My son and his wife are down from upstate New York to attend the viewing and funeral of his Aunt Joan. Hard to believe it has been a week already since Joan went to her final rest. A number of things conspired to postpone these events until today and tomorrow. These will be the days the family can seek closure, Joan is already resting easy. Going to the viewing is a social convention and I believe in observing the proprieties. On a personal level I just find the whole ordeal unsettling. But, there are those that find comfort in that ritual and I say, Good Bless them.
I began writing this post a little later than usual because my routine is off. I'm not complaining though, just explaining. This whole week has been an emotional roller coaster. Last Friday we received such a shock with the passing of Joan our breaths were taken from us. There are no words to describe such loss. With that however we are reminded of our own mortality. We say, but I just spoke with her a few hours ago. It doesn't seem real. The reality of death permeates our soul, casting shadows. There is doubt, fear and anger churning like a storm. We seek a calm.
I am not one to think we receive signs from those that have past. It is a comforting thought, I'll admit to that. I have been known to say, this is a sign, or that is a sign, as measure of comfort, a kind word, but is it true ? My thinking on this may have to be revised just a bit.
Yesterday I went online to order a plant for Joans' viewing. I selected a Peace Lily as that was one of her favorites. The order was placed no more than 45 minutes when my doorbell rings. I go answer the door and my local florist is standing there, holding a peace lily ! Now I know this lady so I say, Dawn what are you doing with that flower ? It is supposed to go to the funeral home in Glen Burnie. She says, but the card is addressed to you. Removing the card from the envelope I read the signature of the person sending it. Turns out it is Carole, my daughter in laws Mom sending it to my wife to offer her condolences. A chill went up my spine. Was this Joan sending that flower right back ? I could her saying, you shouldn't have done that, here, keep the plant for yourself and enjoy it. That is the way Joan was, always thinking about everyone else. If there is such a thing as a sign, that had to be one. Just a coincidence you say ? I would have said the same thing but maybe it isn't. Carole never knew Joan. Oh they may have met at some point in time, who can remember, but they certainly didn't have any long conversations. Carole would have had no idea about a Peace Lily being one of her favorites. I don't recall my wife ever saying anything about one either. So unless there was some intervention from Joan or the divine how did this happen ? I'm not convinced it was coincidence. For now, in my mind, it will remain a mystery.
Death is a mystery to us all. Just what happens to us ? No one has ever come back to testify. Yes, I know there are those that claim to have done so and I believe they believe that. I don't have an issue with that. If that is what you believe, God Bless you. I believe things others would think foolish and that's alright too. My faith tells me I will not die, not really. The spirit lives on. I'm no different than most, I'm hoping I remember being here. So, for me, it is not a question of eternal life but eternal memory. Will I be able to " send a sign " or influence events after my body expires ? That is the real mystery, isn't it.
I began writing this post a little later than usual because my routine is off. I'm not complaining though, just explaining. This whole week has been an emotional roller coaster. Last Friday we received such a shock with the passing of Joan our breaths were taken from us. There are no words to describe such loss. With that however we are reminded of our own mortality. We say, but I just spoke with her a few hours ago. It doesn't seem real. The reality of death permeates our soul, casting shadows. There is doubt, fear and anger churning like a storm. We seek a calm.
I am not one to think we receive signs from those that have past. It is a comforting thought, I'll admit to that. I have been known to say, this is a sign, or that is a sign, as measure of comfort, a kind word, but is it true ? My thinking on this may have to be revised just a bit.
Yesterday I went online to order a plant for Joans' viewing. I selected a Peace Lily as that was one of her favorites. The order was placed no more than 45 minutes when my doorbell rings. I go answer the door and my local florist is standing there, holding a peace lily ! Now I know this lady so I say, Dawn what are you doing with that flower ? It is supposed to go to the funeral home in Glen Burnie. She says, but the card is addressed to you. Removing the card from the envelope I read the signature of the person sending it. Turns out it is Carole, my daughter in laws Mom sending it to my wife to offer her condolences. A chill went up my spine. Was this Joan sending that flower right back ? I could her saying, you shouldn't have done that, here, keep the plant for yourself and enjoy it. That is the way Joan was, always thinking about everyone else. If there is such a thing as a sign, that had to be one. Just a coincidence you say ? I would have said the same thing but maybe it isn't. Carole never knew Joan. Oh they may have met at some point in time, who can remember, but they certainly didn't have any long conversations. Carole would have had no idea about a Peace Lily being one of her favorites. I don't recall my wife ever saying anything about one either. So unless there was some intervention from Joan or the divine how did this happen ? I'm not convinced it was coincidence. For now, in my mind, it will remain a mystery.
Death is a mystery to us all. Just what happens to us ? No one has ever come back to testify. Yes, I know there are those that claim to have done so and I believe they believe that. I don't have an issue with that. If that is what you believe, God Bless you. I believe things others would think foolish and that's alright too. My faith tells me I will not die, not really. The spirit lives on. I'm no different than most, I'm hoping I remember being here. So, for me, it is not a question of eternal life but eternal memory. Will I be able to " send a sign " or influence events after my body expires ? That is the real mystery, isn't it.
No comments:
Post a Comment