, my trick or treating days are done, the grandchildren are done with it, and I'm just closing the door and turning out the light. I wouldn't want to be triggered by some culturally insensitive five year old !
 I can see the days of going door to door becoming a thing of the past. It is getting to be just a bit dangerous. You can't trust the candy, you can't trust the people and you can't trust ! If we start removing or restricting costumes that is going to really dampen the spirit of the holiday. Spirit of the holiday, get it ? I've heard that ghosts are insensitive because they are always white ? Other ethnic groups are feeling excluded. Hey, Casper, remember him, got bullied for being just a bit too friendly. Don't hear much about him anymore do you ? No and that's because he is being oppressed. Those ghosts do need to be more inclusive. Can't dress like an Indian unless you really are an Indian. Even then you better make sure you identify yourself as an Indigenous American so as not to upset anyone from Indian who are the real Indians. Of course they might be the indigenous folks to their region of the world and therefore not merely Indians, but Indigenous Indians. Maybe we should all just call ourselves indigenous to the earth and avoid all this labeling and confusion in the first place. Indigenous Earthlings ! Sounds about right to me, especially if you live in California but that's another blog.
 I do wish the kids , the little ones anyway, a happy Halloween. I always enjoyed that time and hoarded what candy I collected for quite a while. There was little to be concerned with. When I was little people didn't try to poison, drug or injure little children as a form of entertainment. Yes, I know it happened but rarely. Yes it was a different place and time, a time that will never be again. The kids today will form their own memories of this trick or treating tradition and bemoan the loss of it when they have children and grandchildren, same as me. Can you believe how insensitive and barbaric we were ? Man the 1950's and early 60's were emotionally turbulent times. Bullies and cultural appropriation were rampant ! We would just dress up as anyone without a second thought. I'm sorry hobo's. Even that is insensitive.
 I'll take this forum to officially apologize to those homeless folks I so callously made fun of. That was insensitive and I obviously lacked empathy. Instead of mocking you, indeed exploiting your image to gain candy for myself, I should have asked for good wholesome food to redistribute to you. I should have offered you housing and medical attention. I'm so ashamed. And Superman, I really wasn't fighting for truth, justice and the American way, I just wanted candy for myself. From now on when faced with inequity or injustice  I will " take a knee "  as a symbol of solidarity. Just what was I thinking ? 

In a mood

 It's a rainy and cold Monday in Greensboro. The weather is reflective of my mood. There is no need for explanations, like the weather it just is. Like the weather you really can't control it either. These moods come and go. I'm certainly not overly concerned or in need of anything. I'm thinking that may be part of the issues we face today, we are always trying to fix everything. Take a pill, see a therapist, go buy something. I say there are times when you just need to experience life, good and bad. It is what it is.
 Empathy and sympathy are being confused all the time. If I don't agree that you are experiencing something terrible and immediately try to do something proactive to relieve your suffering, I lack empathy. I can be sympathetic but that doesn't mean I have to do anything. You know why ? Sometimes we cause our own misfortunes and sometimes we are the only ones than correct that. It is the same vein as blaming the drug for our addictions. Might as well blame the knife because you got cut. But, like I said , that's the mood I woke up in. Stormy Monday !
 Mueller is set to release indictments for Russian collusion in the election. I'm just so sick and tired of that waste of time and money. I voted and no Russian told me who to vote for ! No Russian changed my ballot in the ballot box. Oh, I was influenced ! Well isn't that the purpose of a campaign ? To influence who you vote for ? Fact is, Bernie tried to influence me, Hillary tried to influence me, Trump tried, and how many others ? I can't even remember how many tried. Where any of them Russians ? I don't know but Bernie says he is a socialist, close enough for me. I didn't vote for Bernie. I didn't vote for Hillary and I didn't vote for Trump. None of those candidate were successful in influencing my decision in their favor. I lost the election. I hope to live long enough to vote again.
 If we are now going to say it is a crime to influence people we had better outlaw advertising ! Ore Ida influenced me to buy their tater tots and they were awful ! I had better investigate that and see if there was any collusion. Listen if you are deciding upon your candidate based on Facebook ads and memes the problem isn't the Russians, it's you ! Anyway, that's about all I have for this morning. This too shall pass. I'll find something constructive to do and that'll improve my mood. Have a great day.
   

progress by surrender ?

 We often speak of progress. We are making progress, always going some where. It is what we are told we should be doing, all the time. Well, I don't see what is wrong with knowing where you are and liking that. It isn't a matter of knowing it all, it is a matter of having made a decision. I believe you do have to decide and accept that. Changing your mind every time something new is offered is not going to make you settled ! No, then all that happens is you continue to wander, aimlessly searching for something. Well the truth is you are not searching for anything at all, you are waiting for someone else to show you. Then having been shown you " buy " that for a little while. Having something new is better than the old, right ? Isn't that what we are being told all the time ? Yes, and the ones telling us, are the ones that are selling. It makes little difference if it is a product, service or idea. The point is to get folks to " buy " it. Truth is, there is just a lot of junk being sold out there in the name of progress. Just how far are we supposed to go ? That is the question to be answered.
 I don't see all of this as necessarily going anywhere, more like running away at times is my thinking. When the conversation becomes uncomfortable, the yelling starts. When we just surrender to avoid that confrontation is that progress ? That is what I see being sold today. Rather than standing by the truths we have learned we discard them in favor of convenience. Sure is easier and a whole lot more popular to just go with the crowd. Popularity and principle seldom make for good bedfellows. Mark Twain summed that up nicely when he wrote, " whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect. " A few examples of this may be, buying a pet rock, reading fifty shades of grey and thinking that Jackson Pollock was really painting pictures. There sure where a lot of people convinced of those things, spent tons of money of them. Many still remain convinced of those Pollock paintings. I will tell you they are just paint drippings and he ain't the only one that cashed in on that nonsense. I don't blame him, I blame popular opinion, in the vein of the emperors new clothes.
 Another old adage I am fond of, and refer to often says, a fool and his money soon part company. If you base your principles upon popular opinion you will never be settled. How can you be ? Seems pretty obvious to me but a lot of folks seemed confused by that. That is why all this reinterpretation of truths. Thing is, the truth is always the truth. Truth doesn't change over time. I believe I have learned some truths over time. I will not surrender them based on popular opinion. Yup, sometimes that makes me unpopular. Well, my goal is not to be the most popular person on the planet. I just try to be as good a friend to everyone as I can manage. I admit it is easier with some than others. I don't believe you can buy or tithe your way to happiness. Isn't that what we all seek, happiness ? We just want to be happy and content in our lives. You are not going to get there by following the crowd. It's true you might find a party but sooner or later the party ends. After the party is over, what are you left with ? Popularity depends upon the crowd.
 Progress isn't getting the next new thing, it isn't discarding the old. Want to make progress ? Make a decision, make a choice, and then stand by that. That's progress. Progress isn't surrendering to popularity, fad and fashion. Yes it is cliché, but the truth is happiness comes from within. The world around us can become a distraction. The " barkers " are out there, tempting us daily. Buy this, buy that, it's much better, it's progress, don't be old fashioned, loosen up. Well there is nothing wrong with just saying, no thanks.
 Your happiness shouldn't be dependent upon another persons approval. That is the hardest lesson of all. We all seek approval, validation for our existence. It sure feels good when others commend us and bolster our confidence. I like that as much as anyone. Thing is, you get addicted. You become dependent. At that point you make any and all excuses for your behavior. Any challenges to that will be met with resistance. In the end you just run away. The only way progress can be made is by standing your ground ! 

Don't be mean

 The Texans owner had to apologize for saying, " we can't have the inmates running the prison " in reference to his team. Somehow that was racist and the players were deeply offended. All I could do was shrug my shoulders and shake my head. Those little phrases that we use, called idioms, come in many flavors that I won't deny, but that one is just making a statement of the obvious. Just how it could be construed as racist is beyond me. Someone of every color and nationality has been in prison at some point. Could it be that some of those people took it personally because they had been in prison themselves ? I don't know who the players are and really could care less. It just struck me as ridiculous that the players were threatening a walkout. Is everything a crisis these days ! If that is the case we might as well all just give up, head for the safe spaces and scream at the sky ! Can I still say it's raining cats and dogs ? Isn't that animal cruelty ? How insensitive a statement, and what about the other animals, don't they deserve recognition ?
 I suppose it is all because I haven't had sensitivity training. I know, I know, it was never provided to me by any employer. I was expected to exercise common sense and good judgement. When I slipped up and said something insensitive I was informed of that ; by the one I offended ! I don't recall a massive threat to walk off the job, or anyone being traumatized. The only trauma I recall was a punch in the nose. I remembered after that to not use that particular expression or idiom when talking to that individual. Truth is, I already knew what would upset them, trigger we say nowadays, and that is why I said it. I assumed the consequences of that choice, sometimes regretting the choice. Well, I never was one to keep secrets, I usually let the cat out of the bag. Uh oh, why was that cat in the bag ? Don't alert the SPCA it is only an expression. And when I offer you a penny for your thoughts it isn't meant as a solicitation. I won't really give you a penny. Don't sue me.
 Oh my, what about when the pot calls the kettle black ? Is that alright ? Guess that would depend upon whether the pot was aluminum and the kettle cast iron. In that situation one might be offended. That's the problem with these literal translations of idioms. You do have to have common sense to understand what is being said. And common sense is getting to be a rare commodity. When you live in a litigious society , where folks are unreasonably prone to go to law to settle disputes, you must speak in that fashion. You have to be clear, concise and specific. No thinking about it, say exactly what it is you want to say.
 The lawyers will argue about what that means. That's why they are arguing today about exactly what the Constitution and Bill or Rights say. A statement like, " the right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed," isn't clear enough. No, we must list and categorize every instance of that. First we have to determine what is meant by the word right. Let the discussion begin. Who has that right, what is that right, is that right the same right as the right that was right ten years ago  ? Are arms guns ? It doesn't say they are guns, it says arms. It is all so ridiculous.
 Are those idioms an illegal expression of thought ? We are litigating what you may or may not think these days. We are litigating whether something you say is hateful, and it's a crime ! Never mind the first amendment, that isn't what free speech means. You can't say something to hurt someone's feelings ! We can't have the inmates running the prison ! OMG, how insensitive, racist, and hurtful can you be. The inmates have rights you know ! Yes, we should make the " inmates " as comfortable as possible and provide a nurturing environment. Don't be mean ! 

