Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

being civil

 I heard that a little home had been sold. I even wrote a blog about that as it touched a memory. The title was " a piece in time " and I posted it on January the eight of this year. It was the last home on that little dirt road where I was raised to pass into the hands of a stranger. This thought occurred to me. I could no longer knock on a single door on that lane and see a familiar face. I was a stranger in my own home ! That is because our first home is the neighborhood were we where raised. But I'm thinking that may no longer be the case. Many folks don't even know the neighbors anymore, let alone associate with them. Now we have to form an " association " to resolve our differences and establish guidelines.
 If there are children of the same age they will naturally gravitate towards one another. That is, if the parents allow that. I do think there are so many structured activities for the children now that they are not given the opportunity to form relationships on their own. I just wandered the neighborhood. There were times when there were no other children of my age on that dirt road. I made friends with the neighbors, adults. Yes, I made friends with adults, imagine that. We interacted with each other, I learning from them, and they, I believe, were often amused by me. We talked about stuff and they showed me stuff. I could stop by anytime and was welcomed. It wasn't a big deal, it was just life.        
 There was a mutual respect, each knowing their position in this social contract. I had no idea that is what making friends was, making a social contact, but that is what it is. There are certain responsibilities associated with this contract. The first and most important role was one of honesty. If you wish to gain someone's trust, we have to be honest, always. There are times when silence is the only way to maintain that honesty but silence lends itself to deceit. It does become easier to justify your silence by saying I am doing so to avoid confrontation. You know, if you don't have anything to say, don't say anything at all. That is a good thing : sometimes. The issue is always when ? I have spoken out of turn on too many occasions, a fault I readily admit to. I would rather err on the side of honesty, than deceit, even when that deceit is favorable. The question in that situation always being, to whose favor ?
 Now all this sounds a bit bleak. I do think we have lost a little bit of the past. Differences are best solved on a personal level but we now choose formal litigation. Why is that ? The desire to be " right " has grown out of proportion to being civil. It has gotten to the point where I can be sued for saying things judged to be " hateful. " Yes, there are laws against " hate speech " and now we are establishing crimes defined as " hate. " We are attempting to provide punitive measures for perceived motivation. How can I judge the mind of another person ? How can I know your motivation ? Unless you tell me, I can not.
 What has this to do with that little house on the hill ? The house represents the last of my home now relegated to history It is all what was and will never be again. But I realize that is only my history, my memories and my perceptions. Perhaps it is this " civilization " of man that will allow it to flourish. Can we run a nation, or a world, on social contracts ? The answer is no, we can not. So it follows that we require legal and binding contracts. The only impediment to its' success is a mutual motivator. But what then is that motivator ? Is it wealth ? It is health ? Or is it something completely different ?  Isn't it ironic how the more we establish " civilization " they more uncivil we are becoming.