an era defined

 We have all heard the expression, the end of an era. An era, as defined, is a long and distinct period of history with a particular feature or characteristic. There is no set period of time for it to be classified as such. It is my belief that I witnessed the end of an era. I was there when it passed into history. I do carry the memory of that time forward, but time has passed. On a personal level that era ended on Aug 8, 1971. That is the day I stepped aboard the Long Island railroad and headed west. When I next traveled east, back to the home I had left, it was gone. Lingering images remained, old faces and old memories. Reflecting on that I feel honored to have been a part of that. I did get to enjoy a piece of a past era. It wasn't just a time, it was indeed an era. I'm not certain how many are aware of the distinction, but I have grown acutely aware.
 In that definition, an era contains a particular feature or characteristic. The characteristic of that lost era was a particular breed of people. We called them Bonackers. There are many that like to identify themselves as such, even to this day. I was born and raised in the neighborhood of the Bonackers, although I admit to never really having been one. There are those that will tell me, yes you are, but they would be wrong. That is true simply because each of us that lived in that time would define a Bonacker differently. I knew a few of them folks and they were, as the saying goes, of the finest kind.  If they were judged by todays societal standards they would be classified quite differently. Fact is, they were , by some, even back then.The majority of them lived what could only be described as a hand to mouth existence. Fiercely independent and just as fiercely opinionated. They were upright folks that spoke their mind clearly and loudly. No mistaking what they meant and no nonsense about it. Those that lived a life more of pretense than substance, tended to be at odds with these folks. I wasn't aware at the time but stood on the shoreline as the final showdown took place. Money defeated character and an era ended.
 Now I'm not saying no Bonackers exist today, they certainly do. That is something you are born too. You don't inherit it through the blood but rather through the soul. If you never lived the life you can never be a Bonacker. That is why I say I am not one, never was. I just lived in the neighborhood. It is also something one can not aspire to. The best you could hope to obtain was a quiet acceptance of your presence. If you are from " away " you will always be from " away." The thing is that era has passed. There are a few " characters " left " but the show is over. The " set " has all been changed now, the old scenery remains in isolated places, but the stage has changed. A different era has begun.
  I view this with an impassioned eye. It is one of regret. The regret is not so much that the era has ended but that I took so little advantage of it. I think that is the way it is with the majority of us. We really don't know what we have till it's gone. I would add we don't know what is available either ! We are usually too busy to notice what is going on around us. The expression we can't see the trees for the forest applies. We should be taking a closer look. For those of you reading this that may not know what a Bonacker is, or was, I would write this. A Bonacker lived in a special place and time. Yes, it was called Bonac by those that lived there, but was never a formal name, it was more of a feeling.  And that feeling was the Norman Rockwell feeling of hearth and home. Truly the stuff of legend and lore. And I watched as it was legislated out of existence. Make no mistake about that, it was regulation that killed the Bonackers. They were never defeated by time or tide but by lawyers and the pen. The last great champion of the Bonackers has passed now and I read of that with sorrow, another chapter closed. Who will write the epilogue ? Not I, for I am unqualified to do so. I can think of a few but their numbers are dwindling. Time and tide will continue and so too legislation. If only man could learn to live by Gods laws alone we would stand a chance. Given time, man will legislate himself out of existence as surely as he did the Bonackers. The quest for the acquisition of wealth and power will spell the end.

Lamenting the loss

 I am not a Biblical scholar by any stretch of the imagination. I , somewhat shamefully admit, there is little I can quote chapter and verse. Yes, I have read the entire Bible. I have a passing knowledge of the main characters and the overall story. There are lesson I have learned from the Bible and applied in my life. At the present time, the way some are behaving,  I can not help but make some comparisons to the Book of Lamentations. I do know that book was thought to be written after the fall of Jerusalem. There are some that feel America has been lost. I don't think these are really " lamentations " though, I wouldn't give them that much credibility.
 There are a number of parallels between the book of Lamentations and present day America. Of course these parallels are subjective and require a bit of faith. Lamentations was written to describe the sorrow and grief over the loss of Jerusalem. Well, the United States hasn't been defeated and lost to anyone. Still one could say that God is being driven out. It is similar to what the Jews were feeling about their city. They had been conquered and could no longer worship in their temple. The ones  "lamenting " today are doing so for opposite reasons. They are upset that the " enemies " are not being allowed to enter the city. I can see that plainly enough. Many are acting in quite the " ungodly " fashion as well. Bearing false witness is at the top of the list ! Our media outlets do that on a regular basis. They commit that crime by omission, believing that exonerates them. It does not.
 In the book of lamentation it is told that God allowed the city to be conquered because the people had become sinful. They no longer listened and obeyed his laws. To put it simply, he was mad ! It was the Babylonians ( I looked that part up ) that overrun the city. It is " immigrants " that are overrunning us now. Changing the name doesn't change the result of their invasion. America is being overrun and the ways of the " conquerors " are being implemented.
 The book of lamentations also says that Jerusalem is no longer admired by the other nations. They are not welcomed. I would say that is true about America today. We are not the shining beacon that we used to be. The book says the gates are empty on the special days. What that means is many used to come to the city to celebrate and praise God, on the special days, but they do so no longer. Think about that and you will see the truth in that. We are removing all reference to God from our celebrations and special days. Indeed some are subject to mockery for stating their belief in public.
 As I watch the news and read the newsfeed on my timeline I can hear  'lamentations."  It sounds much the same. The difference being the tables have turned. Those " lamenting " are doing so because they fear they are losing. The " people " of the city are rising up against them. The restoration of God in our society is their greatest fear. The reason is a simple one. God laws are clear and not subject to conditional compliance. Murder is always murder. Marriage is between a man and a woman. Sin is sin and should always be called such. You can not legislate, with mans laws, that truth away. It doesn't matter how inconvenient that may be politically. The enemy within the city is trying to destroy the city as surely as the Babylonians conquered Jerusalem. Trying to convince the " people " that this is what God would want ! I am not deceived however. I will defend the city. And that defense is not by force of arms, not by riot and disorder ! It will only be accomplished by faith. When " we the people " return to the ways of God, God will renew his contract with us. He alone can save the city.
 There are many seeming contradictions in the Bible. The enemy likes to point them out. They will speak of all the war and violence in the Bible. Yes, it occurred. God does work in mysterious ways, ways not yet understood. Donald J Trump may be his instrument, who can say ? Perhaps God has chosen who appears to be the most ungodly of man of all to do his work. Incredulous ? Yes, it may appear to be so, but faith will prevail. I do believe God has guided the hand of the American people. That is why we prospered and became the greatest nation on Earth. Sadly, we are in decline. I believe the reason is the absence of God. Surely he is angered.
 Jeremiah lamented the loss of Jerusalem and pointed out the reasons. When the people returned to God after having suffered the city was restored to them. Do we need to suffer as well ? We will, unless we change our ways. That is the purpose of the Bible, to instruct and to guide. It does tell us what is right and what is wrong. It also says, God will punish those that fail to obey his laws. No where in the Bible does it say for you to do that ! A fine distinction perhaps but show me one verse where God directs you, the reader, to do that. God directed others to do his biding and that was sometimes violent. Yes, but the passage doesn't say for you to do the same. In fact, the Bible says we should not " hate " anyone and to do so is the equivalent of murder. And we all know murder is a sin. Barring the enemy from the gate is not hate, it is self preservation.     

