celebrating failure

 After writing yesterdays blog I continued thinking about what I was trying to say, or rather explain. I talked a bit about my parents, and probably for most of you reading this, your parents generation. Often called the greatest generation I would agree with that description as I'm sure the majority of you would as well. They are, after all, our parents. But parents are people too as I pointed out to someone kind enough to leave a comment. Thank you Barbara, and all the others. I was thinking about that, there being people like you and I, and what they had experienced in their lives. They were a product of their times, as we all are, to a certain degree. Social attitudes are in a continuous state of flux dependent upon politics and perceived economic situations. What the " accepted " norms are and what are being proposed as normal, are what are in flux.
 I touched upon that briefly in that post yesterday. Our secrets are often the very things that are in flux. That is to say what was expected behavior yesterday, is now viewed in a totally differed light. A new normal having been established. It can be a difficulty for those of us used to the old normal. This is especially so when that normal strikes at the core of our ethical system. I've seen this happen in my 67 years, most of the time unnoticed. That isn't to say I was totally unaware, just that I was willing to overlook or accept that. We tend to think of those actions as being " hip " to use an outdated colloquialism. It also includes things like the style of clothing we wear, the things we eat and drink. Lots of those type of things. No big deal, for the most part that is.
 One that particularly troubles me is the acceptance of failure these days. I was raised with the goal being not to make mistakes. Yes I knew that people made mistakes, I knew that no one is perfect, but I was also taught you didn't talk about those failures. If you did you admitted how wrong you were. You didn't correct the mistake, whatever it happened to be, and then brag about that as an accomplishment. No, the objective was not to overcome your shortcomings but to not have shortcomings. Do you know what I mean? To me it is propagating a self fulfilling prophecy. I know I'm gonna fail, but when I do I can correct that and claim that as an accomplishment! Therefore there is no reason not to do whatever I please as long as I don't hurt others in the process. I can get myself addicted to drugs, go to rehab, then preach to others that they shouldn't do that. The fact that I became addicted to the drugs isn't the point anymore, only that I quit, as least for now, because if I relapse that isn't a failure, not my fault, and I get a do-over. Then having done that, I can talk about that.
  What I'm trying to say is there is a fundamental difference in the way these things are viewed nowadays. I was taught to feel remorse for the error, correct the error, and try not to draw attention to the fact that I messed up. I'm seeing an opposite view today and I find it unsettling. I see it more as an acceptance of unchecked emotions than anything else. You have to accept me as I am, without question or consequence. A failure to do so indicates a lack of empathy. That's what I'm hearing. It's an extreme.
 I was taught to control my emotions, as best as I could. Yes I had to admit to my mistakes, apologize to anyone that was effected by that mistake, and do my best to correct it. I was not rewarded for correcting a mistake! The best I could hope for was forgiveness; not accolades. Accolades were reserved for doing the right thing, not recovering from the wrong.
 What has this to do with secrets? Well, I think our biggest secrets are whatever we consider our biggest mistakes. That's the way I see it. By sharing those secrets, even with the ones closest to us, we are putting arrows in their quivers. Those mistakes can then come back at us. Telling your child not to smoke by explaining how you triumphantly conquered your addiction doesn't work very well. If you did it why shouldn't I? Isn't that what younger people will ask? Isn't that what older people will ask as well? And it may be followed with the ever popular, it is no worse than argument. You shouldn't smoke marijuana! Why not, it's no worse than drinking. Yes, those arrows are hard to defend against aren't they? I don't know, I was just taught that it was better to not make the mistake in the first place. That's all I'm saying.
William Shakespeare - To be, or not to be (from Hamlet 3/1) To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them?  
Well Willy I'd say this. It is best to not give your " sea of troubles " the arrows to use against you in the first place. 

