Hunkered down

 I try to listen to the news but find it increasingly difficult. I'm not hearing much in the way of reassurance. It's all gloom and doom. Any mention of a good thing is being presented as an aside. Now I'm not saying the news should hold any information back or downplay the seriousness of this pandemic but I do believe they should offer some hope. I'm not hearing that at all. At least two ministers have been arrested for unlawful assembly. Consider that if you will, unlawful assembly for a religious service. I understand the vast majority of people understand and accept this as a necessary and reasonable precaution to take. That action should be alarming to everyone. The first amendment to the Constitution is being overridden. Why? Because the government has declared a state of emergency and therefore certain " martial " powers can be freely exercised. The question to be answered here is, was this pandemic a completely unexpected and random mutation of a virus or did something get out of hand? I can't bring myself to believe that anyone or any group would bring themselves to unleash this intentionally. Of course the German people didn't believe Hitler and his supporters would be capable of doing what they did. That political party was called The National Socialist German Workers Party. They gained power through promises of prosperity for everyone!  
 It hasn't escaped my notice that the liquor stores and marijuana dispensaries are considered essential businesses. I have to question just why that should be so? Is it as simple as we need to keep the economy moving as best we can. Government is well aware that people will spend their money for booze and dope, pandemic be damned! They couldn't formulate a valid reason for the Casinos however. Ten people at a time isn't going to cut it there. But the government has decided that church services, in the building with your Pastor is not an essential thing. Not even if limited to ten worshippers at a time. No, lock the doors! Martial law has arrived but you won't hear that from government, not yet. There has to be more mass hysteria, more civil unrest, before it will become apparent to everyone. The media is doing their best to bring that about in my opinion. They certainly have made all the sheep nervous.
 Well all I can do is hunker down and wait. This will pass and things return to a new normal. I'm hoping the new normal doesn't include martial law. I get it, the United States isn't alone in this, not at all. This a global thing. The United States is at the heart of the global economy however. Control the economy and you control the people. You want to eat? No matter how this pandemic began I believe it is being used to advantage by a certain political faction. When it comes to money and power there are those that have no moral or ethical compass whatsoever. That has been shown time and again throughout history. How much will be allowed? Get scared enough and you will begin to give up everything and anything, you will be compliant. And that is what those people want, compliance. It's a scary time. I still believe we will come through this alright, I can't allow myself to believe otherwise. 

absolutely

 There are times when I, or someone else posts something that makes others uncomfortable. The discomfort stemming from the truth. I think Bill Moyer expressed that best when he said: " We seem to prefer a comfortable lie to the uncomfortable truth. We punish those who point out reality and reward those who provide us with the comfort of illusion. Reality is fearsome but experience tells us that more fearsome yet is evading it. " I couldn't agree more. I am often derided for telling the truth and that truth is denied by others but that doesn't change reality. As we say, it is what it is. The truth can be uncomfortable that much is certain. Another gentleman pointed out that, " the only time you are actually growing is when you are uncomfortable. " I can certainly understand the truth in that statement. Think growing pains for the mind. We need to examine our beliefs closely to know what we believe. Often what we agree with is not necessarily the truth, but rather, what we are comfortable believing. The reasons for that are many.
 Recently I found myself uncomfortable with the closing of the church doors. It is because it strikes at the heart of faith. It is uncomfortable. Reality tells me that we should do so, to protect ourselves and others from spreading this virus. Still, at the heart of it you do have to ask yourself how absolute is your faith that God will protect you? And it is in that I find an incongruency. I've had this explained by some saying, God gave us a brain to use and we should use it. In fact, if we don't we are actually going against his will. I'm aware of the Biblical story of Jesus being tempted by Satan and the lesson was, you should not test God. That's certainly pragmatic advice. If one is to believe that every word written in the Bible is the word of God you would have to heed that advice. Fact is doing otherwise would be displeasing to God. So is that how we reconcile reality and faith?
 Faith requires no validation, no proof of any kind. Yet in the Bible story when the disciples were in that boat during a storm Jesus admonished them saying, Oh Ye of Little Faith, after he spoke and the storm subsided. Did he not provide proof of his divinity? Did he not also speak to Thomas showing him the holes in hands and the wound in his side as proof that it was he? But that wasn't testing God was it. No, that was teaching a lesson. And what is the lesson to be learned? Have faith. trust in God. But is our trust supposed to be limited by reason? Indeed do we trust only as long as it is safe to do so? That is the uncomfortable reality.
 Now I'm not saying what is right or wrong. I'm just saying these are my thoughts on this particular subject. There is nothing wrong with questioning. No growth can take place without that. Just as T. Eker said, the only time you are growing is when you are uncomfortable. Growth isn't changing your mind, growth is gaining understanding. Peace of mind can only be achieved through understanding, through an acceptance of truth. Each of us have our own truth which we must reconcile with reality. Faith can be that vehicle but then that faith would have to be absolute. Absolute truth? Is there such a thing? Can absolute faith and absolute truth co-exist? Something to think about.  