Secret lives

 In an ongoing process I keep trying to reconstruct the family tree. It is a lifelong thing and a source of amusement to me. I certainly wish I had started sooner as it would be a lot easier. But I didn't and find myself trying to pull facts from the pages of the past. What I have discovered is not all is as it would appear to be. In those dusty old records and files there are tidbits of information that send me off in a different directions. I get distracted often by those little turns in the path. In fact I find myself spending more time pursuing those than sticking with the main body of my research. Thing there is, I'm not looking for recorded fact, I'm searching for something much more elusive. I'm trying to find the how and why of it. It is always supposition in the end because there is no one left to tell the tale. Obviously that is why I should have started a lot sooner.
 I have managed to collet a few tidbits of information here and there. Old newspapers shed a bright light on social pressures that may be the cause for certain actions. It is important to know the social context when figuring out the why of things. You really do need to enter their world. It can be a tedious journey, going back in time. Learning the little nuances is the most difficult part. What we would call the " social graces." They are quite a bit different than today. Our " sensibilities " have changed over the years. Many times I believe we have lost our senses ! But that is another topic altogether.
 Yesterday as I was stumbling around in the darkness. I was revisiting a mystery I have yet to resolve. There is at least one living individual that could fill in the blanks but refuses to do so. I can only speculate as to why the withholding of that information is important. Nevertheless I keep trying to figure it out and am certain I will succeed one day. That person is my mother ! I asked when her anniversary is. I'm talking about her marriage to my father. Her response remains, I don't remember. I can't help but believe she is being less than truthful about that. Yes, she is 87 but she doesn't have any memory issues. She is the youngest of ten and all her siblings have passed on so there is none I can ask. Her marriage to my father is a bit of a mystery. It is my belief that they got married in New York State but even that is questionable. Mom doesn't remember that information either. The state of New York will not release marriage certificates to anyone else until both parties are deceased.
 I called my sister and we discussed this mystery as we have done for many years now. This isn't a new thing. According to my sister, Mom has always had this selective amnesia in regard to that date and place. It is apparent that there is something she doesn't want anyone to know. After we had spoken for some time this thought came to me. I should write a book and call it The Secret Lives of Parents ! Wouldn't that be interesting ? It certainly appeals to my inquisitive nature. You know that part of me that thirsts for knowledge and understanding. Yeah , alright I do enjoy a bit of gossip and the juicy details. I'm a parent, I have a few nuggets that I haven't shared with my children. I would if asked though. I don't think it is withholding information if you are willing to share. I mean, just because you don't tell that doesn't mean you are keeping secrets, right ?
 If I were to write such a book it would have very limited appeal. I mean who cares about the mistakes and scandals of those not related to you. The stories wouldn't be anything new. It does take us years to discover that our parents are people. Yes, they were young once and did foolish things. They made a great number of mistakes, probably the ones they are most adamant that you do not ! As hard as it is believe, and we cringe when we do, they even have sex. Sure we know they had to do " it " or we wouldn't be here but thinking that they still do, eww. What else might they have done ? There is so much that we just don't know about them.
 Some time back I thought I might write a tell all book about myself. I thought then and still do that it would be an interesting thing to my descendants. The more I thought about it the more I realized it may not be a good idea. I'm certain it would change the perceptions my children and grandchildren have of me. I think that be would true for all of us. So, I'm thinking the publication would have to be delayed for a number of years, generations even ! I'm thinking it should only be revealed to those that never knew me in the flesh, someone completely detached. But even in that case I'm not so sure. I'm thinking it would depend upon how long you are talked about and remembered. What I mean is I don't remember my great grandmother as she passed when I was two. I have heard many stories about her. If I were to read about her " secret life " I'm certain my perception of her would change. I'm not completely detached from her. That leads to another question. Can you be completely detached from your ancestors ? It doesn't seem that way does it ? Well at least not if that ancestor enjoyed any fame or notoriety. So, what of those forgotten or having no acclaim ? Are they fair game ? Yes because they are inconsequential aren't they ? I don't want to be inconsequential. I wonder if writing that book would make me consequential. At the very least I would be talked about, and being talked about keeps you alive. Seems like a win to me. The only thing then is, how long do I want to wait to be resurrected ?

apology or consolation ?

 I saw a brief segment in the news the other day. It was the Chief of Police for some town in Georgia making an apology. It just caught my attention for an instant. I don't know all the details but the apology was for something that took place in 1940. A young African American man had been killed. The case had not been investigated back then and swept under the carpet. A tragic event from the distant past and one I am certain we all agree should never have taken place. I don't believe anyone needs to be told that is was wrong. So, what struck me about this press conference was the public apology this Police chief was giving. I wonder if it serves any purpose at all. The incident took place before the man was ever born. I admit I can't say whether any of the descendants of that young man were in attendance. If they were perhaps it did offer them some solace. I just can't help but wonder though, does it serve any purpose to acknowledge the obvious ? Especially so when the obvious happened two or three generations back. Are we obligated to apologize for the actions of those born before us ?
 Now I know some folks will tell me it is because I am a white male in America. I enjoy special class and privilege just by virtue of those attributes. I understand that and can see the validity of the statement. It is true I haven't experienced any real discrimination. I'm equally as certain I could find ancestors of mine that did. But they would be just that, ancestors. I have no desire to go in search of that however. I can't see why I should, to what end ? To demand an apology from whom ? Another person that had nothing to do with whatever transpired sixty years ago or more ? It is something I don't understand. To have someone apologize to me for an event I didn't witness or experience will not give me any satisfaction. Why should I feel some sense of vindication ?
 I think what I'm asking is, are we responsible for the actions of our ancestors ? My Bible says this ; " Ezekiel 18:20 The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the inequity of the father, nor the father suffer for the inequity of the son, the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself and wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself. " It seems clear then that I am not being held responsible for any of that by my God. But, of course, we talking about society, not God. Specifically  American society. That leads to another question, is God an integral part of America ? If so, then we really do not need to apologize for the " sins " of our fathers do we ? As long as we do not perpetuate the wrongful actions of that past, we are good to go. Benjamin Franklin said " never ruin an apology with an excuse. " I think that is a very wise saying. Providing an excuse only means that you will do it again. If you never committed the crime in the first place how can a sincere apology be given ? I'd say it can't and then only serves as a consolation. But just who are we consoling ? Is it the party injured in the past, or those who perceive to be injured today ?   
 We can't change the past. When we no longer commit the offenses of the past we will have apologized in the most sincere fashion.  Only in the realization and acceptance of that wrong can it be eradicated. A continual apology will not accomplish that. That action has to take place in the heart of man. Does apologizing for the past accomplish anything ? Or does it simply serve as an empowerment for those whose ancestors were wronged ? Does that somehow entitle them to something more ? I can only trust what my Bible tells me in that regard. It says, I'm not accountable for what anyone else has done. True apologies must be offered by the one that committed the crime.  Conversely an apology can not be accepted, then subsequently used as an excuse. Apologies offered by those not committing the offense are really consolations.
 I would add that all this is not to say we should or should not offer apologies or consolation. I just think the two are getting confused. Or is it condolences ? Condolence is usually associated with a death. Can you really apologize or console the dead ? In the case of our ancestors can we receive those things for them ? I don't think so. The best we can do is not repeat the past.

retaining interest

 It's strange how when we are young we think little of the past. Maybe that is simply because there is so little of it. But as we age we do begin to look back. At first we just look to the past expecting the same for the future. Then we are met with certain disappointments. Things don't always go the way they did before. We begin to search for the reasons for that. The reasons, we decide, do not lie in the past. We begin to try new things, casting aside the lessons learned in our youth. Sometimes we believe we have discovered the truth of it all and enjoy a measure of self satisfaction. We can become smug and self assured. That is especially true if we gain financial security. Those lessons of our youth are more easily dismissed in that situation. If enough wealth is gained we may even start to give some of that wealth away.
 At some point in our lives we begin to view our past as a movie. We can sit and enjoy whichever scenes we like. Memories are a wonderful thing. Unfortunately we are sometimes haunted with portions of the story. Unlike the movies, we can't just close our eyes during those segments. We find our self face to face with what was. There is no delete feature, no cut and paste. Some may develop the ability to simply ignore or gloss over those parts. Others learn to absorb the emotion and remain unaffected. At other time we may try to rewrite that story and soon discover the futility of that exercise. The past really does not change, it remains fixed. We grow melancholy knowing the entire story and certain of the ending. We may forget that the story is not ended. We have grown so accustomed to looking to the past we forget the future.
 I have found in myself the ability to look at the past dispassionately. It really is like watching a movie. Thing is, it is a favorite movie of mine. Sure I know the story but still haven't figured out the plot. And it is that that retains my interest in the feature. I have learned that I really do not write the script. A higher power than myself does that. I often have doubts as to the nature of that power, but never do I doubt the power. It just could be we are not meant to know the author, just live the life. Equally as I often I appeal to the author in an attempt to influence the story. I'm certain how I want the tale to end.
 Each day the page turns. Will today be a continuation of yesterday or the end of a chapter ? We really can't know can we ? I know I hope it isn't the end of the book ! Life is an uncertainty and a fleeting thing. The past is there for us to enjoy, memory a gift. The other day I was speaking with some wise friends of mine. I wondered about those that suffer from Alzheimer's and their apparent loss of memory. I wondered if that gift was being withheld by that higher power. It was suggested to me that perhaps it was a mercy. We really don't know what is going on there at all. It just could be they are in another place and time, not necessarily a bad place to be. Maybe it is only we that suffer. I like that idea and so adopted that view.
 What I'm trying to say here is visit the past, but look to the future. Just because the movie may have grown a little long, and the story not what we expected, is no reason to only watch reruns. Stick around, the story hasn't ended and one can never be sure what will happen next. Even the smallest character can wind up the hero ! The end is in the future you won't find it in the past.