secret explanations

 It's been some time since I worked on the family tree. I have to take a break every now and again when I get wandering down some branches that lead nowhere. Some folks call them walls to break through, but I call it the end of the branch. I do try to keep the information in that tree as accurate as possible. It's very easy to jump to conclusions, make connections were there are none, and the temptation is strong at times. When that temptation begins to pull at me, I step away. That's what happened a while back and the search has lain dormant. It's been long enough that I have forgotten where I was looking. But I do remember that it was far from the trunk! Fifth cousins. six times removed and all that, are losing my interest. On my paternal side I would need records from Germany and Swedish records from my grandmother. I've secured a few, enough to answer some questions but there is still much unknown.
 I began thinking about that yesterday when it occurred to me I could look much closer to home. I could look at my own life! Yes, I'm a parent, a branch off the central tree. I thought; I have included the basics in my tree, the who begat who thing. Then I thought there is much more to tell than that. It is the details that interest me when looking for my ancestors and I realized that applies to my descendants as well. Well now, that can become uncomfortable. It can be uncomfortable for those in the past. It can be awkward in the present time. That's because we all have secrets. Those secrets run the full gambit, anything from deep and dark, to trivial. It all depends upon what we wish to share, what we wish to be known, and what we record in some fashion. Old records are the primary source  of information about our ancestors. Generations to come will have the proverbial goldmine of information should they choose to search. How much information is out there, not in official records like the census and other public records, but on the various social media platforms. I can't begin to imagine how much could be mined should a knowledgeable person attempt to do so.
 I admit to not having written down or shared everything about my life so far. There are incidents and accidents I would just as soon not be known. Some are just embarrassing little things, choices made that were perhaps not the best. Things that seemed like a good thing at the time. And of course there are those actions that you may have taken that you now insist your children do not! There will come a day I will share a great deal of that, as you can tell I'm prone to talking about everything. I do however believe in a time and place. I also believe I get to choose that time and place! It's frustration for those wanting to know, for those having questions. I understand that completely. I have many questions I would like answers to. I guess not so much answers, as explanations. Just a simple explanation unaccompanied by a need to justify. But the thing is, I am not aware of those things simply because they don't bother me. It's the things that nag at me that I'm talking about. The things that I wish hadn't happened, and the things I hesitate to share, are those secrets. Mistakes and missteps happen to us all. Generally speaking that is what interests others about us most of all. We do like to know those things about others it's human nature I suppose. A form of defense.
 I have questions. I have questions about my ancestors that may never be answered and I can accept that. That is the reason I will step back every now and again when I get feeling like I have reached an end. I take a break, start again in a new line and maybe make some new discovery. The biggest discoveries for me are the little nuances in life. An example is, I have a postcard my grandmother wrote to her father, she called him Poppa. Interesting to me because that Grandmother of mine passed away when my father was just a few days old. He knew little of her and I knew even less. But knowing that she called her father, Poppa, made it personal, more intimate if you understand what I mean. My own father has been gone for thirty years now. It doesn't seem possible. That is almost half my life! Mom is still with me, at ninety, she is doing well. There is much she could share  should she choose to do so, but she is from that generation, the generation that holds things inside for the most part. Hers is the greatest generation, stalwart, unflinching, and stoic in the face of danger! At least that is how I see them. Not that they are perfect, but they sure aren't emotional jelly.
 I am aware that Mom, my parents, had and Mom still has a secret life. We all do. It is just that I have come to realize and appreciate that more as I grow older. What we want are people to remember us. We want to be remembered for all the good things, not the missteps and mistakes that we may have made. For that reason we don't want to share those things. I'm seeing a bit of a shift in that thinking these days. It seems like people are far more willing to claim missteps, mistakes and downright bad behavior as a tool. A tool to an entitlement of some kind, an eliciting of sympathy or charity. It's a different attitude altogether. It's being touted as " acceptance " or " inclusion " these mistakes and missteps when we admit to them. Indeed some are encouraged to continue in those behaviors! We are urged, not to judge. Without judgement, no justification is required, no explanation need be offered. And we don't want to explain ourselves do we? No, we certainly don't.
 There are days, times, that I feel like I owe an explanation. I owe an explanation to my descendants. It's a strange thing to feel obligated to those that came after you. I'm beginning to understand why our parents didn't share everything. Would sharing information be of any benefit to them? Our descendants I mean. Will telling them about our weaknesses, our faults, and shortcomings serve any purpose? Do they really need me as an example? No, I guess they don't, but then again they do. It is only through truth and transparency that we learn to get along with one another, generation to generation. It's has to become personal. It is important to share all the information for the next generation to make informed choices. It is important to let your children know that you are not perfect, that you did make mistakes. But then again do not children need heroes? They need someone to look up to, to admire, to emulate. Should that be left to celebrities? I don't think so! And so it is left to us, the parents. For that reason we need to protect some of the past from the minds of the future. It's an obligation.
 Well my hope here is to give you the reader something to think about. I'm still thinking about all of it. When I first began writing a book, my book, it was with the intent to explain, unapologetically for the choices I made in my life. I feel a need to do so. Why this need? I don't know. Maybe if I finish writing that book, which is on hold at the this time, I will discover the answer to that question. It has been said if you want to know what you believe, write. I'll keep writing as the need moves me and it could be I'll discover the explanations, if not the answers.             

not long ago

 Being a retiree I go to a lot of Drs. appts. As the commercial says, that's what you do. I also go to have blood drawn often, I think they are just checking the level, like an old car I might be leaking some. Then, al least once a year, I'm put on the rack for x-rays, cat scans or mri's. A couple years back I had to have an overhaul done, now I'm doing just fine. I remember when I used to have to schedule time off from work to go get these things done, now they are the schedule. I have to schedule vacation around them! I haven't reached the point where the appointments are the central focus in life but I'm definitely aware of them.
 Yesterday I had to go get my blood checked. So I went to the phlebotomist. You know you have going there frequently when you know that is, what that procedure is called, a phlebotomy. That is especially true when you have never been to any type of medical training school. I've noticed that I can name several specialties these days without giving it a thought. I even catch myself saying things like , my cardiologist, my nephrologist or oncologist. I see them following my visit to my primary care physician. It's his job to send me to all the others. He is just a Doctor and all the others have a title that ends in " gist. " I guess that is to indicate that they get the gist of whatever body part you are talking about.
 So I'm at the phlebotomist getting a phlebotomy and chatting it up a bit. She is a pleasant young lady and asking the necessary questions. Yes, I fasted this morning. As she was searching for a vein I start to tell her a story about a Navy corpsman attempting to do that procedure. They get an hour of training in that, or maybe it's a half hour, but that doesn't slow them down any. So I'm telling that story and she is laughing a bit. Then she asks how long I was in the Navy. I tell her 20 years and that I retired. She asks when that happened. I told her I retired over twenty years ago! She looks at me surprised and says, you retired that long ago? At first I'm feeling pretty good about that, thinking she thinks I'm younger looking. Then she asks what year was that? I tell her 1993. Her response? Wow, I wasn't even born yet! Now I'm not feeling so great. So I change the subject and say, you know the Challenger disaster happened on this day in 1986. That is met with a puzzled look, she has no idea what I'm talking about. Then it dawns on me, that happened before she was born!
 At this point she is done filling up the test tubes and ready to send those out for analysis. Putting enough gauze over that puncture wound to stop a flood she tapes it in place. Reaching for a cup and a pack of disinfecting wipes she says I'm going to need a sample. Hey, no problem I've been drinking black coffee, that's allowed even when you are fasting, so I'm good to go; no pun intended. Having giving me the obligatory instructions she thanks me for my service. As she says good bye she asks if I know how to get out of the building. Yeah, I remember. I also remember I don't have another appt untill April, my cardiologist. I may have forgotten why I walked into the kitchen but I don't forget Dr. appts. Well the truth is my wife kinda keeps track of all that, and birthdays. I remember other stuff, important stuff like when it's time to change the oil in the car or when the football game comes on. Oh and 1993, I remember it well, wasn't all that long ago.     