Mary's

 As kids we all had the corner store. Okay, I guess that is a generalization and isn't completely true. I'm sure there are some that didn't have that growing up. But setting aside all the possibilities I can say that I had the corner store when I was a kid. It was owned by a lady known to us as Mary. A kind and generous lady that was friend to everyone. I would go to that little store and buy penny candy, bread, milk and the like. Mary even sold us kids Dads' cigarettes and beer. Put those items in a brown paper sack with orders to take that stuff straight home and don't let anyone see you ! I always did ! Mary was like Mom in a way. She really cared about you but don't cross her. Yesterday I saw a picture where that store had been torn down ! It was more than a store, it was her house as well. Yes, like in the movies the store was attached to the house. Step out of the kitchen and you are in the store. It sure was a sad sight to see that excavator with the debris bucket on it sitting next to an empty lot.
 I can't say how long that store was there. It was there in 1953 I'm sure of that. Knowing that it is gone made a hundred memories come flooding back. Like film shorts in my mind they began to replay. I can see that canister of pretzels rods on the end of the counter, 2 cents each. I see all that candy in the display case, Mary Janes, gum balls, sugar babies, Hershey bars, sugar daddies, wax lips, Zagnuts, Sky bars, candy cigarettes, jaw breakers, pixie sticks, root beer barrels and horehounds, just to name a few. The bread was on a rack by the door, the cooler in the back of the store. Open a little door under that cooler and that is where the beer was kept. To the right of the cooler was a door leading to the basement where a large cooler was keeping the refrigerated products cool. A big walk in thing I was only down there on one occasion. Joe, that was Mary's husband, spent a lot of time down there. He would come up the stairs wearing a large brown overcoat, even in summer. A little bit scary to a kid. You didn't want to go down there. But now I see all that is gone. The building torn down.
 I suppose it is progress. That is what I thought when I first saw that picture. Of course I was immediately struck by a sense of nostalgia. A lot of memories were contained in that little building. I'm certain it isn't just me. I'll tell my sister and brother about that the next time we talk. Mary's was a landmark, a part of the landscape. One of those places that you could say, " you know where Mary's is " and the person would say, yes. Sitting on the corner of Soak Hide and the Three Mile Harbor road it was a fixture. I hear they plan on building a new store. I'm certain it will be nice, very modern and all that. I understand you can't hold onto to those old buildings forever. That home/store was surely inefficient and deemed a little unsightly to these new generations. And so, it has been erased ! That is the word that comes to mind for me. The store and Mary's home have been erased from the landscape. Neither one will be erased from my memory though. How long will the memory of that store last in the minds of people today ? Well, a generation is considered to be about twenty years. The last generation has seen that building. It has been photographed and archived that piece of history. It survived long enough to return to being " just a building . " For surely the family that owns it, and I think it is the same family, has arrived at that conclusion. Now, it is just a memory.
 It occurred to me that the store did lose its' sentimental attachment. That is why it was torn down, it became once again, just a building. Old homes, old buildings do have a life of their own. They hold the memories of those that lived or worked there. The life was gone from Mary's store, a relic of the past to be swept aside. Erased from the landscape. There will be something new built on that horizon. Will it survive long enough to become, just another building ? I'd say it depends upon how long it stays loved. Mary's had a great run.   

screaming !

 Well that 17 year old illegal alien got her abortion. Yes, she demanded her " right " to have an abortion and the United States courts agreed. Just what has happened here ? In the first place she enters the country illegally. She is taken into custody. " Discovering " that she is pregnant she demands an abortion. That procedure , if that is what you wish to label murder, is not allowed in her home country. After several court appearances, judgements and appeals costing the taxpayers I don't know how much money, it is granted. Guess who paid for that ? Guess who will be paying for aftercare ? Guess who will be paying for everything ? You guessed it, the taxpayers ! All of that and we can't even know her name, she is just Jane doe ! Well, she's a minor and needs protection. Should have used protection and she wouldn't have found herself in that situation , but let's not hold anyone accountable and have them assume responsibility. Just kill the child.
 Where are her parents ? Who gets to make that decision in the first place ? Oh, it's alright Planned Parenthood provided her with a counselor. I'm pretty sure that bunch tried to talk her out of it. Look the way I see it, this girl gets pregnant, runs away from home and gets exactly what she wants. How many do-gooders are going to now provide this girl with housing, food, clothing, education and health care ? You tell me she won't be fawned over as some sort of social hero. How brave was she ?
 The door is now open. Have an unwanted pregnancy ? Is it illegal in your country ? Want free health care, including an abortion on demand ? Hey, just cross the border into America and you will be taken care of. The precedent has been set. The message to the rest of the world is clear enough. The United States are a bunch of saps ! No need to be a citizen of that country to enjoy all the legal protections of a citizen. Don't be concerned with that, just walk right in and start demanding things. You'll get it. even if it takes a team of lawyers. Don't worry, that country will also provide the lawyers ! Sweet set up isn't it ?
 I'm all for immigration, done legally. I'm opposed to abortion but recognize that it is a legal choice at the present time.  Should you enter my country illegally you will be taken into custody. I agree that basic human needs should be provided. Shelter, clothing and food. If you have a medical emergency that will be addressed. Is being pregnant a medical emergency ? I don't believe it is. I do think any prenatal care that is required should be provided. Yes, I believe in the preservation of life. Do I believe an illegal alien has all the rights of a legal citizen ? No, they do not. I fail to understand this argument that she has a " right " to demand an abortion because it is " time sensitive. " We have to hurry up to avoid any late term complications. From my viewpoint it's always " late " when you kill that child. So now this person is in my country illegally and being provided health care at taxpayers expense. She gets to stay for aftercare too. Looks to me like another path just opened up.  We were using " anchor babies " to gain admittance, now we don't need to have the baby.  Is this " anchor abortions " now. Sure looks that way to me.
 You know on November the eight the liberal faction in this country plan to hold an event. Yes, they will " scream helplessly at the sky " that's the event. It is to celebrate the anniversary of Trumps winning the presidency. Of course they don't think of it as a celebration but what else could you call it ? I will go out in public, throw my head back and scream at the sky ! Maybe they should include wearing their pink hats and hold fidget spinners ! All of this stuff, abortion on demand from illegal aliens makes me want to scream too ! But I won't scream helplessly into the sky, I'll just do my screaming at the polls.    

grab and go

Greensboro like a lot of small towns these days has a shortage of businesses. We have had several  restaurants. Sadly they just can't seem to make it. I'm certain a lot of that has to do with codes, permits and the health department regulations. I hear another attempt is going to be made and I wish them nothing but luck. I admit I am not one to eat out often and so offer little in the way of financial support. Still, if it is available I will go out to breakfast or lunch on occasion. I don't know much about the plans for this latest endeavor but have my own ideas. I am thinking of the lunch places I had growing up. My favorite was a place called Speeds. That was because a man called Speed owned it. I doubt that was his real name, monikers were applied freely back in those days. They may be favorable, or shall we say, descriptive. Speed King also drove the ambulance is what I was told. The name seemed to fit and Speed also made French fries pretty quick ! For at least two years that is what I ate for lunch. A plate of fries and a coke, cost a dollar. I walked down from the high school along with everyone else.
 Now Speeds was really nothing more than a lunch counter. You had that long counter with stools. On one end was the grill and the opposite had the soda fountain. The same layout was at another place called the Marmador and still another called Greens. George Greens was below the bridge and a little too far for the high school lunch crowd. Speeds and the Marmador enjoyed all that business. The Marmador was for a certain crowd " the in crowd " and speeds for everyone else. Funny I don't remember ever eating at the Marmador, I was loyal to Speeds' when I was uptown and went to Greens when I wasn't. It is that style of restaurant I believe would make it here. All that is needed is a grill, a toaster and a coffee maker ! With those things in place you are ready to go. No need for a chef, no you want a short order cook. For those of you old enough to remember, I'm thinkin about Mel from Mel's diner. A white apron wrapped around his midsection and a hat. Mel wore a Navy " Dixie " cup. If it could be made on the grill, it was available. Oh yeah, you do need that deep fat fryer.
 I don't know much about the requirements these days and so I'm not certain it is even possible. The grill was right there behind the counter. You could watch your breakfast or lunch being prepared right before your eyes. The cook also waited on you. Well, unless it was the lunch crowd then he had help. Maybe these days that grill has to be in a separate room altogether. The drinks were all fountain style. Cherry coke was a treat ! The sink and dish washing was also right there behind the counter. That probably wouldn't fly today. The health people being concerned about detergents and food getting mixed up. LOl, the government does have to protect us from our own stupidity I guess. At least that is the reason for all these agencies and inspections. Funny I never heard of anyone getting sick from any of that.
 Speeds and the others all opened early in the morning. The guys would all gather in those places before going off to work. Most of them were tradesman. Carpenters, plumbers, and the like. They got their morning coffee, maybe have a toasted corn muffin or toast and talk over the days work. They worked in or around town and so didn't have much of a commute. That wouldn't be the case here in Greensboro though, most folks have a little bit of a drive to get to work. Now, it is a quick stop at Dunkin' Donuts or wherever. No morning team building going on. That could be why there are so many problems in the workplace these days. A bunch of strangers working together.
 After the morning rush it was time to get ready for lunch. I know speeds started cooking fries and would have a good amount ready as soon as the lunch bell rang. They were always hot and ready. He had those heat lamps going full blast. The kids with a bit more funds than myself would order cheeseburgers, hot dogs or grilled cheese sandwiches. Those were the staples. I couldn't say for sure how late Speeds stayed open as I wasn't uptown much after five o'clock, except maybe on the weekend. I do know that Greens closed about six. Greens wasn't a place to go to dinner ! Nope, it would be open about 5 in the morning and he needed his rest.
 I guess I just described the 1960's in small town America. A regular Norman Rockwell existence. I would like to see that return. The problem being getting people to stop long enough to enjoy that. Everyone is in such a hurry to get somewhere these days. Grab and go is the plan these days. Well with that we have become so concerned with grabbing a buck, we let America go. At least the America I remember from my childhood. I'm thinking America needs more lunch counters. And not for the nostalgia but for the social aspects of that. We weren't thinking about any of that in 1965, it was just the way it worked. Worked pretty darn good too.  

