my advice

 It is the hot topic this week, sexual assault. What I see is further attempts to legislate virtue and morality. For some they call it empowerment, at long last their voices are being heard. It is a change in the dynamics of society. Is it equality ? Yes it is, and long overdue. I was taught from an early age to keep my hands to myself. It was never acceptable to touch another person, of either sex, unless a  clear indication was received that it was okay. It is a policy I have adhered to my entire adult life. I may have misinterpreted some signals I received while under the influence of adult beverages but I was quickly corrected. At no time did I ever take no as anything but no ! I struggle to write about the obvious.
 Now sexual assault includes unwanted speech as well. Everything from the cat call to lewd comments can be construed as an assault. In speech I was taught one didn't use coarse or vulgar language in front of the ladies. The reason was simple, the use of such language was inherently wrong and we knew that. But men are men aren't they ? What does that mean you say ? It means that the alpha male needs to show his dominance. He can do that with either brute strength or cunning, strong language is an expression of dominance. The perception has always been that a woman desires a strong man. That is the long and short of it. That is the image. Is it the truth ? There are as many answers to that as there are people. Is any of that an excuse for an assault ? Absolutely not.
 I can offer no explanation for the actions of these men. Does power wealth and fame cause this ? Do they do these things because they feel they can get away with it ? I can only guess and say, yeah that's probably it. As to why, I just don't understand. Are signals being sent ? All these ladies reporting these assaults certainly don't believe they have signaled anything. In fact almost all say they didn't report anything because of fear. Whether that fear was of losing their jobs or social consequences isn't the point. They all felt helpless.
 I can't help but wonder if a portion of this stems from the society we are living in today. The dynamic interaction between the sexes has certainly changed a good bit in the last fifty years. I'm not defending anything here, just trying to point some things out. Morality and virtue are viewed differently today. When society accepts, indeed embraces, promiscuity and gender neutrality the message does change. When " things " are openly discussed and become familiar, barriers are torn down. Subjects that were once only discussed in an intimate setting are now on billboards ! Even something as seemingly innocuous as words can have an impact. Consider the language in common use today. The ladies may use those terms that men only whispered among themselves. By doing so they are expressing their equality with men. Isn't that the intent ? Yes, I'd say that it was.
 I'm not saying women are asking for it. That is not the thinking here at all. What I am saying is that making certain choices opens the door. Again, I'm not saying women are asking for it, and I'm not saying it is alright for any man to walk through that door, just that an unintended signal is being sent.   The real issue is that women are not guys. Seem obvious enough to me. I expect it has changed somewhat because of social attitudes but as a general rule a man doesn't make unwanted advances towards another man. The reason is simple, there is no attraction there and getting punched in the mouth isn't pleasant. So what can a woman do ? I don't have an answer for any of it. As I said I was taught to just keep my hands to myself and watch my language around the ladies. Yes, ladies are different and should be treated accordingly. I don't know, as a man, I just don't get it. Just what makes them think any of this is alright ? I can't say for certain as I haven't won the lottery or anything but I seriously doubt that wealth or fame would change my morals or alter my conception of virtue.
 Well how long before men start complaining about women assaulting them ? It can't be far off. A few men have claimed to be raped but you don't hear much about that. Occasionally you hear about school teachers abusing students. If any gay guys have complained about their bosses requesting favors from them I haven't heard about that. If you think about it we have been attempting to legislate behaviors that were once understood clearly. Those behaviors were delineated in our religious texts. Morality and virtuous actions. Now we have begun to dismiss all of that in favor of legislation. That was the foundation. The erosion of that foundation will bring the whole deal down. History has borne that out and I see no reason it won't continue. There are extremes in everything. Chauvinists and Feminists. Still the fact remains despite all else, there are boys and girls. They are fundamentally different because their strength comes from different positions.
 I don't know, keep your hands to your self and keep your mouth shut. That's my advice. 

serendipity

 It is true that there are times when the simplest things give us pleasure. A while back I had my great grandfathers clock repaired and it sits there now marking the time once again. Every now and again I glance over and see that pendulum gliding back and forth and for some reason I find comfort there. It's nothing in particular , just an overall feeling of contentment. I remember that clock siting at my parents house but it was never running. It just sat on the shelf silently, the brass frame gathering tarnish. Even then I admired it for its' aesthetic beauty. The case was made by Tiffany and Company. The face of that clock is porcelain and hand painted with a delicate floral theme. My clock guy says that clock is over a hundred years old. All I know for sure is, I like it.
 The story behind that clock is uncertain. There were rumors that it was a wedding gift but that theory seems unlikely. That clock would have been a fairly expensive gift and my ancestors would not have had that amount to spend on a gift. They certainly weren't wealthy people and that would have been a wealthy person gift. There is also the fact that there is another clock, of similar value, that came from great grandfathers house. That clock is in the possession of my sister. It is close to the same age as the one I have. She tells me hers isn't running but is sitting on the mantle anyway. The mystery of where or how great grandfather came into possession of those clocks haunted me for some time. After some time Mom offers another theory. Why she never mentioned this before I'll never understand but for years all I got from her was, I don't know. But anyway, Mom says that great grandfather Lester worked for a wealthy lady whose name may have been Morris. Mrs. Morris I was told was quite fond of Floyd, as an employer to an employee. I have a picture of him raking leaves in this ladies yard. He was in his later years then, probably in his seventies. Even then, social security didn't pay much and you needed to supplement that. When Mrs. Morris either moved or passed away great grandfather was given those clocks. That is the theory Mom has and it seems plausible enough. Truth is I will never know the whole story but it doesn't matter much. The story of that clock begins with my great grandfather in my telling of it. I think of him every time I hear it strike the hour or half hour. It has become a piece of  home. It's like an old friend.
 I do find it comforting that it sits there marking the time. It just seems so serendipitous. I remember it sitting on that shelf at home unused and neglected. It wasn't something I ever asked for, there was no great longing on my part. I came to get it after my father passed away. Mom was getting remarried and cleaning out her house. For whatever reason she decided she didn't want this clock, or the other one for that matter, and gave the one to me. I had it for a good while before I got it repaired. It is my hope that clock remains in the family for generations to come. I'll certainly record the history of it as best as I know. I can't help but wonder where it will land a hundred years from now. Wherever that is I also hope it is still marking the time. Time, relentless and unchanging. Serendipity indeed.

   

just fragments

I am the youngest of four. I celebrated my 64th birthday this past July. I talk with mom at least once a week. Mom is 88. My question is then, why was I surprised to realize my brother is 68 ! Just how did that happen ? Well, I think I know the answer to that. You see, I haven't been around my brother all that much over the last forty years. Isn't that a strange thing ? It is just that he was busying living his life and I have been busy with mine. We don't live in the same town and so just lost touch. That's because in my world guys don't touch all that much, that's a girl thing. I live in the world of the sixties, the 1960's that is. It is from that era I received the majority of my customs, attitudes and thoughts. Not known for being a progressive sort of man, I stick with the tired and true for the most part. Guys don't write each other letters, or call much, unless we have something important to say. Guess I haven't had much I felt the need to report on all these years. Something how forty years can pass with barely a notice.
  This realization came about in a casual conversation. My wife asked, how old is your brother ? After counting it up, I answered 68 and that is when it hit me. Sixty eight ? Yup, no denying the math, he was born in 1949. My eldest brother, born in 1947, passed almost three years ago. I did spend some time with him before he passed, wishing now it had been more. He only lived twenty miles away from me the last twenty years or so, but we rarely connected. It's true that we only shared fragments in time when we did get together. Recently I have spoken with my brother, the living one, and that is the way it is with him also. We share fragments of our lives. The reason is because we do not know each other anymore, not really, we just share common memories. And yes, even those memories aren't exactly the same. These days we are more like old friends reconnecting after years apart. Our lives are a bit of mystery to each of us. It is quite a bit different if you were there, know what I mean ?
 Some of this thinking came later in the day as I was watching a Waltons special. It was about Thanksgiving and the Waltons had all grown older. The year was 1963. John Boy was an author and journalist, Jim Bob was flying airplanes, Ben was arguing with his Dad at the mill, and Grandma was still there. I know it is only a television story but all those brothers and sisters were still sharing their lives with one another. That made me realize what had happened in mine. For a long time my life wasn't shared with my brothers or my sister. We had " grown up " but grown apart. Instead of remaining brothers and sister we had become " adults " with adult secrets. Yeah, it sounds juicy doesn't it, adult secrets. The fact is those secrets are really just our mistakes and misfortunes. We try to keep those things secret. When you have brothers and a sister there isn't much kept secret that is certain. Once we become adults, move away, keeping secrets becomes a lot easier. But there is a price to pay for that secrecy, just like everything else. You get old and you begin to miss what you had all those years ago. Thing is, your siblings are the only ones. You can't replace your siblings. You can form new bonds, new friendships, and even new relatives, but not new siblings.
 I guess what I'm trying to say is this. When we grow up, leave the nest and strike out on our own, we can lose contact. Depending upon the situation that contact can become a complete separation. That is what has happened with me. Now I'm older, he's older, heck we are all older, and all we have are fragments. Is it possible to put those fragments back together again ? The truth is, we can not. I think the best we can hope for is sharing our stories. Ideally we could do that without judgment. But we are talking about siblings here : judgement ? Oh, you are going to be judged. Are you willing to be judged ? I think I am. At this point in my life, with my remaining siblings I am ready. The question is, are they ?        