it depends

 In all of this pandemic there has been much talk and finger pointing. There are those that have aligned themselves with the extremes. This is either a pandemic that will kill thousands of people and destroy the world economy or it's a virus to avoid using common sense measures. The first big effect we all witnessed was the lack of toilet paper! Yes, think about that for just a moment if you will. We heard about this Chinese Virus that began in China. Mostly we heard it called the Corona virus. Then there was a rush to buy toilet paper. Panic buying followed and the shelves became bare. Hand sanitizer was virtually unavailable, who would have dreamt that? The finger pointing began. It was the wealthy folks that were buying everything up leaving the working man defenseless against this virus. Now we are hearing about the lack of medical supplies, equipment and hospital beds. Many are demanding to know why we don't have these things. Why doesn't New York have 40,000 ventilators ready for use? Why don't we have hundreds of hospital beds standing by, just in case. Why isn't there millions of N-95 masks available? How many even knew what an N-95 mask was before this? But all of these things should have been stockpiled and ready for immediate distribution. And you know whose fault it is? It's the government. That's right, it's the government. If only we had a different President this wouldn't have happened. Well it did happen with the last President but the government didn't respond in this fashion at all. Oh, it was a pandemic alright it's just the government didn't bother to tell us.
 But with all of this I was just thinking about exceptions and entitlements. How do we define that in this situation? What about those that rushed out and bought huge quantities of supplies because they had the money to do so? Are they exceptions or entitled? What I mean is, because of their financial status are they exceptions to the rule? That is to say are they excepted from exercising compassionate judgement and leaving items for others? Or by virtue of their wealth are they entitled to buy as much as they want? What if the situation were reversed. Say you had the money and you felt this was necessary to protect and ensure yourself and your family you're going to be alright would you only buy a few items thinking of others? You can either get in the lifeboat or leave the seat empty for someone else, someone you don't know at all, what do you do? Is someone else entitled to that seat? Or is that unknown person granted an exception? Exceptions are granted by the entitled aren't they?
 You know there is a fine line between righteousness and bullying.  I'd suggest an even finer line exists between exceptions and entitlements. How are they obtained? Do entitlements award you exceptions or are exceptions granted by those otherwise entitled?  I know, it's not fair. Life isn't fair and we all have to learn to accept that. Now this virus is 100% fair, it doesn't care how much money, staus or position you have. This virus, same as those in the past will attack anyone. We are all equal in that regard. There are no exceptions to the rule. No one is seeking an entitlement to this. Guess that's the difference. When we understand there are no exceptions we don't seek entitlements. Entitlements are the exceptions.  So just what are we entitled too? An exception? Do we earn those or are they granted? Seems like it is both! Just depends doesn't it?  

waiting

 Yesterday was my daughter in laws birthday. She had plans to celebrate, it being her 40th, but those plans, of course, were canceled. She also had a cruise canceled just a few weeks back. So, no spa day, no going to the melting pot, and no cruise. She just gets to continue going to work. Yes, you could say that's a good thing, something to be thankful for, she is an essential worker. Not being one that stays at home  a lot anyway I'm thinking she is grateful to go to work, We have had a few good days weather wise but it is early in the year for yard work. She wouldn't enjoy being in quarantine at all. I'm certain there are many who had birthday celebrations canceled, plans changed. In the big picture it is a little thing, a minor inconvenience. 

 In an effort to brighten her day the wife and I decided to cook her some dinner on the grill. The weather was warm and we fired that grill up. It was ready for her when she got in from work. We were not there having socially distanced ourselves. It's not that we are so concerned, it's that they are. By they I mean my son, his wife and grandchildren worried about us " old " people. It's true that they come into contact with far more people than we do during the course of the day. That was true even before this virus arrived. A Facebook posting from her saying that she enjoyed the meal and was made to feel special is all we needed anyway. This is an unusual time, a strange time really. We have never experienced anything like this in the past. Businesses closed and the government telling us to stay at home. Never did I expect to hear that in America, maybe some socialist or communist country, but in America? Turns out a virus doesn't give a hoot about politics. They are equal opportunity! 

 I've mentioned this before and I will repeat it here. I still believe there is something more to this than is being told. World governments are keeping a secret of some type. Perhaps it is for the best. I do believe there are some things that are just none of your business. If there is nothing you could do with this knowledge, in a constructive sense, you probably don't need to know. If the knowledge being withheld is causing you no injury do you need to know? Probably not. Yes we all think we have an absolute right to know everything, it's a natural thing to feel that way. Still there are times and things that we just don't need to know. When knowing that would do nothing but make the situation worse, more volatile or dangerous. you don't need to know. When we elect our officials we choose them to make decisions. True, those decisions are supposed to align with our wants, needs and wishes. But they are entrusted with certain powers as well. Among those powers is to act in a manner consistent with good judgement. They are expected to display good judgement. It is possible that good judgement dictate certain knowledge be withheld. Indeed isn't that a portion of the allure of leadership. having that inside knowledge. Yes, it's a good thing when you have it, just not when someone else does. I won't lose any sleep over any of that. I'm just leaving it at that, there is more to this than we are being told. 

 I can't speak for anyone else but I haven't missed any sport or entertainment figures. I hear some celebrities are live streaming concerts and such from their homes. Well that's nice of them. I'm guessing if your livelihood  depends upon staying public that is important. Don't take that wrong, I think it is very nice of them to do so. The public in general are quite fickle. You can easily be forgotten. I'm hoping this serves as a bit of a reset. Perhaps more people will come to realize just how nice we have it in America. This could shift perspective a bit. Sadly though I don't think it will. As soon as possible we will return to business as usual. When this passes we will all be " survivors. " There will be tee shirt sales and toilet paper jokes. The results of the November election will be the next big thing in my estimation. There will be a pandemic of emotions! We'll just have to wait and see. 

