Sunday, February 28, 2016

A place to go

 I made a call yesterday to speak to an old friend. The day before had been his birthday but I let that day slip past and felt the worse for it. He is my oldest and closest friend. I can't remember the number of years it has been since we saw each other face to face. Time has a way of passing, almost unnoticed. He didn't answer that call but did return it later in the day. We picked up our conversation where we had left it off many years back. It truly is like that with an old friend. I see the Memes on Facebook about that very thing and smile. Yes, it's true and I am fortunate to have a friend like that. We spoke of old times and changes. For us, not much has changed as time starts and stops with each conversation. Our friendship lives in brief periods of time, scattered over the years. It is a heartwarming thing and a gift. We revisit the past together, almost as tourists. We parted ways long about 1977 or so. Since then there has been marriages and deaths. That is the way of the world. For those two actions are the defining moments in our lives. There are children and grandchildren.
 After talking with him I began to wonder. How much have I changed since those days ? How much has he ? When we talk it sounds just the same as it always did. But we are talking about the same things, as they were, and not speaking in the present tense. Our views are still the same, for the most part. That isn't surprising given that we practically grew up together. Our teenage years were spent in the company of one another. We listened to the same music, played baseball together and confided in one another. We shared secrets and desires. We even joined the Navy together ! After out initial hitch we had a job working together. Then I went back in the Navy and he went his way. Our youth had ended but that friendship lives on.
 We went through the silliness and irresponsibility of youth side by side. Those are the days we reminisce about. It is in that time that we live. The more recent years we share, almost as a storyteller relates his tales. We just tell the other person about it trying to convey the experience as best we can. The old stories we lived together and so are alive in our minds. Just a few words or a simple phrase can bring those things back to life. That is what I think about and wonder. If we were still in each others company today would the friendship be sustained ? That is the change I wonder about. We are not young anymore, although we may be silly and irresponsible. How have we changed ? I don't think it is reasonable to think that we haven't. Life surely changes us and our views. And then I think perhaps that is the way it was designed. Our friendship is a gift. One to keep and enjoy over the years, unchanged, undisturbed and appreciated. A place to go every now and again. A place to visit, not to live. Isn't that what our youth is ? A memory and a comfort. My old friend lives in my youth and I in his. It is enough.

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