the dream

  It must have been a great idea. Just look at how many followed. We figured we had so much room and resources it would support everyone. All it took was the will to work. Isn't that the original thought ? There was land just for the taking, plenty of wild game to eat and good soil. What more could people need ? And so they came, those first settlers. What was the motivation ? We are told it was religious freedom that they sought. I think that is probably more of a romantic notion than fact. The promise was land, freedom from government intervention, and the promise of a new and better life. Basically the same reason we leave home when we grow up. It is that freedom we seek. But now I wonder if too many have followed. Do we still have room for more ? They are still coming that much is certain. Who are they ? The simple answer is, people seeking freedom from whatever situation they find themselves presently in. That's always the reason isn't it ? The question is do we have enough work for all these people ? Without work what are they to do ? The issue really is, for whom are these people going to work ? The original plan was to work for yourself ! It was that " independence " and " self sufficiency " that was the draw a couple hundred years ago. What draws the crowd today ? What is the motivation ?
 Oh, I know the narrative all too well. We Americans have been bragging about it for a couple centuries now. The land of milk and honey. Human rights, liberty, freedom, all those things readily available to all. All you have to do is work hard and success can be yours. It was when we started to get our labor from other sources that things started to go wrong. At first we had indentured servants. True they were paid and only bound for a set amount of time but they were cheap labor. My third great grandfather was an indentured servant, I have a portion of that contract preserved. He was indentured to a cobbler, for seven years. He was paid twenty five dollars a year, room and board. He couldn't just walk away from that he was bound by a legal document enforceable in a court of law. Then we started in with the slaves. We just bought them outright ! Following the abolishment of that institution we began taking advantage of immigrants. That is still pretty much continuing to this day.
 Do you see how we strayed from the original plan ? We, meaning ourselves, were the one that was ere supposed to do the work ! If we could afford to have others doing the work for us, we wouldn't have left in the first place. We came to America to enrich ourselves. Yes, it was the wealthy that financed that dream. They were basically hiring you to do the work for them. They didn't live in a cabin in the wilderness facing danger every day. No, they paid you to do that, all the while convincing you how great a deal you got. It worked for a while, until those of us here gained enough wealth and power to oppose our " masters. " Then we staged a revolution. No more paying taxes or answering to those folks. Now we pay taxes and answer to the government once again. We are being told, we are the government. And just who are we working for ? The government. That's a startling revelation isn't it.
 Is it even possible to work for yourself anymore ? Only as far as the gaining of money goes. Yes we can earn money. Can we live independent of that commodity ? The answer is certainly a resounding no. There are just too many goods and services that we require. Is that where the wheels fall off ? It looks that way to me. Even if I chose to live " off the grid " as they say these days I cannot live completely free. I have to pay some fees or taxes. I can't just take my ax and my ambition and head into the wilderness. I'm going to need some cash. The problem today is we have a far larger workforce than jobs. The attraction to America has become what ? Is it finding work or is it finding assistance ? I mean isn't it well known that even if you can't find work in America you will receive basic assistance ?
 Now I'm not saying all immigrants are coming here for a free ride. I am saying that may be acting as a safety net however. If I know in advance that I won't be left to starve I will venture into the wilderness more readily. I'm thinking it is like those " survival " shows on television. Will they really allow you to die ? No, so I'll give it a shot. If I come to America will I be allowed to starve ? Will I be refused assistance ? It doesn't even matter if I am here illegally, I will be taken care of. I'm not saying they are unwilling to work just that safety net exists. Is there enough work ? No, I'm thinking there isn't enough work for us all.
 In the beginning there was room and work enough for everyone. Everyone had to work to survive. Yes there were those that had more than others, that is always going to be the case. Even if we use the model of " socialism " there are those with more than others. Even the hippie communes of the sixties had leaders, and those leaders enjoyed benefits not offered to others. So what to do ? Wish I had an answer to all of that. I do think we need more people relying upon themselves than relying upon the government ! How can that be accomplished ? I really don't know. Maybe it's impossible. I'm thinking we have brought in so much cheap labor that we sacrificed the dream. If you want to chase a dream that is something you have to do yourself ! You can't hire someone to do the work for you. You can't buy the dream with other peoples money. Or is it that the American dream has changed in a fundamental way. Is the dream to have money ? 

over an autumn fire

 Last evening my grandson built a fire in his backyard. It is something he and I both enjoy. We are just burning leaves, sticks and branches. Whatever we can find is alright. Building a fire pit has been on the to do list for years and has never been done. Right now we are using an old galvanized wash tub. I tell him to not breathe the smoke because it probably has zinc in it. Well, truth is it probably isn't very healthy but I love that smell. There is just something about old leaves and branches. We had a good fire going and pulled up the lawn chairs. The grandson made himself a few smores and we settled down to talk.
 Mark is sixteen now and it's hard to believe at times. Grandkids seem to grow at an accelerated rate. Einstein should have worked on that theory of relativity. The relatives being grandchildren and grandparents. But we had a nice discussion. It's an amazing thing. Some time was spent discussing the case of that illegal alien girl that wants an abortion. In case you aren't aware, this girl entered the country illegally, is pregnant and got arrested. She is being detained awaiting the disposition of her case. Thing is she is demanding an abortion. The court has blocked that, for now. Our discussion centered around whether this girl has a " right " to that abortion. I took the position that she does not as she is in the country illegally. Mark says she has a right, by law, to that abortion. He takes that position even though he opposes the whole abortion issue. He made good and valid points and I attempted to counter each one. It was an exchange of ideas and no one won or lost the debate.
 Following that discussion we moved on to another hot topic, race relations. Mark expressed his feelings about what needs to be done to improve those relations. We were in agreement on the majority of points. I was proud to hear his thoughts and it reassured me, there is hope. Yes in my eyes Mark is exceptional, aren't all grandkids, but I'm equally as certain a number of his friends share his views. It's true that Mark doesn't travel in a big circle of friends, but the ones he does have substance to them. I find that encouraging and hope it continues. Then we just sat silently for a while and contemplated things. I didn't stay a very long time, maybe two hours total. I must say they were hours well spent.
 Marks' mom, Maria, has often remarked that Mark has a old soul. I agree with her on that. There are times when he will say something that only an older, more experienced soul would know. It's hard to explain,  but you know what I mean ? I wonder if some of that comes from the time he spent with his grandparents in the first few years. Grandma watched him every day while Mom and Dad and Grandpa went to work. He never went to a daycare, ever. Grandma walked him to pre-school and put him on the school bus right up to high school. We even had his bus stop changed to be closer to our house. We did the same for his sister, although I don't believe her soul is quite as aged. I have no explanation for that. It's quite the mystery really this how and why we develop the way we do. I don't want to say they are on different levels because that implies one level is better than another and I don't believe that. Just because something is different doesn't make it better or worse, just different. The challenge is understanding the differences and they way they relate to ourselves. Grandpa enjoys his " quality " time with his granddaughter equally as much. Morgan is not as concerned with social issues as her brother. She does have a kind and gentle soul. In many ways like her brother, but different. That I have been blessed with the pair of them is without question. I figure I did something right.
 Last night we lit a fire, a sign of the fall. It is symbolic of the cold weather to come. It's like another tick of the clock, time advancing. I sat looking into those flames last night and got lost in my thoughts. Mark and I had settled the major issues of the world and we were both contemplating that. There was no winner or loser. No, we sat on level ground, as equals.  I heard some of me in his thoughts and I'm pleased. That's the truth of it. I think the best we can hope for is that our children and grandchildren carry a piece of ourselves forward. I pray the piece they carry forward doesn't become baggage ! Baggage is often left behind. Maybe that old soul we speak of is baggage that was left at the station.  It could be Mark reclaimed what he lost in a previous life. Is that why the old soul ?
 

