Sunday, June 26, 2016

In polite conversation

 I sometimes wonder why it is so difficult for me to just remain silent. What I mean is, refrain from stating my opinions even when I know they will not be met with, shall we say, an open mind. I try my very best to state my opinions in the kindest way possible but the results are not always positive. Then, having done so, I wonder why I even bother with it at all. I certainly don't expect it to make a difference, people rarely change their point of view, or at least seldom admit to that. I understand that completely, I'm certainly no different than anyone else. I have been described as being a wee bit stubborn in my views. I say I'm just confident. But, whatever the case, I question why I have this need to explain my thinking all the time. I have reached a conclusion though, I can't stop doing it.
 I guess I'm just not much in the way of a yes man. I find it tedious and boring to operate in that fashion. Always agreeing and responding with nothing of substance. My parents used to ask me, you've got a mind of your own don't you ? That was in response to my offering the lame excuse, everyone else was doing it. Turns out, they are correct. I do have a mind of my own. I'm still doing things because everyone else is, Facebook for example, but find I sometimes go against the current. I have opinions and views that don't conform at times, and don't hesitate to express them. Yes, it bugs me when I am just dismissed. It bugs me even more when the door is slammed shut. I rarely get upset with polite discussion. I will talk about a subject until I turn " blue " in the face. Yes, I can be unrelenting.
 I have a theory about that as well. I believe the purpose of communication is to have you understand my thought. If you disagree with my thoughts it is because I didn't present it in a clear enough fashion for you to understand. I need to try again. The concept that my thought could be wrong rarely enters my thinking. Isn't that true with everyone ? I don't think anyone consciously says things they know to be incorrect. Why would they do that ? That is why I need to explain it to them, to make them understand my thought. Sometimes those thoughts are inflammatory, I recognize that, but that doesn't make them wrong.
 Well folks, the struggle is real. Trying to get others to understand your thoughts is a real challenge. That is simply because they do not share your experience. They have experiences of their own. Outcomes have been different for them even when we share situations. The things we speak of are very real to us, others are telling us stories. Isn't that also the truth ? Experience truly is the best teacher. Walk a mile in my shoes, is anther popular way of saying that. Truth is it doesn't matter how many miles I travel in your shoes, it is my perceptions that form my opinions. What I see as climbing a hill you see as a challenge. I think what I am trying to say here is a simple message I was told many years ago. Do not speak of politics or religion in polite conversation. Very sound advice and advice I fail to heed all too often. I will make an effort to change that. It is not going to be easy.  First I must determine if Facebook is polite conversation. What do you think ?

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