a brief memory

  Never one to believe in fortune tellers and the like, I don't believe you can see the future, and so I spend a good bit of time looking at the past. There is much that can be learned there, much was overlooked at the time. The old, hindsight thing. At other things I just enjoy a memory. Incidences captured in a brief moment on the celestial timeline. They cover the range of human emotion. Some memories are complete and I just visit them whenever I like. They are like old friends, always there no matter the time or distance. Others haunt me and I struggle to see them. They are always covered in a fog, like a horror show in the movies, and serve more as a warning, giving pause before I proceed. It is not exactly fear, rather a lack of understanding that causes that fog. The ones I enjoy the most always come as a surprise. One such as that arrived this morning as I sat before this keyboard.
 I have no big explanation as to why this little thing popped to mind. I sat down and began to type.  I can remember standing in the front door of my home, the sun shining through and Mom saying, we are going to start going to church. My immediate thought was, there goes Sunday. The next thing I remember is having joined the jr. choir, which practiced on Saturday morning 10 O'clock and attending church every Sunday. That would continue for at least five years, uninterrupted, and I have a prayer book signed by Reverend Davis to prove it. Five years perfect attendance ! And perfect meant just that, perfect.
 In the beginning Mom would take me to choir practice and church. At some point I began just riding my bicycle to St. Lukes church for choir practice. It was a distance of about three miles, just a short run back in the day. Mom still took my sister and I to church services. Looking back I can now see the irony in this little period in time. You see my Dad was a Methodist, St Lukes is an Episcopal church. But Mom had been married before, to a Catholic ! Following her divorce she couldn't go to the Catholic church anymore, that's the way it was back then. I had never seen my father go to church, ever. If he was there for my baptism I don't remember that, I would have to ask Mom. But Dad did drive the church bus on occasion. I expect Mom volunteered him. It is a memory of Dad driving that bus that came to mind this morning.
 It was a warm summer day that I remember. The church bus was mostly ridden by the kids that lived outside the village. The bus had a route that snaked through Northwest woods and I believe may have gone to other places as well. I really do not remember that route as I seldom rode the bus. But on this day Dad was driving and so I went with him. There is only event I truly remember that day and it was surprising. We were near the end of the route I suppose, as there were only a few kids left on the bus. Dad stopped that bus in front of the little corner store and asked, who wants ice cream ? I couldn't believe it. My Dad never did anything like this ? Perhaps driving the church bus had given him some sort of revelation or something. Reverend Davis told us the lord works in mysterious ways and this was certainly mysterious. Anyway, Dad did buy everyone an ice cream from Mary Damarks store that Sunday. To the best of my knowledge the only time he did so.
 About a year ago I was going through some old papers and photographs that my mother had given to me. In there I found a rolled up document. Carefully unrolling it I began to read the proclamation. It was a certificate of Recognition. Awarded to my father for perfect attendance of the Methodist church school dated October 1939. Dad would have been fifteen years old. Was that the last time he went to church ? I never though of my father as a church going man. He certainly wasn't a pious man. I do think he believed in a higher power than himself. I'm thinking the buying of that ice cream was his way of worshipping in a fashion. It was a Christian act at the very least. And one I apparently haven't forgotten.      

being civil

 I heard that a little home had been sold. I even wrote a blog about that as it touched a memory. The title was " a piece in time " and I posted it on January the eight of this year. It was the last home on that little dirt road where I was raised to pass into the hands of a stranger. This thought occurred to me. I could no longer knock on a single door on that lane and see a familiar face. I was a stranger in my own home ! That is because our first home is the neighborhood were we where raised. But I'm thinking that may no longer be the case. Many folks don't even know the neighbors anymore, let alone associate with them. Now we have to form an " association " to resolve our differences and establish guidelines.
 If there are children of the same age they will naturally gravitate towards one another. That is, if the parents allow that. I do think there are so many structured activities for the children now that they are not given the opportunity to form relationships on their own. I just wandered the neighborhood. There were times when there were no other children of my age on that dirt road. I made friends with the neighbors, adults. Yes, I made friends with adults, imagine that. We interacted with each other, I learning from them, and they, I believe, were often amused by me. We talked about stuff and they showed me stuff. I could stop by anytime and was welcomed. It wasn't a big deal, it was just life.        
 There was a mutual respect, each knowing their position in this social contract. I had no idea that is what making friends was, making a social contact, but that is what it is. There are certain responsibilities associated with this contract. The first and most important role was one of honesty. If you wish to gain someone's trust, we have to be honest, always. There are times when silence is the only way to maintain that honesty but silence lends itself to deceit. It does become easier to justify your silence by saying I am doing so to avoid confrontation. You know, if you don't have anything to say, don't say anything at all. That is a good thing : sometimes. The issue is always when ? I have spoken out of turn on too many occasions, a fault I readily admit to. I would rather err on the side of honesty, than deceit, even when that deceit is favorable. The question in that situation always being, to whose favor ?
 Now all this sounds a bit bleak. I do think we have lost a little bit of the past. Differences are best solved on a personal level but we now choose formal litigation. Why is that ? The desire to be " right " has grown out of proportion to being civil. It has gotten to the point where I can be sued for saying things judged to be " hateful. " Yes, there are laws against " hate speech " and now we are establishing crimes defined as " hate. " We are attempting to provide punitive measures for perceived motivation. How can I judge the mind of another person ? How can I know your motivation ? Unless you tell me, I can not.
 What has this to do with that little house on the hill ? The house represents the last of my home now relegated to history It is all what was and will never be again. But I realize that is only my history, my memories and my perceptions. Perhaps it is this " civilization " of man that will allow it to flourish. Can we run a nation, or a world, on social contracts ? The answer is no, we can not. So it follows that we require legal and binding contracts. The only impediment to its' success is a mutual motivator. But what then is that motivator ? Is it wealth ? It is health ? Or is it something completely different ?  Isn't it ironic how the more we establish " civilization " they more uncivil we are becoming.

emotional response

  I have always made an effort to deal with things as pragmatically as possible. Emotions are poor decision makers. Emotions are for songs, poetry and prose. They express the things we wish for, or believe that we once had. Either overly optimistic or filled with regret and sorrow emotion will pull you from the path. You can not build your life, or a nation solely upon emotion. There are the realities to be considered. Reality is not always pleasant or desirable but it isn't going away. There is no escape from it. One can try to medicate it away but that always ends the same way, destroying the person. You can choose to ignore reality and go blissfully along but eventually reality will smack you in the face. You may also choose to scream your frustrations to the world in a feeble attempt to change reality. It will change things alright but seldom the way you want it.
 It seems to me the country has been operating on emotion for too long. It is time for a more pragmatic approach. Is Donald J Trump the man to lead that effort ? I'm not convinced of that, he too expresses a great deal of emotion. All too often we mistake raw emotion as conviction. Then we act upon those emotions in an emotional way. We call it a protest. We begin to protest reality ! That is why you hear of so many demanding stuff of government that is not a function of government. Government does not exist to provide for the welfare of the people. Government exists to " govern " the people and their actions. To govern is to limit. Exactly why we use the phrase limited government. Our government, a constitutional republic, is exactly that. A government of the people. The people are required to govern themselves under this model of government. We have allowed our emotions to govern our actions far too long. Yes, we should have concern for all people. And do we not all put our own people first ? I mean, to whom are you going to give the last piece of bread, to your child or the neighbors child ? You will give it to yours ! That is normal and expected, that is reality. Yet many are demanding that the " government " force the neighbor to give that bread, your last slice, to the neighbor.
 I'm not infallible and get caught up in emotion as quickly as the next man. I try to temper that emotion but it can spill out. I have found that shouting can gain you attention but when you have little to say it is difficult to keep an audience. Some are resorting to just flinging out a bunch of expletives in an effort to prove their " passion. " Well consider this, " passion " can be a defense in a murder trial ! You know why ? Because passion can make you insane. Emotions are like that. We have allowed the government, by our own demands, to operate based on those emotions. Oh we pat ourselves on the back and say how we are the leaders of the free world. We are so enlightened. Yeah we have been  so busy taking care of the neighbors we have neglected ourselves ! While we concern ourselves with bolstering the economy of foreign nations we are going broke. While we send billions of dollars in aid to our " neighbors " we are suffering. We allow, indeed we encourage, our neighbors to steal from our larders. We provide sanctuary for these thieves ! And the whole time we ignore the reality of the situation and demand more. The world isn't fair ! Life isn't fair ! Let us create as much unrest and dissention in the country as possible, it is a cause. Yes, and cause is followed by effect. And if life is any teacher at all I can assure you there will be an effect. And almost always it isn't going to be what you expected or wanted.
 My suggestion is that everyone calm down and take stock. Set emotion to the side and look at the situation. What are the facts ? The facts may not be what you wish them to be but they remain fact. Calling them by a different name doesn't change that. There are inequities in life and their always will be. " The principle of Yin and Yang is a fundamental concept in Chinese philosophy and culture in general dating from the third century BCE or even earlier. This principle is that all things exist as inseparable and contradictory opposites, for example female-male, dark-light and old-young." ( Googled that )  This is evidence to me that at least three hundred years before the common era man was aware of this. It hasn't changed any since then and ain't likely to change anytime soon. Deal with it.