Let me explain

 I started writing that book I always talk about. Well, truth is I started a while ago but have begun to write the words down. I found a book writing program on the Internet that is free to use that seems sufficient. This website will publish your book, for a fee of course. They do offer a great range of services depending on how much you wish to invest. I'm hoping to one day have them print a few copies. I would like a hard cover version, I'm thinking six by nine inches. But I have plenty of time to think about all of that. First I had best write the book.
  I began to write whatever came to mind. I know you're supposed to have an outline and be organized. I'm not sure what I'm writing about or where it is I wish to go with this book so an outline is impossible. I keep telling myself , don't constrain your thoughts to an outline. I'm a rebel writer, not a rebel rouser ! It's as good an excuse as any. I do want to write my book, my way. I balk at the thought of an editor. I don't want my thoughts edited by anyone else. In my thinking that would be fine if I intended to market this book, for a profit. That's not the reason I'm writing it though, I'm writing it because I feel a need to do so.
 I haven't gotten far. I did compose an introduction and an explanation. Those two sections have already been written and rewritten numerous times. I'm certain they are not in their finished form yet. I'm wondering just how you decide that. My thinking is that you just have to commit to it and say , that's it. Just hand that paper in like you did when you were in school. It will be up to the reader to grade that work. I'd like to say that it doesn't matter, but it does. I'm not expecting to make any money on the deal but I do want positive reviews. It would be a lie to say I didn't. Vanity rears its' ugly head. I expect that is why companies such as the one I am using are called vanity presses. They will publish anything as long as you are willing to pay. It is for those of us that lack confidence in our literary endeavors. That's the truth of it, but I fool myself by saying I refuse to be judged ! However it comes out in the end, it will be mine exclusive of any editing.
 Like everything else it has to have a form. Is it to be a novel, a mystery or a piece of non-fiction ? Having read what I have written over and over again in the editing process I came to a startling conclusion. What I am writing is an epistle ! I know, an epistle ? Epistles are in the Bible aren't they. Yes, that's true but it isn't the only place you will find them. Just what is an epistle ? It is nothing more than a letter written to someone or an entire group of people. It is didactic in nature. So far what I have written is centering on morality and ethics. I'm just as surprised as anyone. Having discovered that I am now wondering just who I'm writing this letter too. I do like the sound of an epistle better,  sounds scholarly. Epistles are generally used to instruct. Whatever it is that I am composing, letter, epistle or otherwise is offered more as an explanation than instruction. I do believe there is little I could teach anyone. I do try to provide a different point of view on occasion. Yes, I offer an opinion, on everything. I've even got an opinion on opinions.
 Perhaps what I'm writing isn't an epistle after all, just a remembrance. In that case I would just be reminding myself. I've been around for a while now and perhaps a review is in order. I've made my choices along the way. There has been sacrifice, as well as gain. The question to be examined is, were the sacrifices made sufficient ? Well that would depend upon whom the choices benefitted ? Were they for myself, or for others ? The truth is, both ! Just what does the balance sheet look like ? That's the book we have all heard about. It is an account book. I did this on account of that ! An explanation to a life lived.
 In the end I don't believe we get an opportunity, to explain. The facts are written in the account book. We will be judged on the bottom line. We are allowed to make mistakes so long as we amend our choices in the future. The final judgement, the bottom line is a simple one. Either you were a plus or a minus. The goal is to become a plus, that is clear enough. ?  Do we owe others an explanation ?  I believe we do only so as much as we value those people. What I mean by that is, the more you value others, the more the need to explain. Explanations are a sign of caring, excuses are for yourself. Intentions are what we think, actions are what we do. The two don't always align. If your intentions were pure you may offer an explanation, if they were not, you will offer an excuse. Explanations should outweigh excuses. That is the plus you want to achieve.
 Is this an epistle ? Or is what I have written an explanation ? There are some that will see this as an excuse. I have no control over any of that. Yes, the style, the choice of wording can cause emotional responses that may cloud the truth of the statement. They may also cloud a fallacy. In my eyes I am offering an explanation, not an excuse. 

Victimized ?

 How did it come to be that being a victim became an empowerment ? It certainly appears that way to me, why else would so many claim to be a victim ? In my experience people claim that status because it is perceived as an advantage. It was something we learned as children. But Mommy, he was picking on me. Then Mom reprimands the offender and you get rewarded. Yes I'll be a victim in exchange for a reward. I may even gain sympathy and get my self esteem stroked.
 I hear more and more claiming this based on any number of things. I don't need to list them all, you've heard them all as well. There are some making a living being a victim. What infuriates me is when they profit from being a victim of their own making ! Especially so when that is followed by the accusation that I don't understand their plight. I understand that there are consequences for our actions. I also understand that consequences can be positive as well as negative. If you make poor choices that doesn't make you a victim ! What that makes you is ignorant. Failure to learn from your mistakes is ignorance. Well the truth is, we all fall victim to our choices.
The place you were born, your gender, or your social standing in the community doesn't automatically make you a victim ! I sure hear a lot of whining. I don't just mean from the left about the results of the last election, although that is whining taken to monumental proportions. I hear people whining about everything and anything. Then when someone exposes a truth about a tragic event that happened to them, all at once I keep hearing, " me too ! "  I think they have a hashtag for that now, me too. Now I'm not saying those folks are lying just questioning why you would jump on that bandwagon ? Sadly I know the answer to that one. It is because it isn't my fault and I want everyone to know that. I can now broadcast whatever tragic event happened to me, be a victim, and receive support, and in some cases accolades for my bravery ! Give me a break with that.
 Alright tell me how I lack empathy. Tell me I don't understand anything. I'm just a mean old man and what's worse, I'm white. I have been enjoying all that privilege for 64 years now. That's the narrative right ? That may be true, although I certainly don't see it that way, but I was just born this way. It wasn't my choice, I'm a victim too ! I'm a victim of what ? Being born ? Am I victim of culture ? Yes that would be the case wouldn't it ? That is where the issue really lies, in culture. That's why we have left and right. We are taught to choose sides aren't we ? The obvious way to do that is by outward appearances. We divide ourselves by color ,by size, by wealth, by education level and the list goes on. When we attempt to assimilate into a society other than our own we are attacked. We are attacked by the ones we are trying to join and by the ones we are trying to leave ! It is a two way street. It is really quite a simple concept best described by an old idiom, " you can't have your cake and eat it too. "
 Of course a victim is innocent in all of this. That is the precept being utilized here. It isn't my fault and here is why. It is all beyond my control. That is what we are being told. And just who is telling us that ? Think about that. It is the ones that wish to control us, that's who. There is a gain for those folks. Just keep telling everyone how they are being cheated, deprived or somehow being mistreated to create unrest. It is through unrest and chaos that change often arrives. We have become a bit more sophisticated about that. At one time we would just stage a coup or a civil war ! The plan now is a bit more insidious. The plan itself isn't anything new, it has been going on since man first formed a community. Someone wants to be the boss ! What isn't being taught is this, by being a victim you are exposing your weakness. That is what a victim does, expose their weakness, their vulnerability. Then the one that wishes to control can offer solace, feign outrage that such a thing happened and promise to correct it ! Thing is, no one can change the past. And guess what ? Bad things happen to good people.
 I guess it is just a fundamental difference I can only attribute to my age. I was taught to not whine and cry about everything that happens to you that is unfavorable. I was taught you either took action or cowered in the corner. I may have become a victim, but I didn't have to remain one. Best thing to do was learn from that experience. I'm not going to willingly expose my weakness to anyone. I don't want sympathy. I don't want to be viewed in that fashion. Oh, poor Ben. I've made my choices, I've accepted whatever consequences occurred as a result of those choices. Yes, I have been a victim on a few occasions, that's aright. It happens. 

a plan

We are twenty days into October. I went to the candidate meet and greet for our local elections. It was held at the new " Community hall " that the fire department built. A new engine house is to follow in the years to come. It looks like it will be a wonderful complex. By the time enough funding is available and the structure complete it will be time for an upgrade. Isn't that the way it always works ? It is nice to see progress being made though and I support their efforts. There are always growing pains associated with that sort of thing. The fire departments' relationship with the town has improved. Exactly what the issues were in the past I can't say as I am not that involved in local politics. My son is heavily involved in all of that. In fact he was one of the candidates I went to meet and greet ! He is running for town commissioner once again. He has been a member of the council on several occasions. He ran for Mayor during the last cycle and unfortunately lost in his bid. That's alright the Mayors seat will be open again in two years. We'll get'em then.
 The meet and greet went well with each candidate getting three minutes to lay out their platform. Following that there was a question and answer period. Most of the questions involved the usual topics, taxes and the streets. Everyone complains about the taxes and then complain about the streets. The majority of people have no idea just how expensive a proposition it is to pave a street. The cost of the engineering study alone is enough to prohibit even thinking about it. Most don't realize all the studies and hoops you have to jump through with the county, state and even federal authorities. Yup, it's 2017 we can't just throw some tar and chip down and call it a day. The water and sewer bills are always an issue. The town of Greensboro was mandated by the State to build a new waste treatment facility. I don't know how many million dollars that cost. I don't want to know either. We are a farming community and nutrient runoff is a big issue along with the raising of chickens and their waste. I didn't attend but the town just hosted a tour of that new facility. I hear it is quite impressive.
 Greensboro like a great many small towns in America today doesn't have much of a downtown business area anymore. The old Mom and Pop businesses just can't compete. Given the ease with which we move around these days, a six mile drive to the Walmart is nothing at all, it is no wonder. We do have a " convenience " store similar to seven eleven. It's not much and expensive. Well, it's a place to buy beer and cigarettes or get a sub sandwich and fried chicken. It also runs the laundry mat. It is the lack of businesses that causes so much strain on the tax system. The town has to get money from somewhere. The challenge is to attract new businesses. Just how we can do that I don't know. The only business that could survive would be some kind of tourist thing. The question then is why would anyone come to Greensboro ? I'd be the first to tell you it is a wonderful little town to live in. I'd also be the first to tell you there isn't much here as far as entertainment goes. We have a river running through town, The river isn't very deep and the fishing isn't all that either. Lately I do see a lot of folks in kayaks, of course the winter months are upon us and that activity will end soon. Yes the challenge is for Greensboro to identify an attraction and advertise it. You have to market your town these days. It's a strange world we live in. Folks want to live in the country but have all the city stuff readily available as well. The best of two worlds ? Maybe that's the solution. Greensboro just needs a place were people can spend money on food and crafts. They'll come if there is a place to spend money. Maybe an underground mall so you don't spoil the landscape. We could call it the Greensboro underground, give it that " slightly dangerous or illegal " vibe. Sounds like a plan to me.  

