I've survived ebola, swine flu, and Y2K. I've been exposed to asbestos. I used to smoke three packs of cigarettes a day. I've drank more alcohol that any liver should have to process. I 've ridden in cars without seatbelts and on bicycles without helmets. I've been in an active war zone. I've had a heart attack and cancer. But now Coronavirus is going to do me in! That's what the news keeps telling me anyway. And what's more I'm doubly at risk because I'm elderly! Yes, I'm over sixty which is elderly when it comes to getting an illness, but not for other things. you know, certain entitlements, not old enough for that stuff. But my point is simply, the news keeps telling me I'm old. Well that and almost every advertisement on television. I need supplements, mobility aids, memory boosting drugs, and help using any technology! That's not to mention should I be single, divorced or widowed and looking for company. I see these ads for My Time, a dating site for seniors! I'm wondering whose time I have been using? If I get a date I hope they send reminders. I'm betting they will share that information with Frank Thomas so I can get total T, because she'll like it too! We won't even mention the " V " word. But it does come with warnings for old people.
Well I'll just do as I have always done, the best I can. I'm not carrying around bottles of hand sanitizer, wearing a face mask, and avoiding people. Truth is I avoid some people anyway because they annoy me. I figure its' gotten me this far. But I do get annoyed with the way the media portrays us seniors. On television ads this is especially evident. I'm 65 and on social security, what's my price? Why does the person look like they are a hundred? Why do they seem confused? Yeah, I've noticed that. I've fallen and I get up! I don't care how old you are if you fall and break your hip, you're not getting up. This phone comes with bigger numbers! I've worn glasses since the third grade, still do, and can still see the numbers! No, I don't have my glasses on a lanyard hanging around my neck, I keep them on my face. And you know what, I don't need a scooter or a step in bathtub!
One thing I do know for certain. If I live long enough, I'm going to die. Yup, it's going to happen some day. Strangely I'm betting they won't say it was from old age. No, most likely it'll be a heart attack, cancer, organ failure, an accident of some kind. My wife's Uncle George was ninety when he fell down the stairs. He passed away from blunt force trauma, not old age. Does anyone die of old age anymore? No, but old age is used as an excuse. And now the advertisers would have me believe I'm old at 50 if you want a date, if I'm over sixty I had better get insurance for those final expenses! The instruction is clear enough, I don't care if you are dead, you will pay for it! Not fair for someone else to have to pay for that. Of course while you are alive you should be giving to every cause and charity there is, but that's different, you're young! Now as far as the cost of that insurance goes it's the same price at sixty as it is at eighty! I'm thinking I'll just wait awhile. Coronavirus? I'm not getting overly concerned about that. I did survive the Mayan apocalypse. On here on Super Tuesday is a good day to remind everyone of this simple fact. People older than 65 are the most likely demographic to vote in elections! Yup, it's us old people that do that. We still got the power baby!
Well I'll just do as I have always done, the best I can. I'm not carrying around bottles of hand sanitizer, wearing a face mask, and avoiding people. Truth is I avoid some people anyway because they annoy me. I figure its' gotten me this far. But I do get annoyed with the way the media portrays us seniors. On television ads this is especially evident. I'm 65 and on social security, what's my price? Why does the person look like they are a hundred? Why do they seem confused? Yeah, I've noticed that. I've fallen and I get up! I don't care how old you are if you fall and break your hip, you're not getting up. This phone comes with bigger numbers! I've worn glasses since the third grade, still do, and can still see the numbers! No, I don't have my glasses on a lanyard hanging around my neck, I keep them on my face. And you know what, I don't need a scooter or a step in bathtub!
One thing I do know for certain. If I live long enough, I'm going to die. Yup, it's going to happen some day. Strangely I'm betting they won't say it was from old age. No, most likely it'll be a heart attack, cancer, organ failure, an accident of some kind. My wife's Uncle George was ninety when he fell down the stairs. He passed away from blunt force trauma, not old age. Does anyone die of old age anymore? No, but old age is used as an excuse. And now the advertisers would have me believe I'm old at 50 if you want a date, if I'm over sixty I had better get insurance for those final expenses! The instruction is clear enough, I don't care if you are dead, you will pay for it! Not fair for someone else to have to pay for that. Of course while you are alive you should be giving to every cause and charity there is, but that's different, you're young! Now as far as the cost of that insurance goes it's the same price at sixty as it is at eighty! I'm thinking I'll just wait awhile. Coronavirus? I'm not getting overly concerned about that. I did survive the Mayan apocalypse. On here on Super Tuesday is a good day to remind everyone of this simple fact. People older than 65 are the most likely demographic to vote in elections! Yup, it's us old people that do that. We still got the power baby!
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