an unclear message

 I have been trying to grasp the purpose of that Woman's march on Washington and indeed around the world. For those marching in certain foreign lands it is quite simple and direct. Woman are treated with a degree of " legal " inequity. I sympathize with the cause. It is the women here in America that leave me a bit puzzled. Almost every " right " they were marching for they already have. Those inequities were fought for and achieved by previous generations. Not being a legal scholar can someone please tell me a single piece of legislation that restricts a woman rights ? Now, don't get that confused with what a woman or anyone else for that matter,  may want, that is a separate thing. The last I knew women had the same legal protections as men. Take this supposed " right " to choose. Does a man have a right to " choose ? " No, because we would call that murder. The point being it is not a right, but a choice. Simple enough to understand right ? So it is legalized murder, by virtue of being female, that you are marching for ? Men can't do that though. Hmm, seems a bit of inequity  exists in that legislation. You could make the argument that is already exists. That, however is an inconvenient truth. Can I demand a woman get an abortion ? No, that's not my choice is it ? She however can choose to do as she pleases.
 Now as near as I have been able to discern this march was really about being offended. The ladies are upset by the new President. For a reason I just can't seem to get a handle on they believe he is going to take away women's rights. Why ? Because of some crude remarks he made twenty years ago ? Yes you ladies have a right to be offended by that, justifiably so, but in case you are under some delusion the same or worse is said every day. Fact is, I have overheard the ladies saying much the same. I hear about pay inequality from some. Has a single woman in this country ever been forced to accept a job at a reduced pay ? The answer is no. Have women stayed employed because they felt like they needed the job ? Yes, they have, same as a man. I believe there are enough females CEO's and the likes to dispel any myth that women can not climb the corporate ladder. Is it easy ? Nope, isn't easy for a man either.
 And so as near as I can tell the women's march on Washington was a protest about the rights they already have. A protest because I'm offended and nervous. And the response was to what ? Put on a hat that signifies a " lady part " and shout in the streets for the rights I already have. And their " spokespeople " oh how the exemplified the righteous cause. Their speeches couldn't be broadcast on public media due to the language. The case certainly wasn't made by those displays.
 Now I'm not saying it was a protest of screaming hysterical women, although it certainly looked that way on television. I do understand that makes for good television and even better ratings. I'm as equally certain many ladies went there with good intentions. The question I have is, what was the intent ? What " legal " right was being fought for ? Or was this just a protest against life and gender ? Are you ladies mad because you are women ? Or is it that you want to be treated like a man ? Seriously I am a bit confused about the nature of the issue ? As I often write and say, MORALITY CAN NOT BE LEGISLATED. You can march, protest, make impassioned speeches all you want but you can not legislate moral behaviors. The best you can hope for is punitive actions after an offense has taken place. And isn't that what the " protest " was really about ? I don't believe any rational woman in the United States of America believes that Trump and his administration are going to remove anyone's rights. That is just ridiculous.
 I keep reading and waiting for some logical explanation. The only conclusion I can arrive at is it was a march of anger and disappointment. What proposed legislation was being championed ? Human rights ? I did see some signs saying that women are human too. Yes, has anyone said otherwise ? When a man is called a name, bullied, or touched inappropriately is that a violation of human rights ? Once again I repeat you can not legislate morality. You can only provide for punitive actions following the infraction. Sorry ladies I'm quite certain many of you felt like you were participating in a historic movement of some type. You have that right. All I saw was a giant temper tantrum ! I heard no constructive argument for any change in legislation. And the reason is quite simple, you already have those rights ! Want to champion some women and their treatment ? Look to those foreign nations and work towards getting those ladies the same rights you already enjoy right here in the good ole USA. Then you will have accomplished something besides crying about your disappointment in the current election. Channel your anger and indignation into something useful.

an " app " for living

 I'm thinking we need to develop a new " app. " I think that is what they call them anyway, short for application. This application would consist of a series of questions. You answer all the questions stating your opinions. Following an extensive evaluation of your personality profile you would then be matched with the appropriate social media. In that way no one gets offended. We can all just get on our personally tailored site and tell each other how much we love puppies, hate cancer and our political and religious belief, or lack of them. There would be no dissenters ! If we hate a particular person for their opinions we can just vilify them all day long. Have a regular hate fest ! And the best part is we can do that unencumbered by any inconvenient facts.
 We could expand this " app " and be required to wear a pin or ribbon to signify just what category we belong too. In that way we could avoid any social interaction with those of another " ribbon " or " pin. " We can have " safe zones " for each grouping just in case you feel stressed. Just duck in there and you be will reassured that you are a valuable member of society and given a participation award for bravery. You could even stay at home and receive support from the government. Well, if those mean people out there in the streets, the ones without a ribbon or a pin should cause anxiety what else can you do ? You could organize a mass shouting !  That'll get things done alright ! And the best part is we will safe in doing so. Maybe we can get a few celebrities to curse into the microphone because, you know, using four letter words adds so much credibility to their statements. Only celebrities are allowed to speak individually, private citizens must always be in a shouting crowd. If you aren't a celebrity you are obviously stupid or just plain ignorant. Well, unless you have a degree in liberal arts, then you are a activist ! Unemployed and marginalized but an activist. If you are a really good one you can become a millionaire just by keeping the pot stirred up ! It's a pretty sweet gig.
 If I sound a bit disgusted it is because I am. All I hear is a bunch of shouting. I keep hearing the same obvious statements made over and over. I'm not hearing anyone offer any suggestions or compromise. All I hear is the stating of extreme examples. The sky is falling, the sky is falling ! Have that many folks not read the story of Chicken Little ? All this clamor and chaos for what ? The stating of the obvious ? A collective temper tantrum because certain groups didn't get there way. And what is the big threat ? Accountability. That is the whole thing in a nutshell. A large portion of our society no longer accepting accountability or responsibility. That is a rather obvious statement in itself.
 Rights are the fundamental normative rules about what is allowed of people. Rights are not whatever you want to do. There does seem to be some confusion in that regard, Take this pro-choice idea for instance. Many women feel that is a right. Those same women would admit that murder is wrong. Why ? Because it isn't life before birth ? But what is birth ? Birth is bringing life into the world. So it logically follows that life must exist before birth, how else could it be brought into the world.              
 Societies are formed and establish certain " rights " within that society. Sometimes we call that ideology. It is ideology that changes through debate and discussion, not rights. The founding fathers stated that quite nicely with, " we hold these truths to be self evident." Note life was included in that. A society, a nation, does require fundamental formatives rules ! That is what we should be arguing about ! What is being allowed ?  Ideology is what forms a nation. Are we to adopt an ideology of each citizens defines their own " rights ? " In other words it is my right to do whatever I want ? That isn't government, that is anarchy. And that begins when the people abuse their rights ! Each citizen must be held accountable for their choices within the society. It is the choices you make that define your destiny !

Buckle up

   I've started several blogs this morning and deleted them. I do self censure myself. When I read them back to myself and discover they really say little I think of as constructive. I realize that you all may disagree with that assessment but I am the editor. I found that I am just angry this morning. Those blogs I started to compose where filled with anger and a degree of resentment. The problem lies in I am not sure where to direct that anger and resentment. The truth is it would accomplish little if I did. I may garner a few folks that will leave comments about how they agree with me. I do not write my blogs to receive platitudes. Yes, I like it when folks agree with me, of course I do, but that is not the purpose of these writings and ramblings. If I wanted that I could just write about puppies, hating cancer and I love Jesus. That would be easy enough but not constructive. No I write to discuss, even when I'm only talking to myself.
 I find that I am angry this morning. I'm angry that the more things change the more they seem to remain the same. I just don't see any progress being made. The last eight years I have seen no progress. Donald Trump is now the president and all I see is opposition. I didn't vote for him but he is driving the ship so to speak. Opposing him and his administration is like hoping the ship hits an iceberg ! Then I can scream, I told you so as I'm drowning. Wouldn't it be wiser to be building lifeboats ! Just my opinion. I'm angry at those operating in the extremes. And that is from both sides of the fence. I fear the more one side riots, the stronger the response will be. Like it or not this administration is not likely to just fold and go home. The days of " getting your way " by screaming a bunch of catch phrases and rioting are coming to an end. The very fact that Donald J Trump won the election should be proof enough of that. The people have just had enough of this ! I, along with a lot of other folks didn't believe Trump would win. He did ! Regardless of any complaining and whining he won ! I admit I was surprised and a bit taken aback. I didn't think we were that desperate for change. Obviously we are.
 Yes, I'm angry and disappointed. I'm disappointed in my fellow Americans that behave the way they do. We are supposed to be an example of freedom and democracy but what are some showing the world ? They are disgracing everything our fathers and mothers worked for. They are a disgrace to that legacy. I'm not saying they should be out waving the flag but they certainly shouldn't be rioting in the streets ! Just what can be accomplished in that fashion ? Do these people believe that Trump will just resign and Hillary gets the Presidency ? To what end ?
 You know many " old " folk are described as being angry. It is something I have noticed myself. They may be described in a number of different ways like, contrary, cantankerous, bitter, caustic or resentful. Fact is they are angry and I'm thinking I'm beginning to understand why. It is frustration that causes that anger. You spend a lifetime learning about life. You try to tell others what you have learned to only have it dismissed. It happens generation after generation. It is a frustration. I do try to vent that frustration with these writings. I don't want to be an angry old man. Anger is a strong motivator however and perhaps that is what has been missing. The people have contained their anger long enough. They have finally spoken out. Anger can lead to violence and that troubles me. I just pray that folks calm down a bit. Thing is I don't see that happening any time soon. It's gonna be a rocky road my friends, buckle up.