lessons learned

 I haven't posted in two days because my computer wasn't working. I have other devices but typing on them is just too challenging compared to this standard keyboard. The truth is typing is a challenge for me . I'm still at the hunt and peck level. I prefer to call it the sight method. I type the letter or character when I see it. I hadn't given it any thought but the last time I didn't post two days in a row was two years ago. Two years ago I had a heart attack and was in the hospital. This time it was the computer. I was heartened to hear that some people asked about my whereabouts and missed reading my posting. I get it, habits good and bad are easily developed. I did miss writing and posting as it has become a habit. But, I have my old trusty keyboard and computer up and running again. Now I'm finding it difficult to start again.
 All the news is of course centered around this Chinese virus. Now I've noticed that it has been shortened to just Covid. I'm beginning to hear that frequently. It is something I've noticed over the last few years, this changing of nomenclature to fit various scenarios and sensibilities. This started out as Chinese virus, became the Corona virus, shifted to Covid-19 and now just Covid.  To me the same concept as changing abortions to women's health care and semi-automatic rifles to assault weapons. Just depends on how you want to present the topic. The discussion has shifted somewhat from  a bail out, to a stimulus package. Same action but stimulus sounds much better. Either way it will increase the national debt substantially. Not saying it isn't necessary, just pointing out a fact. Anxiety over the practical matters of living are increasing, no doubt about that. I also offer no solution to that. I hear the claims for unemployment are almost overwhelming the system. That isn't any surprise to me. When you close all but essential businesses that's to be expected. I listened as they talked about the numbers being so much greater than they were in 1930 during the great depression. I thought, well duh, no kidding. The population is higher now and there are many more women in the workforce. In 1930 not many women would qualify for unemployment so I'd say the numbers today would certainly be higher. In 1930 one person could work and support a family, that ain't happening much today. Not with all the stuff we consider essential today. Takes at least two people , working full time, to fill those needs. You know in 1930 you didn't have a cable bill, a phone bill, car insurance, credit card payments, internet costs, and a slew of other " essential " things we have today. Simple things like having a closet full of clothes and four or five pair of shoes weren't very common. Eating out? Maybe once every few months if you were doing well. Drive up windows for fast food? These are the things we all expect to have today. Essential? Well that all depends doesn't it?
 We will get through this and things will return to normal after a while. I hear much talk already of lessons learned. Thing is we tend to forget those lessons when times are good again. Consider 9/11, you know, we will never forget. Well you don't have to look far to realize we have indeed forgotten, forgotten a lot. Why have we forgotten? Well it's been 19 years. We have a whole generation that has only read about that in the history books. And today we record history a bit differently than we did in the past. I grew up with the knowledge that it was the Japanese that attacked Pearl Harbor, on a Sunday morning, and bombed the place killing thousands. Ask kids today about the 9/11 attacks. most will say some airplane crashed into the world trade center. Most won't know about the pentagon or the one in Pennsylvania. Many won't be able to tell you who was piloting those planes, who was responsible. We don't teach that part. All we hear is, we will never forget about 9/11. A great number can't even tell you the year that took place. And that's because we don't teach history anymore, we try to teach lessons. Those lessons are the ideal situation but we shouldn't teach who was responsible for those injustices of the past. Well only when that proves of benefit to us currently. If we can obtain some monetary gain or increased entitlements, benefits or social standing. In those situations it is alright to point the finger of blame, in all other cases, it's just being racist and prejudicial
 So what lesson have we learned from this pandemic so far? That we didn't have a sufficient stockpile of ventilators or N-95 masks? That we should practice social distancing when we have an infectious virus? Is it that we should wash our hands, for at least twenty seconds, and not touch our face? Just what are the lessons? Or is it simply that we should stock up om toilet paper before a pandemic, you know, be prepared. No this will pass, so will social distancing, self quarantining and all this hand sanitizing. It'll be business as usual fairly soon. The thing that will change is the response to anything similar to this in the future. We will enter into the " response " mode earlier. I wanted to say panic because that's what came to mind, but it won't be panic, it'll be called the standard response procedures. Shelter in place, wash your hands, wear your N-95 mask and practice social distancing. Yeah I practiced hiding under my school desk in case of a nuclear attack from those pesky Russians. I had a neighbor building a bomb shelter, strangely he didn't have a stockpile of toilet paper, just canned goods and water. Guess we have learned one thing, in case of bombs or pandemics, we need toilet paper. Oh, and liquor stores, are essential businesses. 

