an attempt to deceive

  After reading a book written by a friend concerning a mystery I got to thinking. There are many kinds of secrets and many reasons to keep them. I won't talk about the book I just finished reading and spoil that mystery, I'd suggest you purchase a copy for yourself. " Only told in whispers " by Edith Lester. All I will say is that it does contain a secret. It was entertaining and informative. 

  I was thinking about the secrets I keep. I believe we all keep secrets and for many different reasons. We keep them to avoid embarrassment to ourselves and to others. We keep them to avoid hurting others. We keep them because we don't want to explain. Secrets aren't always kept to deceive, although that is often what people believe. It's a natural reaction when we feel left out. We all want to be in the inner sanctum. Secrets can bind family and friends together. Secrets can also be the explosive that blows things up! 

 Yes secrets are volatile things no doubt about that. There volatility increases over time. They lose that quality when all the effected parties are deceased. Then the secret may come as a shock, a revelation, but one that does no harm. The secret becomes a source of conversation, a curiosity or an amusement. In the case of my friend Edith, it becomes a book. 

 I was thinking about all of that and began to wonder. Should we tell all our secrets before we pass this world to the next caretaker. I mean, is there a time when we should share? Or are there secrets we should carry with us always, never revealing that information? I believe personal secrets need not be shared. If that secret only effects you, and you alone, then keep it. The issue is, most secrets we keep do have some effect on others, either directly or indirectly. What I mean is, changing the way others may remember you. Some secrets may reveal that you aren't who they believed you to be. At least in their thinking following that revelation. That is why secrets are so often viewed as a deceit. If not a deceit, than certainly a disappointment. And for me, disappointment is the worse of the two.

  Funny how I can find excuses, reasons, a justification for deceit, but for disappointment, not so much. To do so requires a lowering of expectations. That is a difficult thing to do. It's a difficult thing for all of us to do, to accept a little less. We are more likely to reject something altogether, rather than accept less. To accept less is to lower our own standard. Makes little difference if we ourselves are meeting that standard, the importance lies in the standard. Probably the reason it is so easy to find those excuses, those justifications for keeping a secret. 

  Now I'm not one to keep secrets. If anything I say more than I should. Yes I do have some personal things I'd rather not share with anyone. I believe some things are best left between you and your God. Best left to the final judgement I'd say. As long as I'm alive the test isn't over. There is still time. I read this somewhere, " Be careful who you pretend to be, you might forget who you are. " Keeping secrets is a form of pretending. It is withholding a piece of yourself from others. An attempt to deceive?