The ties may become tangled but never severed. This is what I have found so far in my family tree research. Names have changed due to marriage. Divorce and death separate indiscriminately. New bonds are formed and remain wrapped up in the old. Personal relationships may end but the connection remains. Isn't that what is discovered in DNA ? What those results may show can be staggering to some and a healing to others. It is like shining a light into the darkness and you can never be certain what you will see. I haven't had my DNA analyzed but have considered it. The cost is prohibitive for something of whimsy. That is what that testing would be for me, a whimsical trip into the past. I have no great secrets to unfold and have no fear of finding something unwanted. I know of my German ancestry and Swedish too. Yes, I'm a European, Norse, English hybrid ! An improvement upon the originals right ? Isn't that why we create hybrids ? We won't talk about the failures. But, that is not important. Discovering the past is just a matter of untangling the stories. The problem lies in that most do not want to tell the tale. We tend to present an edited version of our lives to others.
Is this editing a deception ? It certainly would seem so as you wish to misdirect the other person. The reasons for the deception may be to spare the other persons feelings, or to protect your own, but the deception remains. Is full disclosure always a necessity ? No, I do not believe it is. There are some things of so little importance that they may be disregarded. The only trouble lies in identifying what those discrepancies may be. What is of small importance to me may be crucial information to you. Even the ephemeral actions of a reckless youth may have lasting consequences. What was just a moment to you, impacted me deeply. Meaningless to you, of utmost importance to me. How can I know which is which ? That is the problem with editing. So now the case is made for full disclosure. The reality is I want to receive full disclosure but do not want to give it. That is to say, you tell me everything, but I'll only tell you what I want you to know. Isn't that the way we normally interact with one another ? That is human nature. There are some that are blatantly honest and forthcoming with even the most intimate of details about their lives, I find those folks a bit unsettling. Then there are those on the opposite end of the spectrum. Fortunately the majority fall somewhere in-between.
The offering of opinions and analysis is sometimes construed as gossip. Women are often accused of gossiping. Truth is, everyone does. A gossip is considered one that passes along information that is not verified as being fact. Opinions and analysis are not facts but conclusions. Our conclusions should be fact based that is true but what if the facts have been edited ? Does that then make our answers gossip ? I don't think it does. It just provides a different answer to the question. If that answer should prove to be of more use or comfort to others am I not then providing a service ? I am not gossiping. I am merely offering an opinion.
I do think that the measure of our lives lies in the editing. How much do you feel the need to edit your story ? It is only the " bad " choices that we wish to edit. The " good " things we brag about. That too, is human nature. None of us want to own our mistakes. We would prefer not to tell about those, unless it is a convenience to us that is. If there is something to be gained from the telling we will readily admit to our " bad " choices. In fact there are some that thrive off of that action even creating " situations " to increase their stories ! That is editing too, editorial license they call that. In my opinion it is getting to be quite the common practice these days.
My own story is quite the simple one. Nothing fantastic or extraordinary. Just the run of the mill type guy. I don't have a problem with that. Like everyone else I have had a few moments of fame. As long as you recognize them when they are presented to you they can be appreciated. I look back upon those moments whenever I feel " disadvantaged. " Now if I could rewrite the story I would make some changes. Anyone that says they wouldn't are being less than truthful, in my opinion. I would remove all the " mistakes " and everything would be rosy and bright. That doesn't mean I am not happy with where I am. I wouldn't change the whole story just alter the details a bit. That is why things do become tangled. An old saying pops to mind, " oh what a tangled web we weave ,when we first practice to deceive " That is so true in life and I may add, the telling of it.
Is this editing a deception ? It certainly would seem so as you wish to misdirect the other person. The reasons for the deception may be to spare the other persons feelings, or to protect your own, but the deception remains. Is full disclosure always a necessity ? No, I do not believe it is. There are some things of so little importance that they may be disregarded. The only trouble lies in identifying what those discrepancies may be. What is of small importance to me may be crucial information to you. Even the ephemeral actions of a reckless youth may have lasting consequences. What was just a moment to you, impacted me deeply. Meaningless to you, of utmost importance to me. How can I know which is which ? That is the problem with editing. So now the case is made for full disclosure. The reality is I want to receive full disclosure but do not want to give it. That is to say, you tell me everything, but I'll only tell you what I want you to know. Isn't that the way we normally interact with one another ? That is human nature. There are some that are blatantly honest and forthcoming with even the most intimate of details about their lives, I find those folks a bit unsettling. Then there are those on the opposite end of the spectrum. Fortunately the majority fall somewhere in-between.
The offering of opinions and analysis is sometimes construed as gossip. Women are often accused of gossiping. Truth is, everyone does. A gossip is considered one that passes along information that is not verified as being fact. Opinions and analysis are not facts but conclusions. Our conclusions should be fact based that is true but what if the facts have been edited ? Does that then make our answers gossip ? I don't think it does. It just provides a different answer to the question. If that answer should prove to be of more use or comfort to others am I not then providing a service ? I am not gossiping. I am merely offering an opinion.
I do think that the measure of our lives lies in the editing. How much do you feel the need to edit your story ? It is only the " bad " choices that we wish to edit. The " good " things we brag about. That too, is human nature. None of us want to own our mistakes. We would prefer not to tell about those, unless it is a convenience to us that is. If there is something to be gained from the telling we will readily admit to our " bad " choices. In fact there are some that thrive off of that action even creating " situations " to increase their stories ! That is editing too, editorial license they call that. In my opinion it is getting to be quite the common practice these days.
My own story is quite the simple one. Nothing fantastic or extraordinary. Just the run of the mill type guy. I don't have a problem with that. Like everyone else I have had a few moments of fame. As long as you recognize them when they are presented to you they can be appreciated. I look back upon those moments whenever I feel " disadvantaged. " Now if I could rewrite the story I would make some changes. Anyone that says they wouldn't are being less than truthful, in my opinion. I would remove all the " mistakes " and everything would be rosy and bright. That doesn't mean I am not happy with where I am. I wouldn't change the whole story just alter the details a bit. That is why things do become tangled. An old saying pops to mind, " oh what a tangled web we weave ,when we first practice to deceive " That is so true in life and I may add, the telling of it.
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