Friday, February 26, 2016

Holding my ground

 There is an advertisement that comes on the television every now and again. I hear it, but don't remember watching it. They are hawking a " place for Mom " , a senior care referral site. Each time I hear it I can't help but think, shouldn't Mom be at home ? Although they don't seem to mention Dad I guess they would find a place for him as well. I realize that concept may be a thing of the past but I for one , never want to be " placed " anywhere. Placing something is just sitting it down somewhere out the way. It is also something you do with a " problem. " You place that problem in a rehab, half way house or institution of some type. The court may place you there.
 I hear all the arguments and reasoning for why Mom can't stay at home. I hear all the reasons Mom can't live with me. Yes, some are valid I wouldn't disagree, but most appear more as an excuse or an inconvenience. I do believe that this modern day practice of just putting the old folks in a home, and that is a gross misnomer, is destroying the continuity of life that is so vital in a society. Was the day we were born, lived and died in the same geographic area. We were attached to that area. We lived out our days at home. We watched the children grow and their children as well. In the end we went to join our ancestors in the cemetery, generations lying side by side. Now families are scattered across the country. Good thing for digital media and record keeping or we would never find our ancestors. The Bible does say, ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Our families are becoming as dust in the wind. An old rock group, Kansas , used that very metaphor. One line in that song says, I close my eyes only for a moment, then the moments gone. So too are our lives in the big scheme of things. We should keep those we love as close to ourselves as possible. Instead we have made a business out of " placing " then elsewhere. To me, it speaks volumes about our value system. That advertisement hits me every time. A Place for Mom  ! The message being the correct action is just to find a place to put her and your responsibility ends there. You can just pay someone else to do the caring.
 Yes I understand there are circumstances where this isn't possible. I just feel like all the possibilities should be exhausted first and this " place for Mom " is a last resort, not the first option that comes to mind. Mom should be home. I get annoyed when I hear that advertisement. The overall message they are trying to sell is, you are being the best child you can be by sending Mom off to the home. It is practically abuse if you do not ! Don't worry, financing is available. And to me that is the disconnect in society that is leading to the mess we are seeing today. High crime and a lack of morality. I can just move away where no one knows me and do whatever I please. When the folks get old, just place them in a home somewhere. that way you don't have to listen to them. When you go to visit them, at your convenience, they'll just be happy to see you. No flack from them. No hassles man. When age or infirmary catches up to me, as it certainly will, I hope I am not " Placed " somewhere out of the way. I will say this much, be warned, I'm not going without a fight ! I'll be holding my ground !

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