It's essential

 The news is of course focused on this Chinese virus. Yes you can call it COVID 19 if you want to use the technical term, but it's the Chinese virus as far as I'm concerned. The President has been holding press conferences every day that lasts for an hour or more. All the experts explaining everything as best as they can. I haven't heard anything about any shootings in the city, has that all stopped? Fact is, I haven't heard much about anything else. In Maryland we are not being told to shelter in place, Governor Hogan placing emphasis on that, but as of yesterday evening at 5 O'clock only essential businesses may remain open. Sounds reasonable enough but I do question Liquor stores being an essential business. That's correct, liquor stores are considered essential businesses. I wonder if we had those Marijuana dispensaries if they would be considered essential as well? Whatever the case. in Maryland we are not ordered to stay at home but it is highly suggested.
 So among the numerous stories about the virus was one about anxiety. There was an expert talking about people suffering from anxiety during this time of isolation. Yes, beyond the anxiety people may be feeling because of the threat of catching this virus people are becoming anxious due to isolation. This expert was recommending getting out of doors. That's right, get outdoors, work in your yard, go somewhere, but don't get close to other people. Practice social distancing. Basically this expert was talking about cabin fever. I'm sorry but I had to laugh about that. Cabin fever, really? I guess that's why the liquor store is an essential business. Of course I question how wise a decision that really is. Let's see, confine people to their homes, allow them to purchase alcohol, no going to work, no going to the club, just sit at home and drink. Hmm, sounds like a dangerous mix to me. Talk about anxiety! I don't know. But to have experts reporting on this anxiety ( cabin fever ) this early on in this situation says something to me. I'd say we have a bunch of emotional cripples on our hands. People that require a distraction to keep their sanity? Sounds that way to me. We literally have an entire library at our fingertips and we are bored? We can go on You tube and watch videos on virtually any subject you can imagine, and you are bored. There are streaming services to provide unlimited entertainment in every genre, and you are bored. You are suffering from anxiety.
 I just fail to see how anyone with an internet connection can consider themselves isolated. I understand that not everyone does, especially the older folks. I also expect the older folks aren't bothered by that at all. I'm quite certain those folks know how to entertain themselves. I do enjoy the internet and all it offers but could certainly get by without it. Would I want to? No, I admit I would not. But I have spent a great deal of time being isolated from friends and family, it was called being in the service. Of course, in all fairness, I was isolated with hundreds of others. Thing is, that wasn't always a good thing. It's very possible to be isolated in a crowd. I wrote letters and read books.
 This isn't the first time I have thought about this. I do believe we are raising a bunch of emotional cripples. Think about it. People are offended by the truth, changing terms to make reality palatable. We seek consul for every thing that disturbs us. We are prescribed " medications " that alter our mood. We become addicted to those medications, blame the medications, then seek recovery. If we quit abusing the medications that we were prescribed, that is to say quit using them altogether, we proclaim ourselves survivors! We have survived what? Being a victim of our own choices? Yes, I'd say so. What happened to " buck up " people? That is what I was told, suck it up buttercup. Yes we should be aware, paying attention to what is going on around us. That's how I was taught to survive, by awareness. You shouldn't fear what you understand. Fear comes from not knowing. I'm thinking we are well informed on this virus and what measures to take to minimize your odds of catching it. Nothing is 100% fool proof. But what I'm seeing is people demanding help, demanding protection, and someone else, or the government, should be providing that! And when they feel like that " help " isn't responsive enough anxiety sets in. Instead of turning to self reliance, something that seems foreign to many, they turn to government.
 The bottom line to me is this. In a time of crisis drastic measures must be taken. The response to this virus has certainly been that. If it is an overreaction that's fine. I'd rather err on the side of safety than be foolish about it. I figure the government knows a whole lot more than they are letting on, hence this response. I admit, at first. I thought otherwise. I never thought it was a hoax but questioned the response. I chalked that up to our general emotional response in the country today. And as I said, I think we have a bunch of emotional cripples these days and it's getting worse. Candy pants is what I call that, we are raising a bunch of candy pants these days. People easily offended, especially by the truth that doesn't fit in with their desires. Yeah, there are times to say no, and that something is wrong! Yes, judgement! There are times when we need to judge our actions and responses. And yes, when you are saying, don't judge, you are judging! You're judging what I'm judging as a judgement contrary to your judgement. Oh my, how offensive. Well, buck up and deal with it. Anxiety? Really?
 I listen to the news and hear little reassurance. What I hear is all gloom and doom. Hours of nonstop statistics about mortality rates, graphs showing the curve, infections rates, number of tests performed, results from those tests. and how our Seniors will certainly die from this! Yes, this time it isn't our children, it is our Grandparents that will suffer. About the best the news has to offer, is, we're working on it. It's a global pandemic! Ominous music plays in the background as you hear, we're going to get through this. And then they follow that with the stories of tragedy. Americans stuck abroad, running out of medications and they can't get home. Nursing homes infected, pictures of grandchildren pressing their hands against the glass of their grandparents bedroom windows, almost like a final goodbye. The economy is crashing, the politicians are fighting over what to do, amid promises of a cash give a way to every American. And then stories about anxiety. If you are feeling anxious call the hotline. But take heart, the liquor store is open. It's essential.   

reassessing priorites

 My Grandson began classes at Stevenson University, a milestone in anyone's life. We all helped him move into his dorm room and it was an exciting time. When we recieved his first grades, first semester, he made the Deans list. He was settling in, had applied for a special program, and was on track to graduate in three years time due to previous credits earned in high school. All was looking great and then this virus comes along. Now, he has to move out of the dorm and continue his studies online. That is a dramatically different situation. And to add to that he is out of a job as well. Mark is a certified soccer referee and that was his job. On the weekends he would officiate as many as eight games and earn a goodly sum for doing so. He also worked sanctioned tournaments. All of that has been halted. It's a tough blow to absorb. Now he is setting up a desk and workspace at home, in his bedroom. But Mark will not quit, he will not be deterred. He understands the gravity of the situation and will persevere. I have every confidence in him. 

 My granddaughter being a junior in high school has seen the prom canceled, then the school closed. It is doubtful they will reconvene this year at all. Caroline County doesn't have the resources for online classes. So, for now, all she can do is go to work and return home. There is no going out with her girlfriends, no trips to the mall or whatever the kids are doing. Just work and go home. A tough pill for a 17 year old girl to swallow. She is holding up so far. There is so much uncertainty in her life right now. I understand what a tough spot it is. How will this ultimately effect her life? Will she get to graduate next year or will she have to repeat her junior year? How is that going to work? No one is offering answers for that. 

 I realize this is happening all over America. This is an unprecedented situation. Distance learning is becoming a new watchword in our vocabulary, along with social distancing. Not long ago we were concerned with bullying and guns in the classrooms. Well, we don't have those problems anymore. The discussion about arming teachers and resource officers in the schools has ceased. Now it's a virus that causes great trepidation, and rightly so. There are students doing online classes and there are those being homeschooled. A parent or caregiver of some type has to stay at home now. A throwback to 19th century America when that was the normal thing. Yes, the children may have been attending the school in their town but Mom was usually home. There were little after school activities. The emphasis in education in those days was on learning to survive in the real world. The basics were stressed, reading, writing and arithmetic. I'd venture to say morals and ethics were stressed as well. But the biggest difference , I believe, was the amount of time the children spent with their parents. That was an education in and of itself. Back then Parents were admired far more often than any celebrities. Indeed  there were few celebrities to admire in the rural areas. No, the ones that were admired were the ones that exhibited what we would call life skills in an exceptional way. The best blacksmith, surest shot ( think best hunter ) and homemaking skills. Those folks were respected and admired in the community. Entertainers were just that, for entertainment. 

