Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Friday, July 29, 2016

A synopsis

 I posted an old photograph the other day. It was my great grandmother in her wedding dress. Lucy was her name. Great Grandmother Lucy passed in 1956 when I was just three years old. I don't remember her but my older sister does. I received a few comments and a bunch of " likes " on that picture. Funny how old pictures are nostalgic even to those we don't know. It is nice when people are kind and give you those likes, strange how they are somehow reassuring. After a day or so I was moved to include a synopsis of her life. Her life was condensed, like a readers digest book, to a mere few lines. I suppose it will be that way with most of us. I, with my interest in genealogy and having done much research into her life know quite a bit more. Had she lived longer perhaps I would have learned a great deal more. I did know her husband, my great grandfather quite well, he was with us until 1968. I was thirteen. His death was the first that I remember. I recall going to his funeral service. Whenever I think of him I still picture that cold, gray, steel casket draped with flowers. The sadness was palatable in that room and I fled. That is his final chapter.
 The posting of that picture was precipitated by my rediscovering some old photographs of my fathers. I wrote a blog posting about that, calling it the ghosts of war. That is because there are pictures of the men my Dad flew with during WW2.  He knew the names and faces I'm sure of that but I can only see the faces. I'm working on that now, identifying those men, I'm hoping for at least limited success. In one of those strange coincidences in life, or possibly fate, the very squadron he flew with is having a reunion next month is Baltimore. I have been in contact and will be attending. I have learned that one gentleman, now in his nineties, that served alongside Dad will be there. Whether he remembers, or every knew my father I can't say but it will be an honor to shake his hand. Anything further he has to offer will be a bonus.
 I have mentioned several times the reason I began writing these blogs. The truth is I intended to chronicle my life. I have definitely strayed from that intent and for good reason. I have discovered that I don't have all that much to chronicle. Yes, a brief synopsis can sum up my life thus far. I know that doesn't sound very good but you can't deny truth when faced with it. The things we do, the choices we make aren't all that interesting to others. Fact is, at times I'm not too interested in reviewing them either. There are times it is best not to focus upon mistakes made. Once you have learned from that mistake it is best to just move forward. I think the biggest mistake we can make is confusing absolution and forgetting. Absolution is the forgiveness of our " sins " but that does not mean they should be forgotten ! Absolution is forgiveness, not the removal of accountability. Forgiveness is just another person transferring accountability to you. The most meaningful penance is self imposed. Penance is an ongoing process. True penance is the changing of an attitude or thought. For those of the Christian belief, penance is the path to righteousness. It is how we become closer to God. For " sin " is in opposition to that and penance is the realization of that sin.
 Well I have strayed from the original topic. That happens more times than not. It is just where my thoughts lead me. I began by thinking how our lives can be summed up in a few lines of type. For some there will be noteworthy events, but the majority will not. For our descendants we may become a curiosity. I have many ancestors that I am curious about, unanswered questions. Odds are I will never discover those answers. Will the answers be revealed in death ? That is another question that will remain unanswered in this lifetime. Even knowing all of this I am hopeful. I do think my writing will prove to be of interest and of benefit to someone some day. It is just waiting to be discovered. These blogs will be my chronicle. They are not a chronicle of my life but of my thoughts. Our thoughts are our life, our actions the manifestations of those thoughts. Both are subject to change.