just pondering

 My sister shared a quote with me from one of her favorite authors. " Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be, and embracing who we are. " ( Brene Brown.) This lady is the author of four New York times best sellers. For lack of a better description they are self help books. Ms. Brown is a social scholar. I haven't read any of those books though and likely never will. I do believe she would be an interesting person to have a discussion with, depending upon who she thinks she is. You can't know that until you meet face to face and have a chat. Public appearances and talks rarely expose the real person. I believe we all have two sides.  I say this knowing the way I write my thoughts isn't always the way I would say them. I do think I write better than I speak simply because writing takes longer. Something I find annoying are those that speak one word at a time. Do you know what I mean ? When they make a statement with a slight pause between each word, as though they are carefully selecting every syllable. Makes me question the sincerity of those words. But anyway, I wrote that quote on a notepad next to my computer and have been considering those words.
 Ms. Brown says to let go of who we think we are supposed to be and embrace who we are. After a few readings I began to question that advice. I believe you would have to qualify that statement quite a bit and that it doesn't stand alone. As I said, I haven't read any of her books and so I can't say if she qualifies that statement or not. It can be a bad thing to take quotes out of context. This is an example of that. To begin with, who are we supposed to be ? That a good question all by itself. I would say first and foremost we should be a good citizen of the world. We should be a good person. How that " goodness " is defined certainly varies from culture to culture. What is good ? Following that she adds, embracing who we are.  Well, what if we are a bad person ? Should we embrace that ? Is that the advice, be the best you can be, as long as you are authentic ? I don't think that is what she means though, as I said, context is important here.
 I'm thinking that Ms. Brown is really saying to be authentic you have to understand and admit to your limitations. Embracing who you are is accepting that. That isn't to say we shouldn't try to do the things that please us, just understand your limits. I mean, like writing for instance, I enjoy writing and so pursue that, all the while realizing I'm no Mark Twain, nor likely to become one. As I have gotten older I have learned to embrace that more, not being embarrassed to have my works read by others. That could be said about any number of things. We often label them hobbies. Hobbies are the things we do, not expecting others to take them seriously. If whatever we do is met with criticism, we can dismiss that with the statement, it's just a hobby.
 The big question in all of this is knowing who we are supposed to be. Do we even get to choose ? Well, we are a product of our choices right ? If we only make good choices only good things will happen, right ? Wrong, we all know that isn't the case. Bad things happen to good people. I'm thinking that Ms. Brown should have said, let go of what you feel is expected of you , rather than, letting go of who you think you are supposed to be. I say that because we often feel like we are expected to be one thing but feel we are another. Why do we feel this need to fill the expectations of others ? We do so because we want to be liked and/or loved. Friendships are measured in expectations. When others do not meet our expectations, or we fail to meet theirs, the friendship fades away. That is the truth of it, however harsh it may sound. That is authentic. That is letting go. There are friendships that reach a plateau where we no longer expect anything, those are the ones that last a lifetime, through distance and time. Love has no expectations and so is not measured against that standard.
 Do we have a right to expect anything ? Stephen Hawking said, " When one's expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have. " I don't agree with everything that Hawking says, or thinks, but I do with this one. No doubt he is a smart guy. I think what is being said is letting go of expectations is the key to true happiness. It really is as Grandma said, expect nothing and you won't be disappointed. Amazing isn't it how we say the same things over and over again and yet they appear as an inspiration ?     

getting ready

 It's that time of year again when I reminisce about gathering the pines for Christmas. It is also when I long for a piece of white birch to make a Yule log with. Among my childhood memories those are some of my favorites. Living on the edge of Northwest woods I, along with my brothers, would be dispatched to gather the greens. Princess pine and running pine were the primary targets. We knew exactly where to go for those items and so it was a fairly easy process. Getting some white pine for making wreaths and such wasn't that difficult just not as much fun to collect. After you cut fresh pine you will get sap on your hands and I hate that. Yes you can wear gloves, doesn't matter, you will get sap on your hands anyway. Still, gathering up some pine cones, holly, and maybe even a piece of mistletoe was a great tradition.
 Getting a piece of white birch suitable for making a yule log was the most difficult part. You didn't want to cut down the whole tree. The reason was simple, there weren't that many good trees to choose from. Not all white birch trees look like they do in pictures. Finding one with more white bark than black isn't easy. My brothers and I knew where to go to find some of those trees and you had to climb up them to cut a decent branch. If we could get one about four or five inches in diameter that is about right. You do need a smaller one to cut some feet for that log. We had the same pattern in mind for construction and didn't deviate from that. Thinking back I chuckle about that, we would fret about the construction so, like it was a law. Had to be three candles long with two cross pieces. Only red candles would do, and they had to be tapers ! When I was little I thought " tapers " were something special, just for Christmas. The decorations were always pine stapled to the log and embellished with pine cones, berries and a ribbon. Sometimes we even " sprayed " that fake snow on there.
 The Yule log was a tradition because Grandma came from Sweden. I somehow inferred that everyone in Sweden had a Yule log at Christmas. I also remember Grandma telling me about the girls wearing candles in their hair. They wore a crown like thing that held those candles. Since my childhood days I have read about this tradition and informed myself. As a kid all I knew and remembered was girls wearing candles in their hair and was amazed. Grandma also had a carousel for lack of a better term, that spun by lighting candles under  a fan. The fan would rotate and four angels would fly, hitting a bell as they went past. I loved that thing as a kid and have purchased one for myself. Funny, the one I bought for myself doesn't hold that same fascination. I guess it just doesn't hold that same sense of mystery that Grandma's had. After all, hers came from a foreign land ! I wonder what ever happened to that ?
 I can get lost in nostalgia at this time of year and I'm certain many others do too. It can lead to depression if you allow that. Yes, it can be a sadness, a longing for the things of the past, that put a damper on things. I miss when the kids were little and got so excited for Santa Claus and all of that. Personally I never told my kids anything different, rather I let them discover that themselves. I'm thinking they knew a number of years before they let on that they did. Then I had the grandkids and it was a repeat performance. Well maybe one day I will see that in great grandkids. I can't help but think it isn't as it used to be though. You know, when the first appearance of Santa was at the end of the Macy day parade instead of the 4th of July ! I do believe it removes a great deal of the mystery surrounding that. Ah well, I'm equally as certain that memories are being created today that will be just as important to the kids today, as mine are to me. That's because it isn't about objects really, it is about family, friends and indeed mankind in general. That is the message. That is what we are preparing for. We have good reason to celebrate and be happy ! 

getting away

 It was nice to " get away " for a few days. I'm not sure what I am getting away from seeing as I am retired and not exactly committed to being in any one place at any one time, but I got away. It is more like a change of scenery than anything else. I went to my sons house and so the family, the characters in the play, were all the same. Something tells me getting away should be with strangers, like hiding out or something. I can't call it a mini-vacation , what would I be taking a vacation from ? Well, I'm sticking with , I got away. It was a pleasant time without any stress, like I have any stress in my life. I did worry about losing the cell phone signal driving through the mountains. Now that's stress ! Seriously though maybe that is why " old people " stress about such mundane things as a doctors appointment. I know, I am " old people " and make a conscious effort not to stress about such things. I am made aware of that tendency whenever I talk to my mother. Mom is 88 and stresses about everything. She needs to go to the store and plans for it like an expedition to Everest ! She can't " get away " because the getting would be too stressful.  Of course I often listen to her complain about not seeing anyone but when someone comes to visit she stresses out about that ! Well, old people problems is what I chalk that stuff up to. I've decided I will not stress out about these old people things. Yes, I will get older, sometimes I stress about that, thinking I might not get older, but I'm not going to think about that. I don't know, the older I get the more I'm thinking this being retired is just too stressful. I mean you have to decide what to do every day. Now I'm thinking I need to " get away " again.
 I see all those commercials about planning for retirement on television and think, I should have done that. It was just that I figured why plan for what was going to happen anyway ? Yeah I know they are talking about having enough money for retirement. Well, I'm retired and I didn't save up for it, it just happened. Should I be stressed out about that ? I guess I should because I can't afford to be on vacation every day like they are in those commercials. Those folks are busying filling their bucket lists. Hah, I fooled them all and never bought a bucket ! It's not that I wouldn't want to have a list, and work on filling it, but it isn't a priority in my life. My priority is making it to the next day. Then deciding what to do with it ? Do I have to do anything with it at all ? Waste not-want not is what I was always told. Some folks work to get the things they want, and some work to get the things they need. I've always been one to work for what I need, wants comes secondary to that. It has been my experience that as long as you get what you need, the wants will take care of themselves. I didn't plan on retiring knowing it would happen sooner or later. No need to stress about what you can't change.
 So now it is time to decorate for Christmas. This year I am anxious. In years past I have not always been so, thinking the kids are grown and all that, so why bother. But this year I have a different attitude. This year I'm Ho HO Ho . Maybe it is compensation for all the bad news I have received this past year. Some years do seem rougher than others. I can't put my finger on it, there is no one specific thing that happened, more like a string of them, that has caused this line of thought. 2017 just hasn't been a stellar year. I have to remind myself to remain grateful for all that I have received this year. I have gotten my needs filled. Yes, there are things I want, but I have what I need. And so, I will decorate for the season, giving thanks by doing so. I will celebrate and not " stress " about doing so. That would be an " old person thing ", stressing about celebrating ! Nothing like " getting away " to relieve some stress. Whew, who knew being retired was this stressful.