missing out

 I was thinking about some of the things kids miss out on today. You know the things that have fallen out of favor and been replaced by electronics and such. One of those things that came to mind was receiving a card or letter in the mail. I can remember that being somewhat of a big deal when I was young. That letter was addressed to me. Mom or Dad couldn't open it, no one else was allowed to open it, that is the law ! I thought that was pretty cool. It was like getting a secret in the mail. I expect their are a lot of kids today that have never known that thrill. As I thought about that I decided to get some Halloween cards for the grandkids. I was at the store at the time, in fact it was the display of cards that prompted that line of thinking. I guess there is something to that displaying products stuff. Anyway, even though the kids are all teenagers I thought I would mail them all a card. Yes, I bought ones designed for small children really, that's part of the fun. So, I got the cards and came home to address them. As I picked up my pen to write on the envelope I took pause. Do you remember when you were young and got a letter ? How was it addressed ? If you were a young lady it would be Miss. Nothing wrong with that, but do you remember if it were a boy ? In that case it may have been addressed " Master. " That is why I paused, it must be political correctness that is rubbing off. Have I become " socially aware, sensitive to the feelings and perceptions of others ? I thought, how would that salutation be interpreted today ?  If someone were to read that on the envelope just what reaction could result ? I left it off.
 I haven't used that salutation in many years. I wonder if they still teach that at all. It was old fashioned when I learned it, so I guess by now it is an ancient thing. I was taught the different forms for writing correspondence. It was just a cursory overview in English class. You remember, where to put what on the paper ? They call it formatting these days. You can do that with a click of your mouse if you are old school. What, you don't have a touch screen computer ? After deciding to not include Master in the address line I wondered about using Dear. Is that acceptable today ?  Dear could be seen as a term of endearment and inappropriate in certain situations. OMG, it could be a trigger and be construed as an assault ! Better not use that either. Well, I'm not going to worry about all of that any further. I'll just move along. By the way, the salutation Master had nothing to do with slavery, or being a slave holder, and was not reserved for use with white folks. All male children of any race or ethnicity were addressed as Master in a formal setting.
 I never had a pen pal. I would write an occasional letter to some friends I knew that stayed in my hometown over the summer months. After labor day when they went back to their homes I wouldn't see them again until Memorial day weekend. I would send a note or a card filling them in on things. We didn't call each other. I guess that was because, generally speaking, using the telephone was an adult thing. If it were real important, or an emergency,  you could pick it up. It was not to be used for idle conversation. You did feel just a little bit important or grown up when you got to use the phone. That did change a bit when we switched to push button phones, then we would " play a tune " on that keypad when Mom wasn't listening. My sister wanted a " princess " phone but Dad said, no way. One phone hanging on the kitchen wall was plenty. You did have to earn the privilege of using that phone. It wasn't " unlimited " calling that much was sure. I remember calling collect and Dad refusing the charges ! It was a secret signal though. I called long distance and Dad would refuse the charges. It told him I was fine and had arrived at my destination. Pretty slick trick, Ma Bell couldn't fool us. Yes, it was an act of collusion ! These kids today will never know that feeling. Funny how that feeling is really one of having gotten over on the man. What a bunch of rebels we were. It's alright though we went to church on Sunday.
 Well I gotta go and mail these cards. It cost 49cents each. I remember when you bought an air mail stamp for thirteen cents. Yes, air mail was separate and you had to write that on the outside of the envelope. Regular mail was 8 cents. Hey, it ain't cheap it you want it to go air mail ! I bought envelopes that had those red stripes around the borders. Do kids today known what it means if the stamp is upside down ? What about if it says SWAK across the back. And I'm betting it is awful hard to scent an e-mail ! Kids today just don't know.
   

making a choice

 I saw in the news where California now allows you to not choose a sex on your drivers license. That's correct, you don't have to choose between male or female. You can now say you are non-binary ! That means you must be at least a third choice, maybe more. When the officer calls into the station when making that traffic stop the description may be, I have a six foot, non-binary person of color of undetermined ethnicity. If that is what is on the license isn't that what he or she would have to report ? Well, I realize that nowadays you get to choose, but even then, there are only two sexes. With the addition of this non-binary designation wouldn't that add a third ? I know that there is a mental illness called multiple personality disorder,  wouldn't this be multiple sex disorder ? It sure sounds like a mental disorder to me. If you can't or refuse to pick a sex what else could it be ? If a non-binary person gets arrested what jail do you look them up in ? If you put a non-binary person in the male or female prison couldn't they then sue ? You are not recognizing a legal right to be a , whatever you think you are or aren't.
 I also saw an article saying how opioid deaths have dropped in Colorado since pot was legalized.  Yes, it has proven to be a alternative to opioid use. Well, even though I oppose the recreational use of pot I can see where you would choose to use pot instead of an illegal opioid. Just good common sense. I can buy the pot legally and it won't kill me. I would also expect it is a less expensive product. Sounds like a winning combination. What that article failed to mention was that deaths from traffic accidents have increased by 66%. Fewer people are overdosing, which generally kills just the one person, but traffic fatalities are up ! Traffic accidents normally involve more than one vehicle although I admit that isn't always the case. Makes for an interesting decision though. Is it good that fewer people are overdosing on illegal drugs but are now killing, or at least involving non-participants in their legal drug use ? I hear the argument, it's no worse than drinking alcohol. That is nothing more than a moral equivalency. It is employed by those doing something morally wrong as a means to justify their behavior. Both behaviors are equally as bad ! That is exactly why it is expressed as " no worse than . " A moral equivalency. The argument doesn't hold water at all. Does it make a difference if you overdose or crash your car in a fatal accident ? You are just as dead. In the later case you might kill one or more that aren't even involved.
 Almost every day I read or see in the news things that just boggle the mind. The Boy scouts are allowing girls to join. As far as I know you can still use whatever bathroom you want to identify with. The same applies to the locker rooms at fitness clubs. Statues are offending people. We have Nazis, communists and  all manner of evil folks staging parades and protests in equal numbers. The non-violent groups inciting violence and claiming to be victims. Guns have become violent, somehow magically animated themselves, taking over a person and committing mass shootings ! It's the guns, not the people. Executing a convicted criminal that perpetrated heinous and violent crimes is not morally acceptable but killing an unborn child is a choice ! Makes me shake my head trying to make sense of any of this claptrap I hear from the left. Well, there will come a breaking point, there always is, and I hope I live to see it. 

Dried Ink

 I started writing some of my blogs in cursive in a notebook. My thinking is that action will add value. I have always found hand written items to be far more personal. I do think it is something falling by the wayside with the rush of technology. When was the last time you sat and wrote a letter ? I have written little more than a note in years. Sentiments expressed inside a Hallmark card do not carry the same weight as ones scribbled by a child. I'd say that was true of adults as well. I do try to include more than a signature when sending greeting cards. It is that expenditure of time that I am trying to convey. To let the recipient know that I spent more time than just signing my name on the bottom and sealing the envelope shut. That is the time I spent thinking about you.
 The issue I face is my penmanship is atrocious. I remember being graded on that in elementary school. I do believe that ended somewhere around the fourth or fifth grade. All that was well over fifty years ago and so my memory is a bit faint. I do recall learning to write in cursive and it was a big deal. I also remember when it didn't count anymore and that was just fine. Later on we were required to submit our essays and term papers typed and double spaced for the ease of the teacher. I can understand the necessity of that from their standpoint. I wonder though if we shouldn't have been made to submit those papers in cursive, legible and double spaced.
 Some time back I thought to take up calligraphy. That lasted about a week or so. It is far more tedious than I thought. I'm always in too much of a hurry to put my thoughts down. I'm thinking that is why that writing was developed by monks. It does take the patience of a saint ! Really though I've known a few people that were quite skilled at that. I noticed that these people were also artistically inclined. So that explains that, I have no artistic ability whatsoever. Now I'm thinking I will just keep writing in cursive and try to develop it to a point of legibility. I have notebooks full of thoughts and scribbles around my house. Finding examples of my handwriting wouldn't be a difficult thing. Handwritten notes, letters or cards from other members of my family are quite a rare thing. I have a postcard written by my Grandmother that is a true treasure. Written to her father when she was about ten. With that dried ink on an old postcard she has connected with me. She passed long before my birth. There are examples of Great Grandmothers writing on the back of old photographs.
 Those things did bring an awareness to me. A friend published a book using letters that she found in her attic. All written by hand and written to loved ones. Obviously cherished they became a gift. Maybe that is why I feel a desire to hand write some of my blogs and poetry. If they are handwritten perhaps they are more likely to be saved, Typed and printed documents do seem more expendable for some reason. I think that is what bothers me, that expendability. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust the Bible tells us and you can't refute the validity of that statement. There is a permanence to dried ink. Doesn't make any difference if it is on parchment or a postcard the words written there take on a deeper meaning. Ink has the ability to capture emotion in a way we can't understand. Is it time that is captured ? That period of time, when the words were written, is time shared with whoever reads it. You know it rates the title of manuscript only when it is handwritten. Manuscripts just sound so formal, impressive wouldn't you say ? I will leave a manuscript for future generations. Hope they can decipher it. Well by then they will have a computer program to do that. 

