Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Friday, September 30, 2016

goals and expectations

 I do believe in a balance. I think everything we do has to have balance. That thought sprang to the forefront of my thinking as I heard this stat. The cost of childcare is, in some cases, greater than the cost of sending your child to college. That's right, a new study has shown that the cost of daycare may exceed the cost of college tuition. Isn't that an amazing fact. The balance part of that statement is, are too many women working compared to the number of homemakers ? I can see some of you girls bristling right now ! I'll try to explain my thought. I'll begin by saying it could just as easily be the man that stays at home and raises the children. I do tend to assign traditional roles when thinking about this stuff. I suppose that is a product of being raised in the fifties and sixties. My family did embrace the traditional, at least Mom and Dad did. It seems the balance has been thrown off by this new " nontraditional " way of life. I understand it may be an economic necessity for both partners to work. That too is a balance. The balance depends on what you consider the necessities in life. I don't believe many live what would be considered a Spartan lifestyle anymore. We all want the amenities in life and amenities cost.
 I wonder if we will be able to borrow the cost of daycare ? I mean many parents finance the college tuition for their children don't they ? The reason is simple economics. Will we be able to finance our ability to go to work ? That would seem like a strange arrangement now wouldn't it ? We have always financed the things we want but couldn't afford. Will we finance our ability to go to work because we want to feel satisfied or gratified in our occupation ? Isn't that why women, or men, choose to work outside the home ? Well, back in the day it was what was expected of a man, to provide for his family. That was his role. Conversely the women were the homemakers, that was their role. There were exceptions of course but there was a balance there.
 It is a difficult thing this balance. I certainly don't feel as though women should just stay home and be homemakers. Women are just as capable of doing any job as a man. That being said, there is the issue of necessity. Necessity is a subjective thing. It really is an individual choice. Should we condition our children to accept certain roles in life ? The real question is, can we ? As I said earlier the traditional roles were not always followed. To me however the thing was, expectations were taught. Goals are dependent upon expectations. If we do not teach expectations how can we know the goal ? In that lies the balance I think we may be missing today.
 Is childcare a necessity ? Of course it is, that is a no brainer. Should we be hiring people to do that job ? We should when it becomes a necessity for survival. Should we do it for  convenience or our own goals ? That is another question of balance. My thinking is you should be willing to make sacrifices for your children. It is just a part of the deal. Of course one could argue about finding happiness and fulfillment in life. How much of that depends upon the material things ? Again a balance. It comes down to, what exactly is it that we are teaching our children ? Seems to me we are teaching them to be successful. Success is dependent upon wealth, or disposable income at a minimum. That is what is expected. That expectation can only be satisfied by the acquisition of money or property. It may not be a conscious thing but I think that is what is being taught. That is the expectation being taught. So, their goals are connected to that. Goals are then associated with happiness.
 I have company this morning and a conversation is taking place that is distracting me. I hope at least some of this posting makes sense to you. I'm not sure if it does or not. It is my assigned time to write and post so I will continue. I am after all a creature of habit. As we all are.