blame Swanson

 I want to begin by thanking Edie, a friend and fellow author, among her many other talents, for inspiring todays blog. Edie was writing about using disposable dinnerware for her Thanksgiving table. She went on to relate how in the past she used the good china and all of that. Several other folks left comments on that subject and it got me thinking. I too remember Mom getting out the good dishes, putting the linen on the table and even candles ! Yes Thanksgiving dinner was a big event and a formal one. Proper attire was required and proper deportment while at the table, no elbows ! It was the only dinner I recall the family saying grace at. As much as I would like to paint a different picture, that just wasn't so. I have no explanation for that other than it didn't happen. Well, my point is, it happened at Thanksgiving dinner, that's how important that dinner was.
 The more I thought about it the more I realized just how formal an affair that dinner was. Monies were spent for all the frills, nothing was held back. The table was set with the best we had , we wore our Sunday clothes, on a Thursday, and civility was the order of the day. That old story of everyone arguing with each other at Thanksgiving didn't happen at my house. Step out of line and you would be quickly reprimanded. You didn't get off easy by being sent out of the room either ! You were corrected and then had to demonstrate you had learned your lesson, no matter how grudgingly you did so. I can remember staring into my mashed potatoes having been corrected on some fine point of etiquette, like elbows on the table, or reaching in front of someone else. Yes it was demanded, at least on this one day, at this one meal, that you would behave yourself as a proper young gentleman. May I please have the salt ? Even Dad took his hat off at the table ! You just knew it was special.
 I was born in 1953 and so the Thanksgivings from my childhood would have taken place in the 1960's. In the 1960's families were still eating at the kitchen table. Supper was a set time of the day. We ate around six. That was supper time, be there or have a good reason not to be. When the evening meal was over, it was over. No microwave to reheat stuff and very little snack foods. There might be a bag of chips or pretzels but little else. But something else happened in 1953 as well. The TV dinner was introduced ! Following that came those TV snack trays, I have a set in the closet to this day. You still had to heat those dinners in the oven but now dinner got moved to the living room ! I'm thinking it was the beginning of the decline in civility ! Families no longer gathered at the supper table, the formality of eating a meal together was fractured. In 1967 Amana introduced their first Radar range ( a microwave for you younger folks ) and the fate of supper was sealed. And today, today a meal can be unwrapped, zapped and consumed just about anywhere. No set time, whatever is convenient. I wonder if any of this has any relationship to the obesity epidemic we are seeing in America ? Well that's for another day.
 I was just wondering what if ? What if we hadn't invented TV dinners. What if they had been called TV suppers ? Supper was eaten in the kitchen, dinner was eaten in the dining room. We didn't have a formal dining room, but the living room was transformed for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm thinking that TV dinners destroyed the dining room, didn't need them anymore when you could eat diner in front of the television. The family room was born. We started eating TV dinners  for supper !
 What if we still had to cook our meals, with real pots and pans over real fires ? Would families stay more connected ? Sharing food and drink with our families and friends does create bonds, that is well known. No one likes washing the dishes that can't be denied. In the 1960's the automatic dishwasher came into being. Still we all know they need to be rinsed before going in there and if there are a lot the machine is never big enough. The solution is disposable dishes ! Yup, that is what the TV dinner started. Those aluminum foil pans were designed to be thrown away, no need to set the table, no need to dirty dishes, just throw them out.
 As a man, a hunter gatherer, I must say sitting at the head of the table, overlooking the food I have provided for my family I do get a sense of accomplishment. I have reason to give thanks ! Isn't that a part of the tradition ? Some will label me a chauvinist for saying so, but it is a primal instinct. I'm thinking we would be better off if more men felt that instinct today ! It does provide a time to talk over the day, share our experiences and accomplishments. Ah but that is so 60's. Just zap your dinner and head to the mall, that's how it is done in 2017 ! Shoot just buy a fried turkey leg at the mall and skip the whole deal. You are going to need your rest for black Friday after all. No time for cooking and cleaning ! And you can blame Swanson and their TV dinners for all of that. 

seek the constant

 I've been writing and sharing my thoughts for about seven years now. It's hard to believe but the evidence is there. I do read them over every now and again. A title will catch my interest and I wonder what I was talking about. No, I don't remember everything I have ever written. I remember the stories, for the most part, but not necessarily the thoughts. I am pleased that my thoughts haven't changed very much from when I started. Oh, I know, the current narrative says I should be constantly changing my mind about things, being progressive and all, but I don't see what is wrong with just making a decision and sticking to it. I see a lot of folks stating the obvious and declaring that as some sort of revelation. Examples include, don't be a bully and don't be a racist. Yeah, see that a lot. Thing is, I've known that since childhood and it hasn't changed since. I pretty much feel the same way about most things. Fact is I can't think of any fundamental change I have made. I still believe in God, I still believe in telling the truth, and I still believe that most people are good. I still trust my instincts however, and act or react accordingly. Sometimes I'm accused of being prejudiced because of that. I call it having common sense and exercising discretion. Better safe than sorry ! Remember that old saying ?
 I understand their are few absolutes in the world. The sun will rise in the east and set in the west is one of them. What happens between those two events is less certain. It is up to you to provide a stable foundation. You can't live a life filled with chaos. In order to gain that stability you have to decide upon some things. Constantly changing your " beliefs " will not give you a solid basis for living. Oh you may gain temporary acceptance among others like yourself, but in the long run it will all come crumbling down. The reason is obvious, you don't have a solid foundation, when you rely upon public opinion to prop you up. You can't just keep changing your mind to please others. Others are not living your life ! And that, my friends, is what I think about that. I may not have much, but my life is my own. Along with that, my mission is not to change your life. Should you agree with me that's wonderful, should you disagree that's alright too. There is room enough for us all. We can talk it over and hopefully reach a compromise. Compromise isn't me saying you're right and I'm wrong. Seems a lot of folks are confused about that these days. Compromise isn't picking a side, it is standing in the middle.
 I suspect if I were to read all my postings as a whole I could find inconsistencies. Would those inconsistencies be were I changed my mind ? I don't think that is necessarily so. Our mood plays a big role in all of that. It does depend upon what was happening at the time I wrote that piece. There are things I haven't made my mind up about. Yes, there are things I just haven't made a final decision on. Those are the things that haven't really affected me ; yet. Maybe they never will. Knowing how you will react to a new situation is always speculation, no matter how prepared you may feel. Your initial response may be exactly as you thought it would be only to discover later on, it isn't ! Don't you hate it when you are faced with the truth. Those are the times that test our character.
 I think what we should be seeking are the constants. How can you define anything without having a constant to compare it against ? We are all searching for answers, answers to life. We all ask the same questions. We are never going to arrive at the same answers if we don't have a set of constants. Just like doing a mathematical problem, a constant is required. The constant must be defined. You have to define your own constants in order to arrive at your answers. If you rely upon others to define those constants you will not get an answer at all. All you will get is disappointment and disillusioned. A lot of that happening these days. 

throwing stones

 I listened to a potion of the news yesterday. I admit I haven't been paying as close attention as I used too. The reasons for that are many but the primary one is, I'm taking a break. Anyway I did hear a group of people protesting Roy Moore and his run for the senate. This particular group were proclaiming themselves Christians and calling Roy Moore an extremist ! That's correct. They were saying that Roy Moore is a Christian extremist and therefore unfit to run for office. One group of Christians opposing him and his supporters. I admit it is the first time I heard anyone called a Christian extremist ! It gave me pause, a reason to think about what was being alleged here. If a person is an extremist what is that implying ? What fanatical measures is this man proposing ? That is what an extremist does, take extreme or fanatical actions. What has he done ? I know what he is being accused of and that action has nothing to do with his religious beliefs. It is certainly upsetting to others holding Christian beliefs if true. But the question is, what kind of extremist is he ? They say a Christian extremist.
 Okay I understands there are many ways you can interpret what that means. To me, a Christian extremist would emulate Jesus as closely as possible. He, or she, would be turning the other cheek,  spreading the word of God, loving his neighbors as himself and all of that. Now that would be an extreme Christian. He certainly wouldn't be molesting children ! You would have to be a very bad Christian to do that, hardly an extreme Christian. The whole thing of one group of Christians calling another Christian an extremist just seems so, what's the word, unchristian ! Is it the pot calling the kettle black ? Just which one is the extremist ? I wouldn't call those that were involved with the Inquisition very Christian, although they certainly thought so. What is this group that is calling for the public shaming, indeed demanding he resign from the race, based on nothing more than accusations ? Other " Christians " did that with the witch hunts in Salem, remember that ? I just find it all very disturbing when one group of Christians is calling another group names ! Is this what we have come to ?
 I know of no portion in my Bible, Old or New testament that says pedophilia should be practiced. Oh, there is plenty of violence in the Bible no doubt about that. That violence was always directed by God to a certain individual to perform. The Bible doesn't say I personally have to commit any act of violence to attain entrance into heaven. The Bible does tell me all the things that are displeasing to my God. In modern times if I commit an act of violence, or any number of things saying God told me to do it, that reason will be suspect. Many that claim to be Christians will immediately deny that saying God wouldn't tell you to do that ! We even swear on the Bible as proof that we are telling the truth. If I swear on the Bible that God told me to do it, will it be believed ? Maybe, and if it is I will be sent to the nut house ! That's the truth of that.
 Look I don't know if Roy Moore is guilty or not. That is just my point. It's one thing for the public in general to say, I think he is guilty. We are all entitled to our opinions. That is why we have a court of law however, to separate opinion from fact. I find it very disturbing that a group of Christians would start accusing another person of being too Christian ! Isn't that what they are really saying. You are just too Christian for us, we condemn you without a trial. We are without sin and therefore we will throw the first stone ! Well, I think that is a bit extreme, you should too.   

