searching

  Doors open and doors close. As we age, as time goes by, we revisit the rooms of the past. Sometimes in those rooms we reunite with old friends and acquaintances, at others we met new. That thought came to me this morning after having visited some relatives. We hadn't seen those folks in a while, life having taken us in different directions. But yesterday the door opened and in we went. 

  Now I wouldn't say I was a particularly religious person, a student of the scriptures or a theologian. Still, I do recall a passage that says, my fathers house contains many rooms. That's what followed the thought about doors opening and closing. My fathers house was representative of heaven, at least that is my interpretation of that biblical passage. We do think of heaven as being somewhere else, up there somewhere, but perhaps heaven is really right here on earth. That would explain all the rooms things. It could be the reason for all the good and bad. Some rooms are good places, others not so much. We can't choose what rooms to enter but we can choose in what rooms to stay. Heaven and hell is all about choices isn't it? That is what I was taught. It is also what I have experienced so far in life. Good choices lead to good results, poor choices lead to poor results. I've also noticed that the majority of the time I made the choice, it wasn't forced upon me. Yeah, I'm responsible for that, generally speaking. 

  Something else I have noticed is the older you get, the more you like to visit the past. Perhaps it is nothing more than seeking comfort in the familiar. I've been there before and enjoyed it, like a favorite restaurant or fishing hole. I think maybe it is like going to a museum or art gallery, you've seen it all before but keep going back. It doesn't happen every time but sometimes you see something new, something you hadn't noticed before. The emotional response to that covers the full spectrum. You are faced with a new reality. You thought you knew, you expected this, but you got that. It's an interesting thing really, the older you get, the more interested you are in the past. You start living your life in review. But in doing so you are armed with the knowledge of what was behind the doors. The question being asked is, does it remain? It is a matter of self validation. Choices made. But then again maybe all of this, what we call life, is just circumstantial. Maybe all we can do is keep searching the rooms.