it's all about proof

 Yesterday was holocaust remembrance day. There is nothing I can say about that, that hasn't already been said. Mans' inhumanity to man must never be forgotten. I saw several memes saying a poll showed half of adult Americans didn't know 6 million Jews were killed during the holocaust. I find that difficult to believe. I certainly pray that it isn't true. I also hope all the others are remembered as well, it wasn't only Jews that were subject to Nazi's. I'm sure you are all aware of that and I'm not going to attempt to write a history lesson on that. 

 As I watched a small portion of the Senate impeachment trial I was thinking about all of that. We have all heard the Democrats comparing Trump to Hitler. I'm not even going to give that any credence at all, it's just a propaganda campaign for the uninformed. But we are living in a time of terrorism. It's a reality we all have to learn to live with and deal with. It's a troubled time for sure. And then during a commercial break I hear this slogan, " if you see something, say something. " I know what it means but my thoughts go to Nazi Germany when the citizens were encouraged to " tell on the neighbors. " Indeed we read were the children were especially encouraged to tell the authorities about their own parents! They were told it was the parotitic thing to do. I understand the message today isn't the same thing, the intent isn't the same at all, but it concerns me. My concern is that it could be abused, abused by the government. And no, I'm not talking about Trump. I'm talking about the beginning of socialism. Remember the Nazi's were a Socialist group. The National German Socialist Party, to be exact. And they began by disarming the public, taking control of the health care system, forming unions, and yes, if you see something, say something. They also began telling the children that certain groups of people were inferior to them! They were the only ones that were entitled to everything, the rest doesn't matter. It was an ideology! 

 Now I'm not trying to say the Democrats are like Nazi's. I am saying the ideology of the party falls in line with socialism. At least one candidate for the Democratic party identifies himself as such! Think about what it is he is saying. I'm a socialist and I want to run your country. A good number of his collogues agree with his policy proposals although they don't admit to being socialists. Don't be fooled, they are socialists. A rose by any other name is still a rose. And consider the impeachment trial itself. What is it based on?  Presumption, assumption and innuendo. Is it truly fact based? Not by any level of evidencery standard I'm aware of. I admit I'm no lawyer but this is an impeachment looking for a crime. Problem being, there is none. No matter to the Democrats though, we think this is what he meant, and he said, she said, that he might have heard. A whistleblower in hiding and now, almost miraculously, John Bolton writes a manuscript! It has appeared as fast as a made for TV movie! That's because it was made for TV. The tactics are familiar. Yes, the Nazi's and others have used the same tactics in the past. A party in search of a crime. 

 It's all very concerning. Just how did Hitler and his cronies get the people to go along with them? Promises, that's how. Having lost the first world war and been humiliated they appealed to the vanity of the nation. Then promised them everything! They started by disarming the public to gain absolute control. Oh, it was for their own good, the people would be so much safer from criminals. Yeah, right, Then the government began taking control of industry, how. Unions is how they did that. Higher wages, less hours, it'll be great. A national medical system, don't worry , health care for all. They didn't tell the public the part about killing the infirm or using them for experimental purposes. And their finance plan? Take the money from the Jews. Sure today they say they are going to get the money from who? The wealthy, they will just redistribute that wealth. Yeah, redistribute it right into the hands of the politicians. But don't worry, the government will take care of you. 

 Don't forget that Hitler first started his rise to power in 1919. In just fifteen years he became chancellor, In 1933 he became a dictator. It took him just fifteen years to go from promises to dictator! Oh and in the beginning the people loved him. He was the greatest! Just look at the prosperity our future is so bright! Until it wasn't. By then it was just too late to do a thing about that. The people had no say, do as you are told or die. When people began to resist what was the instruction? If you hear something, tell the government. The government will decide if it is true or not. No evidence necessary, hearsay, is good enough. Make no mistake about any of this. It is all about power. It is for times like this that the Constitution was written. It provides those checks and balances to prevent things like this from happening. The Democrats claim that no crime need be committed to be found guilty of a crime is just ridiculous. Proof, beyond a reasonable doubt is what is required. Where is the proof? Just ask yourself that question? Where is the proof?   

    