giving life to dreams

  Yesterday I was writing about what we remember, and how we remember it. I was asked for an explanation and my best response was, " that's my story and I'm sticking to it. " That is a line from a song performed by Collin Raye. In the song he was making excuses to his wife. We have all been guilty of doing that and when caught in the web, just stick to the lie. There isn't much else you can do at times. We are very much aware of the truth, yet choose to tell a different version. That isn't exactly what I meant by my posting, but it is the general idea. The lie isn't intended to cause harm, in fact its' purpose is to ease the pain. Yes, it is our pain that we are trying to assuage. Self preservation is a strong instinct in man.
 As the day went on and I considered what I had written further, I arrived at this conclusion. There are times when our memories give life to our dreams. I'm thinking that is why my memory of an event can be so different from yours. I have rewritten the script. I get to choose what I remember and how I wish to remember it. I am giving life to a past dream. It isn't intended to hurt anyone, its' intent is therapeutic. Holding onto good memories, even if they are a dream, makes aging more tolerable.
We all live with an awareness of our mortality. We do so even when we are young. Yes, many of us think we are invincible when we are teenagers and young adults, but the older we get the more we become aware of the truth. The future becomes more uncertain and so we must rely upon the past. Might as well make that past as pleasant as possible. That's my thinking anyway. I give life to my dreams. I remember things the way I wish they had gone, as I said yesterday, I remember my intentions. If your intentions were good, the memories will be as well. There are times when we must excuse ourselves, and so a little tweak to the story is necessary. It is that tweak the others may notice and call you out on. That is when I stick to the story ! That's what I remember. Self preservation and forgiveness come to the forefront.
 Our memories give life to our dreams. Dreams can be pleasant or unpleasant. So too, our memories. It is all in what we choose to remember. Remember the bad, and that is what you will live. Remember the good, and that is what you will live. We do more living in the past than we do in the present.That realization is a product of aging. For that reason I say store up the good memories, the good dreams to enjoy in the present, try to stay in comfortable places. You know what is comfortable ? The places we have already been. Throw a new coat of paint on them, enjoy them all over again. 

what I remember

 Occasionally I write a story from my childhood, or young adulthood, although you would be hard pressed to tell which is which sometimes. I am writing it the way I remember it. That isn't to say that it is necessarily factual. I do tend to remember the things I want to remember, the way I want to remember them. I think that is true for the majority of us. It isn't a conscious decision to do so, it is just a habit. What we are recording are our intentions, not the actual result. We know how the story should have ended. When the story didn't end the way we had envisioned, we just change the plot. In that way the desired result is achieved. It is a convenient mental health tool.
 We do this because we can't know the intentions of others. We know our motivations and intentions most of the time, although there are times I get lost, but we have to go forward by trusting others. There are times when the others don't cooperate with our plans. It is those times that change the story. Others are changing the plot and we resist that. I know what I want. When others change the plot it isn't necessarily a bad thing, but we almost always interpret it that way. The reason is obvious, we don't know how the story will end. In our mind we know how our story ends and so are confident in that. It is a trust issue. How many times has the story come out well after having followed this advice, trust me ? You know what I mean ?
 I was thinking about this because I was considering writing a story from those younger days. Those days would of course include people from that time period. Those folks would be aware of the story and the characters involved. The only problem with that is I'm quite certain they remember the story quite differently. I wouldn't want to upset anyone. I'll confess I do get annoyed when my remembrances are challenged. Hey, these are my memories and you can't tell me they are wrong ! But, they are just that, my memories, and aren't presented as historical facts ! They are subject to interpretation. People sometimes do that with dreams as well. When we alter our memory of events are we creating dreams ? I believe that is exactly what we are doing. It is how the story should have ended.
 Not every story has a happy ending, I am very much aware of that. We often hear how our lives are like a book and there are different chapters in that book. I agree with that analogy, it's just that I'm thinking in terms of paragraphs ! I do have a tendency to examine each and every line. I hesitate to change anything without having first seen the result. This has lead me down some roads I wish I hadn't traveled at all. You can't rewrite the book, but you can rewrite the paragraph ! Then the result isn't so unexpected and its' impact lessened. That is what we are doing with those memories. It is nothing more than a reinterpretation of the facts. I can't be responsible for what you believe.
 I'm thinking that this is just a mechanism for survival. It is designed to prevent us from dwelling  on the bad. I have known, and still know, some folks that haven't mastered this technique. They spend a great deal of their time languishing in their mistakes, saying what if. I rewrite the paragraph and so make the mistake a part of the story. That is how I can set it aside. It isn't that I place the fault on others, although that is sometimes helpful, I remind myself that I can't know the motivations or intentions of others. Then lacking that information I can further determine it really wasn't my fault. See how that works ? It's your fault, but not your fault. It then falls into the fate category. I have no control over fate. What I can control is what I remember. 

normal

 This is one of those rare mornings when I have little to say. I know, I'm surprised myself. Now I'm not saying I don't have a few opinions to share just that no one topic rises to the top. About a week ago I  was " unfriended " by someone. I'm still chuckling about that. Guess I touched a nerve. Well I can't bring myself to apologize for telling my truth. The comment that got me " unfriended " wasn't a direct personal attack on one person, but rather a generalized statement. Well, water under the bridge. Still it bugs me, nagging at my conscience. I'll keep examining that exchange.
 The big news is that Trump is killing the elephants ! Yes, that's what I hear. Because his sons are big game hunters he is now allowing all the elephants to be killed. Those elephants will be extinct by the end of his term ! Personally I think the story is being sensationalized just a bit. Well that's what the news people do these days. They seem to have all attended the Chicken Little school of Journalism. Every event, every decision, every accusation, is spelling disaster for the American way of life. We need the Democratic party to rescue us from ourselves. If only the election hadn't been influenced by the Russians and the electoral college hadn't done their job, Hillary would be president right now.
 Closer to home, in the city of Baltimore, an 18 year veteran detective was shot in the head and has passed away. A reward of 169,000 dollars is offered for information. That makes over 300 killed so far this year. It is those violent guns ! The mayor did show up on television saying she wasn't happy about any of that. Meanwhile, other officers are having administrative hearings because they did their jobs. The rioters were left unpunished, but the Police are under scrutiny. The government gave money to Baltimore to help in the rebuilding efforts. I think the newest plan is to try to " entitle " the thugs off the street.
 And then we have all this stuff about sexual misconduct. If it isn't movie stars , it's politicians. The accusations are flying fast and furious. One politician in particular is being vilified in the press and by Senators alike. They have gone so far as to indicate if he stays in the race and wins the election he will not be allowed to assume that office. Yes, think about that, our representatives are now threatening to decide who can assume office based on accusations alone. At the same time a currently serving Senator has pretty much admitted to sexual misconduct and no one is calling for his dismissal. Hypocrisy at its' finest ! And it doesn't matter what party or candidate is involved, that is not the point. Some are saying, well it wasn't that bad, he was just being funny. It was before he was elected so it doesn't count. So, you're saying because he did this five or six years ago it's alright ? But, if a woman accuses you of an offense from forty years ago, that's very bad, disqualifying even, no trial necessary !
 That's my random thoughts for this morning. Guess I'm getting old and starting to repeat myself. Fact is, I've been doing that for a while. I do believe there are things you can decide upon that never need to be changed. I understand that is a foreign concept to some. For some life is all about constant change. Really it is about what makes life easier for them, but they call it progress. Not everything can be improved, not everything needs to change. Take the wheel for instance. Round wheels are the best ones !
    

