Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Saturday, December 24, 2016

meeting expectations

 It's Christmas eve. One more trip to the store and all will be purchased. There is still a lot to get done to prepare for tomorrow, The big " hour. " The reality is that is about as long as it lasts, an hour. Then the excitement is over. The grandkids are teenagers now. For all the time, money and effort it's over pretty quickly. Thing is, I can't wait to see if it was a success. I know, I know it isn't about presents and all that, but that is what we are anxious about, truth be told. Will everyone like what they get ? I'm looking for that excitement in their eyes that tells me they " like " it, whatever it may be. I do try to think of what would please them. The exchanging of gifts can be a stressful thing if you allow it to be so. I try to think of it as giving a gift rather than exchanging. In that way I don't feel as pressured. I do not anticipate an exchange. At least that is the mindset but not always the actual feeling. I know that most will feel obligated to give something in return. If you think about it the whole deal is a setup ! We are taught it is better to give than to receive. So we feel obligated to give and guilty to receive. Then we feel guilty for receiving, although we gave not expecting anything in return , but the person we gave to feels the same way and gives. We are stuck in a loop.
 I do enjoy giving gifts. Really I do. The unexpected gifts are always the best. I like giving those gifts best of all. It confuses people. Why are you giving me this ? Because I want to. It does have the effect of making them nervous. Christmas though everyone expects something. The kids will be making lists and the adults will be saying, I don't need anything. The whole thing is a nerve wracking ordeal. Have I forgotten anyone ? Do I have a sufficient amount and are they " good " enough ? We will all publically deny having such thoughts. I believe however, that everyone does. We will fall back upon the old teachings about it is the thought that counts. Then we will wonder if we thought enough. The big thought is " is it enough ? "
 The truth of the matter is we are worried about meeting our own expectations. We have our idea of what Christmas should be. The gift giving is just a part of it. And yes, it is a big part whether we openly admit to that or not. It isn't the cost or the size or the quantity of gifts that we are concerned with. What we want is to wow them, to please them and to surprise them. That is the challenge. Expensive gifts can do that I won't deny that fact. You can impress with sheer numbers as well. Both of those actions serve as distractions though. The real way to wow anyone is to surprise them. Surprise them with the knowledge that you have been paying attention. And that is the stress, have you been paying attention ? With children it is easier, they'll make a list ! With teenagers and adults it is a bit more complicated. You have to had been paying attention, at least in the last few months.
 Well tomorrow is the big reveal ! I'll finish wrapping the gifts and making preparations. I'm pleased with the items I have selected. I'm anxious and nervous. Will they meet my expectations ? That is what I wonder about. Somehow it all seems a little bit selfish. I do want everyone to have a Merry Christmas. I do want everyone to " like " whatever gift I have selected for them. My happiness depends upon their reactions. Of course theirs depends on mine as well. It's another one of those loops. I'll be glad when it is over. Whew.