Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

What's best

 There are times and situations in life when you feel your hand is forced. For me, those are the worst times. I prefer to make my moves slowly and carefully. I do have a tendency to react, more than act. There are advantages and disadvantages to that. By reacting I feel like I have more control, initiating any action is taking a risk. Having your hand forced is neither one of those actions. Then you are forced to make a move, unprepared and uninformed. It is troubling. I find myself in that situation this morning. I am compelled to act.
 I won't go into the details of this as it is a rather personal matter. I just find that writing my thoughts down helps to organize them. There are moments when I am surprised and have to reevaluate my thoughts. I wouldn't call it enlightenment but seeing things in a different light. Maybe that is how you are enLIGHTend. Enlightenment is a permanent thing isn't it ? I have the same issues over and over. But I digress here. I was talking about taking action. Heroes are made by forced actions. I don't have any first hand experience in the hero department but it seems like that is how it would happen. A hero is someone who reacts to a situation immediately because they have no other option. Something must be done. If you choose the correct response and are successful in alleviating the current situation you are hailed a hero. If you fail, you may be vilified. What is worse you may have to live with that failure for the rest of your days. There isn't anything much worse than that, second guessing your choices. That is probably why I choose to wait as long as possible to decide.
 The real issue lies in the feeling of responsibility. I am responsible for my actions even when those actions are forced. There are no excuses. I am responsible, solely and absolutely. That is a burden we all bear. Many would rationalize there choices to show no fault on their part. I can not dismiss things so easily. That isn't to say each wrong choice I make becomes a debilitating thing, but something I remember. Some actions carry a great deal more weight than others, that can't be denied. The action I am being forced to take this morning can have life changing implications. It is not a decision to be made on a whim. Am I prepared for this ? Probably not, as I don't see anyway one could be prepared. There are certain things we know to be inevitable but are always surprised by them. I suppose that is just human nature. We hold out hope as long as possible before facing truth, eventually convincing ourselves we have no other option but to accept that truth ! And still we hope some more. We hesitate. It has been said, he who hesitates is lost, but I don't agree with that. That is the risk I will take, a momentary pause before committing myself to an action.
 In the end we must decide. It is better to have "won " or to have played the game as intelligently as possible ? That is to say, making the informed, correct decisions on every move. Our lives are like that. The only thing to decide is what is " winning. " Is winning the act of having never disappointed those you love, or having taken all the appropriate actions ? The enigma is, neither is possible. All that is left is to do the best you can.