photographic memories

 I think we all have stuff around the house that belonged to our parents or grandparents. Maybe it belonged to someone else, but whomever it belonged to it is special to us. Heck, with me it even counts when I didn't personally know the person. I was thinking about the other day when I used Grandma Mo's cookie jar. Now Grandma Mo, that's what I'm told she was called, real name Elizabeth, was grandmother to my wife. Her son, the man I knew as Uncle George, was the man I got to know, if only for a short time. I've written about him in the past. It is from his home that the cookie jar and a few other items came after his passing. Thing is, I never met Grandma Mo, I've only heard stories about her. Wonderful stories told with heartfelt sentiments. Makes me wish I had met her.
 The thing with me is I like to use those items, not just have them sitting around. I'll use that cookie jar, we have Grandma Mo's rolling pin and I use that also. I have a few hand tools from my Dad. I have some crocheted articles from an aunt. That's the kind of stuff that I'm talking about. Great Grandfathers mantle clock sits on my desk, tick-tocking away. When it chimes on the hour or half hour I am reminded of him. I remember that clock sitting on a shelf in his home, I don't remember it running there though, isn't that strange. There are other small things around like that obtained from various people. I am reminded of those folks whenever I use the item. Of course I have a great number of pictures around. My pictures are a cause of concern to me. I wonder what will happen to them when I'm gone. Many of them only I would know what they are and where they were taken. And it's true already, there are some I don't remember the situation or story behind them. You know what I mean? Pictures snapped on vacation because it was interesting at the moment, but the moment has been forgotten. It's a funny thing about photographs, they don't give you a photographic memory. No, you still have to remember the moment, or at least write it down. But holding something in your hand is a different experience, at least for me it is. I guess that is why I like to use those items. I'm not worried about breaking them I'm worried about forgetting them. Does that make sense to you?
 What I'm talking about are tactile memories. You see Uncle George, at the end of his life was blind. Legally blind anyway as he could tell light and dark if they were extreme enough. He could usually be found sitting at his kitchen table. That table was covered with the items he used in his everyday life. Looked a mess to me but it was very organized to him. That was simply because his became a tactile world. It must have been very difficult for him as he was a man that enjoyed taking photographs and later in life making video tapes. He kept his things close at hand, by necessity. I'm fortunate in that my vision is alright, I don't have any issues in that regard. I can't imagine what that would be like.
 I'm thinking it is an inherited trait, this tactile sense. I've always enjoyed working with my hands, repairing, building, creating or whatever. I even enjoy the feel of typing this blog. I type by sight, not by memory of where the keys are. If I were blind I couldn't type a single word. Typing to me is almost like playing a video game, it's a challenge, can I get it done? To go from sight to creation. It makes little difference what it is you are creating. Well it does make a difference depending upon what it is you are creating. But anyway, I can absorb previous users senses when using objects. Is that strange? It sounds weird. It also something I hadn't given much thought to until recently. Maybe we are the aliens? Maybe my alien side is coming out. I don't have a photographic memory but maybe I can develop tactile memory. Wouldn't it be something if you could just hold a photograph and relive the moment. Now that is weird.  

parables and proverbs

It's a rather strange progression we go through. When we are small we figure our parents know just about everything. We go to them with our questions. Then we begin to interact with other children. Slowly we start to think, our parents aren't all that smart. In fact, grown ups aren't all that smart. By the time we become teenagers we pretty much figure they don't know anything! Oh sure they insist we should do this or that, for our own good, but we know it's really just what they wished they had done. And now they want us to do that.
 Parents. They just want you to make them look good. They want to brag about you and how well behaved you are. They want you to have good grades, and be a good citizen. They don't care a thing about popularity, or the perception the other kids have of you. They don't care about that, they aren't you. If you want to do anything different, anything cool, they'll tell you it's wrong. Seems like parents come in two flavors. those that will and those that won't. What I mean is there are those that will allow you to wear the latest styles, they buy your clothes and haircuts, buy the latest records for you and all of that. They will. And then you have the parents that don't. You're not going out the house looking like that and no, you aren't going to that party, nothing but trouble brewing there.
 Then we become parents. We start thinking that maybe our parents really weren't that dumb, We take a few lessons from them. Sure we will make some adjustments, allow a bit more or maybe restrict a bit more depending upon our own childhood experience. Our parents are still just behind the times though, it's a different world today and kids are different. We encourage them to just grow up! What do we mean by that? We want them to do the right thing, as we see it. Wait a minute, isn't that what our parents were doing? Nah, our parents meant well but they really didn't understand. We understand though.
 Finally we are grandparents. We may have lost our parents by this time. But the thing is we begin once again to admire their knowledge and wisdom. We feel like we know all about raising children at this point and especially the grandchildren. We have accumulated a lifetime of knowledge and experience. Our kids, no matter how hard we tried, just didn't get it. They are expecting too much from those kids. We know you need to give them room to express themselves, we know you need to allow them to just be kids! We don't understand why their parents are insisting they do this or that. If they won't to be in the honor society, band, or other groups why are they forcing them? Let them be kids! Well Grandparents know how to deal with all that. Just keep telling them they are special, It'll all work out.
 It is at this point that we once again realize that old people are really pretty smart. It may take us a while to understand that we are the old people! And there it is. We understand that being old means you have years of experience and you are at the top of your game. Yes, you may have to take a few supplements, take medication on a regular basis and increase your fiber intake, but still, you know what is best. We draw upon the lessons we learned when we were children. Lessons taught us by old people. Yup, old people are pretty smart and the younger folks should be listening to us. Parables and Proverbs are what we heard as children. Seems as though it takes most of a lifetime to really understand them. In the Bible, in the book of Job, it says, " Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding? "

what standard?

 I had a minor dust up on Facebook the other day, nothing serious. I had informed someone that I deleted their post due to a certain word being prominently displayed. Seems as though some thought I shouldn't have said anything, just hid the post. I admit to not thinking about that as I tend to let people know what I'm thinking. I just feel like I shouldn't do something like that, behind your back so to speak. Some seemed to take it as an admonishment of their choice of language. Yes, I can see that, although that isn't what was intended. We all worked out our differences and no hard feelings. From now on I will just hide any post containing that word. I won't tell the individual I'm doing it. 

 That little dust up came to mind yesterday as I drove back from the local Walmart. There are several homes along the way that fly flags in support of Trump. I don't mind the flags, for either party, although the Democrats don't have a candidate yet, perhaps their will be Bernie flags. But whatever te case turns out to be, I don't have a problem with folks displaying campaign signs or flag flying. There is one however that I take exception too. This flag supports Trump and along the bottom, in bold print it encourages you to fornicate your feelings! That isn't the exact language used however and it is that I take exception too. I'm quite certain there are others like myself that feel flying something like that in public is just inappropriate. To me it shows a lack of respect or consideration for others. I am aware that it is their right to do so. I also feel that just because you can, doesn't mean you should. It is that that raises my ire. It's the loss of civility that bothers me. And I can't see it any other way. Words like that are only used to incite negative reactions! There is nothing positive about it. It's verbal aggression! I say that because it became evident to me during my Naval career. 

