replacing the past

  So, my granddaughter is over for a visit the other day. It was a few days after my grandsons wedding, and she had been one of the bridesmaids. I guess we still call them that, I didn't ask how they identified themselves. New pictures were available. I have to say everyone looked fantastic. Now my granddaughter had a picture that she really liked and asked me why I hadn't put it up yet. I told her I'm running out of wall space. She then informs me if I took down some of the pictures of those "old" people I would have room. The "old" people she is talking about are my parents, grandparents, and other ancestors. A great number of them are, of course, people that she never knew. Strangers to her. I suggested taking down pictures of her when she was younger, but she didn't think that was a good idea. 

 I got to thinking about that after her visit. I am one that has lots of photographs spread throughout the house. I had a corner of the living room wall filled with pictures at one time. I took them down when painting and I haven't put them all back yet. Still, I do have an inordinate number of pictures of people, I wouldn't call them portraits, that seems too formal a term, on almost every wall, tabletop and shelve in my house. The kitchen is the only room lacking in that regard, although the refrigerator door has a number of them as well. I don't want to take any of them down or replace them with new. It is something I struggle with and debate all the time. When I get a new picture, I have to think about which one do I want to cover up? In a number of the frames there are four of five photographs one atop the other. They are there waiting to be revisited. I often forget that they are even there and rediscover them when putting a new picture in there. I have a picture that my sister discovered in that fashion. It is a picture of a bride, unidentified on the picture, that she found behind a picture of our dad. It's my belief that it is Grandmother Clara, but I have no way to confirm that as all those that would know are long gone. It's a picture of an "old" person. 

 I have always done my best to tell the grandkids, and anyone else that will listen, who all the old people are. I've written stories about them, extolled others to write the names on the back of the photographs, explain who that person or persons are. I even tried to explain to my granddaughter that those old people will one day be her! When we are around, we say those are pictures of us when we were young. We may complain to our parents and grandparents about them, be embarrassed to have others see them. But after we are gone, they will all become just pictures of some old people. They may be stored away somewhere or simply discarded. Oh, I'm certain a few will be saved tucked away in a genealogy program or scrapbook perhaps. It's my thinking that scrapbooks will become something of the past although I am encouraged when I see all the postings about those creating scrapbooks as a hobby these days. Scrapping they call lt. Makes me a bit sad when I think about that though. Scraps are just pieces that have been left, usually discarded and insignificant. I don't want my life to become a scrap. But I guess it will be one day, whatever is left. 

 I do enjoy keeping my memories about me. I'm a bit old fashioned in that way. I'm not concerned with having the latest thing, the latest designs in home fashion and decor. The pictures on my walls tell a story. I remember this or that, back when. I'm fortunate that I have some items that where in my home when I was growing up, things that have been with me my whole life. Old stuff and old people. I'm reminded that I'm old people too. I can't say when this penchant for old photographs and old artifacts began. I'm thinking it may have begun when I turned forty. That was a year that hit me pretty hard. The mid-life crisis thing, I guess. I had retired from the Navy by then and working for the town of Ridgeley. I wasn't in a position of authority anymore, a change for certain. I also remember going for a haircut and the barber, which was a woman, asking me if I wanted my eyebrows trimmed. I knew I was getting old at that very moment. I'm thinking that may be where it all began. 

 And now I'm thinking it may be time to drag out some old photographs from my younger years. Photographs from the 1900's. Yes, the 1900's. Memories from a century past. I don't have many pictures like that around at all. Like when I was younger, I didn't want those pictures about, they are embarrassing. I'm thinking I'm over that and they would be a source of conversation and of laughter these days. It's good when you can laugh about the past, just remember the good times and laugh about the bad. The vast majority of photographs we have are of the good times, seldom are the bad photographed. The Victorians explored that by taking pictures of their deceased relatives! I was told that my Great Uncle Fred did just that, taking a photograph of his sister after her passing. I don't know whatever happened to that picture but I'm just as glad I don't have that. But if I start doing that, I will have to take down some of those "old" people my granddaughter mentioned. And that is how we get replaced over time. I'm certain not one of those old people would agree to that, to being replaced, we all want to be remembered. I just can't bring myself to do that yet. I'm not ready to replace the past.