 I don't think anyone knows how long this will last. A few weeks , a couple months? There will come a time when the restrictions are lifted, when it will be declared safe. Will that safety include an immunization from this virus? Yes, I'm certain that it will. People are always looking for reassurances in life. There is always something to fear. Will all of this cause any permanent changes? No I doubt that but I will say our responses to things will. Yes, today we need to shelter in place from an invisible virus, one we feel helpless against. I'm thinking we will begin to enact this response for other situations as well. Given time it will be the standard response. I remember when people were building and stocking bomb shelters! The Russians were going to blow us all up. Now we have to be concerned with airborne viruses. There is a mad scramble for masks. Will we begin seeing people wearing them about as an everyday precaution. Will people begin to have self contained breathing devices? Devices to filter the air of any possible contaminates? A mini " bomb shelter " for our respiratory system? Well, this too will pass. I'm hoping that this will bring parents and children closer together. Perhaps force a reassessment of priorities. All we can do is pray.  

Better days

 I woke up thinking I've lived from tubes to transistors. Yeah, I guess I've seen some changes. Today I'm wondering if things will ever be the same. The answer, of course, is no. Things will never be the same again, they never are. As we grow older we like to look at the past and remember how things used to be. If we look long and hard enough it can make us sad. The knowledge that it's gone, it can't be recovered, and will never be again is somber indeed. It doesn't have to be though, we can control that with our thoughts. " There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things that are beyond our power or our will. " ( Epictetus ) The past falls into that category. We can't change the past, the past has changed us.
 My mother always says, the older you get the faster time goes by. I'm beginning to learn the truth of that. Years certainly have run together. Everything has been speeding up since I was young. I remember when we had tubes in our electronics. Turn on the radio or television and wait for them to warm up. Once they did, the speaker would begin to crackle a bit and then sound. You did have to wait just a bit, anticipation. Then we switched to transistors, instant on! No more waiting just flip the switch. Microwave ovens made it possible to heat something up, quickly. We were told we could cook a meal in minutes. Pocket calculators are amazingly fast. Computers came along, an information superhighway and the big concern, speed. How fast can they compute? We still talk about speed today, the advertisements proclaiming you can have GiG speed, 5G, speed. Wireless. lightening fast.
 Yes lots of things have changed and we react to them. Whether they are good or bad is a matter of how we perceive those things. It is solely in our power. We can't control what others do or say, it is only our reaction to them that we can control. As we age we react faster, responding to forces at times without question, without thought. That's because we have already decided upon a course of action. To paraphrase an old Greek philosopher, it is impossible to learn what you feel you already know. It's something I call conviction. You should question everything, that's good advice, but I believe you do have to decide in the end. It is the strength of our convictions that defines the strength of our character. Conviction and belief are separate entities. Belief is what you think you will do,  conviction is what you actually do. This is especially evident during adversity, emergencies or when challenged.
 Time marches on is an old idiom. That it appears to move ever quickly forward can't be denied. I believe that is because it more difficult for man to look to tomorrow than to remember yesterday. And we know that with every yesterday, there is one less tomorrow. An unsettling thought but a universal truth. A truth only learned over time. We do need to remember, this too will pass. One day we either remember no more, or wake to eternity. We won't know which it is until we get there. I'm in no hurry to find out. In the meantime all I can do is move forward on the strength of my convictions. Yes, and pray. I've had many good days in the past but as my Grandmother would say, better days are coming.  

Morris

 I know they say never give a pet as a gift for Christmas. Well, I didn't do that but I got a pet for Christmas. I was presented, that's what you do with a present, present it, Morris the cat. Morris is about four years old and your run of the mill Tabby. He's been neutered and from what I've been told spent a great deal of his time in the local shelter. Now I like Cats and have had them in the past. The last one, Hobo, had been abandoned and I took him in. He was a outdoor cat, but not a feral, and ill equipped for such a life. He didn't stray far from the house. An older cat he passed away one early morning on my porch. I'm not sure of the cause but gave him a dignified burial. But Morris has been cared for, he has been chipped and a medical record. Other than needing a teeth cleaning I'm told by the Vet he is in excellent shape. He's active that much I can attest too. Gets into everything!
 Yesterday the weather took a turn and the temperature soared to over eighty. I opened the windows to welcome spring. Flowers are in bloom, the trees have either bloomed or in the budding stages and a gentle breeze was blowing. I had made some window seats for Morris. He seemed to enjoyed lying on them and looking out at the activity outdoors. Yesterday was the first time he had been on his window seat when the window was open. He seemed to be enthralled by it all. I watched him for a while and he did seem interested. I wondered if he had ever been exposed to the outdoors. Now I don't know how long a cats' memory is but he hasn't been outside since at least December when I got him. I was told he had been at the shelter a while, being older, nobody wanted him. The employees said they had grown used to him and had become a little attached. Like I said, not sure how long a time that was.
 I have plans to build him a catio. Ever hear of that? It's a patio for cats. A Catio, get it. LOL But I rather like the idea. I have a good place for one. I live on the second floor. Below the rear windows of my apartment there is a storage room. It's roof is just a short distance below my windows. Looks like a perfect location for a catio. My landlord will certainly give me permission to do so. The plan is to install a " pet portal " in the window to give Morris access to the catio. I've seen many plans online and read advice on construction and materials. A lot depends upon what the landlord will actually allow. A catio can be as simple as an enclosed window box, like a hot house, or be much more spacious. Depends on the mounting methods. It does have to be secure from the weather and from a running cat! It's a project I'm excited about. More so now that I've seen Morris react to the outdoors. Yes, I intend to spoil him. Well, he already is.
 There are four windows that Morris routinely visits. Three of them have window seats and the other he just sits on the back of the couch. I made two window seats. Made from simple pine boards I did upholster them with two inch foam and a plush fabric in moroon. He will dart from window to window at times when he spots something. I'm guessing he is trying to track the movement. One seat gives him a view out the kitchen window, where he can see downtown. Another is out that back window. one on the uptown side of the house seems to be his favorite. There is a small church next door and he tracks the parishioners coming and going, along with the birds and squirrels in a big tree right outside that window. Lots of stimulation for him there. He sure is keeping a lookout.