 I left my small hometown when I was 18 years old. I was a bit of a country hick I suppose, a bit naive. Yes I has tried smoking cigarettes, drinking wine, liquor and beer. I had attempted to take liberties with the young ladies. I'd had my share of fights. But the one thing I didn't do was cuss. Nope, didn't use " bad language " in polite company, or in public. No that was reserved for when something really bad happened, then it was either an exclamation or a muttering under your breath. It certainly wasn't something you said in everyday talking. When I was little it would get my mouth washed out with soap. That's what I was told and I never challenged that. Never did have soap put in my mouth. But when I arrived on my first ship the stereotype came to life, there was cussing and cursing with almost every breath. I immediately recognized it for what it was, a defense. Don't mess with me, I can cuss! And yes, while on ship I adopted that policy as a means of fitting in. I'm not proud of that, but I did it. Still I've always left it there, on ship with the sailors. Occasionally when I'm in the company of those that habitually speak in such fashion I will join right in. Hypocrisy? Yes it is and I offer no excuse for it. I do hold a line on where it is " acceptable " and where it is not, and yes, I am the sole judge of that as I set that standard, for myself. 

 The standard is ever changing in society, I get that. The terms used have changed drastically since I was a young man. Many words that I was taught as " bad words " are in common use today. I still cringe a bit when I hear them. An example of that is saying, that sucks. You had better not be saying that in 1965 unless you are in the company of sailors, at sea, hundreds of miles from homes!  Today I hear it all the time. The words spoken on television these days where certainly not allowed back in the day either. That began to change in the movies, hence the " ratings " system. I can see that whole system disappearing in the next decade or so. To me it is all just a lowering of the standard. Ironic isn't it? A standard, also known as a flag or banner, is now flying signaling a lowering of a standard! It is being done so because, it's my right. Yes it is, and with rights come responsibility. And sometimes that responsibility is only to ourselves. We have all heard the expression clothes make the man and it is often attributed to Mark Twain. Shakespeare said similar in Hamlet. " for the apparel oft proclaims the man " is the line. I would say language oft proclaims the man as well. 

 George Washington, yes that George Washington, father of the nation had this to say; " The foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing is a vice so mean, so low, that every person of sense and character detests and despises it. " I'd say if you feel you need to use that profane cursing and swearing in order to be heard, maybe it's because you aren't saying much worth listening too. Speaking to one another shouldn't be an assault on the senses. An observation of mine: " what begins to be accepted with nervous laughter, soon becomes the norm." It is up to us to establish our personal standard. That's what freedom is all about. Laws restrict or establish standards as well. What standrad will you fly?  

philosophy

 I have noticed in the last few years how people tend to give themselves titles. They seem to have a need to identify themselves with their occupation, hobbies or interests. I have read where many surnames came about that way. Names like Miller, Potter, Cooper and Tailor. Makes sense to me and I can easily understand why that would have come about. Then it made sense to further identify just what Miller, Tailor, Cooper or Smith you wanted. Of course as time went on the Miller no longer Milled or the Tailor no longer tailored. Then different languages began to mingle as the people moved about and the meaning of that surname became lost. It no longer served as an identifier. You no longer knew what to expect! Or more properly I suppose, who to expect as far as their occupational skill set. I'm thinking that is when advertising began. I posted some visual representation of what goods or services I could provide.
 Maybe that is why this trend to give ourselves titles has come about. It is a means to identify our expertise in a certain field. That is certainly the intent when we add all those " degrees " after our name. MD, PhD, BS, BA, and the list goes on. They are there to tell others our level of education. But what of those that have no legitimate claim to such letters? Some just start calling themselves something. Artist, Author, Mechanic, Electrician, and a host of other trades that don't necessarily require those letters after their names. Also they are names that can not be disputed. If you say you are an Artist, you're an artist. Still I see another trend developing, the ability to gain letters for those titles through some form of formal education, even when the formal education can be obtained online! No need to go to a classroom, just do it in pajamas in your living room. Complete the required course of study, pay the fee, and receive a degree entitling you to add letters after your name. You can gain a title. Fact is you can just purchase the degree you desire without any education at all. At least you can buy the paper saying so. Pick a college or University, your choice. I'm thinking the first title to be given was Teacher. That's because, in essence, what is a teacher? One who instructs others seems like a good definition. The Teacher has the answers to the questions. Usually they are the only acceptable answer, any other is wrong.
 Following the teacher the next title had to be philosopher. A philosopher just thinks about stuff and provides what may or may not be the answer. That's what they do. Certainly any philosopher worth his salt will argue that his philosophy is the correct one, otherwise, what's the point? But the philosopher will not proclaim it is the only answer, just the right answer. One of the most famous philosophers was Socrates. If you remember we was accused of corrupting the youth of Athens and a trial was held. Plato subsequently wrote down what Socrates said in his defense, and it was called an apology.
 In Greek the word apology means an explanation. Socrates just explained what he was teaching to his students. Problem was he wasn't the " teacher " and so his answers weren't considered valid by the judges. Thing was, they didn't agree with his philosophy. Socrates was mainly concerned with Ethics, the way people should behave. Perhaps his most radical idea was that knowledge had to sought, not taught! Now that would certainly upset the teachers of the day. Probably still upset teachers to this day truth be told. He questioned everything and anything. Yes, in the end it got him killed, well " suicided " anyway. He was sentenced to death and being a man of honor and integrity he just killed himself!
 Now a teacher needs a degree to teach, at least to teach as a profession. That education validates their expertise in that area. Does a philosopher need a degree to philosophize? No, I don't they do. That's simply because there is no occupation as Philosopher. No one hires a philosopher to philosophize. But what if they did? What qualification would you have to have? I suppose you would have to have whatever education the teacher said you needed. You can obtain a degree in philosophy, but you can't work as a philosopher. But who teaches the teacher to teach philosophy? I tend to agree with Socrates on this one; knowledge can't be taught, it must be sought. He thought only through self examination can one really learn about life and what living means. Why is he known as a philosopher and not a teacher? Well it's just because many people don't like the answers is all. That's my thinking on it anyway. Am I a philosopher? No, I don't think so, but then again that's my philosophy.
  

