what price

  Every now and again I feel this way, it's a normal part of the human condition, nothing to be concerned about, but I'm getting a little tired of talking to myself. That's what I'm doing with these blogs of mine. I have told myself I write these for that very reason, a sort of self-therapy. Is it a case of physician heal thyself? I'd have to be a physician first wouldn't I. Reminds me of a question I once asked. I had to be interviewed by a mental health specialist as part of the application process to become a Navy recruiter. We chatted for a bit and this professional asked a bunch of questions with me having no idea what those questions had to do with anything. 

 But we finished up and apparently, he decided I was sane. He then asked me if I had any questions for him. That was when I asked him, who decides upon your sanity? His response was one of indignation. He informed me he often spoke with his peers! I quipped I often do the same and some of those folks are just crazy. He wasn't amused. But I got the job.

 I read a quote somewhere that said, I have never learned a thing from those that just agreed with me, or something to that effect. I understand what is being said perfectly. I take some solace in knowing that I don't always agree with myself. Still, as with the majority of us, I find an excuse for the error. I also read where someone said, if you want to learn about yourself, write. I've been writing and learning for a while now. I've been telling myself that I'm leaving a record for anyone that cares to read. The real hope being that my grandchildren and beyond will take an interest in the volumes I have written. Perhaps some knowledge or insight is to be gained by others. At the same time, I realize that it is unlikely. Should I somehow become extremely wealthy or famous for some reason that would change rapidly. That's how that works in the real world. Hey, there are those listening to the Kardashians and Whoopi Goldberg for those reasons.

 I seldom get any response on these writings of mine. An occasional agreement or disagreement. For the most part, it's crickets. That's why I feel like I'm talking to myself. I'm thinking the reason is I'm just saying what most people are thinking or have already heard. The topics I discuss generally do not generate a response. I have noticed that you will get far more responses to a post, any post if you make people mad. The responses will start flying in fast and furious. If you say something nice, well not so much of a reaction beyond a like or smiley face. I have no idea who is or who is not reading them. Because I post the link on Facebook every morning, I can only assume it must be my Facebook friends. That list isn't very large as I do not accept every friend request offered. I have learned over the years the wisdom of doing that. 

 I have wondered where else I could post my writing as a sort of test market. I wonder if anyone would read what a complete, non-descript, old white guy that has neither money nor fame has to say. How do you become an influencer? Can I influence you? It's an amusing thought to me, but then, I'm easily amused. I suppose that is why I keep on writing these things in the first place, I'm amused. Sometimes I surprise myself. I have learned that you believe pretty much whatever it is you make up your mind to believe. You don't need proof or references for that. You only need that when attempting to change someone else's beliefs. Influence has little to do with honesty or integrity. Influence is simply about getting you to agree with me. The product doesn't matter, the principle is the same. I admit I was not a very good recruiter for the Navy, not a shining star in that avocation, I didn't exert a great deal of influence. I don't expect I'll start any revolutions, any movements with these blogs. 

 Manipulation or influence? Manipulation is designed to benefit the influencer. The goal is to get you to think the way they do. I hear a great deal about these social media influencers and the impact they make. They are hailed almost as stars. The truth is they are attempting to manipulate you. What influences you? That is what you need to discover and understand about yourself to avoid being manipulated. It is a never-ending process. I'll keep on writing and perhaps I will discover that. I'm thinking a few million dollars might influence me. With that I could manipulate others. What's the price?