for your own good

  This is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you. It's for your own good. That's what I heard just before I received what was good for me. Although I did harbor doubts about the validity of that statement at that time I have since learned the truth in them. Yes, it was good for me. I think perhaps the first time I realized that was listening to a radio show. I was working as an upholsterer at the time. We had a radio on in the shop. There was a call-in talk show on with a childcare specialist. This would have been about 1976 or so. Dr. Spock had already been around a while having written his first book in 1946. My parents were not proponents of his methods. Now this host was talking about spanking your children and how traumatic a thing that could be. She was saying you should just reason with the child. After listening for a bit, I couldn't help but call in to offer my perspective. It was then I told her about getting "spanked" and how glad I was! I told her I deserved it every time and that it did indeed put me back on the straight and narrow! Everyone in the shop got quite the laugh out of that and the radio host wasn't amused. But, it was 1976 and she didn't call me names or block me. 

 For your own good. Seems to me a lot of people need others doing something to them, for their own good. The whole Smith/Rock thing is a good example. Slap him across the face, it's for his own good in my opinion, teach him some respect. I've heard where a few other comedians are now saying they are a bit afraid. See, it's working. If you have to be afraid that what you are going to say may offend someone, you probably shouldn't be saying it in the first place. It was a lesson I learned the first time I figured I would "talk" back to my parents. Not a wise decision. There was no reasoning with them. Conversely they didn't attempt to reason with me, just gave me directions. I was expected to follow those directions. If I didn't further instruction would be forthcoming. Fortunately I was a quick learner.

 Now in all fairness I wasn't told that everything was for my own good. That statement was usually reserved for the important lessons. Those lessons concerned morality and ethics, although I didn't know that at the time. I was just told to act right! Straighten up and fly right was the usual admonishment. Never did figure out exactly what flying had to do with that other than if you didn't fly right you would crash. That crash was my fathers hand or belt across my backside. Yeah, it was for my own good and it hurt him to have to do it, but I had left him no choice. Yup, my bad. So despite the pain, the discomfort, he did his job, his duty and obligation as a parent and I'm grateful to him, to this very day, for that correction.

 You see, it was all about boundaries. Knowing your place in the family and indeed in society in general. It is really as Shakespeare said, all the men and women are merely players. We get to play the part, we don't write the script! You can be written out of that script at any time, it's wise to never forget that. Morality and ethics are all about boundaries. Whereas you may not like or agree with those boundaries, it is in your best interest to remain within them. It's for your own good. It's not about winning a battle, it's about winning the war. There's a saying that nice guys finish last. Who is saying that however? The guys that aren't so nice is the answer. That statement is an admission of guilt! If you finished ahead of the good guys it stands to reason you are not one of them. That can't be a good thing when it comes to the final reckoning. Also the reason I feel many today attempt to deny that there will be a final reckoning at all.

 Will that final reckoning be, this is going to hurt me more than you, but it is for your own good? Things are starting to heat up. Years ago it was the seat of my pants! I'm thinking it is best to straighten up and fly right. Don't push the boundaries too far! It's best to work within the boundaries, gradually expanding that area through respect and trust. The best defense in being right, is in being right! When I was right I could reason with my parents, they weren't unreasonable people. Thing was, learning the reasoning behind their judgements. Yeah sometimes I couldn't do that and I would hear, because I said so. It took years to understand who "I" was. I , is your conscience. That little voice inside you telling you right from wrong. Maybe it isn't wrong, but it sure isn't right. That's the essence of morality and ethics. Making choices for your own good. It's a difficult thing to do.