whose fault is that

 Having a standard. It is a frequent topic of mine, you could say I am an advocate of standards. I firmly believe you must establish a standard. Without a standard how do you measure success? And isn't that what we are all concerned with, success? Success is best defined as happiness. That's what I think. If we are happy, we are successful. Success is achieved by meeting or exceeding the standard. There is this idea that there is a minimum standard. I disagree with that concept. A standard is just that, a standard. Yes you can do more than the standard requires, but that doesn't minimize the standard itself. It doesn't change the standard. If we constantly alter the standard we can never achieve success, we will never be happy. We may deceive ourselves for a time by the lowering of a standard, granting ourselves immediate satisfaction, a sense of success, but it won't last. That's because the only way we can lower the standard is by concession. You have to give something in return.
 Happiness can be contentment. I think that is a fair assessment. When we are contented with our situation, we are happy. We are contented because we have met a standard. Whether it is a personal or social standard isn't the issue. The issue lies solely with our personal standard. But from where do we derive that personal standard? Society is the answer. Society is what we have to compare against. You can't have a standard without comparison. So, in that way society drives our standards. It is the changing of societal standards that cause so many discomfort. Changing the standard requires a change in our being, in our very thought processes. It is akin to learning a mathematical formula only to be told later the terms of the formula have changed. You will reach a different answer! What you previously believed to wrong is right, or vice versa. Then the only path seems to be a detachment from society, you must walk alone. That's a tough physiological situation.
 It's tough because how can we be successful if society says we are not? Happiness is success. Success is achieved by meeting the standard. But now the standard has changed. In our minds standards are seldom raised, but routinely lowered. We do believe our standard is the correct one, isn't that why we follow it? Or should we live a life of concession? Also known as taking the easy way out. The easy way isn't the right way. Isn't that what we are taught? Reaching the standard require effort. It isn't fair to just lower the standard. We call that injustice! When someone achieves what you want without exerting the proper effort, we feel like it is an injustice. In fact when someone isn't required to meet a standard, yet is rewarded despite that, it is an injustice!
 The answer lies in personal happiness. It lies in meeting your personal standard. Your happiness should not be dependent on others. You have to understand that you can not control others. That is the key, in my opinion. Once you understand that you can not control what others think or feel, your own happiness will increase. Now that doesn't mean to withdraw from society, to just make concessions. You still have to maintain your standard. Even when society has lowered the standard you must maintain your own. No one said life is easy. There is no easy way out! Happiness is success. Success takes effort. Success is measured by what? Happiness lies in that answer. If you aren't happy whose fault is that?