" God helps those who help themselves." Although it sounds like one, it isn't a Bible verse. This was one of my Grandmothers favorite sayings. The real meaning is to stay busy, do for yourself and don't expect others to do stuff for you, not even God. The help you can expect from God stems from your faith, it doesn't mean God will do it for you. It is basic philosophy, simple and to the point. It is also a lesson that I believe needs to be taught again. Somehow we have allowed that to get pushed to the wayside. As a consequence, we hear cries for help. The reason is obvious, we don't know how to take care of ourselves. And I mean by that, mentally take care of ourselves. We are emotional weaklings these days. Triggered and offended and not knowing what to do ! The reactions are at the extremes. Their are parades, protests, and all manner of unrest. Some are gathering in the streets wearing handkerchiefs like Hollywood outlaws, some are marching with Vagina hats on and others are just taking a knee ! Statues are being torn down and empathy has become an epidemic ! That's right, empathy has become an epidemic because the true meaning of that emotion isn't fully understood. Just giving everyone any thing they want, at any cost, is not empathy ! But, the lesson has not been taught and we are reaping the rewards of that.
Another popular phrase from my youth was, " sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt you. " The lesson was supposed to be taken literally. I was taught to just deflect that stuff. Yes, at first I reacted by crying, then I reacted with violence, but I learned to let it go after a while. I learned to help myself by dismissing those that wished to harm me. I discovered I don't have to be a friend to the world ! I become okay with the idea that some people just don't like me. Fact is, I learned to help myself. I no longer ran to Mommy saying I was being called names, I no longer tried to beat people up and just dismissed those folks. And here it is fifty years on and I don't feel a need to tell anyone, anything that happened to me when I was five that seems unfair today ! I learned to just set that stuff aside and get on with life.
As I watch the news and hear all the tragic tales of todays youth I can't help but wonder. Are we failing the youth of today by doing too much for them ? Are we doing them a disservice by teaching them to wear their hearts on their sleeves ? Hearts are exposed that way you know and subject to being easily damaged. It has been my experience in life that we don't like to do unpleasant things. We will try to avoid those things if at all possible. Better still is getting someone else to do them ! This is true for the mental as well as the physical. And that is what Grandma knew and was trying to tell me when she said, " God helps those who help themselves. " There will be times when you are the only person you have to rely upon. Yes, you have to help yourself and God will give you the strength to do that. You don't have to ask either ! You are in charge of your actions and your faith.
The largest disservice I see is this teaching of a victim mentality. Whatever happens to you that is unfavorable, in your eyes at least, makes you a victim. Afterwards you are a survivor ! Well, I've said it before and it bears repeating, if you are alive, you are a survivor ! I will add this, it isn't an accomplishment it is a gift. Whether you believe in a loving God or not, you can't deny the fact that you can't know the hour of your death. We will not talk about taking your own life, so don't use that as an argument. And guess what, even that action fails at times, so. But whatever, the point is we are all survivors.
Now having taught our youth that they are victims what do they seek ? Justice. That is the pursuit these days. What is Justice ? Justice is getting my way. Isn't that the long and short of it ? That is what Justice was when we were children, right ? We either got our way or a reward to compensate for real or imagined injustice. My brother got a bigger piece of cake ! Here, you get an extra scoop of ice cream. That's the way it worked, at least for a little while. As we got older that didn't fly anymore you learned to just suck it up, life isn't always fair.
If I can't get my way, I should get monetary compensation. That is justice. If I find myself in circumstances, either by no fault of my own, or by my choices, I should receive help, that's justice. If you have more than I do, that's unjust. Give it to me, help me. If you are not doing that, you lack empathy. It's your fault, not mine. I can't help myself ! That is how distorted the lesson has become. God is removed from the equation, replaced by what ? Government ? Government helps those who help themselves ? Yes, if you help yourself to every program, entitlement and benefit available. Just be the victim. If that doesn't work, hire a lawyer, sue somebody, anybody over anything at all. As long as I get a " settlement " that's cool. I got Justice.