a new policy

 A Pulitzer prize winning economist, Milton Friedman, said this, " One of the greatest mistakes is to judge policies and programs by their intentions, rather than by their results. " Makes me wonder if any Democrat has ever read a thing that man had to say. They sure don't act like it as they are constantly acting contrary to his advice. The real issue is even when the results are obvious they continue with the program or policy expecting different results. We all know what Einstein said about that, another pretty smart guy they seem to ignore. But then Milton Friedman was a huge supporter of a free market economy and the Democrats are opposed to that so I shouldn't be surprised.
 Now Trump, love him or hate him, has made some changes in trade policy and in treaties. The economy has soared to new heights. Makes you wonder doesn't it? Could it be the prior policies weren't the best? Trump is result oriented, make no mistake about that. That was evident in his " apprentice " tv show. Get results or get fired! Many people pick on him for that show, reality television and all, and I admit I'm not a big fan of reality shows, but still, results are what puts the bread on the table. Another favorite adage of mine is, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. So apparently is the road to poverty! Socialism is the proof of that. Full of good intentions, short on results.
 You see with all these well intended social programs and policies comes a financial responsibility. You can't have one without the other. If you want to give something away you have to have something to give! I know that can be a difficult concept for some to comprehend but it's true. Now if I am the administrator of those programs I can just use your finances to accomplish the goal. All I have to do is convince you that you should go along with that. The easiest way to do that is to promise you more, more than what you already have. Yes, you have to give me more of your money but I'll redistribute that money and you will get more stuff, for free! I just won't mention the part about telling you what you need, I'll decide that, after I get what I want. But you do get to tell other people about your benevolence, your caring and understanding.
 I stumbled upon that quote, " One of the greatest mistakes is to judge policies and programs by their intentions rather than their results" and thought to myself, that's what I've been saying for a long time. That's what my Father used to say, and my Grandfather. They weren't the same words but the advice was the same. It is easy to get distracted from the desired goal. Another adage comes to mind, it is difficult to remember the objective was to drain the swamp, when you are up to your *ss in alligators! In order to drain that swamp you have to get rid of the alligators! You can't do that by placating them, giving them whatever they want, that'll only make them want to stay. No, you need a different policy altogether. 

responsibilty with reason

 I was very pleased that nothing bad happened at the rights rally in Richmond. The counter protestors decided it was wise to not show up and I agree with them wholeheartedly. There was a lot of firepower there and yes, there were some willing to use it. You can give credit to whomever you choose, makes no difference to me, I'm only concerned with the results. I think the point was made in regard to how many feel about the second amendment and any attempt by government to infringe upon that right. A great number of people were moved to participate in that rally and I'm certain a great deal more supported it. It does take a great deal of emotion to move folks into action. As I like to point out, emotion is a ardent motivator but seldom a good guide. Also, emotion is not the language of reason. That is the reason emotional speeches cause such a fuss. It matters little whether what the person is talking about is reasonable or not, it is the emotion that motivates. 

 Perhaps the greatest example of that was Hitler. That he was a motivator of emotions can't be denied. Indeed he roused an entire nation to act in the most unreasonable fashion imaginable. How did he manage to do that? It was simple really, the time was ripe, and he knew exactly what to say. The German people had lost WW1 and felt they weren't given a fair shake at the treaty of Versailles. That treaty imposed very harsh terms. Germany had to accept full responsibility for the war, they were to pay reparations to several countries, their army and navy were severely restricted leaving them with the inability to defend themselves against almost any country, and they lost a great deal of colonial territory. The economy was decimated,  the population poor, hungry and most of all, humiliated! 

 It was the feeling of being humiliated, indeed a feeling that they had been treated unfairly, that allowed Hitler to gain control. It was emotion! There was nothing reasonable, nothing fair, nothing but the rage of Hitler that propelled all of that. The people began surrendering their power to government. Soon the government had all the power, the upper hand and it was too late. It was go along with the government or die! The citizens had been disarmed beginning in the mid 1930's and in ten years time became defenseless against the government. Removing the means to resist coupled with the rhetoric that the German people were superior to all other races created that firestorm. 

 The second amendment was designed to preclude that from happening in America, Hitler wasn't the first to use that tactic and the founding fathers were very much aware of that and feared it. That was the sole purpose of that amendment. It wasn't so much to give the citizen a right to own arms as it was to ensure the citizens could defend themselves against government! In short if the government is to be armed, so too must the citizenry. It is a check on government. The rally in Richmond was to let government know that the citizens will not allow the government to disarm us. I believe the message was clear. We the People are the Government, not the bureaucrats in Washington. They are there to represent us, not to rule us. We the People will not be disarmed, made inferior to the government. 