  This window seat is one I purchased for him. He likes it but the ones I made were far less expensive. Funny thing is at times he will run and jump up there and it tilts forward. I've seen him crash into the window. He hasn't done that lately, maybe he's learning?  

vigilance

 I don't watch a lot of movies. One of my favorites however is Gladiator. In one scene the Emperors' sister says, the crowd is fickle brother, he will be forgotten in a week. Or something close to that anyway. Listening to the news these days and I can certainly see truth in that statement, even today, the crowd is indeed a fickle bunch. Who remembers the crisis, the big concern that was going to be the end of everything a month ago, two months ago, or last year? Now there are many of us that if we give it some thought can recall specific issues and incidences. Mostly just the ones we were opposed to. and I include myself in that assessment. Remember when taking a knee and removing statues was going to cause a civil war? Remember assault rifles? What of the caravan of people streaming into the country from the south? The war on drugs. Do you hear those things mentioned today? No, not so much right. This virus is the hot button item, it will kill us all! 

 Now I'm not saying every measure we are taking isn't justified. I'm not downplaying the seriousness of the situation. It's definitely a scary time. Shelter in place was a phrase we heard when there was a threat from some mad gunman. This gunman is invisible and we are forced to seek isolation from it. I am saying this too will pass. We will get through it. I have concerns, like everyone else. What about the homeless people? What is being done to mitigate their situation? I have my doubts that they are isolating themselves. I have doubts about their overall health. Given the necessity for social distancing aren't their sources of food and revenue drying up? I haven't heard anything about that at all. I did hear some Governors are going to release prisoners, the ones that didn't do anything that bad, to avoid spreading the virus in the prisons. In Baltimore the Police are being instructed to not enforce certain laws. They are being told to avoid contact with people as much as possible. Can it be long before Martial Law is instituted, the national guard called out to maintain the peace.

 This will pass. The crowd is fickle and this too will be forgotten. There will something else to distract us all. The disruption to our everyday lives is unsettling, and unprecedented in modern times. At least I can't recall anything close to this response. I have a vague memory of receiving the small pox vaccine on a sugar cube. There was a line of people when it was made available. But there was no panic, no social distancing, indeed no rules at all from the government prior to that. The only unsetting thing was when we were told to come get your vaccine! That is when people became concerned. Now I was quite young then and so don't recall the social attitudes of the day. I don't know what was being reported on the news. A few years later I remember practicing in case of being bombed! We were taught to hide under the desk at school, if you were outside get on your knees, put your face to the ground and your hands on your head. The fetal position, only upright. We were taught to look for those Civil Defense signs on buildings. Memorize were they were so you could scramble inside at any moment. At some time, for some unknown reason, all that stopped. Now those Civil Defense signs on buildings are nothing more than a reminder of the past, a curiously. 

 And so I will do my part. Stay inside as much as possible, practice social distancing. and pray for all those effected. This is a scary time indeed. I do have grave concerns for our society going forward. The economic impact is going to be severe. Legislation passed today with the very best of intentions can remain long after the crisis is passed. Freedom once eroded can be difficult to rebuild. We need to be vigilant in protecting that.   

 

If

 I just thought I'd leave this here this morning, In times like this we all need encouragement, advice and most importantly, hope. I'm afraid my writings are inadequate to the task and so I figured Kipling could handle it. So, I hope this provides some hope, some help, in a difficult time.

                        IF

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

                                                                   Rudyard Kipling 

explain

 It will do no good for me to pontificate about this COVID 19 response any further then I already have. I don't have any crystal ball or information about this and what will happen. I hold reservations about the response. But now I'm hearing one response will be to just hand out some cash. I'm certain many people will be thrilled with that. Big brother will take care of us, give us a little jingle. Some will be distracted from the true crisis and content for a while.
 We are a media driven society and they have their foot on the pedal on this one. One would think a Giraffe was going to have a baby. The coverage is nonstop, nonstop gloom and doom. Even politics is getting the back seat these days. Biden will almost silently get the nomination, primaries be damned. In the meantime our whole economy is being restructured, in a way. It is going to have a lasting impression that much is certain. A bi-partisan agreement on a stimulus package? Yes, that would be of benefit to either party. You certainly don't want to be the party that says no or reduce and restrict that too harshly. Throw some money at the problem that'll do the trick. Some estimate the government will have to borrow as much as a trillion dollars! Just who are we going to borrow that money from? That's a question I can't answer, but one that needs to be considered. We hear much talk of Oligarchs, Saudi Princes, Soros and his ilk. Well they are the ones with the money right? If you can instill enough fear in the population. control commerce, and by extension control personal incomes, you are well on your way to controlling the nation. No need for a bloody coup, the population just surrenders. Indeed in the end, the population just flees the nation altogether.
 It is this that concerns me the most. It is something I wrote about yesterday and many seemed not to hear what I was saying. This virus will not last forever. Yes it is a grave concern at this time. The measures the government are taking are a bit extreme in my opinion but an excess of caution never destroyed a nation. The decimating of an economy has.
 It is my feeling that opportunity has knocked and those answering the door are not acting in the best interest of all. There is much to be gained politically and economically for those able to weather the storm. Who are those people? It isn't you and I. I'm not saying it is all a big conspiracy. I am saying there are those that will leverage whatever advantage they have in an effort to gain further control. It wasn't long ago that millions of dollars was spent defending a notion that Russia was somehow interfering, indeed influencing our elections. Millions of people believed that without question, millions still do. A large segment of the population supported impeaching the President based solely on accusations and innuendo. There is little the average American can do in all of this. We are just the pawns in the game.
 I guess what I'm trying to say is best explained by an old saying I read somewhere. It's hard to remember the objective is to drain the swamp when you are up to your butt in alligators. Don't be distracted by this coronavirus pandemic to the point of surrendering your rights or your freedoms. Don't sell out for a few dollars. Do what you feel necessary to prevent yourself for getting ill. If that means isolation, do that. You have to do as the government directs, failure to do so will only result in the stiffing of restrictions. Martial law will be instituted. Much has been said about the division of America. Is the plan now to conquer? To gain control by any means necessary? Sounds crazy doesn't it? I agree it does sound crazy. I'm writing it and can't believe it myself. But let's not forget about history. It wouldn't be the first time a population wakes up to find it is too late. It can happen. It's a scary thought, much scarier to me than any virus. As of this morning the news reports one hundred people have died as a result of this virus. That means .00003% of the population. .00003%! And this is the response? Does somebody know a whole lot more than they are letting on? If not, explain this response.
 

