Sunday, July 12, 2015

What's the destination ?

 Being born on an island references to the sea and the bay have always been a part of my life. I grew up surrounded by the ways of the water and the men that worked it. I joined the Navy and have sailed the world. Did that for twenty years as a matter of fact. And then I dropped anchor here in greensboro along about 1989. There is the choptank river just down the street so I am not land locked but it would take a shallow draft vessel to navigate that river. The primary commerce around here is farming, something I know little about. A subject I can not relate to in any reasonable fashion. Not that I don't admire those that do that, quite the contrary, but I have no experience in that area.
 I was thinking about this as I read the letter from the social security office. I'm going to collect social security. I'm going to retire ? Doesn't seem real at times that I have reached that age. I admit there are days that I feel like I am way past that time as well. In thinking about that I was wondering what to " label " myself as. We all make some sort of claim. I think what I mean is, an identity. Just what is my identity ? Who am I and what is my place in the world ?
 I have heard it said that you are whatever you choose to be. I can see that on one level anyway but have difficulty in adopting that as a philosophy. I don't believe you get to choose at all but are a product of your environment. After childhood you may get to choose the environment but not your place within it. The best of the best is always genuine. Genuine means, the real thing, not an imitation. Why then should we all wish to adopt an identity that is recognized by others ? That is to say, an imitation. The need to belong to a group would have to be the answer. Those that exclude themselves from society are looked upon with suspicion. It is a bit of a quandary.The real issue lies with myself however, not with society. I must accept whatever position I find myself in. I can do that but I can't seem to identify just what that position is !
 In order to know your present position you would have to know your destination. I know where I started but not where I'm going. Could that be the issue ? All successful people have a goal, all the self help books will tell you that. How to measure success ? I can't see measuring it by wealth or education. Success should be measured by happiness. The question there is, whose happiness ? A successful citizen is one that contributes to that society. In general terms I see the society I live in as being a bit tumultuous. Am I contributing to that ? I certainly hope that isn't the case. I would much rather be the calming voice of reason, the old sage. The difficulty there is I have the fiery temperament of the rebel, the reactionary, but my age precludes that persona. I wind up looking like an old fool ! There is a fine line between the two, sage and fool.
 It has been quite a journey from my island. I have seen and done many things. Perhaps I spend too much time looking at where I've been and not enough looking at where I'm going. Could it be that I've reached that destination ? I don't think so, but, I am enjoying the scenery right where I am. I do feel an urge to lift anchor and sail on. I also think that may be the passion in my soul. It is not so much the destination, as the journey. Can we know where we are going ? We can only hope. 

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