The problem with this philosophy is it leaves a person empty. You are made to feel like you are a failure ( victim ) and it continues. What is the motivation to continue ? Am I to hope for a big settlement one day ? Or is it the expectation that the world will change to suit me ? What about when neither of those actins take place ? Where do I turn then ? I turn to someone or something for help. I can join these groups screaming at the skies, parading in the streets, or meeting in dark corners. I can seek counseling, therapy and medications. I can even self medicate. All of these things because you failed to learn a simple life lesson. " God helps those who help themselves. "
You know, that isn't a Bible verse for a simple reason. It really has nothing to do with God. It has to do with yourself and the way you view the world around you. If you do the things that you know, in your heart, to be right, good things will happen. Positive outcomes stem from positive actions. Yes, bad things happen to good people. The bad comes from the actions of bad people, not a lack of protection from God. I believe in God and I don't believe he " allows " people to be bad so why should I believe God makes us good ? No, it's our choices that make the difference. Do good and good will find you. Do bad and bad will find you. Do not be content with being a survivor, be an example to others on how to survive. Help yourself.
Another popular phrase from my youth was, " sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt you. " The lesson was supposed to be taken literally. I was taught to just deflect that stuff. Yes, at first I reacted by crying, then I reacted with violence, but I learned to let it go after a while. I learned to help myself by dismissing those that wished to harm me. I discovered I don't have to be a friend to the world ! I become okay with the idea that some people just don't like me. Fact is, I learned to help myself. I no longer ran to Mommy saying I was being called names, I no longer tried to beat people up and just dismissed those folks. And here it is fifty years on and I don't feel a need to tell anyone, anything that happened to me when I was five that seems unfair today ! I learned to just set that stuff aside and get on with life.
As I watch the news and hear all the tragic tales of todays youth I can't help but wonder. Are we failing the youth of today by doing too much for them ? Are we doing them a disservice by teaching them to wear their hearts on their sleeves ? Hearts are exposed that way you know and subject to being easily damaged. It has been my experience in life that we don't like to do unpleasant things. We will try to avoid those things if at all possible. Better still is getting someone else to do them ! This is true for the mental as well as the physical. And that is what Grandma knew and was trying to tell me when she said, " God helps those who help themselves. " There will be times when you are the only person you have to rely upon. Yes, you have to help yourself and God will give you the strength to do that. You don't have to ask either ! You are in charge of your actions and your faith.
The largest disservice I see is this teaching of a victim mentality. Whatever happens to you that is unfavorable, in your eyes at least, makes you a victim. Afterwards you are a survivor ! Well, I've said it before and it bears repeating, if you are alive, you are a survivor ! I will add this, it isn't an accomplishment it is a gift. Whether you believe in a loving God or not, you can't deny the fact that you can't know the hour of your death. We will not talk about taking your own life, so don't use that as an argument. And guess what, even that action fails at times, so. But whatever, the point is we are all survivors.
Now having taught our youth that they are victims what do they seek ? Justice. That is the pursuit these days. What is Justice ? Justice is getting my way. Isn't that the long and short of it ? That is what Justice was when we were children, right ? We either got our way or a reward to compensate for real or imagined injustice. My brother got a bigger piece of cake ! Here, you get an extra scoop of ice cream. That's the way it worked, at least for a little while. As we got older that didn't fly anymore you learned to just suck it up, life isn't always fair.
If I can't get my way, I should get monetary compensation. That is justice. If I find myself in circumstances, either by no fault of my own, or by my choices, I should receive help, that's justice. If you have more than I do, that's unjust. Give it to me, help me. If you are not doing that, you lack empathy. It's your fault, not mine. I can't help myself ! That is how distorted the lesson has become. God is removed from the equation, replaced by what ? Government ? Government helps those who help themselves ? Yes, if you help yourself to every program, entitlement and benefit available. Just be the victim. If that doesn't work, hire a lawyer, sue somebody, anybody over anything at all. As long as I get a " settlement " that's cool. I got Justice.
The problem with this philosophy is it leaves a person empty. You are made to feel like you are a failure ( victim ) and it continues. What is the motivation to continue ? Am I to hope for a big settlement one day ? Or is it the expectation that the world will change to suit me ? What about when neither of those actins take place ? Where do I turn then ? I turn to someone or something for help. I can join these groups screaming at the skies, parading in the streets, or meeting in dark corners. I can seek counseling, therapy and medications. I can even self medicate. All of these things because you failed to learn a simple life lesson. " God helps those who help themselves. "
You know, that isn't a Bible verse for a simple reason. It really has nothing to do with God. It has to do with yourself and the way you view the world around you. If you do the things that you know, in your heart, to be right, good things will happen. Positive outcomes stem from positive actions. Yes, bad things happen to good people. The bad comes from the actions of bad people, not a lack of protection from God. I believe in God and I don't believe he " allows " people to be bad so why should I believe God makes us good ? No, it's our choices that make the difference. Do good and good will find you. Do bad and bad will find you. Do not be content with being a survivor, be an example to others on how to survive. Help yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment