Waiting on time

 Time is the most precious of commodities. We are given just so much of it, that I believe wholeheartedly. Yes, our days are numbered. There is no other way to explain things like survival or loss when either is extreme. It is up to us how we exchange that commodity. It the purpose of life. It is what we all try to determine, that purpose, what is it we wish to purchase or receive in exchange. We begin with a full purse and spend generously in youth. We are anxious to get on with it, whatever it is. If we are fortunate enough to have an abundance of time we will begin to slow down, savoring our time. 

 I'm aware of that when writing these blogs or memoirs, whatever you wish to call them. I understand a blog is supposed to center on a particular topic or subject and I certainly don't do that. If there is a central theme in all of this, it would have to be philosophy. I know I'm as surprised as anyone else. I've never thought of myself as a philosopher. But then again, we are all philosophers, aren't we? I believe we are the only difference being the amount of philosophical thought one is willing to share. There are modern philosophers, although I can't name a single one of them, but it is the ancient ones that get all the attention. I think that speaks to the nature of man and time. The old ways were the best ways, the old thinking somehow better. At the same time, we find all of that constraining. That's why we change our philosophy and attempt to justify that change. 

 I find myself concerned with the expenditure of time. It's not the time I have left, I don't know how much that will be, but rather what I've done with the time I've already had. My philosophy centers around that. Have I used it as intended? That is a basic question to begin with. Are we allotted a set period of time to accomplish a goal? That is, are we assigned a mission at birth. Can one person be that important, that vital, to the functioning of the universe? A rather self-important view when you think about it. Still, we are all allotted a set period of time. Are we free to use that time at our own discretion? Is that free will? It certainly appears that is the case. Hard to explain man's inhumanity to man otherwise. That inhumanity usually centers around personal gain, not gain for the greater good. 

 We speak of heaven and hell and where we go after death. I do believe that our spirit, our energy lives on forever. Energy can only be transformed never created. You can't make something from nothing! Could be our energy will simply be directed to another and they get to choose how to expend that time, the "charge" if you want to look at it in that way. Perhaps the entrance to heaven isn't about good and bad, isn't about obedience at all. Perhaps it rests solely on how your energy was expended. What did you do with your time, your allocation? There is a negative and positive charge, a good and bad, a heaven and hell. It's a balance. It is necessary. 

 Maybe you can go to heaven in one time and go to hell in another? A cycle? You know it's interesting to note that electrical engineers say an electrical charge travels from the positive side to the negative side while electronic engineers say just the opposite. Do we start in heaven or hell? Which way are we going? Well time will tell. And as I always ask, will I know it? That's my biggest question, will I know that I died? Thing is I won't know until it happens. Will time stop? Seems like it would have to, otherwise you would still be waiting. But if you died, what would you be waiting for?