After graduating high school I had a short time before going in the service. I had signed the papers earlier in the year and was just waiting my turn I didn't have to report until August the 9th. So, I didn't have a job and was just hanging around. Now, grandma always said , idle hands do the devil's work, and I proved that axiom. In a very short time, I did indeed do the devil's work. More properly I should say the devil was working on me. I celebrated my 18th birthday on July the 20th. At that time in New York 18 was the legal age for buying alcohol. I was feeling pretty darn adult at this point! Eighteen and going in the Navy. Oh yeah, an image to live up to.
I set out to explore those places of legend and lore. The places I had heard my father speak of and the good times that took place in them. I had been to them in the past with Dad, he having a beer and I coca-cola. I admired the easy grace that he seemed to have in those places. There was a familiarity I could sense. Even the names of those places was exciting to me, Jungle Pete's, hidden down in the woods or so it seemed to me, there was Maggie's to those that were close, Ambrose's to those that were not. Sam's was uptown right across the street from Lyons. Each place was a bit different, each having it's own character. And of course, there was the bowling alley. The bowling alley was the place for us younger folks, the hip crowd. The bowling alley lounge was the spot. In short order I had tried them all. I had discovered Rum and Coke. Ah, the entry level alcoholic beverage. I did feel like a pirate!
Now my home was just off the springy banks road on the edge of northwest woods. It was on a dirt lane on a small rise. The front yard was enclosed by a split rail fence. There was a drive to the left of the fence and a small strip of ground on the outside of that fence, right in front. It was there I normally parked my car. The drive was for Mom and Dad, not smart to take their spots. Being outside of town it was a dark place and not given to much traffic. The stones in that dirt road did make a crunching noise if you went a little too fast. At night the sound was even louder, as all sounds seem louder in the dark. I would be out late, for Mom and Dad anyway past eight o'clock, and so would creep up that drive. I was always careful to not make a racket and sometimes even turned off the headlights. Coming home very late, now that I was out drinking those rum and cokes, I took extra care. Well you know how drunk people are, so quiet and careful all the time. And yes I was definitely driving under the influence! Only we didn't call it that, we said you were three sheets to the wind. But anyway, I snuck home.
One morning I was awakened by my father. He was quite upset and yelling stuff I couldn't figure out! A car, inside the fence? Where I had been and how did that car get there? He was loud, demanding answers to questions that I had no clue about. Oh, my head was hurting and why was he yelling so loudly! He's hollering, look, look out the front window. Now when dad is hollering like that you look. To my shock there is my car, parked in the front yard. But it's not on the outside of the fence, it's on the inside! It's sitting there in the middle of the lawn surrounded by a split rail fence. The fence isn't broken, it isn't disturbed or so it seems. And Dad is demanding to know, how did that car get there? I don't know. My brain is all fogged up and I have no answer. The questions are coming rapid fire and the voice is getting louder all the time. I'll take care of it, I'll move it. I'm getting desperate. I hear, you'd better! And as I'm getting dressed I'm trying to figure this out. Just how did that car get there? I'm certain I parked it outside the fence, in the same spot as always, and I have the keys right here.
Well stumbling down the stairs and going outside I survey the situation. Yup, that car is inside the fence alright. Just how did it get there? I didn't do that, at least I don't remember doing that. No, I couldn't have done that. But after some time studying the problem it dawns on me. All I have to do is remove a couple rails and I can drive it back out of there. As the fog lifts I do just that and carefully replace the rails. There , no harm done. But, it isn't over. Oh no, the questioning continues. Where had I been and what was I doing? Where you drinking and driving? Was I so plastered I didn't remember parking my car inside a fence! Oh, my head was hurting and I had no answers. At least none Dad wanted to hear. My mother had remained strangely silent, just looking at me like I was crazy. I think she was in shock.
I don't recall when, things are still a bit foggy. But at some time my brother confessed to this trick. It was he who had removed the rails from the fence, pushed my car in there and replaced the rails. Oh, it was hilarious. Luckily for me I left for the Navy shortly after that incident. The incident was mostly forgotten. Luckily too, I did go in the Navy when I did. I was headed for the pirate life, no doubt about that. Boot camp dried me out but it didn't end my adventures. I seldom drank rum and coke after that. No, having graduated boot camp I moved on to shots of bourbon and gallons of beer. Ah, but those tales are for another day.