a society of appeasement

 We often hear the phrase, the times are changing, in response to bad things happening. But is it time that changes, or is it people that change ? Einstein does say that time is a variable, in relation to motion, but in a different context. I'll leave explaining the universe and space time to him. What I'm thinking about is why people are responding in the fashion that they are. You know, all the terrible things we hear about in the news. Terrorists are everywhere it seems. Common citizens are attacking innocent people for no other purpose other than to kill. Just what is going on here ? Are the times really changing or is it the people ?
 I don't think it is necessarily people that are changing.  I don't believe much in the general nature of mankind has changed since ancient times. The same motivations drive our choices today as they did hundreds of years ago. Read any history book, read the Bible, read any religious text for that matter and it becomes clear. The motivations to do wrong are always the same. People haven't changed all that much since ancient times. For that reason I would have to conclude " education " has little to do with any of that. Really doesn't matter if you are a professor or just a pauper, the motivations are basically the same. The issue has been, and still remains, in defining what is wrong. And as far as man goes, right and wrong is determined by the society in which we live. It is society that is changing.
 I keep hearing about all the changes we need to make. We need gun control, we need mental health services, we need food banks and affordable housing, we need to be more inclusive, we need to be more accepting and on and on. It is society and the what we have allowed it to become that has brought us to where we are ! I agree we need to change things. We need to change them back to what they used to be. Oh, I'm not saying it was perfect in the past, I'm not saying there weren't injustices. What I am saying is our society was more civilized in the past than it is right now ! And just why is that ? In my estimation is the removal of accountability from the individual, and placing that accountability on government. You can not try moral offenses in a civil court. Make no mistake about it, what we are seeing here is moral decay. That decay is being fostered by the state, by society in general.
 The question is what moral state should we be attempting to maintain ? Regardless of any arguments to the contrary this country, this society was founded on Judeo-Christian values and ideals. The founding fathers spoke of this, wrote about it and codified it. It is right there in those documents for anyone to read. I think it is safe to say that our society flourished under those guidelines. I think it is also safe to say our society is degenerating the farther we move away from those values, those standards of moral conduct. It is clearly stated in the declaration of Independence with this paragraph, " We,Therefore, the representatives of the United States of America, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do in the Name, and by the authority of these colonies, solemnly publish and declare " and it continues from there. Note the appeal to the Supreme Judge of the world ? Just who were they referring too ? The obvious response is now being rejected by many, indeed being rejected by the very representatives that are signing legislation ! Why ? For the same reason mankind has always rejected that. It calls for accountability to a Supreme Judge. A Judge that can not be bribed, a Judge that remains impartial. A Judge without bias.
 Every major religion in the world teaches one thing. Their God is the only God. Christians have the first commandment that clearly states, Thou shalt have no other Gods before me. God and " gods " have been used as the motivation for many things in this world, both good and bad. Belief in the " rectitude " of our actions should be the guideline. In my opinion we have begun to set aside rectitude in favor of appeasement. That is what has changed. People haven't changed all that much, our society certainly has. Our society was established with the " rectitude of our intentions " clearly stated. It has being modified by appeasement of the people and by appeasement of our legislators. It is my belief until we return to the intent of appeasing the Supreme Judge our society will continue to decline. Even a cursory review of history and the great societies will bear that out. History does repeat.       

justifiably armed ?

 I have read several stories about reactions to that horrific church shooting in Texas. As is expected they range from doing nothing, to the extreme opposite. Naturally emotions are high. There are some that are calling for the parishioners to come armed. Some are for placing a rifle in the pulpit ! Armed guards and security checks ? As tragic an event as that Texas shooting was, I struggle to justify taking such actions. I was taught, and unless something has changed, that places of worship are the house of God. It just doesn't seem right to turn them into armed fortresses.
 I remember when I was young the church doors were never locked. You were always welcome. The idea of locking the door at night wasn't a thing. I can't say for sure when that changed or exactly why. I expect it was because of vandalism, theft or other behaviors making it a necessity. That was the response to those that would do evil, we tried to just lock them out. The idea that someone would rob or otherwise cause damage to a church just wasn't thought about. It truly was a different time in America. Social attitudes were far different. I do have to say I was living in a very rural area and crime in general was very low. In larger cities and towns the circumstances may have been different. But, in my experience, locking the doors of the church caused a bit of consternation, not only to myself, but to the community in general. Truth is, it still does on a personal level. Now I'm hearing about arming ourselves before we go to church. Suit and tie and a forty five.
 The church should be a bastion of Christian values. I do not believe we should turn them into fortresses. Shouldn't we be trusting our God to defend us ? I'm having a hard time reconciling the idea that I should come armed, ready to defend myself, while praising the Lord. If we feel the necessity to go armed to church, shouldn't we be armed at all times ? The possibility exists that another person with a gun will attempt to do harm wherever we go. If we feel that threat so strongly in our churches and synagogues, why not the grocery store or Burger King ? The case can then be made for everyone being armed, everywhere, all the time. The notion that there are armed people that will only use their weapon for good ( the white hats ) and there are those that only use their guns for bad ( the black hats ) is a fiction made in Hollywood. And proper training will not negate the possibility of mistakes being made. Remember when it comes to gun battles the one shooting first usually wins ! That's just how that works.
 The consequences of these choices are life and death. Yes, I believe we have a right to defend ourselves. At the same time Jesus did teach to turn the other cheek. He said in regard to the statement about an eye for an eye verses in the old testament. I understand the majority of us are not up to that task. I can say, without reservation, that I am not. I will defend myself. I will fall short in the eyes of God and rely upon his mercy. That doesn't mean that I should take that mercy for granted, I will be judged ! As I have stated before, Remember : you only have to fear judgement if you are guilty. Does God judge you innocent if you come armed, ready for a fight ? Is it justified if you don't fire first ?  I have no answer for any of  this. I'm thinking it comes down to deciding what you fear more, the judgement of a crazed gunman, or the judgement of God. Granted the one is more immediate than the other. Truly these are times that test our faith.
 I think about all of this while supporting the second amendment. Yes, I do believe we all have a right to bear arms. A well armed militia is necessary to the security of a free state. Soldiers have always had to set aside their religious belief to justify war. The old testament is full of violence. We had the crusades to reclaim the Holy lands. So, it is not unheard of, this notion of, Onward Christian Soldiers. The difficulty lies in reconciling the two. The difficulty comes from trying to reconcile Gods law with mans law. That is why the separation of church and state in the first place. God will not judge us in civil matters, only in matters of faith. That is what God demands of us, faith. Then the question becomes, can you separate faith from civil responsibility ? You can, as long as you don't use one to justify the other. It is a civil responsibility to protect those around me from harm as best as I can. I have no right to stand idly by relying solely upon my belief for intervention on another's behalf. I can " turn my cheek " but that doesn't relieve me of an obligation to help you. That is a social responsibility. We have even made law regarding that. We call them " good Samaritan " laws. I can't just walk by you as you lie in distress saying, God will save you. Does that mean I have an obligation to carry a gun to church ? Does that mean you are wrong to carry a gun to church ? Again I am left wondering. 

Judgemental ?

 It is come to the forefront of my thinking the last few days. You have that Ray Moore guy running for a senate seat. Some reporter from the Washington Post finds a woman that then accuses this Moore fella of inappropriate behavior from 39 years ago. All at once he is convicted in public opinion. To make matters worse several current politicians and even the current governor of Maryland is telling this guy to just step down. You can only assume they all believe him to be guilty. Now I'm not saying he is or isn't guilty, I have no idea. Yes, I am completely impartial. Only by listening to the news cast did I know anything of him at all. I hear he is a republican candidate. I also heard he had some issues in the past but not serious enough to disbar him, as he is still a Judge. What I don't understand is why the public condemnation of this particular person ! Are we not innocent until proven guilty ? It sure doesn't seem that way in this case. Sadly I am not surprised about that but I am surprised that current politicians and lawmakers are condemning him ! Hey, its' one thing for you or I sitting on a bar stool somewhere having a beer to say such, but having a sitting governor do that ? What message is then being sent ? He's guilty ? Well what other stuff has Governor Hogan and others decided upon without a fair trial or a impartial hearing ? Am I the only one that finds this disturbing ?
 Just what is on going here ? All I hear is don't judge. If you judge people you are just a prejudicial bigot or worse. We have to be all inclusive, tolerant, accepting and allow others to identify themselves in any way they wish. Well, unless you are accused of sexual assault from 39 years ago, then it is immediate condemnation. What evidence has been offered ? None, other than her own words. I understand others have joined in now, having regained the memory of the most traumatic event to have happened to them ! Interestingly I heard someone started a hash tag thing ten years ago in New York, #metoo.  Yes I can proudly wear a tee shirt and post to social media #metoo. so as not to miss out on the attention. In the quest for trophy's' it doesn't really matter what you get them for, just don't miss out ! All aboard the pity train, #metoo. I'm sorry that just doesn't lend much credence to these claims in my eyes.
 I am not saying it didn't happen. I am not saying these women are liars. I am not saying because it may have happened 40 years ago it doesn't count. What I am saying is what evidence is being presented ? Why are we automatically accepting the word of this person, and others ? Ask anyone in Jail and they will tell you they are innocent. Is it because the accusation involves a man and a minor female child ? If the charges are heinous enough we can skip the trial and go right to the punishment phase ? Is it because a woman would never lie about that ? If she uses #metoo, that is concrete proof.
I just don't get it. We have hundreds of people in prison for murder, rape, and any number of heinous crimes that we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt  they are guilty. Yet, we have hundreds, even thousands of people pleading for leniency on their behalf, the death penalty is cruel and unusual in many states, we advocate for their rehabilitation  and counseling. They should be given another chance. But, this woman regains a memory from 39 years ago, makes an accusation and the guy is guilty ! He should suspend his campaign for political office and resign in shame. Just how does that work ? What a sad commentary of the state of America.
 Looks like a great way to eliminate the competition to me. I'll just start accusing whoever or whatever. No facts are necessary. I'll just hashtag it ! The next person that says to me, don't be so judgmental, is going to get an earful ! That much is for sure. If you are angry about this you may hash tag it  #I'mwithben      
 

