Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

through a different window

 I'm back from an unintended hiatus. I was away to visit my Mom and sister. The routine was of course different and there was no time for blogging. Well, the truth is I didn't have my computer, the one I am comfortable with, and so didn't post. It wasn't as traumatic a thing as I thought it might be. You can change, without it being terrible ! There really is no place like home and a return to the old familiar environs is welcomed. I missed my wife most of all. Even though I was with my sister and Mom it sure didn't feel like home. I needed my partner ! It was more like a vacation that you really didn't enjoy. I mean, I enjoyed the company I was keeping, but not the full experience if that makes any sense. I do know I will never want to retire to Florida. I don't have any desire to live there. When I get old and the cold bothers me even more than it does now, I'll just stay indoors ! And most likely, in Maryland. You can't rule anything out so I won't declare I'm never leaving Greensboro but I did discover that Greensboro is home ! That came as a bit of a surprise, a pleasant and comforting one. The reasons are many and few at the same time. Truly the reason for that can be condensed to a singularity, it is where my wife is. That is home.
 You know it is difficult to think of your Mom, or any parent or sibling for that matter as elderly. Now, I'm not saying my siblings are elderly, but Mom is. I was confronted with that reality. Strange how it something you know but need to experience first hand to fully understand and believe. Elderly folks are just young folks with a lot if experience. I do think their personality becomes more evident to those around them. I was shocked to realize that my own Mom is angry. That is the only way I can describe her attitude in life. She is an angry woman. I was reminded of the line from the movie Pretty Woman when he tells Julia Roberts he was in therapy for years to learn that he was angry with his father. I wish that I knew what Mom was " angry " about so I could help her with that emotion but I don't have a clue. I'm thinking that maybe it is just life, many of the elderly seem angry. Choices made that didn't turn out right or whatever but ones they are unwilling to let go of. At least that is my psychoanalysis.
 So I'm back. The morning news is buzzing in the background and I have my perked coffee. The regular routine. It is comforting and somewhat of a relief. The need to be charming and entertaining is far less at home than when visiting. The opposite should be true but that is something I will work on. Vacations can serve as reminders of that. We should devote more effort to being charming and entertaining to those we are closest too, at home. It is the appreciation thing and not taking things for granted. For the past week I was looking through a different window. It was a pleasant view. It did raise an awareness in me. The best view is not out the window but rather into our hearts. That is why John Howard Paine wrote those immortal words, There's no place like home. There are times when you only see that by looking through a different window.