 Those opposing Trump and his presidency are using similar tactics. There are those insisting the United States is to blame for everything from climate change to world hunger! They are appealing to emotions! There is little to no reason involved. There is only the constant insistence the " we " have to do something. What are they proposing? They are proposing that we surrender! That's what they are asking for in a nutshell. Surrender and allow government to make all the decisions. It's a reversal of what Hitler was doing. Hitler was telling his people that they were superior to all others. Those opposing Trump are telling us we are inferior to everyone else! That's why we should just surrender  and give everything we own to others! We shouldn't expect others to be held accountable for their actions! Forgive the criminals, give them your money, your goods, your property and they won't rob and steal from you! Let the government handle all of that. If we take all the guns away no one will shoot anyone, well except for the government, to keep order you know. 

 Emotions are ardent motivators but seldom good guides! That is a simple statement of fact. I may feel emotional about all the animals in that shelter, but that doesn't mean I should bring them all home. It also doesn't mean I should impose that upon you. How many have suffered from unrequited love? Love is not based in reason, but emotion. That's why it can't be legislated. You can not legislate emotions! That's a fact that I don't believe anyone could argue otherwise. I can however, with sufficient force, make you do whatever I choose. That is, if I can render you defenseless. If I can make you surrender. 

 There are those proposing that we legislate emotion! That is as unrealistic, unreasonable, as you can get. But you can get people to believe that it is possible if you can get them emotional enough. Religious belief has been used over the centuries as an emotional motivator. Cultural pride has been used as an emotional motivator. The promise of wealth has been used as an emotional motivator. And what emotion is being used today? Empathy. We are being told that if we don't surrender our arms, our goods, our money and our freedom it is because we lack empathy! We can all co-exist equally if we all empathize with one another! That's the line and I would have to say it is true. If we all empathized with one another that would indeed be the result. Is it reasonable? No, it isn't reasonable to expect that at all. In all of human history that has never been a reasonable expectation. I know, you can cry about it, but it won't change it. You can't legislate empathy because? It's an emotion.

 I don't believe I'm alone when I say we need a return to common sense. Acting in a reasonable fashion is not a lack of empathy, it's well, common sense. Without some standard, some restraint, a society can not exist. That is as simple as it gets. There are behaviors that are counter productive to society and those behaviors must be addressed, not dismissed. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Empathy is not blindly accepting the feelings of others. Empathy is understanding, not  acceptance. I can understand why my children want to eat that candy, I can share that feeling with them, but that doesn't mean I should allow them to do so. No, I have to make a reasonable choice. I have to tell them no.  It's no different than if they were to lie on the ground and pound their fists or stomp their feet. Yes, I can understand why you want that toy, I can even share that feeing of wanting something, but that doesn't mean you should get the toy! A lack of empathy? No, it is not, it is being a reasonable person. Yes the child may call me mean but I can't react to emotion, I have a responsibility to react with reason. 

 You know maybe I have been wrong. Maybe we don't need a return to common sense. Maybe what we need is a return to, responsibilty with reason.  Maybe we need to just start acting like adults. Quit with all this dreaming of utopia and work on building our nation as it was envisioned. A land of opportunity, not a land of handouts! A land where it is recognized that all men are created equally! We were headed that way. Strides, big strides were made. It was working well. Then those that achieved equality, got what they were guaranteed and indeed what was promised, decided that being equal wasn't so good after all. Equality meant being treated the same! And the bottom line becomes. It isn't fair! Equality isn't fair, and it isn't fair because you aren't being empathic. And because you are not empathic I should control you! I'll start by disarming you. " The threat is usually more terrifying than the thing itself. " " Ridicule is mans most potent weapon. " Know who said these things? Saul Alinsky, rules for radicals. If you are hearing these things just remember where they are coming from. That's your enemy. 

   

Doing our job

  The impeachment trial begins today, Finally! The job before the Senate is to decide whether they agree with the findings of the house. That's it in a nutshell. Remember impeachment is a charge of misconduct made against a public official. That's what impeachment means in the United States. Yes, yes, there are alternative meanings and interpretations but in this context that is what we are talking about, an accusation! Similar to an indictment the house of representatives by a majority vote has accused the President of wrongdoing. Testimony was taken, witnesses have spoken, and the whole thing played out in the house. Now it is up to the Senate to either agree, or dismiss those charges.
 So what is on trial here? It isn't the President. Yes, I know that many don't understand that. Apparently the Democrats' don't understands that either. I guess the word trial is throwing them. What is being tried is the findings of the house. That is the sole purpose the articles of impeachment were delivered to the house. The Democrats, the majority party in the house charged the President with some high crimes or misdemeanor, already had their trial. That was their verdict, to charge him. The Senate must determine whether those charges warrant removal from office. That's how it is supposed to work, according to the constitution. Article One section Two states the House shall have the sole power of impeachment. Seems clear enough to me, the house are the only ones that can accuse the president of wrongdoing. Article Two section Three says, The senate shall have the sole power to try all impeachments. Also seems clear enough to me, they are to try the impeachment not the President.
 Of course I also realize we are dealing with lawyers. And what is the purpose of lawyers? To argue. That's pretty much their job in a nutshell. This is what it says but this is what it means. And even whe they agree on what something means they argue it shouldn't mean that. I believe the founding fathers in composing the Constitution, the bill of rights and other documents attempted to make their thoughts known as clearly as possible. So yes I tend to take what they wrote, literally! Well now, isn't that a novel concept. In the case of impeachment I believe that is just what they meant. The house gets to decide on whether to charge the president ( or others ) of misconduct. The senate then gets to decide if those charges are merited or not. They do so by a complete review of the proceedings in the house. Were those proceeding fair and unbiased? An examination of the vote itself would raise serious doubt in anyone's mind if that person were indeed unbiased. Two hundred and thirty two Democrats voted to impeach while 196 Republicans voted nay. Unbiased? The Senate needs to weigh this carefully. If the Senate decides to find the president guilty wouldn't that be saying all 196 Republicans voted along a partisan line. Basically calling them corrupt! Did any Democrats oppose the impeachment? Yes, there were two. Just two. Did any republican vote for impeachment? Yes, just one. He is now an Independent, having switched his party mid-stream.
 Well whatever the final outcome is, the lawyers will be in all their glory. It's a legal battle of epic proportions. Personally I don't think it will last very long. Right or wrong the Republicans now hold all the cards. The Democrats had their turn, they decided to file impeachment charges. The Senate, the Republicans, get to decide if those charges are justified or not. Nothing to do but watch and listen. Are our representatives truly acting in our best interests? Or could it be that our Representatives are only concerned with retaining their representative status? Pay close attention and vote in November. That is our job in all of this.           