changes

 Well it's St. Patrick's day. I'll be sure to wear something green to avoid being pinched. Of course that woud be bullying these days, a crime. Still it's a tradition I keep and will continue to do so.. Now that I'm quarantined I suppose many are safe. But it is the first time I know of that we are celebrating St. Patrick's without any parades. I'm certain it ruined the plans of many. I'm as equally certain it is having an economic impact. A lot of green beer, corned beef and cabbage.
 In the last few years I have been amazed that the Irish folks in America aren't complaining and protesting. I mean every year, for one day, everyone makes fun of them. They insist that the Irish do nothing more than drink and fight. They stereotype type them all to be red heads with bad tempers. Why aren't they feeling marginalized? Don't they feel bullied? And the wearing of the green, really, Irish folks always wear green. Why Irish-Americans aren't even demanding reparation's for the way they were treated in the past. The English caused the potato famine forcing them to flee to America. When they got here they were treated badly indeed, being called names like Paddy and characterized as drunkards. But the Irish persisted and in the end got themselves a day of celebration where everyone is Irish! Parades abound and everyone is drinking beer.
 But this year is turning out to be an extraordinary year. One for the history books as the saying goes. The stock market spiraling downward, a global pandemic, two presidential candidates over the age of 75, self  quarantining, schools closed, businesses shut down by the government, and it is only March 17th. I'm predicting 2020 will be one of those years that stands out in history. It will not soon be forgotten because of the social impact it is going to have. A fundamental change is taking place. This will be lost on many people, especially the younger folks, but I can see it coming. Our liberty is being eroded away. It started long before this Coronavirus appeared out of nowhere but the virus is becoming the propellant to move it forward. Government officials are now asserting themselves, claiming only they know what is best for you. Panels of experts on the television not offering hope, only predicting disaster. The dam has cracked and soon the floodgates will be open. In the future any abnormality, any unrest, any disruption will be met with government force, not intervention.
 I'm not saying this flu isn't a serious thing, possibly a very serious thing. I am saying the government is now taking extraordinary measures. Are they justified in doing so? Arguments can be made for both sides. To err on the side of safety is the prudent course. Personally I believe it is a bit of an overreaction. I do think the media has added fuel to this fire. Perhaps politics is playing a role as well. As I have said before, when opportunity knocks, and some do see this as opportunity. I'm confident we will all survive, we'll get through this. What I'm more concerned about is the long term effect. A fundamental change to the way the government responds. More power has shifted. Another degree of socialization is taking place. Fear is being used to push an agenda. An opportunity? Yes, I believe that some as using this pandemic to further their cause. One candidate for President already stating that if we had a socialized medical system, single payer, this could have been avoided. We would have been prepared! An attempt to scare people into voting for that. Yes it is and it is blatant. Is social distancing a medical necessity or an attempt to separate the pack? But we can use social media you say. Yes and I think we all know how that works out. Social media is not the format for personal interaction is any positive way. Unfortunately all social media seems to do is embolden people to act their worst. We shall see. In the meantime happy St. Patrick's day.  

a secular response

 Once again I find myself holding the minority opinion. Truth be told I expected that to be the case. The churches have closed their doors due to common sense and reason. Galileo Galilel, yes the astronmer guy, said: " I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. " He was of course defending his observation that the earth circled the sun. It wasn't a new idea but actually had been around in scientific circles for hundreds of years. Fearing that science was being elevated above God the church wasn't very happy about that. That was the real issue. The church was afraid that science would replace faith. My minority opinion is that that it has come to fruition with the closing of the church doors. Yes common sense and reason tells us to distance ourselves from those that would infect us, but is it not faith that should bring us together? Sacrificing faith for safety by rationalization, in accordance with science. Just as the church feared would happen all those centuries ago. 

 Now Galileo wasn't telling anyone to not attend church services or that the church should not hold public services, but the church was worried about that. If the population just began using common sense and reason where would that leave the church? If science replaces God what becomes of humanity? The question in all of that is what would God have to say. Would God tell us to listen to common sense and reason, stay away from those public services altogether in the name of safety? Does God direct us to , play it safe? It's true that we have been instructed to not test God. Would exposing ourselves to this virus be such a test? That's something that has to be answered individually. I say that because it is my belief each person has their own God. Your God is not my God. That's because I am the only one that can share that relationship with him. Just as different siblings have different feelings towards their parents, each of us, being children of God, share a different view of him. Like opinions there is no right and wrong only a comparison. That comparison, often mistaken for judgment, is between my God and yours. The Bible, and all religious texts, are an effort to codify God. Yes, that is correct. That's why they call it the law! I don't get to make the final judgement but I can Judge what my God is and wants me to be. That's the free will part. It is also the reason the church was upset with Galileo, they wanted to stay in control, remain the authority. The Pope is infallible! That is something that Catholics maintain to this very day. Yes, there was a change of opinion. They did so when they accepted science and faith could co-exist.