I set out to explore those places of legend and lore. The places I had heard my father speak of and the good times that took place in them. I had been to them in the past with Dad, he having a beer and I coca-cola. I admired the easy grace that he seemed to have in those places. There was a familiarity I could sense. Even the names of those places was exciting to me, Jungle Pete's, hidden down in the woods or so it seemed to me, there was Maggie's to those that were close, Ambrose's to those that were not. Sam's was uptown right across the street from Lyons. Each place was a bit different, each having it's own character. And of course, there was the bowling alley. The bowling alley was the place for us younger folks, the hip crowd. The bowling alley lounge was the spot. In short order I had tried them all. I had discovered Rum and Coke. Ah, the entry level alcoholic beverage. I did feel like a pirate!
Now my home was just off the springy banks road on the edge of northwest woods. It was on a dirt lane on a small rise. The front yard was enclosed by a split rail fence. There was a drive to the left of the fence and a small strip of ground on the outside of that fence, right in front. It was there I normally parked my car. The drive was for Mom and Dad, not smart to take their spots. Being outside of town it was a dark place and not given to much traffic. The stones in that dirt road did make a crunching noise if you went a little too fast. At night the sound was even louder, as all sounds seem louder in the dark. I would be out late, for Mom and Dad anyway past eight o'clock, and so would creep up that drive. I was always careful to not make a racket and sometimes even turned off the headlights. Coming home very late, now that I was out drinking those rum and cokes, I took extra care. Well you know how drunk people are, so quiet and careful all the time. And yes I was definitely driving under the influence! Only we didn't call it that, we said you were three sheets to the wind. But anyway, I snuck home.
One morning I was awakened by my father. He was quite upset and yelling stuff I couldn't figure out! A car, inside the fence? Where I had been and how did that car get there? He was loud, demanding answers to questions that I had no clue about. Oh, my head was hurting and why was he yelling so loudly! He's hollering, look, look out the front window. Now when dad is hollering like that you look. To my shock there is my car, parked in the front yard. But it's not on the outside of the fence, it's on the inside! It's sitting there in the middle of the lawn surrounded by a split rail fence. The fence isn't broken, it isn't disturbed or so it seems. And Dad is demanding to know, how did that car get there? I don't know. My brain is all fogged up and I have no answer. The questions are coming rapid fire and the voice is getting louder all the time. I'll take care of it, I'll move it. I'm getting desperate. I hear, you'd better! And as I'm getting dressed I'm trying to figure this out. Just how did that car get there? I'm certain I parked it outside the fence, in the same spot as always, and I have the keys right here.
Well stumbling down the stairs and going outside I survey the situation. Yup, that car is inside the fence alright. Just how did it get there? I didn't do that, at least I don't remember doing that. No, I couldn't have done that. But after some time studying the problem it dawns on me. All I have to do is remove a couple rails and I can drive it back out of there. As the fog lifts I do just that and carefully replace the rails. There , no harm done. But, it isn't over. Oh no, the questioning continues. Where had I been and what was I doing? Where you drinking and driving? Was I so plastered I didn't remember parking my car inside a fence! Oh, my head was hurting and I had no answers. At least none Dad wanted to hear. My mother had remained strangely silent, just looking at me like I was crazy. I think she was in shock.
I don't recall when, things are still a bit foggy. But at some time my brother confessed to this trick. It was he who had removed the rails from the fence, pushed my car in there and replaced the rails. Oh, it was hilarious. Luckily for me I left for the Navy shortly after that incident. The incident was mostly forgotten. Luckily too, I did go in the Navy when I did. I was headed for the pirate life, no doubt about that. Boot camp dried me out but it didn't end my adventures. I seldom drank rum and coke after that. No, having graduated boot camp I moved on to shots of bourbon and gallons of beer. Ah, but those tales are for another day.
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