Monday, September 18, 2017

The comfort of Family

 I looked at the calendar and was reminded. On this day there was a birth, a birth four years before my own. On this day in 1949 my brother Dan arrived. I've known him all my life ! Well, that would be the assumption wouldn't it ? The reality is quite different. We walked side by side for a while. I reached a fork in that road and choose my path. We each traveled our own roads just as we were taught to do. Now brother Dan didn't " travel " all that far for many years. What I mean is he stayed in our hometown after school and built his life there. I joined the Navy and traveled all over the place. I rarely had the opportunity to spend time with him much after the age of 23 or so. We were both occupied with living and our immediate needs.
 I expect this situation happens a great deal more often than we realize. In those Hallmark holiday specials families are always coming together, " friendships " are highlighted between siblings. Oh but if life were really that simple. I don't know maybe my family never received the script. We have all just ad-libbed thus far. My eldest brother was born in 1947 on the 26th of this month. He  left us nearly three years ago. I had more opportunities to see and visit with him than I took advantage of. For that I carry regrets. Brother Dan has traveled now and lives in Georgia. He is still far away in a physical sense but somehow a little closer because of time. Is it because time itself is becoming smaller ? Deaths remind us of that. Our time on earth is finite. I experienced the reminder of time last Friday with the loss of my sister in law. 
 On Saturday it was my Moms' birthday. She turned 88 and it was a reminder. Today I am reminded again. Time is the most precious commodity we can possess. We can't control time, but we can control the use of it. I can't travel to Georgia with any regularity but perhaps I will make that journey on occasion. That is the problem however, occasion. Why do we wait for an occasion ? The occasion should be just being with my brother, that is occasion enough. I understand Dan has purchased a computer and is attempting to learn its' use. I get it, us " older " folks hesitate when it comes to this new technology. I have encouraged him to " get on Facebook " and get connected. Truth is, I want to be connected. I want to share more in his life if only through the medium of social media. There is much to be learned about each other. Yes, we are brothers but there is much that is unknown. We last lived together in a different time and place. The events of life have changed each of us in ways the other may not understand. The brashness of youth often came between us. Then as younger men we were all bravado and machismo !
 I would love to hear the story of his journey thus far. I hope he would like to hear mine. Dan has always been my brother, we were born that way. My wish is to be brothers " together. " We have been brothers apart for far too many years. I work on the family tree, I have my walls lined with photographs, ancestors and descendants. I have wrapped myself with these things. I have found that the greatest gift of all in this life is a very simple thing : it is the comfort of family. The comfort of knowing that you are loved. When those ashes are thrown and the dust settles, that is what is important.
Dan in the foreground, sister Millie and myself. 
Easter 1961 a lot of " water " under that bridge ! 

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