Transistion

 Let me begin by stating I did not vote for Donald J Trump. Take that for whatever it is worth. The campaign was a nightmare for all of us. If we continue in the same vein this presidency will accomplish little to nothing. Although it is not the first time, we have Congressmen boycotting the inauguration. Do not those same Congressmen represent all the people in their districts ? Having won their respective election, just like Trump, are they then not bound to represent all the people ? I don't appreciate that they choose to ignore that obligation. Listen, like it of not Trump is going to be their boss in a manner of speaking. It is my belief they should all be there to witness the transition of that position. If my Congressman fails to attend I will fail to vote for him/her. Simple as that. No marching in the street, no crying and whining on my part, just a simple response to an action.
  It is my hope that all goes well today. I expect there will be disruptions. I pray no one is hurt. It pains me to see what is going on though. It is a national embarrassment as far as I am concerned. The rest of the world looks to America and what is it that they are seeing now ? We are acting more like some third world banana republic than the leaders of the free world. The impression is not one of " solidarity " a term the left loves to throw around for every case and cause. Well, let's all get behind America and work towards that goal ! Let us set aside our personal wants and needs in benefit to the nation as a whole. My candidate didn't win either, in fact he didn't even get honorable mention and that is alright. You won't hear me calling for him to get some kind of participation award !
 It is going to be a rocky road that much is certain. It will be a time of extremes. Those on the left whining and crying about each and every move made by the current administration, the one that begins at noon today. Those on the right will be clamoring to make bold statements. My biggest fear is that we will degenerate into business as usual. I fear that not much will change at all. A government in turmoil can not govern effectively. We need to seek common ground and set the disappointments of the past aside. They also need not gloat and make hasty or rash decisions just because they can.
 As for me I believe in America and the American way. The electorate has spoken, the choice has been made. It really does no good to cry over spilled milk ! Other presidents have been just as controversial and the country survived. You know there was this ramble rouser that was boycotted by the Democrats for his desire to destroy the economy of the south ! His name was Abraham Lincoln and he wanted to free the workforce ! Free the workforce ! Yes, it is a historical fact. It lead to a civil war and that same President managed to keep the country together. I'd say he did alright. Now we have President Trump. Perhaps it is time to have a businessman direct the business of government. It does seem like the biggest issue is finances, doesn't it ? So many feeling that the government should provide all these services at no charge. Perhaps if nothing more Trump can restore some financial stability. I don't have a choice so I'll give him a chance at it anyway. I can't help but think it wouldn't matter a hoot to the majority of these protesters who was the President is if they were guaranteed their " free " stuff. " Following the civil war all the freed slaves were promised " forty acres and a mule." Many politicians offering " free stuff. " It could be argued that none where more deserving of that " free stuff " but few every received it. The promise and the law were two different things. Trump is making promises we'll see if he follows through. We have to give him the chance. If you don't want to help, that's fine, just don't hinder.

the business of humanity

 I want to tell you about someone I know. How should I do that ? Would it be sufficient that I tell you of their character ? Is that all the description you require ? Well, it should be, but we all know that it isn't. No, we do need more context don't we ? And what do we usually begin with ? Whether they are male or female adds immediate context doesn't it ? Why is that ? The fact is they are different animals, aren't they ? Yes, there is no denying that. Same species different gender. A gender determined by birth. That person may choose to alter that later on. That speaks to their character though, not their gender. Setting that distinction aside my next descriptor is going to be what ? The color of their skin. The color of their skin defines their race, isn't that correct ?  No, it isn't correct but it is what most of us are taught to believe. In America we do view races as more or less black and white, with a recognition of the native Americans. For many years we called them what ? Red Skins so there you go. It is from these starting points that we begin our descriptions of each other. The reasons are obvious, They are the things we see first !
 So where does racism originate ? It is found in preconceived notions of how people will respond in certain social situations. America was founded predominately by white skinned Europeans. That is the society, or at least it used to be. That is not to say it was, or is, superior to any other society. The " red skins " were subdued, there lands taken. Those with black skin were bought and sold at the market. They were predominately from Africa being sold by Muslim traders. Strange isn't it that those same white Europeans didn't object to doing business with them, after all, their skin isn't exactly white either. But they were called the " Muselmen " now called Muslims. We were by no means friends with them, it was just business. In fact several of the founding fathers expressed great concern over these " Muselmen. " It was they, by a majority, that became the Barbary coast pirates.
 The goal is to eliminate racism. The question is how ? I certainly don't have an answer for that. I do have thoughts about a beginning though. How about the way we describe each other. The moment I apply a " label " to you ideas are formed. If I say you are black or white or an Indian you form a picture of that person. It is my thought if we just quit making a big deal about that it would help. Isn't it rather insulting when a white guy says, I'm not a racist, I have black friends. I can't recall ever hearing a black man say that about his white friends. Why is that ? Is it only that white folks are racists ? Certainly seems to be the narrative I hear most often. As a white guy if I associate with black people it is viewed as an exception is it not ? Why ? I have heard that if black folks hang out with white folks that can be viewed quite harshly in the black community.
 On Martin Luther King day I wrote about this. I was talking about the character of a person. Isn't it the character that makes the person ? The color of your skin does not define your character. MLK said that very thing but apparently not many are listening. We have continued to form an opinion on the character of a person based solely on their skin color. I'm just as guilty of this as the next man. If I want to tell you about someone and that someone is white, I probably won't mention that. Should that person be of a different skin tone, I will most likely mention that. Why is that ? I'm ashamed to admit that is simply because I do relate certain character traits with specific skin colors. Is that fair ? Of course it isn't and it is something that needs to be changed. It is as Dr. King said, the content of your character, not the color of your skin, that should be the standard in our society. That was the original intent of the founding fathers. That is exactly what they meant when they penned those words " All men are created equal. " The issue lies in not all men respond equally. Equal opportunity also does not guarantee equal results. This is true regardless of skin color.
 In certain contexts saying you are black will get me labeled a racist. At other times it may be acceptable, like if I am giving you an award. Then it is permissible to say you are an African-American or Hispanic almost as if it were further proof of your worthiness. We even have an entire month devoted to the history of Black Americans. Why is that ? Are they not Americans and included in American history ?  Why should they be singled out ? When you think about it, it is rather condescending in a fashion. When we learn to get past this we will have made significant progress,when you or I can say, without fear of judgement, that a person is white, black or whatever. That is to say when that is taken as a simple descriptor, like male or female or short and tall. We laugh and joke about statements made in that regard. Blonde jokes, short people jokes and the like are dismissed. Why don't we do that when we say someone is black ? Is it culture ? The dictionary describes culture as : the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively : as in American culture. Why should we as Americans believe that African-Americans have a different culture than our own ? Have not African-Americans been instrumental in forming our culture, the American culture ? I'm not a European-American why do many black folk automatically assume they are African-Americans ? Fact is, they are just as American as I am. Their beginnings in this country are certainly of a different circumstance that can't be denied, although even that isn't 100% accurate. Certainly a majority though. But that isn't the point. The point being what culture are they born to for I don't believe you can just adopt a culture. I come from German descent but could spend a lifetime and never fully understand the German culture. So that begs a question, is it culture or character that defines us ? Martin Luther King was correct in that it is character.
 And so I have written the obvious once again. We all are inherently aware of all I have said. I believe that. It is only our own agendas that interfere with that. It really is all about business isn't it ? What is the business of humanity ? Now there is a big question.

can't you just ?

 The difference being getting it done or doing it. Those really are separate actions. Getting it done may be as simple as buying whatever it is. But " doing it ", that is actually creating whatever it is you want or need. As an example, a shelf. I can go to Lowe's, buy the thing complete with mounting hardware and get it done. Now, doing it requires a great deal more. First I must think about what I need. Will a simple shelf suffice ? All depends doesn't it ? If the wife just wants to put some shelves in the closet to straighten up that is probably what she wants, to get it done. If she then asks her husband to do that, in other words submits her request to the engineering department, she just may discover she needs so much more. Yes the chances are just getting it done isn't enough.  No, if the engineer is going to " do it " the project just got more complicated. Design and development will take some time.
 That is what happens at my house all the time. After the request comes to the engineering department (me) design and development does begin. After the measurements are taken and all the possibilities explored a design does take shape. The design is then submitted to the approving agency (the wife) whose usual response begins with " can't you just. " Three words that will drive any engineer crazy. Can't you just ? No, of course I can't just, otherwise I wouldn't have designed what I did. From there the conversation goes to, yes I could just buy it but I can build a better one. I'm not building this for you as a hobby you know, this is a life skill ! It is this building that made America great. Sure we could have " just bought " that tea from the British but then we wouldn't have a country. So, you see it isn't something I want to do, I have to do it. You asked me to didn't you ?
 Now the other half of this is the domestic tranquility department, that's the wife. That is what she is in charge of. All those little details that make life enjoyable and a pleasant experience. She does cook, clean and take care of the house. And it will be made clear that is not a hobby ! She isn't doing that for the fun of it. It is also as equally foolish to say to that department, can't you just ? No I can't just, any fool can see those colors don't go together, we'll have to repaint. That is of course relegated to the engineering department. It won't be the sole responsibility of the engineering department however, there will be an overseer. The overseer will ask, at least several times, can't we just. This is the project of the domestic tranquility department, before it is over the full range of human emotions will have been explored. Emotions and engineering rarely work together. The creative and the creator. The more I think about it God must have been a woman. Life is too full of contradictions for it to have been otherwise. That is also where " can't you just " came from. God saying to man, " can't you just " do as I say ?

