in a state

  It's been said if you cover the grey, you will take twenty years off your age. That's depressing, I'd still be near fifty! That's a half century, old by any standard except light years! Age is just a number, right? Yeah, that's what we seniors say about that. It's a big number though. That's why there is an entire industry selling products to slow the aging process or attempting to deceive us into believing that. Ever notice how that usually involves taking some blue pills or getting something lifted or "enhanced?" Yes, because that is youth. Now being a senior, and having sophisticated tastes, wine is the alcohol of choice. Drank wine when we were young for a totally different reason, it was cheap! We were more utilitarian in our youth, just interested in getting the job done. Now we pay a whole lot more for the esthetics of drinking wine and scowl at the screw tops! Hey, we're grown up.

  It's a funny thing though, how those our own age usually look older than ourselves. Well, except when we are looking in a mirror that is. Still, you see photographs of those you went to school with and wonder, what happened to them? Sometimes you don't even recognize them. You know that you still look the same, except for some grey hair and a few extra pounds. Still anyone seeing your picture would instantly recognize you. Strange how that is. In our minds that person should look like they did fifty years ago, and it can be a surprise when they don't. I guess when it comes to us it is true, you can get used to anything. Time is a subtle thing even as we count it. Just sneaks up on us while in plain sight. How does that happen?

 The thing is this, if I had the body of an eighteen year old but the experience of someone who is almost seventy, eighteen wouldn't be fun. I'm not doing all that again! Oh, it's a lot of fun to talk about, to remember and reminiscence, but that is what got me where I am now. It wasn't all fun and games, it exacted a toll. I certainly wouldn't want to go out clubbing. A room full of drunk people isn't all that much fun, it can be downright annoying. Youthful hormones raging, fueled by alcohol and drugs can lead to some sticky and awkward situations. Not to mention the day after. It doesn't feel good. No youth isn't really that appealing when you think about it. Fact is, that is why we were trying to grow up. Some of us have, some are questionable, and some never learn.

 Age, I've also heard said, is a state of mind. There are more than a few days my body would disagree. My body is definitely in a different state altogether. Remember those mornings when you said, I'm never doing that again. I had my share of those when the body was speaking instead of the mind. Wasn't thinking at all, no need for that, thinking just hurt! Today the thinking doesn't hurt so much but my body does, before all the fun. But I'm told to embrace the journey. There are even drugs to help with that, most notably opioids and prevergen! The first to mask the pain and the second to help you remember why you have that pain in the first place! You alter your state of mind. The reality is this, you are altered! You are older and it shows! That journey wasn't a vacation. You have gotten where you are on your journey, but it has come at a cost. Best thing is to be thankful you have been able to pay that price, it's too late to look for a bargain. 

 When it comes to appearance, attempting to look younger or whatever, you only have to fool one person, yourself. It's a lot easier to do if you only look at others. It's the others that have gotten older and it shows. Avoid mirrors whenever possible and try to ignore your body, it always was a kill joy! Age is a state of mind. You do have to decide what age you want though. We can't know how far into the journey we are, but we can decide where to linger. Draw upon the experience you have gained in making that choice.