How or why

 Some days I just stop and look around. This is one of those days. I don't have any particular thought on my mind. It's one of those days where I feel like I have said everything I have to say. At the same time, I know that isn't true, I will continue to write and express my opinions. I guess this is what some would call a mental health day. I'm amused by statements like that, yeah, some days are better than others. It doesn't mean I'm suffering from anything other than being alive, if that is suffering. Take heart though, I'm a survivor. Empowerment is a big thing these days. Feeling empowered. Okay, if you say so but that usually just means you got your way. I remember that from my childhood, always was great when I got my way. Thing is there were enough days I didn't, that I learned to live with that as well. Good training for becoming a married man. Yes dear. It was a lesson in freedom. Freedom doesn't mean you get to do whatever you want; you just get the choice of what to do first. May or may not be what you want.

 Next month I will reach seventy. That seems like a big mile marker to me. It's a lot of years. But I'm grateful enough to have made it this far and the hope is to reach that milestone. I know better than to take that for granted though. I've lost too many that were close to me to believe otherwise. Since I've been on Facebook and reconnected with old friends and classmates and made new friends as well, I've become even more aware of that. The world outside my own isn't that different. And that is what Facebook is to me, another world and one I escape to on occasion. I think that is why some get addicted to social media. I know I've had to get up and walk away from that myself, especially in the winter months. I haven't decided what I'm going to do today. I've got a few projects in mind, so it all depends on what I feel like. I do enjoy that freedom. Well, unless someone else has plans that is. 

 Yesterday was Father's Day. I got a phone call from my son in New York and had dinner with my other son. It's always nice to be remembered and thought of. I have to say they never forget, and I feel the love every day. I say my kids are my gift and so I don't want anything else on Father's Day. My grandkids messaged, as the kids of today are prone to do, and extended wishes as well. My grandson just got married and that gives one some perspective. I was remembering when my sons got married. I was remembering all the years gone by and the celebrations. I was thinking about the cards and drawings I was given by them and by their kids. Then I thought the sincerest words I have ever read were written in crayon. I think that is something only grandparents will understand. In today's world those words may be in marker, but the sentiment will be the same. Perhaps those words will simply be a text message saved to your phone. 

 So, this morning I'm just looking around a bit. I've got a lot to be thankful for. I can also give myself a little credit for that. I guess I was listening to my father after all. He told me many of the things I learned for myself later on. I guess that is how that works. That's what being a father is all about. Then if you are fortunate, you become a grandfather and begin to understand. Yes, it is nice to be grand! I can't wait to be great! Guess that is why I have to stop and look around every now and again, pinch myself to be sure it's real. Just how did I get here? It's a change from, why did I go into the kitchen? How or why? Which answer is the more important? Which is the more important? That's something to think about.