lessons lost

  We have all heard the story of clothes make the Man. There is a great deal of truth in that tale, truth about human nature. I was thinking about it as I was working on a slide show. I had been given a collection of slides taken by my wife's Uncle George. Judging by the cars and clothes I'd say the majority were taken in the late fifties and into the sixties. Now Uncle George was a member of the greatest generation having served in WW2. It was his parents and their friends in those photographs that caught my attention. Pictures of them visiting a floral park especially. I don't know a lot about this park other than it was called Sherwood Gardens, that was the label on the slides. There are many shots of the flower gardens, trees and bushes with manicured lawns and footpaths. It is obviously a bright summer day, and the men are all wearing suits, the ladies in their finest dresses strolling alongside. One can imagine a genteel scene of polite company and polite conversation. Of course, there isn't a cell phone in sight! The people are actually looking at each other and conversing with one another. No fact checking going on, no but Google says this. Just people dressed for the occasion, visiting the park, and enjoying the scenery.

 In other pictures I have these same folks playing cards at the kitchen table. They are all still wearing their suits and the ladies dressed in their finest. There are pictures of the children dressed for the holidays, especially Easter, everyone dressed to the nines as we used to say. It all looks so very formal through today's lens, but I remember when that was the normal thing. It was that way at my house growing up as well. It was a time when you dressed for the day or the occasion. That occasion may be going to the grocery store. You did dress for that differently than being dressed to work in the house. When I was younger, I remember my mom wearing an apron. That changed when mom began wearing slacks! Yes, mom was on the cutting edge of fashion in that regard, she began wearing slacks instead of dresses. I especially remember her having a pair of what she called Matador pants, today they are called capris I believe, also known to me as clam diggers. You didn't wear an apron with those. My father changed his clothes before going out to social functions of any kind, even a bar-b-cue. 

 But as time has gone by, we have adopted a far more casual approach to all of that. The manner of dress today has also changed public attitude. It is the clothes make the man syndrome. People are far more likely to be aggressive in the manner of speech, and action, than they were in the past. I encounter that every day. 

 What lies behind that? I would say a bit of selfishness is the root cause. We all just want to be comfortable. Wearing a suit and tie, dress shoes, your "good" clothes was inhibiting. Sometimes uncomfortable and restrictive. Not to mention it took effort to maintain your appearance. Back in those days you did have to press your clothing in order for it to look good. The washing and care of your clothing was a chore. Certainly, today it is a lot simpler, but we don't want to be bothered by any of that. Today it is, come as you are. And that, that is a part of the problem. In years past at least we made an effort to present ourselves as civil. I do remember my mom laughing when clothes were first advertised as permanent press. She still ironed them, every single piece. You had to be presentable. I would hear, you aren't going out of the house looking like that! It was a reflection on your person and your family! Don't go out looking like some bum. When company was coming you changed your clothes. Company was anyone that wasn't your immediate family. Sometimes you might get caught off guard, but you had excuses ready for that. I was just cleaning the basement or working in the yard. Sometimes you just pretended you weren't home.

 When I was young, I would be made to get dressed. I didn't like it much; I think most kids are like that, but it did change my attitude. I did feel a little more grown up, a bit more adult. At least I was forced to act that way. No crawling around in the dirt, rough housing or yelling. I was expected to act like a gentleman. It was the clothes make the man syndrome. When I was in the Jr. Choir at church and put on those robes, I felt different. Later when I became an acolyte in that church and wore vestments, I felt different. It worked that way when you put on your suit. Even today when dressed for an occasion it does change my demeanor. That was the purpose of all that. It was an outward display of respect towards others. That's who you did that for. That was the lesson. Today the lesson is different. Today it is, this is the way I am, take it or leave it! I'm not making an effort to do anything. And the underlining message in that is, I'm entitled. You have to respect me no matter what I do! It's all about me.