 I maintain the opinion that the Shepard does not distance himself from the flock. Consider the parable of the Shepard and his flock of one hundred. When one wanders off doesn't he go in search of it? Is that common sense and reason? Wouldn't it be more reasonable to stay and protect the ninety nine? But the Shepard will tend his flock despite danger, dispute common sense or reason. And I view all Pastors as good Shepherds. Is it not their duty to keep the flock together? How can you do that by closing the gate on the sheepfold? Should we not gather together in troubling times? Why do we congregate? To come together in faith is my answer. Each of us can exercise common sense and reason in doing so. It is my feeling that the Shepard should be there for the flock, not closing the gate, but rather holding it open. 

 All of this comes as a surprise to me. I admit to not attending church on a regular basis, in fact, infrequently. I do not consider myself righteous, pious or possessing any great faith. Yet, I find myself troubled by this action. What is the message being sent? I don't know why this bothers me the way it does. I feel compelled to speak up, to voice my opinion. Regardless of dissent and indeed judgement by others, I feel compelled. It is not a call to preach. It is not a condemnation or judgement. It is my thoughts, my feelings. I was upset and troubled when the churches began locking their doors at night for fear of theft and vandalism. But it was something I could understand and come to grips with. Truth be told I still find it unsettling. But this, the closing of the doors altogether? Should we only gather together when it is safe? Who makes that call? Science, government, or the Shepard? Do we close the church based on secular science? It just seems counterintuitive to me. 

 The church condemned Galileo for secular science, then pardoned him. The fear was secular science would overtake the church. To use a fancy term, aggrandize, the power of science. It was a genuine fear, or concern, depending upon your point of view. It is difficult to change our point of view at times. It is doubly so when it seems to be a compromise. 

 Oscar Wilde wrote: " Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. " Now Wilde is a controversial figure in history. Convicted of " gross indecency " and living an eccentric lifestyle. This passage of his, I believe, is his explanation of who he was. It was a justification for his existence. He became popular for his writings, his plays, and his entertaining nature. Most of history has forgiven his eccentricities. Today he is admired. I included this quote because it is my hope that I'm not " other " people but genuinely myself. It is a difficult task. I'm not sure I'm up to the challenge. But that is called life. And life, life is allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Taking the risk in hope of reward.   

  

socializing God

 If each of us are for a reason, the reason can't be for ourselves. That means we are here for the benefit of another, or others. So is it our quest to find that purpose, or has that purpose been predetermined? Certainly we shouldn't be in search of our own happiness for that can't be our purpose. Perhaps happiness, true happiness can only be found through others. Perhaps true happiness isn't a personal experience at all, but the fulfilling of a promise. A promise made by whatever being created us and placed us here on this earth. But would that being place us here to please himself? Why would that be? Could it be that the creator is simply lonely? I mean being the creator would mean you have no equal, no peer, no one to share anything with. You are alone in the universe, unless there is a race of creator beings. A concept similar to the Greek Gods. A concept we think of today as myths and legends. Maybe the ancient Greeks were right. Maybe each of us are placed here by a different creator, as a counter or companion to another creators creation! Is that why man competes against man. The reason for so much strife, struggle, hardship and pain. If that is the case maybe we aren't all here to benefit anyone at all except the creator that placed us here in the first place. Our reason for being not necessarily a good thing. Would that explain bad people?
 All religious practices are followed for the same reason, to gain favor. That's the bottom line isn't it? To secure something for ourselves in the afterlife. In order to do that we have to please the God(s). We are instructed in order to do that we must do as this God(s) wish us to do. We have written textbooks to follow. Those are the instructions written down by men to tell other men how to act. We are taught those texts were dictated by the God(s) for our edification. The question being do those texts instruct us to please the God(s) or to please other men? That's where the biggest mystery lies.
 In that old time religion it was about sacrifice and denial. That was the teachings of my youth and the generations before me. The further you go back in time the more sacrificing and self denial you see, especially in the Christian tradition. I'm thinking about the Jewish people as well, as you can't discuss Christianity without the Jews. Jesus was a Jew. There is no historical record that Jesus ever offered a sacrifice at the Temple as was the custom at the time. In fact that was the main purpose of the Temple, the offering of sacrifices. Still it can't be overlooked that he did make one sacrifice, a sacrifice to end all sacrifices! That's if you believe in that, and I do.
  But the point I'm trying to make here is that it isn't about pleasing yourself, making yourself feel good, it is about appeasing the god(s) in the hope of reward. It doesn't really matter if you are happy about that or not. That is sacrifice and denial. Denial of those things that may please us personaly but displease the god(s). In more modern forms of religious practice we have removed the sacrifice and denial in an ever increasing way. The first big example of this would have to be the establishing of the Christian faith, that was followed by the Reformation, and many smaller reformations have taken place since, and continue to this day. We justify these changes in many ways. The justification not spoken aloud is just to keep people sacrificing and denying themselves as much as possible, but not too much as to cause them to leave altogether. We just call it progressive, tolerance, inclusiveness, forgiveness, non-judgmental, or that the God(s) will always and automatically overlook any infractions you commit. All you have to do is ask or have a good excuse. Sorta like a socialized God, you know, one that will provide you everything you want or need, no need to work, sacrifice, or deny yourself a good time. Hey you're entitled to an afterlife right? And it's going to be the one you want because you deserve it.
 None of that offers an explanation for why we are here in the first place. The only question is, do we seek personal happiness or do we seek the afterlife. Did your God(s) place you here to make yourself happy or to benefit someone else, maybe an entire nation of someone else's. Can you be happy pleasing others? That is to say can you deny yourself while providing for others and be happy? I'd say it was possible, that's the only way to explain those that sacrifice everything to the benefit of others. Or perhaps it is as simple as convincing yourself. Is that belief?