The popular principle ?

 Not much changes in the world as far as human emotions go. Emotions all too often form our character as well. The ancient Greek philosophers and others formed schools and wrote extensively about such things. Personally I have only read snippets of that from time to time. Being raised in New England the prevalent philosophy there was of a stoic nature. I think that is no longer the case but I'll leave that study to the sociologists. I read an interesting quote the other day by a fella named Grantland Rice, " A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion. " I looked him up and he was a sportswriter.  He wrote a lot of life quotes based on golf. Philosopher and sports writer, a good combination.
 That quote struck me as being especially relevant in todays world. I see many following public opinion. How quickly they adopt whatever the current agenda and popular opinion is. It's nothing new. Socrates wrote about that very thing. Many others have done so also. It is the Principles before Popularity argument. When we were in school we didn't have " schools of philosophy " we had cliques. Same thing though, it concerned principles and popularity. With what group did you identify ? Was it the group you really felt comfortable with, or did you seek to be in  the " popular " group ? Depended upon how much you were willing to sacrifice your principles really. If you weren't privileged enough to be in that " popular " group by virtue of your families wealth or social standing in the community, you could become the token. All the really popular groups keep a few tokens around to show their superior moral virtues, a sort of smoke screen. Sadly, there are always those that will gladly accept the role. That did require a certain acquiescence on their part, a surrendering of principle.
 Yes in school as children those choices may be nothing more than a fashion choice or style of music, nothing of any real importance or significance. The problem being that is where habits are formed. It becomes a habit to just go with the crowd. Feeding off of popularity and the popular opinion can starve the mind however. That is because you become dependent, incapable of independent thought. Many begin to believe that whatever the crowd is saying must be truth.      
 What makes a person popular ? Well, in general it is because they have something to give us. It is that simple. Whether it is money, social status, entertainment, wisdom, or something else it is to our advantage to be " friends " with them. There are times when we will sacrifice our principles to gain that " friendship. " It is usually for monetary gain or just to be associated with that person or group. Most recently think Harvey Weinstein. A whole lot of his " friends " knew about his behavior. They were willing to sacrifice their principles to remain friends with him until it was exposed ! When there was no longer any advantage to being his " friend " in fact, it had become a liability, they couldn't distance themselves from him fast enough. Did these folks just gain " principles ? "
 Then there are those that share our principles. It is a connection on a different level. Those are the friends that remain with us for life. We all have one or two of those friends. That isn't to say our principles are good or bad, but merely the birds of a feather flock together analogy. It is my observation that the popular ones rarely stick to their principles. That is the nature of popularity, an ever changing landscape of feelings and emotions. What pleases the crowd at this moment. In order to retain popularity, which many translate as relevance, they choose popular opinion over principle. That is true even when the " principle " was popular and relevant just a short time ago. Think America following the attack of 9/11. Following that it was popular to be a Patriot, to fly the Flag proudly and pledge to defend her. Not so popular an opinion now is it ? Why ? A change in principle ? It is my fervent prayer that isn't the case and this too is just a passing fad, a popularity.
 All I can say is I will never sacrifice my principles in that regard. No matter how many names I get labeled, how unpopular an opinion it may become, I will not relent. Principle before popularity is what I was taught as a child. I will stand firm. I've never been the " popular " guy, the life of the party or any of that. The reason is a simple one, I refuse to sacrifice my core principles or beliefs to satisfy anyone or any group. Many are complaining right now proclaiming Hillary Clinton won the popular vote. And my response is; thank God and the founding Fathers that they knew better than that. That is exactly why they formed a Republic, a government based on law, not popularity. A  democracy is too fickle a mistress to govern a nation. Just because it is popular, doesn't' make it correct.

legislating heroes

The Governor of Maryland is proposing tax breaks for heroes. Yes, that what he is calling that proposed bit of legislation. The hometown heroes tax relief package would remove the requirement for certain groups to pay taxes on their retirement income. The heroes ? First responders, corrections officers and law enforcement officers. Last month he did mention military retirees as well. A fine and noble sentiment, one politically expedient as the number of Democrats lining up to oppose him in the upcoming election keeps growing. Now, I'm not saying this is the reason he is proposing this right now. I do recall his predecessor, Bob Ehrlich promising military retirees he would abolish our requirement to pay taxes on our retired pay. Yeah, that didn't happen. Sounded pretty good at the time though.
 My issue with all of this is how to define who is and isn't a " hometown hero. " The way I hear it everyone is a hero these days. Joined the National Guard and went to two weeks of training ? You're a hero. Rescued a cat from a tree, you're a hero. If you performed any act of kindness or compassion toward your fellow man, you're a hero ! See the problem there ? Aren't our school teachers heroes ? What about the coaches, counselors or clergy ? Heroes one and all ! Just how do you define a hero ? To me this form of legislation borders on pandering. Hey Governor, want votes much ? Let's target those core groups, you know, the old people that have fixed incomes. We will tell them all they are heroes and reduce their taxes. That'll get them out to vote for you for sure. That's the way it sounds to me but I'm often accused of being jaded. Maybe so, but Ehrlich promised the military tax break five or six years ago and they are still talking about that. I'm glad those " hero " first responders don't take that long to respond. But then I'm just a disgruntled old man.
 The fact of the matter is I get annoyed with all this talk of heroes. Not everyone is a hero ! In my way of thinking that is just adding to the problem. If everyone is a hero just who are we supposed to look up to ? Who are our role models, our inspiration, the people we wish to emulate ? If everyone is a hero, there are no heroes !!! When I was young we had heroes. We had sports heroes, musical heroes and then we had real heroes. Those real heroes never admitted to being a hero, they were the modest ones that always responded in the same fashion. They didn't seek accolades, medals or public recognition. Heroes are born and live in a moment. That's the reality of it. Have we, as a society, become so dependent upon recognition that we can't act without receiving that ? Is it the quest for a sticker, a ribbon or a trophy that important ? We are all heroes ?
 Well, I'm just an old guy. I've met a few heroes in my lifetime. They didn't tell me they were, they didn't advertise. I doubt they ever knew I thought they were heroes. In my day, you just didn't go throwing the hero badge around. That was reserved for the special ones, I don't know, I just find the whole thing a bit pathetic. So now we will legislate who is and isn't a " hometown hero. " Should be some interesting debate on the senate floor about that. 

in principle

 Once again I find myself knocked off center. I'm struggling to regain balance. I realize that there are times when these writings of mine are rather cryptic and it is by design. Blog postings are very public things and certain things shouldn't be discussed in public. You could say I'm trying to protect the innocent.  I have no right to expose what other people may or may not be going through, even when those things effect me deeply. I'm not talking about dirty laundry here, but a persons' right to a degree of privacy. Sometimes these cryptic postings cause others to become concerned for my well being. I am humbled when that happens. The sincerest form of flattery one can display is a sense of caring.
 I try to discuss and share the underlining emotions these events cause in myself. I have a need to explain. Some people like to write stories, poetry, or whatever as a form of entertainment. I've been known to do that as well, but primarily I would say I'm interested in explaining things. These explanations are more for myself than the reader ! The written word somehow seems more relevant, certainly more permanent. It isn't always correct and I'm aware of that as well. For that reason I do not publish everything I write. I want to be certain that is what I want to say. It's like checking your papers before handing in an assignment.
 I've been publishing these things for about seven years now. I don't remember everything I've ever put to paper and my hope is there aren't too many inconsistencies. Conversely I hope there are some because that is a sign of growth. Growth isn't accomplished by a conscious effort but develops over time. It should be a natural process, not forced. What I'm saying is you cannot "learn" or to be  "taught " to grow. Growth has to be a personal experience to be effective. Growing pains ! Those pains are mental, as well as physical. If the mental pains ever cease completely, you have a serious problem. As long as you can feel them, you are alive.
 Metaphorically speaking there are many that become brain dead, intoxicated by their own feelings of self importance, convinced of their superior intellects. Those folks would be well advised to act upon  principles instead of their emotions. Emotions can be a destructive force in our lives just as readily as providing pleasure. When we respond to issues or situations with the intent to make ourselves feel good to the exclusion of all others, emotions can become destructive. When making those choices be careful to not undermine your principles, for they are the foundation. Responding to problems with emotions will never solve the problem. Stay calm and think. I'm trying to take my own advice.
 When there is no solution to the problem one is left with nothing but emotion. The problem becomes how to channel emotion in a productive fashion. It may or may not be pleasing to you. Do I do what I need for myself or for others ? What is the underlining principle here ? Self preservation or sacrifice ? Act upon principle, not emotion is the answer. Easier said, or in this case written, than done. 