In the comfort zone

 It's mid January and the holidays are a memory. Were they memorable ? Not particularly this year. Nothing happened out of the ordinary to make it so. It was very pleasant, I enjoyed them but nothing more. Thankfully nothing negative happened either. I am among the blessed to be able to say that. There are many in the world not so fortunate. The holidays can be a time of depression and loneliness. They can also be a period of stress if you allow that to happen. When I was a child it was a time just filled with expectation. I just knew Santa was going to bring me whatever. I was so excited on Christmas morning I usually forgot what it was I was so expecting ! Remember that ? Then I became a parent and would stress about Santa coming. I wasn't always quite so sure that Santa was going to able to get those gifts. That began to be less of a worry when I became Santa's assistant, ie: a grandparent. Hey, it is up to the big man to provide those high end gifts ! LOL. In more recent years I don't stress nearly as much. I have learned to relax a bit. It is best when the only gifts exchanged are gifts of love and understanding. A difficult thing to accomplish in this material world of ours. The difficulty lying in that desire to make those you love happy. I wouldn't want to disappoint.
  Memories do not reside in the gifts we receive but in the fulfillment of expectation. This year I was fortunate to have my expectations met. Our little family was safe and warm. We had food to eat and everyone in good health. Was it memorable ? Only in the light of contentment. I will remember the Christmas of 2016 as a Christmas similar to all  others and that is a good thing. It is a comfort to an aging man. Old enough to understand and still young enough to have those expectations. Life has not defeated me, and my God has not disappointed. I have received the things I prayed for, time and again. And so my memory is one of happiness and fulfillment. Right there in the comfort zone. My prayer is to remain there.

The shadow or the tree ?

“The Seven Social Sins are:

Wealth without work.
Pleasure without conscience.
Knowledge without character.
Commerce without morality.
Science without humanity.
Worship without sacrifice.
Politics without principle.

 This is an excerpt from a sermon by Frederick Lewis Donaldson concerning a mans' character.  

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.  Martin Luther King

Each of these men spoke of character. The first defining just what he felt character to be and the later calling for the implementation of those values. Interesting to note is that Donaldson called them the Seven Social Sins and Dr. King was a Reverend. Had the good Dr. read that sermon before writing his own speech ? It is completely possible, indeed, I would say likely. Dr. King was addressing the African-American community wasn't he ? Of course he was, he is their champion. He was a champion of character. A man to be admired for his courage and convictions. Today we have a holiday to celebrate his life. His most well known speech is the " Dream " speech. Given on the steps of the Lincoln memorial in the summer of 1963 it was his call to action. If you listen or read the words of that speech you realize it is character that he was addressing. Yes, he acknowledged all the injustice to his " people " the negroes. He called for a peaceful protest, a protest fought with moral fortitude, not with violence.

   

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it ; the tree is the real thing.  Abraham Lincoln.

In thinking about this I can't help but think of what reputation the African-American in America has garnered for himself. It is a shadow, dark and menacing. It is not the tree. And isn't that also what Dr. King was talking about ? The content of your character, not the color of your skin entitles you. Donaldson wasn't speaking of the Negro, he was speaking to all mankind. Dr. King was focused upon the injustice he saw before him, his people. But he wasn't just addressing his people he was also speaking to all men. What he was saying was the same message as Donaldson. Each spoke of the character required to obtain domestic tranquility. What exactly is domestic tranquility ? Mentioned in the preamble to the Constitution I'd say it was of primary importance. The purpose of government is to ensure domestic tranquility. Simply stated, for all of us to just get along with one another. That can only be achieved when the " seven social sins " are avoided. These sins apply to everyone in the society, Yes, everyone. And on this day, when we are all to remember Dr. King and his message we should consider what he said, about the content of our character. The character of a nation is a reflection of the character of its' citizens.

 Let's review those seven sins.

1. wealth without work. That is an easy one isn't it ? We excuse it by substituting the word charity and when we become uncomfortable with that, we label it a social obligation.

2. Pleasure without conscience. If it feels good and doesn't hurt anyone else, it's fine. That is the only measure of morality we need be concerned with.

3. Knowledge without character. Knowing all these things but failing to act upon them.

4. Commerce without morality. As long as we make a profit it is okay ! We will figure a way to justify it. Perhaps it has a " medicinal " use ? Or the ever popular, a portion of the proceeds will go to the children. Old people and animals are great excuses as well.

5. Science without humanity. Unwanted/unexpected children, just terminate them. After all, we could always use the " parts " for research or sell them to the needy.

6. Worship without sacrifice. No need to attend services and sacrifice your precious time. No need to openly confess your spirituality or belief in God and expose yourself to ridicule. You can always refer to science to justify that. And if we do attend services we will go as celebrants, not supplicants. In that way we go forth with pride not as humble servants. Why that is just humiliation isn't it ?

7. Politics without principle. Say or do whatever is necessary to get elected. Once elected just blame  your constituents for any decision you make that may be unpopular. In that way displaying your " principles " of integrity. I was elected to do the bidding of the electorate ! I don't care about my principles, I mean, I do, but I don't. 

 I believe you would have to agree that all these things are present in our society today. Truth is, they always have been. It is just troubling when I see the moral compass swinging wildly about. It is impossible to judge the direction we are headed. In years past the destination was clear. That isn't to say we weren't struggling to stay on course, we certainly did. We even had a civil war about that ! And now I fear I see a change in direction. Are we moving to the " dark " side ? Are we looking at the shadow or the tree ?   

important moments

 They're just old photographs hanging on the wall. I see those faces everyday. They look down on me and it sometimes causes me consternation. Many of them I never knew, yet we are connected. They are mostly before, while I'm after. After is supposed to be better isn't it ? I wonder if I measure up ? I admit I feel lacking. Have I taken the easy road ? Truth is the road was paved for me by those ancestors, the work was done. It is up to me to further pave the way. What have I done for those after me ? Is that dependent upon material things ? Is that the measure of a legacy ? No, it isn't but just the easiest to identify and display. I feel like we may be losing our way. The way is too easy, and we are  dependent. We expect everything to be provided for us. But what of those faces in the pictures ? Did they feel the same way ? Did they contemplate the future as well ? I'm certain that they must have. I'm equally as certain they felt much the same way as I do today. The soul of man doesn't really change over time. It is my feeling that our souls are shared after our passing. That is the eternal life we are promised. If God is the light then God is energy. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only transformed. Keeping in mind there is both positive and negative energies. Each is essential to the flow on that energy. But that is a theological discussion for another day.
 I see those faces from the past and think about what they may have hoped and dreamed. Oh, I knew a few of them, the tales that they told of their youth. There is only one that I know intimately and that is myself. I have a picture of myself from years past and do remember. I remember what I thought and felt at that time. It is a source of private amusement. And in that realization I know it surely is that way for us all. Looking into the eyes of those in the pictures I try to hear their voices. For surely we speak through our eyes, but only for the moment. Those pictures capture that moment. What are they saying ? In the formal pictures, the ones posed, I mostly see pride. In the others, the candid shots , I can see many moods. Some are happy, some show a deep sorrow and still others a resignation. That is what I see anyway. It is those that make me question.
 It is true that one day I will be a picture on a wall, hopefully anyway. I will be a memory for a while, then an ancestor. One day I will be just a face from the past. We have the ability to record our voices and create video presentations, the modern version of home movies. How many movies are hanging on a wall ? Rarely do you see that. I do believe photographs will always be displayed. Some pictures hold but a flicker of light from a day gone by, while others may light the way. Sentiment and inspiration both reside within them. Ever since man first drew on the wall of a cave somewhere, it has been so. A record of something important. Each moment is important as without them there wouldn't be another.  

