being civil

 Clothes make the man is a very old saying dating as far back as the 1400's. Most of us know it from the book about the poor tailor. The phrase has been repeated and used in various forms and works. There are several meanings associated with it. On the surface it simply points out that people will judge you based on your appearance, the clothes that you wear. In a deeper interpretation it speaks to the ability of "dressing" for the part to influence the person wearing those clothes. Dress like a gentleman and you will act like a gentleman. The last book I heard about supporting that was called, Dress for Success. It's advice still given today, and it still applies. 

 I think that perhaps that is what fad and fashion is all about as well. It is a means of expressing your willingness to go along with the crowd. It is a visual clue to others that you are "up to date" and aware of current social conventions. In recent years we have taken to wearing "ribbons" to show our support for causes as they relate to society in general. We call them awareness ribbons and there are over 65 different colors of them. I do see a decrease in their popularity however, as the "fad" fades. And yes, I do think a significant number of people wear them for that reason alone, it's the popular thing. They think they are making a statement. At least that is what they have told. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that, but in my opinion, it is more about making a social "challenge" than supporting a cause or action. Passive/aggressive. That is the order of the day.

 I was thinking about this as the way we dress has changed over the years. What started out as casual Friday has become casual every day. I'm thinking about the way we dress for events, occasions and indeed, everyday activities. Being a baby boomer I do remember the day when you dressed for Church, you dressed for school, and you dressed simply to go to the grocery store. The message was clear, dress for life! Life and the living of it should be a formal affair, one not taken casually. And it is my feeling the lack of that has contributed to the lack of a "social" society. We have all become just a bit too relaxed, a bit too informal in our interactions with others. That has lead us to what we see today. People have become rude, pushy, argumentative and self centered. It's a constant social challenge! We even made laws supporting that. You can now be charged with a hate crime based on what you say! You can be charged based on another's  perception of your motivation for speaking. I hear the prevalence of vocabulary being reduced to four letter words. I hear it in public, on television and radio, and I hear it from young children. It goes unchallenged, unnoticed and accepted as the normal thing. Politicians, lawyers, Doctors, all manner of public figures incorporate that language in an effort to impose some sort of power to their words. Adjectives or interjections? The intent is to apply emphasis to whatever statement is being made. 

 Just as clothes make the man, language can do the same. I did grow up in a time when you were advised to "keep a civil tongue in your head." That was often reenforced with the threat of soap or physical violence. Today even our most prominent dignitaries and celebrities certainly aren't heeding that advice. But beyond the clothes, beyond the choice of vocabulary, even beyond the wearing of ribbons, are tattoos. What were once considered the domain of bikers and sailors now elevated to "art." And that art may be on the face, neck and hands where it is unlikely to be covered. Casual? You bet it is. A casual approach to what was once considered rather, gosh. I think the message remains the same though, it is a form of social aggression. An aggression that cannot be challenged, certainly the safest form of aggression there is. I can now casually display that aggression without fear of reprisal or comment. 

 All of this is in opposition to a standard. That is simply what it is. It would seem innocent enough, it is only clothes, fad and fashion. It's only words or ink on your skin. But I believe all of that is linked to morality as well. The lowering of social standards does correlate with the lowering of moral standards. We are losing our civility. Civility has to be maintained for a civilization to survive. "All of civility depends on being able to contain the rage of individuals." (Josua Lederberg) It seems to me that today the objective is to keep individuals eternally enraged!  I say this: " Emotions are great motivators, seldom good guides." (A.B. Reichart) 

This is an interesting read. Thought to include it: The Rules of Civility · George Washington's Mount Vernon