Memories discarded

  As anyone that reads these postings knows, I love my old pictures and " artifacts. " The dictionary describes an artifact as an object made by a human being, typically an item of cultural or historical interest. I have a bunch of artifacts around the house. They are of historical interest to me anyway. I believe we all have those things, must of us call it stuff. It was this stuff I am thinking about this morning. I have had to say " see you later " to a few friends lately. By that I mean they have passed on, I don't say goodbye because I do believe I will see them again. Following their passing their stuff will have to be sorted through. I can't imagine what that must be like. I'm thinking I would be one of those folks that would have to leave things as they were. Either that or I would have to hire someone else to do it when I was out of sight, preferably in another state somewhere.
 Occasionally I like to shop the junk shops. I can't afford to shop the antiques stores, antiques are memories with a monetary value. So I shop the junk stores. Junk stores are where a great deal of stuff winds up. The reality is they are discarded memories. The junk shops fascinate me for that very reason. You just never know what you may find there. As I say, I wouldn't say I am a big shopper or collector. It is just an occasional thought, a pastime usually inspired by wanting a specific item. I think the last time I went in search of an old fashioned juicer. You know, the glass kind that you just jam the orange over the center cone and begin to twist. I found one, for a dollar or two. An artifact undoubtedly from someone's home. It sits on top of my cabinet in the kitchen, a curiosity. It may have been precious to someone else, I can't know that but I like to think it was.
 In my cabinet I have a small collection of coffee cups. They say, Grandpa, best Dad and the like on them. Some have never been used. It is those type of things that wind up in the junk shops. Artifacts or just stuff ? Memories to me, even when I don't remember exactly when I got them. Isn't that strange ? It is the same thing as when your Mom saved all your school stuff.  I still have things from when my kids were in elementary school and they are forty two now. It is still just stuff to them. After I'm gone will they become artifacts ? That designation will be left up to them. Yes others get to choose whether your memories are saved or just discarded. It is in that I pause to contemplate my mortality. Who will preserve my memories ? Which ones will be discarded as junk ? It's a depressing thought isn't it ?
 I have quite the collection of family photographs on the wall. I keep adding to it as the years go on. They are all related to me in some fashion. Yes there are a number of them that passed long before my time. There are some that have never set foot in America at any time. Some I have known and others I just heard the stories. All of that makes little difference to me. I just enjoy the " ambiance " it creates in my mind as I enter their world. I hope others find it inviting as well. I do like to sit, surrounded by these faces and recall the past. There is mystery there as well. I feel a sense of familiarity which each of these photographs, if not with the individual. It really is an ethereal thing, easily shattered by reality. There are times when I grow concerned for these artifacts and memories. I realize I won't always be here to care for them.
 I don't expect someone to save everything I owned. I do have a lot of stuff, junk really just lying around. I hesitate to throw it away or dispose of in some fashion and I can't really say why. The go to excuse is, I might need that some day. Just why I might need a uniform item from twenty five years ago I can't imagine, but I might. I think if these items had monetary value and my heirs or descendants were to sell them after I'm gone that would be alright. That is simply because if someone is buying, that means they are keeping. No one buys stuff to throw away. It is in that I worry. My pictures and other artifacts that I value so highly have little to no monetary value. So, just who would keep them ? Why should they keep them is the real question ?
 The truth is the stuff others feel an attachment to, will be saved. Oh, a lot will be saved early on when your memory is fresh. As the years pass and your memory fades, so too those attachments grow weaker. We are remembered as a singularity, but our memories are many. For that reason we can not expect others to remember everything. They have plenty of memories of their own.
 How quickly and how strongly those attachments form is strictly an individual thing. That's the problem though. The way I feel about certain things is not going to be the same as the way you feel. No matter how much I try to impart those memories in your consciousness, they won't always stick. Memories get discarded. It's kinda depressing when you think about it. It is only depressing to ourselves though. Those still here will cherish whatever objects and memories are important to them and that is what matters most. 

clarity and the news

 I have regained my breath from yesterdays news and am still processing that. I have found the best way for me to do that is to let it " simmer " for a while. I do need to get it down to its' essence. Once I have accomplished that much I will decide upon a course of action. Even when we throw our hands in the air in desperation, there is something we can do. We just need time to see what that action may be. Clarity will come in time. Often we need to look at the horizon to see what is in front of us.
 I turned on the news to hear, the boy scouts are now going to admit girls. My initial reaction was, that's just stupid. Well, I've been thinking about that and guess what, it's stupid. I hear the girl scouts aren't very happy about it either. This centers around obtaining the Eagle scout badge. The girl scouts highest award is the Gold Award. The thinking is the Eagle scout award is better than the Gold Award. I wonder why that would be ? I was never a boy scout. As far as I know it is just a club, like all others. I question the relevance of that club in society today. And just why would the girl scouts of America think less of their top award ? Just what are they teaching those young ladies anyway ? Could it be that they are teaching them that no matter what award and accolades they receive they will never be a man ! Well that's controversial now isn't it. It certainly is, we should be teaching you get to decide what you want to be, biology be damned. You can get any award you want. We are striving for a gender neutral world.
 Oh I know it is all about this being a mans' world. A white mans' world. That's because every white guy in America has more privilege than anyone else. We got that by subjugating everyone else. Yup, that's what we did alright. I was born a white male and that gives me the edge. Well at least it always has. We need to change all of that. The fastest way to do that is just let people decide for themselves what they want to be. Hey, worked for Elizabeth Warren didn't it ? Rachel Dolezal changed her race as well. Then there is Bruce Jenner, another fine example of what is possible. Too bad he is so old, maybe he could win the women's championship in track and field. Of course I guess it is the men's awards that really count.
 There lies the problem for me. If you are saying the girls can do anything the same as the boys, and I agree that you can, why do you want the mans' award ? Shouldn't the objective be to have the ladies awards obtain equal status ? By insisting on getting the men's' award you are validating the idea that those awards are the superior award. Guess it is just me, but looks like a defeatist attitude to me. I can't beat the men, I'll join them. Girls in the boys scout ? Excuse me but if you allow girls to join the boy scouts it isn't the boy scouts anymore. Now it is the GNS of America. Gender Neutral Scots of America. Maybe it should be GYN of America. Gender Youth Neutral of America. LOL, You thought I was going to say something else. I'll be accused of that anyway, never mind actual facts. That isn't how the world works anymore. Now it is all about " identifying "and getting what you want. Bottom line in all of this seems to be, " your award isn't any better than my award, but I want your award."     

Breathless

 There are times when your breath is taken away. For me, this is one of those times. I received some terrible news of a personal nature. This news is a finality, there is no changing this news. Time will move forward to the inevitable conclusion. This blog, this rambling and writing that I have formed a habit of posting every morning is no forum for this type of thing. I understand for others it can be a form of therapy but not for me. This is an internal struggle. I must come to grips with this reality and deal with it as best I can.
 For that reason this is all I can write this morning. My mind is far too preoccupied to expound on the mysteries of the universe or any political agendas. I am breathless.   

what I think

As I write these blogs I see a theme developing. What I am writing about most of the time are fundamental changes. It is in those changes that I become uneasy or confused. I'm guessing that is what happens to most of us. It's not a bad thing, just an awareness. Is it conviction or stubbornness ? Is it moral fortitude ? What is it about these changes that are so unsettling ? The answer is obvious, a change in the fundamentals , changes the whole game. When the rules change, so too, the game. I have seen a lot of rule changes thus far. It make me wonder just where I am in the game. The biggest question is whether I'm winning or losing ? That is what we all want to know. No one wants to be a loser !
 How do we define winning and losing ? It is by the achievement of a goal. When it comes to life, what is the goal ? Personal happiness would have to be that goal. The rules are what restrict our movements aren't they ? Yes, they are. Whether those roles stem from your personal morality or you are merely compliant with the rules of man, they do restrict. The society in which we live also imposes rules. Over time the rules change and that is what I notice. I'm not the first. Many people far more learned than myself have written treatises on this very subject. I'm just a simple man with simple ideas. That last is not intended as a self serving statement, rather as an explanation. You see, I haven't read a great deal about all this stuff I write about. I just figure you all could read that stuff for yourself if you were interested. For that reason I just write what I think. I really don't seek or require validation from others regarding my thoughts. I do enjoy it when I find a quote from someone especially learned or famous that agrees with me. But I'm not kidding myself, you can find such quotes and validation for just about every view one chooses to take. These views come and go in favor. Fundamental changes in philosophy and actions.
 I do believe it is the expectations of society that drive us forward more than any other thing. That is why we make excuses for not complying with society's rules. It is an attempt to change those rules. The rules are restrictive. Yes, the majority of us will cheat given the opportunity. We want to win ! Winners get to change the rules. There is more than one way to skin a cat. What a strange idiom that is. Are all the ways correct ?
 What is it that you want ? Do you want to fulfill the expectations of society or find happiness ? Do we have to choose between the two ? As with most everything it is a compromise. Our personal happiness, we are taught, is not as important as satisfying the expectations of others. That is true because if we seek personal happiness without having first fulfilled those expectations, society will judge us. In short, we will have broken the rules. The only time that doesn't apply is if we become very wealthy or famous. Those two grant you immediate success in the eyes of the society. I have noticed over the years it doesn't seem to grant personal happiness quite as quickly. The enigma for me in that situation is, if they are doing what they love and are very successful at it, why aren't they happy ? Is it because they feel they haven't followed all the rules ?
 I doubt that, rarely do we feel guilt for what we get away with. That only happens when we become conscious of our conscience. The fundamental shift I am watching right now is the dismissal of the rules altogether. Everything must change ! We call that " progress. " Progress by definition is just moving forward toward a goal or destination. Progress implies something better. That isn't always the truth. What is the goal or destination ? The answer is different for everyone. No, that's not right. We all want to be happy is the correct response. It is only in the manner we achieve that happiness that separates us. Really not much changes under the sun , to coin an old idiom. It is only when you live long enough to notice the changes that they begin to bother you.
 What does all this rambling on have to do with anything ? In the big picture , very little. For me, in my little world it is just a diversion. I feel the need to explain. Does that need stem from guilt ? Could be. All the big physiatrists have offered their thoughts on this. I honestly don't think they have any more insight to what people are thinking than I do. In my opinion a good bartender is equal to a good therapist. Both issue advice, opinions and mind altering substances. One has read and studied a whole bunch of what other people thought and wrote. The bartender usually just listens. Can't see much difference other than cost. Well that's what I think. 