civil discourse

 I enjoy Facebook, I really do. It is, for the most part a congenial place to be. An escape from the world around you. I'm thinking perhaps I have been spending too much time there. Either that or the world " out there " has taken on some disturbing changes. I don't have that many folks on my " friends " list but I'm guessing it is friends of friends. Whatever the case may be the circle seems a bit wider than a few years ago. Hey, it is a big world out there. As that world grows the introduction of different behaviors is unavoidable. It is rather like going to school, we didn't do that at home. Then on to college or the service and we didn't act like that at school. However you choose to look at it, things change. I am seeing changes now that I find unsettling. I think it is a lack of decorum that troubles me the most. This isn't a recent discovery on my part, I have noticed it for a while and have mentioned it before. It s just today, I feel uncomfortable, and so feel perhaps I'm getting overexposed.
 It is not in my nature to be conciliatory. If I see or hear what I consider inappropriate content I will speak up. It is that very action that causes some of the discomfort I am feeling. You could say it was self inflicted and I got what I deserved. It is true that Facebook is for everyone to use as they see fit. Although Facebook itself does have terms of use. It is a shallow attempt to control the content. Still, we wouldn't want to impact business. Others will say, I refuse to be censored, I can say whatever I want. In my thinking that is an admission that they realize that content shouldn't be shared in a " public " way. I also believe many engage in this behavior  to garner " friends " or popularity. The same reason television and the movies exploit sex and violence to garner ratings. Appeal to a persons baser instincts and you can be popular. Nobody likes a goody two shoes.                                             
 Yesterday it did strike me that Facebook is a reflection of society. I had thought it wasn't a real representation because of my limited friends list. But it is, as I am seeing posts from all manner of folks, different age groups. Facebook is the old folks media though. I am not brave enough to be on Twitter or FaceTime, whatever the kids are using these days. I'm quite certain I would be appalled. It is best I avoid that. What troubled me yesterday was the realization there are a lot of folks my age or older that seem to have adopted this attitude of defiance. A defiance of convention and civil discourse

Civil discourse is engagement in discourse (conversation) intended to enhance understanding. Kenneth J. Gergen describes civil discourse as "the language of dispassionate objectivity", and suggests that it requires respect of the other participants, such as the reader. 

I looked up that definition to ensure it was saying what I intended. Kenneth J. Gergen is a psychologist and holds a PhD. Guess that makes him pretty smart. I arrived at the same conclusion he did, it just took me longer. It is respect for the " reader " that seems to be missing in a lot of postings. As I have mentioned before it was what we called " polite " company back in the day. You knew what should and shouldn't be said in " polite company. " What happened to that ? It has been my experience that when you spend most of your time being defensive, it is because you are offensive ! One does not need to feel threatened when one is doing right. As Roosevelt said, walk softly but carry a big stick.   

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Where am I going ?

 I have decided I'm just going where the road takes me. When I was a younger man I used to think that I could change that but it isn't so. No, every step I have taken was predetermined. A force greater than myself has directed those steps. The path I have followed has been a curious one. When you think of a guide one always believes the guide knows the path. It certainly hasn't been the path I envisioned it might be. I question whether it is because I haven't always listened to the guide, or that this is indeed the path the guide wanted me to take ? How can you know ? I'm thinking it is only when the destination is reached that I will be aware. I do fear that the destination may be nothing more than an end. I believe that is something most of us dread. We don't want to end but go on forever. Isn't that the premise of our religious beliefs ? No matter which religion you follow the promise is a continuation of this life, is it not ? I find I can not understand those that profess no belief whatsoever. It is my feeling they are being less than honest, with themselves. How can you think that you just live and die ? Those that believe that will say I can't accept the finality of death. I can understand why they would say that. I'd say it to reaffirm my position as well. It really is no different than what I say, it is belief. Belief doesn't require proof.
 It seems like I have only been passing through. There have many times when I felt like I had arrived. This is who and what I am, I have arrived. Truth is I am just passing through. All those little stops I  made along the way have contributed to who I am. Some of those stops lasted years and others happened in an instant. There were times when I just stumbled a bit and others when I fell completely down. At other times I have walked, head held high, convinced of my direction. But the destination always lies ahead of me and I'm in no hurry to reach it.
 What then am I here to do ? That is the question most often asked. Am I here to do solely for others ? If that were the case what are the others doing for me ? There are times when I feel like I'm not getting much help ! That of course speaks to our expectations doesn't it ? What is it that I expect from the world ? To live comfortably, have friends and family that love and care for me, and to contribute to their lives. Yes, but I do want something for myself. We are told that is a selfish thing and I suppose it is. Well, I have learned on this path of discovery called life I'm no saint. Only a saint can be selfless. And another truth is, I don't want to be a saint. I do like having a good time. The sticking point is in the defining of a good time. That definition has certainly changed over the years. I do feel entitled to a good time though. I feel like I have earned that much. For the most part I would say I am a congenial fellow. Congeniality, I have discovered , is dependent upon the society in which you live. It would seem the neighborhood has changed a bit since the election. Another turn in the highway.
 There are times when that restless feeling comes over me. I guess from all those years of moving around when I was in the Navy. Moving from place to place and being in company with different folks. What I mean is, I never got to establish a relationship with those folks for more than two or three years. I was never really a neighbor for very long, just passing through. It's true I have been in Greensboro for over twenty some years now. Somehow I still don't feel settled. Is it my guide speaking to me ? Or is it that I'm just not listening ? I can't say. All I can do is keep on, keepin' on, as the saying goes. I'm still curious, still questioning, and I believe that to be a good thing. That isn't to say I can't report my observations.  

“Maturity is when you stop complaining and making excuses in your life; you realize everything that happens in life is a result of the previous choice you’ve made and start making new choices to change your life.”
― Roy T. Bennett

Mr. Bennett made that observation and I can't say I disagree with him. Well those " Bennetts " are pretty smart fellows you knw. :)

     

a vexation

 There are things that don't matter right ? Not every thing said or done has significance but I forget that sometimes. I wonder why that is ? I suppose it is a desire to be right, on the other hand, who wants to be wrong ? We should pick and choose our battles carefully, as the old saying goes. I often fail to do so and as a result become weary. And that is what it is a great deal of the time, I'm tired. Tired of people hating and being contrary. Tired of people that refuse to listen to common sense. Tired of trying. Thing is, I'm not even sure what I hope to accomplish in this world. I do believe we are all here to make a contribution. That contribution can not be made without acceptance. And there is the rub. When others refuse your contribution you are left dissatisfied. That is when you decide that it just doesn't matter. You dismiss it as irrelevant or meaningless. Truth is, it isn't, at least not to you. So does that then mean everything does matter ?  Well, it should, to you. If it really doesn't matter to you, what is the contribution ? Meaningless
 I do think there are times when I get involved in things that others believe to be important. You know how we are told we should be " concerned " and work for justice. We should all be worried about this or that. Problem is I can not sustain that much " empathy. " Yes, there are " issues " I'm not concerned with because I feel I can not effect any meaningful change. It is then I should just say nothing. Good advice but I don't follow it. Now there is an old saying, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. The squeaky wheel is crying out for attention. That is how I feel on occasion and I believe that is human nature. The better course of action would be to remain silent. Of course if you remain silent that can lead to a breakdown. If I don't hear the squeaky wheel will I pay it any attention ? If I were a good steward of things I would, performing preventative maintenance on that wheel, checking the grease. More likely however, I will not, as I am not focusing my attention on prevention but getting where I'm going.
 I woke up this morning thinking I should concentrate more on prevention. I need to give myself a rest. That came about as I read some responses to my postings. The responses that annoyed me really do not make a difference. It was then I thought, why , why does it bother you ? It bothers me because I feel like my contribution is being refused or rejected. It is as simple as that. I am sometimes made to feel like my contribution is inferior. A human frailty ? Yes I believe it is and every one of us has it. I also know that there are some " flaws " we should just accept and learn to live with them. Sustained defiance is an effort. That is another truth. I'm tired.
 You know my father had a saying, either " defecate  " he use more colorful terminology, or get off the pot ! What he was saying was make up your mind ! You are not impressing anyone with continued discussion. Decide upon a course of action and just take that course ! Yeah, you're not going to be wrong if you don't act, but you won't be right either. At age 63 I have made up my mind about certain things and they have become my beliefs. Just like setting the cornerstone of a building, you have to decide upon that before you can begin to build. You can't go changing your mind every five minutes. The real question is, does it matter what I think ?  Does to me. But everyone feels that way. It's a vexation  alright.
 Sometimes we think out loud. It doesn't mean a thing. Well I write out loud on occasion. This one of them. It may or may not make sense to anyone else. Today that is not important. I'm just sharing out loud. 

