Feelings, we all have them and sometimes they hurt. There are times when that happens for no apparent reason. Just out of the clear blue someone says something and your feelings are hurt. It can be a troubling thing if you allow yourself to dwell upon it. I try to understand the intent behind the words and move on. I have found that most of the time there was no harm intended. The truth is in a lot of the instances the person is just pointing out something we have been fooling ourselves about. Words can shatter a dream. Dreams are not always things to come but can be what we perceive right now. When that perception is altered, we are surprised and sometimes hurt. The fault lies not with the person speaking the words, but rather with ourselves. Being completely honest, even with ourselves, is no easy task. We all tend to rationalize certain things. Things like our weight, appearance, intelligence and popularity are at the forefront for misconception. That is a function of vanity. And vanity is a touchy thing.
Others will sometimes say these things because they lack empathy. That is especially true with children. Children do not have much of a storehouse of experience to draw upon. Empathy takes practice and awareness. Children tend to be self centered and that is a normal thing. It is during this time that they should be learning about the feelings of others. Learning to play together is one vehicle for that. I believe it does take human interaction, face to face, in person, to really begin to grasp that concept. It cannot be learned through social media or other electronic means. We learn empathy through experience and absorption. When we see, and are aware of the effects of our words, we begin to understand. We do need to guard against becoming complacent. Complacency causes hurt feelings.
Hurt feelings are something we just need to learn to live with. It does no good to point them out to others. That only causes them discomfort. Words spoken can never be retrieved. The best we have to offer is an apology. Apologies are normally hollow things at the moment. Fortunately if sincerely offered they do get substance over time. The time that takes is dependant upon our degree of hurt. Deep wounds take longer to heal.
Knowledge is a wonderful thing but feelings should be our guide. The feelings of others as well as our own feelings. We have an inherent sense of right and wrong. There are times when we allow our " knowledge " to influence our decisions and those decisions go contrary to our feelings. Sometimes we should go with our hearts. We have feelings for that very reason, it is feelings that line the soul. Our souls are part of the collective that is mankind. A part of the greater good. We need to be aware of that portion of our souls outside ourselves. That is empathy.
Others will sometimes say these things because they lack empathy. That is especially true with children. Children do not have much of a storehouse of experience to draw upon. Empathy takes practice and awareness. Children tend to be self centered and that is a normal thing. It is during this time that they should be learning about the feelings of others. Learning to play together is one vehicle for that. I believe it does take human interaction, face to face, in person, to really begin to grasp that concept. It cannot be learned through social media or other electronic means. We learn empathy through experience and absorption. When we see, and are aware of the effects of our words, we begin to understand. We do need to guard against becoming complacent. Complacency causes hurt feelings.
Hurt feelings are something we just need to learn to live with. It does no good to point them out to others. That only causes them discomfort. Words spoken can never be retrieved. The best we have to offer is an apology. Apologies are normally hollow things at the moment. Fortunately if sincerely offered they do get substance over time. The time that takes is dependant upon our degree of hurt. Deep wounds take longer to heal.
Knowledge is a wonderful thing but feelings should be our guide. The feelings of others as well as our own feelings. We have an inherent sense of right and wrong. There are times when we allow our " knowledge " to influence our decisions and those decisions go contrary to our feelings. Sometimes we should go with our hearts. We have feelings for that very reason, it is feelings that line the soul. Our souls are part of the collective that is mankind. A part of the greater good. We need to be aware of that portion of our souls outside ourselves. That is empathy.
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