spilled milk

 One of the things I heard often growing up was, no need in crying over spilled milk. It was a simple lesson. I admit it took a while to grasp the meaning of it, and I still occasionally cry when that milk get spilled, but it was sound advice. I have learned to accept the consequences of an action and move on from it. That was the central lesson there. You can't change the past, only learn from it. It seems to me we spend a great deal of time and energy these days trying to rewrite the past. The same things  happen, we just find someone different to blame for them. For some folks this seems to make it better. Personally I don't understand that at all. I mentioned it yesterday, the whole Columbus deal. Now we are all offended by his actions and claim the day as indigenous peoples day. Funny part about that is Columbus never interacted with any Native American tribes in North America. Minnesota is one state that has changed the day. Columbus was never in Minnesota. But whatever, Now Mexico and Central America they have a legit beef with the guy. I don't think they ever named a holiday after him though. America did because it was politically expedient to do so. Now the politics have changed, so. Well that's how that works anyway.
 The saying " don't cry over spilled milk " was not intended to trivialize anything. It simply means you can't change the past. Oh, there are plenty of folks that will say I lack empathy, I should hold a memorial for that spilled milk. The milk was lost and never got to fulfill its mission, to nourish and sustain life. Why that is the very reason God created milk ! Maybe I should wear a ribbon. Ever drop of milk matters. Silly isn't it ? And that is the way I feel about a lot of the stuff going on today. We shouldn't be holding vigils, ceremonies and marches over every thing that happens. We need to move on. But now we have to make a big show of it all or we don't care. While we tear down statues we are building memorials. How long will it take before those memorials become offensive ? Let a certain group of people get political influence in this country and it'll happen a lot sooner than you think. Just what are we memorializing ? The sentiments of today will certainly change over time. The pendulum swings both ways.
 There was a time in America when we erected statues to serve as inspiration. Results were celebrated. Those guys were heroes ! Now we examine their past and vilify them, tear down those statues, and teach our children how bad those people were. We are even holding protests over folks that died 150 years ago and more ! Crying over spilled milk ! Yes, but we are telling the truth of it all aren't we ? That's the present story anyway. Stories change over time as well, just ask your brother or sister about stuff from your childhood, you'll see. So now we erect memorials. What do these memorials celebrate ? Mostly lives lost. We are remembering the sacrifices of those that lost their lives. A noble sentiment but not very inspiring. The reality is it is just sad. A monument to spilled milk.
 I'm not saying we shouldn't erect memorials. Man has always erected memorials to those that we loved and admired. What I am saying is we shouldn't erect memorials to grief. Our memorials in the past celebrated the lives of those folks, not the fact they were killed or died. Those memorials served as inspiration. Just what are we trying to inspire today ? It's just that I was taught, clean up the mess, don't do that again, and move on. I just wonder where inspiration for our children is supposed to come from ? Football players ? Social injustice warriors ? Just seems to me it is nothing more than a whole lot of crying over spilled milk. 

appeasement ?

 I keep hearing about how terrible Columbus was. The city of Baltimore is home to the oldest statue of Columbus in America. The base of that statue was recently vandalized, well it is offensive you know. I'm not certain who vandalized it, or who was offended. From what I have been reading it should be an indigenous person. The narrative is that would be a native American person. But wait a minute here, those native American people arrived here via a land bridge from Alaska. How can they be indigenous ?  Indigenous means " naturally occurring or native. "  That must be the confusion. Those folks have been called natives for so long we all became confused. So, if we are going to talk about history, stick strictly to the facts as it were, they are not indigenous to America !
 I agree that Columbus is no role model for anyone to emulate but he did arrive in the Americas. Isn't that why they are called the Americas ? The navigator Amerigo Vespucci is credited with that. That he brutalized the peoples that were inhabiting this land is beyond question. Of course if we study history, all history, we can find many examples of peoples that did similar. I can't say whether any of those folks have holidays named after them, but that isn't the point here. Well, okay I guess that is the point, but I am left questioning.
 I was taught in 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue. That's a historical fact, he did that. Was he the first to " discover " the Americas ? The historians all say no. Okay, I agree with that. So just who was the first ? Well it had to be those folks that walked across the land bridge from where ? Oh, the European continent ! So, the native people were Europeans ? No, that can't be right. I have read that everyone, all people came up out of Africa. Are we all Africans ? Science certainly says we are. History can be inconvenient at times. That's why people have always had selective history. We tend to remember what we want to and gloss over what we don't. That is until the story changes and we wish to recall other " facts " that further the current agenda. Did you know Columbus Day was really started as a sort anti-discrimination thing ? Yup, the Italians coming to America were being discriminated against big time. In fact, nine Italians were hung in New Orleans when they were acquitted of a crime. What's worse, two of those nine were just in the jail and not even accused in that crime. No matter the were hung anyway. The thinking became if we make a holiday to honor this Italian guy that " discovered " America maybe the other folks will leave them alone. You know what ? It worked. Now being of Italian ancestry was celebrated. Amazing isn't it ?
 What is the present agenda ? Why is Columbus so offensive today ? The story is because of all the atrocities he committed against the Native Americans. That is just the cover however. The agenda is, all white Europeans should be held accountable for anything that has happened on the north American continent. It is the white folks, mostly from Europe that screwed everything up. It started with that Italian fella Columbus and just got worse from there. If you are white and of European descent you should feel a sense of responsibility. In fact, you should pay reparations !
 Okay, if it makes you feel better take down the statue. Those statues , of almost every kind, have become offensive. They are nothing more than reminders of history. We know history, we don't need to be reminded of it. Should we celebrate Columbus day ? I really don't care one way or the other. The question is, why do we celebrate Columbus day ? Is it really about good old Chris ? The historically correct answer is, No. It wasn't about him, it was about discrimination. It was about throwing a bone to an ethnic group that was being unfairly targeted. Read up on it sometime. It is quite interesting. Not much changes in the world. Now it's time for the white guys to pay the piper. What we need to ask ourselves is, who are we trying to appease ? 

situational morality

 Well Trump has signed legislation giving an employer a choice. They can exercise their religious and moral beliefs or not. Amazing what an uproar that has caused. Imagine you can't demand you be given something just because you want it. Oh, I know, it is a medical necessity. I did a little reading on just what those medical conditions may be. Acne is one. Migraine headaches is another. Regulating your menstrual cycle to reduce the pain of cramps is another. So what I found is all of those things are controlled by a mixture of hormones. Birth control pills are designed to interrupt those hormones and cycles thus preventing pregnancy. So yes, there are situations were taking these pills could be a medical necessity.
 The solution ? I suspect the drug manufacturers will develop pills for those very same symptoms/problems and just list infertility as a side effect. If it is not used primarily for birth control it will be covered as a medical condition. Just wanting to have unprotected sex and not bear the responsibility when you conceive is not a medical condition. It is that some take moral and religious objection too. I'm not an employer and so can't say what I might do. I'm expecting for most employers it will come down to cost. Even the most moral among us want to have a good bottom line. If I'm the drug manufacturer I see this as an opportunity. I can develop " new " medications. Shouldn't be a problem. In New York state it is a hero sandwich, in New Orleans it's a grinder. They do the same thing, just a different name.
 The whole issue boils down to one thing. Your choice to have sex or not. If you do not engage in sexual activity you will not get pregnant. That is a medical fact, undisputable, unless of course you are artificially inseminated. Should I have to pay for you to engage in an activity I find morally wrong ? If I have to pay for your birth control that is exactly what I am being forced to do. That is the truth if you are saying I need these pills to have sex ! You are forcing me to become an enabler, a person or thing that makes something possible.
 I'm not talking about a medical condition here, only about birth control. Yes, abstinence works ! I know, I know, you just can't control yourself. That is a mental condition, not a medical condition. I'm not saying it is abnormal, just that it is a choice dictated by your moral sensibilities. There are many that practice " situational " morality. That occurs when we modify our morals to fit the current situation. Are those that refuse to modify their moral character to accommodate others wrong ? I don't believe you can justify that one. I think you have to agree that everyone has the right to choose for themselves. I think you also would have to agree that everyone should pay for their own choices as well.
 Amazing isn't it ? We are having a big discussion about an issue that was settled on December the fifteenth 1791. That is when the bill of rights were ratified. The first amendment expressly states I can freely practice my religion. It doesn't say I have to pay for your practices ! Should I wish to include " extras " I am free to do that.  
" As of January 1, 2015, employers with 50 or more full time equivalent (FTE) employees are required to provide health coverage to full-time employees or else pay a tax penalty. This is commonly referred to as the employer mandate. "
So you see with less than fifty employees a employer is not required to offer you a thing. It is your choice to work for that employer or not. If there are more than fifty employees health coverage is mandated by law. In my view a moral decision on the part of the employer now being legislated. I don't believe the government has any business legislating my morality. Morals should not be situational !