unqualified pride

 There are times when I feel unqualified. When I was asked to say a few words at the Veterans day ceremony, I did feel a little unqualified. I was honored to be asked and justified the acceptance of that honor by the knowledge that Veterans day is for all Veterans. I'm one of those alright. Still, I feel a bit unqualified. I served for twenty years and retired. The qualification that is lacking ? I remain untested. The closet I came to battle was transiting the straights of Hormuz during operation desert shield/desert storm. We sat ready, at battle stations in case of missile attack. We weren't attacked. Not much of a test.
 I joined the Navy in 1971 as the war in Vietnam was winding down. I had seen men leave and never come back. The evening news started showing the horrific results of war in real time, for the first time in history. I knew many that were protesting that war, I saw how those vets that were lucky enough to return were treated. Yes, it was a tumultuous time in America. In truth, when hasn't it been ? My ship sailed off the coast of Vietnam supplying oil to other vessels engaged in the battle. I was safely back, the Vietnamese had no ships to threaten us and certainly no air power. I was safe enough. It wasn't until years later that I sailed in harms way. Even then the odds of anything happening where pretty slim. It wasn't much of a risk. A sacrifice ? I hardly view it in that way. It was more of an inconvenience. I was compensated for my time and service. I had signed the contract, all I needed to do was what I was directed to do. Pretty easy. Blind luck or divine intervention ? That is a tough one. If God were truly protecting me, he would have also had to protect all those around me. I myself not being the most devout Christian, and some I knew around me denying his very existence, that would seem improbable. I wasn't thinking about that at the time. Today my philosophy is that God doesn't directly interfere in our life. Through belief and prayer you will be guided, but God won't grab your hand and walk you ! You have been given free will to act as you please. But setting aside philosophy, I do feel unqualified at times.
 Now I never wanted to rush into battle, nothing so glorious as that. I have never had that desire that so many young men seem to have. I never felt that I had to prove myself. Now, having been unproven in battle I feel a little lacking. I joined the Navy for the opportunity it offered. It was also an honorable choice. I would get to display a bit of bravado without being in too much danger. That thought had entered my thinking when making the choice. GI Joe was fun to watch on television and in those war movies, but I was aware of the reality as well. Was it rational thought or a bit of cowardice ? That is the question I still struggle with to this day. That is why I cringe at the word, hero. I'm no hero. How can you be a hero if you have not been tested in battle, in a life and death struggle ? I've done nothing heroic ! I did exactly what I obligated myself to do. Even that I didn't do flawlessly, I made poor choices at times. It wasn't all Anchors Aweigh and sailing into harms way. I can say I would have responded had the need arisen. But how would I react ? That is the question left unanswered. It is also a question that will never be answered. My time has past. I do have to thank my God for his protection.
 I have to look back upon those years of service as a lesson in humility. It is a difficult lesson. I made my decisions based on my needs. That is the truth of it. I stumbled upon this quote by Charles Caleb Cotton that made me think.  " The greatest friend of Truth is time, her greatest enemy is Prejudice, and her constant companion is Humility. " Was it humility that inspired my thoughts and actions over the years ? Well, that sounds better than self preservation. Should I take pride in my service ? The immediate response is always, yes. I fulfilled every obligation. I did my duty. I can be proud of that. When I hear that word pride, I remember this statement, " Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real. " ( Thomas Merton ) I understand that sentiment exactly. It is my thinking that pride should be replaced with contentment. Contentment is what brings us peace. For some of us that peace is a long time coming. Time is how we measure understanding. And understanding will come in time.

being a patroit

 The meaning and use of words has always been important to me. I guess I have always wanted to know exactly what it is you are trying to say. I have always been aware that the same word or phrase can mean vastly different things. Context is of primary importance. You do have to know when and where those words or phrases are being used.  Now that isn't to say I feel like I have such an extensive vocabulary, I haven't actively searched out and learned new words but rather tried to learn the ones that made my thoughts clear. There are times when words do get confusing and I have to look them up. Often there are several meanings listed. That is where knowing the context will clear things up. Another interesting thing to me is how that meaning can change over time. The word that comes to mind this morning is Patriot. I'm certain that is simply because we have just finished celebrating Veterans day. I used that word, a description really, in my brief address yesterday at our Veterans day ceremony. I summed up my thoughts by saying. " We remain citizens only by their sacrifice, may we never take freedom for granted, it was won by Patriots and is preserved by Veterans. "
 I wonder now how many share my understanding of the word patriot. To me a patriot is one that loves and defends his nation. That doesn't imply a blind obedience to that nation. In fact a true patriot will fight for what they believe to be the correct action for government to take. We live in a Republic. How many understand what a Republic is ? It is understandable that many would be confused about that. Our political leaders, our teachers and others often call our government a Democracy, which it is most definitely is not. Does it employ democratic principles ? Yes it most certainly does, but it is not a democracy. The distinction is subtle but it is distinction. When Ben Franklin was asked, following the constitutional convention, what form of Government do we have Doctor ? His response was, a Republic is you can but keep it. Why did he say that ? Because he knew that to be the truth of it. He also knew that Aristotle, hundreds of years in the past, had written  " Republics decline into democracies, democracies degenerate into despotisms." Have we reached the " democracy " phase ?
 There are certainly many who believe that to be so and even more that believe that is a good thing. The truth is, it is a decline, just as Aristotle said. And what is very troubling is that Patriots are now being labeled Nationalists ! They are entirely different descriptions and are not interchangeable. Just as so many interchange Democracy with Republic, they are substituting Patriot with Nationalist. As an American you should be alarmed by this. Instead many are blindly and foolishly accepting this. Given a few more generation and despotism will be the result.
 I know I sound like chicken little, the sky is falling. I would ask you to consider this. There is much talk of how our government needs to provide for its' citizens. But is charity a function of government ? It certainly is not and that is why it is not included in the Constitution or Bill of Rights. Remember it is those documents that delineate our government ! Those documents form a Republic.  Daniel Webster stated in his address to the Senate, " It is, Sir, the peoples government, made for the people, made by the people, and answerable to the people. The people of the United States have declared that this constitution shall be the supreme law. " If we the people allow the government to operate, unchecked, outside the boundaries of those documents , we the people have relinquished our republic. We the people are not answerable to the government, the government is answerable to us ! It was Patriots that rejected King George and subsequently won the freedom we all enjoy today. They were not Nationalists ! Nationalists were called Tories back then. Time and context once again.
 I fear our nation has gone bankrupt. We are morally bankrupt, financially bankrupt and there is no one to lead us. We are so busy fighting among ourselves that we are missing the bigger picture. Slowly the government that we the people formed is taking control of us. What portion of our citizenry is dependent solely upon government for their subsistence ? Oh, but you say, that is charity. And I respond charity is not the function of government. You won't hear it on the evening news but as of 2012, 49.6 % of the population is dependent upon the government in some fashion. The fact remains, if the government can not pay out the benefits they currently pay out, almost half the population would be in desperate straights. Half way to total dependence upon the government ! Think about that. A democratic choice ? It seems apparent to me but then I'm no great scholar. We the people have voted ourselves right into dependence. We have allowed the government to run unchecked in the name of charity. Instead of focusing upon the health of the nation, we have focused on helping ourselves ! Yes, it will take Patriots to rectify this situation. Patriots willing to fight for the government, not for their personal wants or needs. We the people have that power, we need to exercise it before it is taken away. Patriots neither wanted nor endorsed a Democracy because they knew what that meant. The 51 impose their will upon the 49. A Republic is for all the people.
 Well it is a lot to think about but it is what was on my mind this morning. I believe there are many patriots left in this land. All the others are a distraction, that much is certain. Those with the power doing everything they can to retain that power, those that wish to give it all away, and those that are plain misguided. It is time to focus upon the Republic ! That is what we face. Are we going to allow it to decline into a democracy ?  

what was offered

 Today in Greensboro we are planting trees in remembrance of our veterans. I was asked to say a few words at a brief ceremony. I am honored to do so. Greensboro does not have a parade for Veterans day and this will be the only observance of an official nature. Yesterday I did help place the flags on the graves of all those veterans having been relieved of their duty. Being a veteran is a lifetime commitment. Their service didn't end with their tour of duty. I believe I can speak for the majority of veterans when I say, I wasn't relieved of my duty when I was discharged or placed on the retired list. That duty remains with us. I stand ready to answer the call should that become a necessity.
  In recent years it has come to light the alarming rate of suicide among our veterans. All that can be done is the offering of help and understanding. The reason for such an increase I'll leave to the experts. The important thing to remember here is that Veterans day is to remember all veterans. The duration of service ( a minimum of 90 days is required for you sticklers out there ) is not important. Whether that veteran served on the front line or served in a support position doesn't define the commitment. What we need to remember is that individual basically relinquished their freedom to serve others ! Those others are you and I, the citizens of this great nation. They promised to die in defense of your freedom if that became necessary. There were no limitations set. The sole contractual obligation was to obey the orders of the President of the United Sates and those officers appointed over them !
  Originally veterans day was called remembrance day. It is a day to remember all those that have served our nation. The red poppy represents the blood shed in the fight. The symbolism is obvious. But that isn't the whole story. Those same poppies represent new life, new hope for the future. In the poem on Flanders field that is what the author is trying to convey. It was the growth of those poppies that inspired his writing, not the death of soldiers. That is the lesson to teach our children, freedom does come at a price. Some will pay with their lives, some will be wounded in a physical sense, and others suffer from mental anguish. Every veteran paid a price That is what we need to remember ! It isn't so much what was taken, it is what was offered.
This is the last verse of that famous poem, On Flanders Field


 Take up our quarrel with the foe
To you, from failing hands, we throw
The torch: be yours to hold it high
If ye break faith with us who die,
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields

John McCrae wrote those words on May 3, 1915. The day before he had buried his good friend, Alexis Helmer, killed instantly by a German bomb blast. The only words spoken were what he could recall from the "order of ceremony of the dead " from the Church of England prayer book. There was no chaplain present and the ceremony had to be performed in darkness and secrecy. In the morning, with a gentle breeze blowing across the battlefield, John McCrae contemplated the loss of his friend and all those others lost to the battle. He determined to fight on, to keep faith with those who died. I'm certain he never forgot his friend and wished the same for each and every soldier that ever laced up the boots. We must all " keep the faith " as a solemn obligation, a debt to be satisfied for that is the cost of the freedom we enjoy. Sleep peacefully my brothers and sisters for I will carry that torch until my hands fail me, sleep peacefully knowing the line is unbroken and the Poppies still grow at Flanders Field.

standing in line

 Once again, all too frequently lately, I was reminded. I read of the passing of another person of a certain generation. That generation is that of my parents. I have always been told that as you age time speeds up. I am learning that lesson well, through experience and yes, over time.  It was a fact never hidden from me or glossed over. People pass away. A polite way of saying, they die. Now passing away is taking on a deeper meaning than that, passing away means they are in the past. All that remains is the memory of that person and whatever physical articles they may have acquired. Those articles will be fought over, distributed, and discarded, not necessarily in that order. But now I am thinking about an entire generation passing away. Surely that is a sign that I too have been around longer than I care to admit. I'm fortunate in that I still have my Mom. She is one of ten children, nine of which have passed on. The last of her generation from that family.
 That generation has been labeled the Traditionalists or Silent generation. It was they who gave birth to the baby boomers. They are called the silent generation because they were taught as children, to be silent. Children should be seen and not heard. A traditionalist today is at least 72 years old today. If you are a man your average life expectancy is 76 and for a women it is 81. So if we go by the average it won't be much longer. Fortunately there are those that will exceed that expectation. My Mom has done that by seven years already. Generations overlap.
 There are six generations alive today. The only one older than the traditionalists are the GI generation. Their numbers are miniscule. They were born prior to 1924 and would be at least 93 today. They are less than 2% of the population. Their time has come and gone, the ones remaining admired as a curiosity, their age something to aspire to. Their children, the silent generation will follow them and I watch that progress. It is the natural order of the world and nothing to be done about it. It is a sobering realization as the line for departure grows shorter.
 I heard of the passing of the last soldier from WW1. In 2011, six years ago, Frank Buckles passed at the age of 110. The last American " dough " boy from the war to end all wars.  The silent generation sent about 16 million " dog faces " to WW2. It is estimated they are leaving us at a rate of 492 every day.  By 2036 there will be no living veterans of WW2. Will I live to hear that news ?  I would have to become an aberration to do so, I would have to exceed what is expected. I would have to live to see the age of ninety ! It's a possibility.
 Saying goodbye to the GI generation is far more likely. Their generation is defined as being born between 1901 and 1924. Estimates are the last will leave us within the next twenty years. It is hard to imagine an entire generation gone. Oh it isn't hard when you never knew anyone from that generation. Those folks are just historical figures. Their lives and accomplishments are subject to review and revision. Mr. Albert Woolson passed in 1956. I was three years old. Who was he ? He was the last veteran of the civil war. He had fought for the union. Can you imagine how he must have felt about what history had recorded in his lifetime ?
 Each generation is distinct in its' beliefs and actions. Sociologists have written great tomes about this very subject. It is they that label the generations. That is a more modern day thing though. The labeling and time frames are disputed among those scholars. All agree that there are six living generations, that is the limit. That may change as we increase our lifespan. When we are born we are number six in the queue. The big question we all have, the one left unanswered is, will we make it to number one ? Number one means you're next. I'm standing at number three according to my calculations. I'm only half way ! This is one time I don't mind standing in line. Fact is, I'm hoping the line doesn't move at all.       

without a net

 I watched another advertisement for some kind of rehabilitation center. It is just another in a stream of those ads. I can only assume business is booming. The spokesperson was citing figures and statistics that were eye opening. I caught the fact that it had been determined only 11 % of the people needing this help were actually getting it ! That's right, they felt there should be an increase in business of at least 89% ! The implication was clear,  few of us can make it on our own. Of course from my viewpoint that help needs to come from your belief in a higher power. That is just one step nowadays in at least twelve you have to take. I haven't checked it out but I wouldn't be surprised to learn there are a few more steps to be taken beyond the twelve, along with medication. I'm thinking it probably requires some sort of continuing care, at a continuing cost. But then I've been accused of being a skeptic.
 Now I won't deny that life can be hard. It isn't easy to walk the straight and narrow. We all slip now and again. When that happens we must regain our balance and continue on. It can be similar to walking a tight rope. When things are going good, going your way so to speak, it is easy. Then something goes wrong, that rope begins to sway beneath you, and you hesitate. You do feel like you are going to fall.
 In the past we relied upon our ability to recover. It would seem these days we are working with a net ! That is what all these rehabilitation centers are about. They are safety nets. They are provided to negate the consequences of failure. You are not held to account. You will get another chance, a do-over. Having fallen into the net many are rewarded for that action. The fear of falling is reduced, the desire to remain on the straight and narrow isn't as important. Confidence is replaced by what ? Reliance, arrogance and pride is the answer. I can just do as I please and not suffer any consequence. I will be empowered ! Isn't that the message being sent, a message of empowerment. Should I fall and land safely in the net that isn't a failure, it is an empowerment. I'm a survivor ! Well, I'd say you have been recued. The lesson you should learn is humility, not empowerment. Oh but that isn't the lesson plan for today is it ? We will be empowered by those failures and hold them up for everyone to see and admire. See, I failed and survived ! The message is clear enough, you can too. According to that ad, 89% of us should be doing just that. Why aren't we falling into the net ! It's a failure.
 Now I've been accused of being old fashioned and a skeptic. Okay, old fashioned is too gentle a description of what some say about my view of things. The string of adjectives to complete that thought isn't necessary, you can fill in the blanks for yourself. My point being I have seen a fundamental shift in the way our children are being raised. I was taught to work without a net ! If I slipped and fell it was I that had to pay the price. I may or may not get a do-over. The implication was always, probably not. The other part of that was if you required the use of a safety net that wasn't anything to be proud of. Yes, it was expected you would be ashamed of yourself. That was for a simple reason, you were also expected to know better ! You were to blame, not inanimate objects, peer pressure, or political correctness.
 What I heard in that ad and so many like it was this, it is alright to fall. Fall as many times as you need, we are here to catch you. As long as you can pay the price of admission you can remain in the circus. Sure you can't perform very well but that's alright. Fall enough times and we'll make you a spokesman ! It isn't pity that is being extended, it is admiration ! That's the message being sent these days. You will be admired for your courage ! You're a survivor ! And this is where I  get labeled, I say you failed. You should acknowledge that failure as a shortcoming, not a victory. The goal in life is not to fall into the net, but stay on the wire. We should be teaching our children to work without a net ! Instead of telling us 89% more people should use that net, the goal should be that 11% less require it.  
 
 

never forgotten

 It is that time of year again, time for Wreaths across America. I have written about this in past years but thought I would write a reminder. This campaign is to provide a Christmas Wreath, or Holiday Wreath if you prefer that term, for every Veterans grave. I have been involved with this the last three years and I can't tell you the satisfaction I get from it. Here in Greensboro I have my sons' father in law and a couple of neighbors that were Vets and so they get honored. I have also adopted a Colonel Comegy, civil war veteran, and ensure he gets a wreath. I never see any flowers or mementos at his gravesite and so feel he has no family left in the area. I just wouldn't want him to be forgotten. Forgotten graves are one of the saddest things I can imagine. Were I able I would provide each and every Veteran a wreath. Truth is, if I were able I would provide each and every grave one. Last I knew the estimate was at 10,000 souls. I will not estimate the number forgotten. I think of them as unvisited. I believe someone , somewhere, remembers those names. But, back to Wreaths Across America.
 Ordering your wreaths is a easy thing to do. You can go to their website and order from there. It takes a little searching around but a list of participating cemeteries is provided. All you have to do is list the cemetery and the name of the person you would like given a wreath. Volunteers place them on the graves on December 16. That order must be placed by Nov 27th. You can also just order wreaths for unnamed individuals and they will be placed on a veterans gravesite at random. There is a link to the website for ordering wreaths on the Greensboro Historical Society on Facebook ! Should you choose to order through that organization, of which I am a member, it would be appreciated. For every wreath ordered the Historical Society receives five dollars back from Wreaths across America. Last year we used those funds to buy American flags to place on the graves on Veterans Day. We are hoping to buy flags representing the branch of service for each veteran as well.
 It wasn't my intent to turn this blog into a sales pitch and I apologize for that. I did want everyone to be aware of this campaign. It is something that speaks to me. Last year the cemetery where the majority of my family lies did not participate in this program. It is a matter of volunteering to lay the wreaths. Of course someone has to organize the whole thing. For me, the fundraising part is secondary. I encourage everyone to participate and I really don't care where you order your wreaths from. There are plenty of places you can check to see where your ancestors may be buried. I use Find-A-Grave myself. It is free and has quite a big listing.
 Well that is my thoughts for this morning. Like I said you can go to The Greensboro Historical Society on Facebook. Make sure it is Greensboro Maryland and just scroll down the page. You will see a piece about Wreaths across America and in that piece there is a link to order wreaths. Remember you don't have to send the wreath to the Greensboro cemetery from there. You can send them to any participating cemetery in the country. The historical society in Greensboro will get the credit for the sale however. That's a good thing. No veteran should ever be forgotten, especially at Christmas. This is one small way of remembering them.