read the signs

 I had a short discussion yesterday about parenting. I have reached the conclusion that my parents basically used fear and intimidation as the primary motivator. That and the fear of going to hell. It isn't that love and understanding weren't utilized, they certainly were, but my attention was held by the former. And I have to say it was very effective. It wasn't quite as strict as their parents practiced, after all, we have made progress, right ? Judging by the kids today I'm not so certain about that, but that can be said for every generation.
 I was motivated to listen by threats. Yes, that is the truth of it. I'll put my foot up your *ss was a common one. I never wanted to find out if he would or not. Call it risk and reward. For the most part whatever behavior I was considering at the moment was usually not worth the risk. Those " promises " did influence my thinking. One thing was certain, if they said it, they meant it. Even when they knew they were wrong, they were right. How many times I heard, this is going to hurt me more than you, I can't say. I do know that it never did, at least not in my opinion. On the other hand it was best to not dispute that claim. Wisdom ? No more like self preservation. And that is what the lesson plan was, how to survive in the world. It isn't always fair but deal with it. You do not get to change the identity of anything. Call a spade a spade . Quit crying or I'll give you something to cry about. My how that has changed. At 18 I would have been totally mortified to be seen crying. Now, these college kids cry and are given coloring books to cope with their stress. Pleeeease, stress ? Stress is when Dad said you had better straighten up and fly right, whatever that meant. Stress is when you hear your mother say, " wait till your father gets home. " Stress is when you are asked, " if all your friends jumped off a bridge would you do that too ? " Stress is when you heard, " you made your bed, now lie in it. " Yeah that was stress and you learned to deal with it.
 In the middle of all that was good advice and a genuine concern for you and your future. My parents felt it was their duty to prepare me for the world. Teachers, and others were there to assist, but the primary responsibility was theirs. It was impressed upon me that I was responsible for the choices I made. How many lectures were prefaced with " you knew better than that " and I was made to feel awful foolish. Fact is, I was a great deal of the time. Yeah, I was just being a kid but that in itself is not an excuse. Your job, as a child, is to learn, not repeat mistakes. Yes you can have a good time doing that. All you have to do is avoid bad behaviors and stupid choices. Those things carried consequences, serious consequences, up to and including eternal damnation ! Hey God forgives if you make an honest mistake, but not if you choose to sin. No different than your parents really. If you didn't know you might be forgiven, reprimanded and given time to absorb the lesson if you pray hard enough,  but if you " knew better " that was it ! Hell loomed large on the horizon and hell wore a size nine shoe.
 That seems to the problem nowadays. These kids have no fear. As a result they have no coping skills. They haven't learned to navigate in the real world. Confused and offended by bullies and people that don't agree with them. Their response is protest ! Really just a temper tantrum that accomplishes nothing but gaining attention. And that was something I learned very quickly, best not to draw attention to yourself. Not unless you figured you could stand up to close scrutiny and that wasn't often. Make a big fuss ? Not a wise decision at all. Want attention, you'll get attention all right, intense therapy will be applied immediately, even in public ! Most especially in public as the threshold of tolerance was quite a bit lower in those situations. And it only took a glance in your direction to know that. One head tilt and a widening of the eyes from Mother was like a fire signal going off. It got your attention ! With Dad I would hear, that's it, I've had it. Time to duck and cover.
 Yes it was fear and intimidation alright. Strange how looking back I can't recall getting spanked very often. Oh, it happened no doubt about that. It wasn't abusive in any way. I was never hit or punched, nothing like that.  Guess the intimidation factor was enough. I like to think I just developed good sense. There are things worth the risk and I did take those risks. I learned a sense of value. I did take pause to ask myself, is it worth the risk ? More often than not, it wasn't worth it. I did learn that my wants and needs were entirely different things. I found it best to concentrate on my needs. Those wants now, they could be trouble. Best thing there is to give them careful consideration. The road to hell may be paved with good intentions but the road signs are wants and needs.  

Homer's closet

I believe I have told this story before but it is worth repeating, at least in my opinion it is. At my Grandmothers house she had a closet at the far end of the pantry. She called it Homers closet. I was not to open that door under any circumstances. I didn't know who or what Homer was but I was scared of him. I stayed well away from that closet door. That door had an old black latch on it. You know the type, a simple straight bar that dropped into the catch. It somehow looked menacing to a five year old. It was bad enough going into the pantry. That room was a long narrow corridor lined with shelves on one side. Mom tells me when she was a child that pantry would have been full of home canned goods. When I saw it, it was just old and dusty with a few scattered ball canning jars sitting forlorn on the shelf. I couldn't tell you what else was on those shelves but whatever it was it wasn't inviting. Grandma did keep her bars of Octagon soap out there. She bought that stuff by the case, it is what she washed clothes with. The bluing was out there as well. Mostly she just used that pantry to store the saw horses she placed her wash tubs on. Homers' closet was at the far end.
 As the years went by and I grew older I stayed clear of that closet. At some point, I can't say when, I grew braver and asked about it. Grandma laughed and told me all about it. She explained how the drum of kerosene used to fill the heater in the parlor was in there, along with other household chemicals. She was worried that little ones might open the spigot on that drum and get kerosene on them or on the floor. The chemicals in there weren't anything for children to be around either. So, she called it Homers' closet and told me to stay away. Fact is I was scared to death of that closet ! As I said I don't know who or what Homer was supposed to be but I wanted no part of it. Her plan worked beautifully as I stayed cleared. I might have a few psychological scars but I'm alive !
 I was reminded of this story the other day when I was talking with my mother. She asked if I remembered Homer Collyers room. I laughed telling her I remembered Homers' closet. She went on to tell me the rest of the story. Seems Grandma said that Homer Collyer lived in there. She went on to tell me about the Collyer brothers. The Collyer brothers were, what we would call today,  hoarders. They lived in a brownstone in New York in the 1940's. They gained some notoriety for their eccentric lifestyle. They lived in among all the junk they collected in little cave like spaces. They crawled from one space to the other. It is really quite a bizarre story if you read about them. The place was booby trapped to prevent thieves taking their stuff. Homer Collyer triggered one of his own booby traps and was crushed under a pile of his own junk ! The other brother, who was blind died of starvation because he couldn't find his way out.
 Grandma thought there was so much stuff in that old room that it was equally as dangerous. That is how it got the name of Homer Collyer's closet ! And all these years I thought it was something my Grandmother had made up. I even named a dog I had Homer. That dog wasn't scary at all and wouldn't hurt anyone but I was thinking about Homer's closet when I named him. I have to admit it was a very effective strategy on her part. And it is a story I will keep on telling, maybe to the great grandkids one day.
 If you want to read the story just google Homer Collyer, it is an interesting read.

in mind and memory

 The last few mornings I have been walking down memory lane. I admit it is a place I spend a lot of time these days. The reason is a simple one, it is a comforting place to be. I hear you should live in the moment and that is good advice but I do enjoy reliving the past. The strange part about it is that I constantly learn new things. The past isn't always what we remember it to have been. Do you know what I mean ? It does take having an open mind about it though. One thing I have learned over the years is to not be so sure of the past. Too many times I found I didn't have the whole picture, just a small piece of the puzzle. Then, in my mind I filled in the missing pieces. More than once it wasn't the picture it should have been. I guess what I'm trying to say is the past isn't written in stone after all, it is written in our minds and memory. Both of those things can be wrong.
Yesterday I learned I lived at number ten Hunting Road. That is what it says on the map today. When I lived there we didn't have a house number that I  was aware of. That old dirt road didn't even have a name ! At some point, I don't remember when, Mom told me the town said our road was Hunting Lane. Well, no matter, now it is Hunting Road according to Google maps. And Google is the final word, ain't it ? I last set foot on that road in 1993 following Dads' funeral. I've seen that road when it was dry and dusty and when it was covered in two feet of snow. Learned to ride a two wheeler on that road and to drive a car. It was and still is an old dirt road. Just up a bit from number Ten on the left hand side my dog is buried. Laddie boy lies under a massive old pine tree, a place he enjoyed on those warm summer days when we would run and play. He went under there to take his rest and shall forever be there.
 I began thinking about all of this when I saw the final piece of history offered for sale. I've since been told it has been sold. And so now all the homes on that dirt road have changed owners. The old neighborhood is gone. Truth is, that neighborhood has been gone a good while. It has taken 63 years for me to learn my house number ! What more did I miss ? One of my readers mentioned that she heard the sound of John Boys voice when reading some of my stories. I'll take that as a compliment.  
 Now John Boy lived on Walton's mountain. We always said we lived  "on the hill. " It is true that that dirt road does rise from the main road as it heads into the woods. At the far end of the road there are two hills. The first was a small one and directly behind that the " big " hill. That is what us kids called it. It was a marker. If you said, the big hill, it was immediately understood where you were. Seldom did we brave a sled on the big hill but the smaller one was well used. I expect those hills are still there. It would take quite a bit of excavation to change that landscape. Just before those hills there was a clearing. In that clearing wild blueberries grew in abundance. Picked many a pint from there.
 I guess in some ways I do think like John Boy, observing things as time goes by. I have always been one to notice the subtle things in life. It can sometimes be a curse as it can leave you feeling sad. When I was just a little guy I had an Uncle that called me the professor. I'm still not sure if it was because I wore glasses or a compliment. Being the youngest there was much that wasn't discussed in front of me. My brothers were four and six years older than me, bigger, stronger and for the most part not concerned with me. My sister is two years older. When we were small we played together but soon outgrew that. I spent a lot of time entertaining myself. I like to read and did a good bit of that. Wasn't much else to do in those woods. Spent a lot time thinking about stuff. I think if computers had been a thing I might have become a " geek. " Well maybe I was ! There were geeks back in the fifties and sixties but they weren't proud of it. " They say time changes all it pertains to, But your memory is stronger than time, I guess everything does change except what you choose to recall. " are a few lyrics from Merle Haggard that ring true to me. Time does change all it pertains to and memory is stronger than time. and the things you recall do not change much. You gain an understanding of them over time is all. History doesn't change, you do. I'll always remember that old dirt road and the neighborhood. Memories can't be sold, only shared.