Wednesday, January 4, 2017

drifting

 There are times when I feel more like I'm drifting rather than heading anywhere. I've been told that is a bad thing. I should be working toward a goal or a destination. That is what we are told, isn't it ? It is just laziness to drift aimlessly. Well, sometimes I grow weary and just want to relax the oars so to speak. I don't think it is a matter of having earned it or anything but just a matter of choice. Lately I've been choosing to drift. I'm not apologizing for it either. I haven't spotted any landfall that interests me so I'll continue to drift for a while longer.
 I will admit to feeling a little restless lately. It's a normal thing and nothing to be concerned with. You know you don't have to respond to every impulse that comes over you. Many people don't seem to understand that, mostly younger people though, us " senior " folks have learned to ignore that stuff. I'm not ready to hoist the sail and get underway. I don't know where it is I want to go just yet. Not ready to drop anchor either. There is only one permanent mooring and that is in the graveyard. I'm not ready for that !
 I'm thinking what I'm feeling now is called being listless. A lack of enthusiasm for any one thing in particular. I've got a list of things I'd like to do, so how can I be listless ?  That's a little joke. But seriously, I can't seem to get excited about doing any one particulate thing.  Others may provide you with motivation but that isn't the same as enthusiasm. The wife can motivate me to get something done but that doesn't mean I enjoyed doing it ! Enthusiasm has to come from yourself ! It can be shared, that is true, but it isn't always accepted. I have discovered enthusiasm is not always infectious.
 I'm thinking this is just a result of the holidays. All that anticipation, preparation and excitement. I do enjoy the holidays. Afterward it's like having a hangover, was a good time, but it's time to pay the fiddler. I've packed up Christmas and the house looks drab. It'll take a while to readjust. The weather is supposed to turn cold and we are expecting some snow. Bound to happen. Well I'm certain I'll find something to interest me sooner or later. Right now I'll continue to drift awhile.   
 

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