Just type this in the search block of your browser  : https://wreaths.fastport.com/donateLocation.html?page=42810    I think this will work, if not just google wreaths across America.


   

fair enough

You ever wonder about things ? I do, all the time. Lately I've been wondering about the proposed tax plan from the Trump administration. I haven't really seen it in its' entirety or read it. Generally all I have seen or heard is what the political pundits have to say. Those opinions, for the most part are sharply divided along party lines. I do try to keep in mind that generally speaking the people that are offering these opinions are the ones with a great deal more money than I. I'm certain that changes the perspective entirely. Perhaps these folks are reading the proposed changes and have a complete and thorough understanding of it all. Perhaps they don't.
 Now the thing is I also hear a lot of talk from common everyday people, just like me. I readily confess I don't understand the current tax code and question whether there is anyone that does. When you stop and consider there is a whole industry devoted to figuring out the tax code and filing forms for compliance, it should come as no surprise the average citizen really doesn't have a clue. How many are employed in this business ? How many lawyers and tax consultants are there ? These question are all rhetorical  as there is no real answer to any of it. The tax code is a jungle of laws where every law has a loophole of some kind to benefit whomever first wrote the code. Understanding that much my friends is common sense. Everyone should pay their fair share ! It is defining the fair share that is the issue. If I'm the one writing it, my share isn't the same as yours, of that much you can be certain.
 But the thing I was wondering about is how so many became tax experts overnight. I hear all manner of things explaining how the proposed tax code will make the poor, poorer. Well, unless you are really poor than you don't need to be concerned with any of this stuff, just collect your tax free money. If you are low income folks this is going to make you poor. If you are low-middle income this will make you low income. If you are upper middle class you could wind up, gasp, middle class !  Of course if you are wealthy, your wealth increases. That is the way this new tax system is going to work. That's the way the tax system has always worked right ? The rich people should just pay for everything ! It isn't fair. Thing is, where do rich people get their money ? They get it by providing goods and services to people just like you and I. That money is called , profit ! Amazing thing about profits, it increases your wealth. So how much profit is too much profit ? How much money is too much money ? Shall we put a cap on that ? You are only allowed so much money, anything beyond that threshold must be shared with everyone else ? Limited capitalism ? Or would that be limited socialism ? Is that what we should be striving for ? We will tax the wealthy to the point they become poor like the rest of us ! Then everyone is poor and everyone is happy being poor. Sounds like a fine plan.
 I'm not much of a numbers guy and surely haven't spent a great deal of my time worrying about taxes and money. I have what money I have because I earned that money, no matter the abundance or lack thereof. Taxes are inevitable. But here is an interesting tidbit of information you so seldom hear. According to the Wall Street Journal, still, as far as I know the most respected financial newspaper in the country, the top 20% of earner in this country pay 84% of all income tax received. Stop, let that sink in. The top 20% of earners pay 84% of all income tax collected. Does that seem fair to you ? Then factor this fact into the mix, the bottom 20% get paid from those taxes. That's right, 20% get paid by Uncle Sam. Now like I said I'm not much of a numbers guy but if we were to equally distribute the amount of tax collected over that entire spectrum, from rich to poor  how much is everyone's share going to be ? Well, I can't do that math but I do know it would cost me a whole lot more than what I'm paying now. I look at it like this. 10 people have to pay a tax and the total tax is 100 hundred dollars. The tax code as it is written now says, the top 20% (2 ) will pay 84% of the tax. That means two people each pay 42 cents, two people ( another 20% ) get paid two cents each, leaving six people to pay the 14 cents necessary to reach the tax goal of 100 dollars. Seems right doesn't it ? So how much are you the taxpayer not in either category going to pay ?  You owe 2.3 cents. Make it fair, everyone pays the same, now you owe 10 cents. Sounds fair enough right ? 

knowing why

 I expect the gun control debate will begin anew. The cries for something to be done will reach a crescendo. Then something else will happen and that debate quiets down once gain. Just why this 26 year old white guy that had been given a bad discharge conduct discharge from the Air Force did what he did we may never know. Yes it could be argued that if he didn't have a gun he couldn't have done that. Oh, but that it were that easy. Fact is, it is a person problem not a gun problem. We need to figure out what went wrong in our society that has got us to this point. What happened to the moral compass ? How did we get here, where life means so little to so many ? And it isn't just guns doing the harm. Drugs are taking lives at an alarming rate, just that they take one at a time. Look at the rate of abortion ? No matter how you spin that you are taking lives. And that we claim as a right ! What value is placed on life then ?
 So once again we are faced with a tragedy. Once again the search for answers begins. Why ? That is what is being asked and there is no reasonable answer to that question. There can be no explanation. In truth, would it make any difference ? Does it matter why ? What we have to deal with is the reality. Is there anything that could be done to prevent this from ever happening again ? The answer is no. A single person or a group of people can not be prevented from doing these acts. Yes, it was a gun but could just as easily been a bomb or anything else. Saying not as many would be killed if he didn't have a gun is sheer speculation, wishful thinking. We would all like to think that no one would be subject to this sort of thing.
 Is there anything that can be done ? Sadly the answer is no. There is nothing that can be done. You can't change the hearts of people that have evil intent. There is no way you can remove all objects from the hands of those that would use those objects to cause harm. Cain killed Abel with a rock. One murder is too many. It is like Pandoras' box, the evil can not be contained. In that myth all the evil was let out of the jar and when the jar was closed all that remained inside was hope. The lesson is still applicable. All we have left is hope.
 If we knew the reason why, would that change anything ? Does anyone really believe that they can satisfy the needs or wants of everyone ? Does it make a difference what those wants or needs are ? Can anyone or any government provide everything for everyone all the time ? Or will there always be those that just aren't satisfied ? Knowing the reason why is only useful if you can travel back in time. If I could do that, I would be able to satisfy whatever need that person had and prevent the action from happening. Knowing why after the fact is only a comfort to those left. That is because it gives us hope. If we know why we can prevent it right ? Why do bad things happen to good people ? It's because of bad people. Why are some people bad ? Answer that, and you will have found the key. Then all that would be left is deciding what is good and bad.     

Forbearance

 He wore blue jeans and a flannel shirt jacket as I watched him walk slowly across the cemetery. I was just driving by, coming home from the hardware store. Just before I passed him he had stopped and with his neck crooked forward I saw him staring at the stone. At that moment a wave of emotion swept over me. It was a mixture of sorrow and peace. Just as quickly, the feeling was gone and I was left wondering, why ? Why that response, at that time ?  I don't know that man, don't know who he was visiting, and ride by that cemetery almost daily. He certainly wasn't the first person I've seen do that. Was it because of his age ? He looked to be just a bit older than myself. Was it because of his dress ? That outfit could have been borrowed from my closet. Was it the grey hair, or the manner in which he stood so still, so contemplative ? Mostly I wonder, why did I notice all of that and it remain in my thoughts. That drive by happened two days ago. It doesn't strike me as premonition, it doesn't have that quality to it. It strikes me more as resignation. I thought that is what I was witness too, resignation.
 Resignation is the acceptance of something undesirable but inevitable. I'd say death fit into that category. As I thought more about that I arrived at a conclusion. I had chosen the wrong word. Now I feel forbearance is the correct term. Yes, it would be listed as a synonym for resignation in the thesaurus, but there is a subtle difference in those actions. To resign in my eyes is to surrender or give up. That isn't what that gentleman was doing though, I didn't see a defeated person. What I did see was forbearance. Forbearance being an action or response to an unwanted circumstance. You do have to accept whatever happened, but you don't have to resign. Remaining stoic in the face of such eventualities as death requires inner strength. Our strength can only be tested by experience in such matters. For those of us fortunate enough, that experience comes with age. That is the irony of time, as it grows shorter we wish to live in what has passed.
 This morning as I sit and write these thoughts I think I may understand why. I think that seeing that gentleman and the response it evoked was a lesson. I was upset about the verdict Bergdahl received. It was an unwanted thing ! I felt somehow cheated by that. I was angered. I even wrote yesterdays posting about all of that. But then the lesson became clearer to me, I hadn't resigned those feelings quite yet ! I do think that resignation occurs either out of anger or despair. I was angry. I hadn't gotten my way. That was it, in a nutshell. What I need to display now is forbearance. I need to set the anger, the disappointment aside and channel those emotions elsewhere. Finding the channel is the challenge, not accepting the loss. Having grown up by the water I know that you should launch your boat on an outgoing tide. Bucking the tide does nothing more than slow progress.
 I wonder now if I have witnessed a death. When that verdict was handed down a part of America died with it. At the very least a part of America I grew up with has. I feel that loss as deeply as losing a loved one. I also feel there is little I can do about that. Only the young feel they can change the world. Truth is they will change the world. It is the changes that the " elderly " rail against. Yes, that is the truth of it. I must face that reality with forbearance. There are many in this country that need to learn that lesson ! I can only pray that they do before it is too late, before it is all gone. When one is standing before the grave, there is little to be done, but mourn.