secret knowledge

 I have a collection of old photographs and artifacts handed down through the family. You could say those items are a legacy. It wasn't a deliberate action on the part of those ancestors. They are simply what has survived over the years. Their value lies in the memories, not the object itself. Not all of those objects are understood however, some memories are lost to time. I only know what I have been told or surmise. I have studied those old photographs for clues regarding the identity of some. There are also clues about the time the photograph was taken if you look closely enough. Often the occasion is unknown. What is known is that in the past getting your picture taken was a much bigger deal than it is today. For that reason, it usually accompanied some occasion or event. When I was young taking pictures was a common practice but getting them developed was a bit costly. There are lots of photographs alright, but I have surprisingly few today. I think that is because they became disposable. Unlike those old photographs from previous generations, they did become commonplace, an everyday thing. The result is they lost some of their value. 

 I have a wooden chest where I store my "archives" of pictures, pamphlets, papers and small objects. All of those things are important to me in some fashion. That's why I save them. My thought this morning is to begin to catalogue those things once again. I began that a few years back and set it aside. My thinking then was to provide a description and a story for the items, an explanation of sorts. I was thinking I could attach memories to them for future generations to understand and enjoy. I have come to understand the real motivation to do so involves more my desire to be remembered than the objects themselves. Honest objectivity can be a hard pill to swallow. It does change the narrative. It's a difficult thing to accept, even our heroes have flaws, make mistakes and are sometimes self-serving. It's even harder when you are that hero! 

 We all like to know stuff others don't. That's just a part of human nature. Secret knowledge is power. At least that how our psyche perceives that anyway. It's true even with the smallest thing. I know and you don't. Often it is the basis for conversation. Did you know? And so, I have the opportunity to construct an entire box of memories, of secret knowledge, to pass to the future. In the future I would be acknowledged as the authority. That is an appealing prospect. This is this and that is that because Ben said so, wrote it down, it must be the truth. That's what the future would think. You are not going to call your ancestor a liar without proof positive to the contrary. 

 Knowing this I am feeling a sense of responsibility. As I said earlier some of the things I have I can only surmise the story. It certainly wouldn't be honest to assign a story to those objects that isn't true. It does make a difference. The truth matters even when there is no one to dispute it. Lots of untruths and fabrications from the past have come back to haunt mankind. Today especially, the past is being rewritten. The reason for that is easy enough to understand. It benefits the present. Man has been telling the same old lies for generations for the same reasons. I have no expectation that will ever change.

 Nothing I will write, or record will impact history in any significant fashion. That's a part of being objectively honest, accepting that as the reality. If I held a different station in life that would not be the case. The truth is I will pass from this world hopefully remembered for a generation or two and then slip into obscurity and oblivion. How many years my name stays on the stone is unknown. I can leave a legacy, however. It won't be in the way of wealth or property. My name is not famous, nor do I expect it ever will be. My legacy will be; secret knowledge. For the items and artifacts in that box I will be the ultimate authority, I'll have the final say. That appeals to my vanity I'm aware of that. I admit to it. I can write history! Yes, that's the real appeal there. I can write history as I know it to be, and that will be accepted as fact in the future. The only one that may contradict that would be an ancestor. And we all know, you should not speak ill of the dead. Well, it was that way in the past anyway, seems like that is something being overlooked today.