Let us pray

 Today I am concerned with the planned gun rights rally in Virginia. I just feel like it is a powder keg. The Governor has declared a state of emergency, before any emergency has occurred. I can certainly understand taking precautions, a preemptive measure. What concerns me is a perception, by some factions, that government is overstepping its' bounds with these measures. The fear being it may have quite the opposite effect. Emotions are running high, extremely high, regarding our second amendment rights. I am one to support the second amendment although not to the extreme. It is the extremists on either end of the issue that causes this concern.

 I do have an unsettled feeling about this. It may turn into a pivotal moment in history. Yes, I believe it has that potential. I've already read and heard several conspiracy theories. There are those working on both sides to slant public opinion in their favor. I've heard that the plan is for the government to disarm law abiding gun owners using this rally as a springboard for that action. The plan is to plant " activists " in that crowd to spark violence. The left could then use that as justification for confiscation. There are those on the extreme right that are more than willing to cooperate. There are those that can be lead to such an extreme, easily. 

 This rally could prove to be the proverbial line in the sand. It is my hope that no one steps over that line. I can see both sides of this coin. I firmly oppose the dismantling of the Constitution and its' amendments. The very reason we have the second amendment is to prevent the government from taking away our rights. It really has little to do with the right to own arms, it has everything to do with the right to defend ourselves against government oppression. To remove the rights of the law abiding citizen because of the actions of criminals makes no sense. Should there be some restrictions? Of course there should be. Those supporting the second amendment like myself aren't arguing that we should have automatics weapons and that we should be able to walk around armed like the wild west! No, my concern isn't with that, my concern rests with government overstepping its' authority. The removal of the second amendment, or placing such prohibitive restrictions upon its' exercise as to render it useless, is a severe restriction of liberty! Liberty is worth defending. And therein lies the powder keg. 

 I will defend liberty by every legal means available. I still believe in the rule of law and the constitution. It is my firm belief the necessity for a " well armed militia " still exists to this day. A people that can not defend themselves against government are not really free. History shows us the eventual result of an unarmed population. The founding fathers were all too well aware of that. One can argue over semantics and what words mean all day long. A militia was created first simply because a fledgling nation can't finance an Army! That's just the reality. But the important thing to remember is, a country's standing army shouldn't replace its' citizens. And I believe those citizens requires arms in defense. 

 I sincerely hope I am wrong about today. I'm hoping for a renewal of my faith in humanity. I hope no one does anything rash or stupid. I hope no one lights the proverbial match. It's a tense situation in Richmond. Let's all pray that cool heads prevail. 

In reflection

 I was listening to an interview on the morning news. They were doing a piece on revitalizing the city as you often hear. This individual had opened a restaurant serving his native food. I didn't catch what nationality he is but it isn't important to this blog anyway. I listened as he said how he loved being in America. I heard him extolling the benefits of this great nation. He had received assistance in obtaining a loan, interest free, through a government program. He explained how he had gotten free training on how to run the business, and indeed help in obtaining the equipment and the  building! He said he had gained legal status and had his application to become an American citizen. Then he told the reporter how there were others, in his country, that dreamed of coming to America. It was a goal of theirs, to come here, and succeed as he had. And all of that was heartening to hear.
 Then the tone of the interview changed as he began talking about his culture. His business was to cater to his people, to his culture. He began to explain how his people were treated badly in the neighborhood and felt uncomfortable.  He said his people were being underserved in the community. As he continued in this discourse it became increasingly evident to me that this man loved the benefits America had to offer, but he didn't love America! And that is were I began to listen a bit closer. It became clear to me that he wanted more of " his " people to come here, take advantage of all we had to offer, while establishing their own " little country " in our neighborhood! They weren't interested in becoming Americans at all. They don't want to adjust to our culture, they are expecting to continue in their own, separate and equal. Therein lies the biggest issue in the country today, in my humble opinion. Separate but equal is addressed in the 14th amendment to the constitution. Many a legal battle has been fought over that beginning in 1896 with the Plessy case. Common sense has prevailed and we all know that separate but equal is a fallacy. Separate but equal is inherently prejudicial, unfair, and discriminatory! But these folks are hoping to establish separate and equal!  That too is inherently unfair, discriminatory, prejudicial, and indeed in defiance of our constitution.
 Now I know this isn't some new revelation and that this has been said for many generations. It has also been true for many generations. Yes, it is a mixed bag. I realize that there are some that genuinely want to come to America and be Americans. The issue is when there are greater numbers of  foreign nationals in the country that have no intention of becoming Americans. Then they apply pressure to new immigrants to resist American values. You might say, calling them the new " Uncle Toms." They are urged, coerced, to not integrate into American society but rather to retain their cultural heritage. That appears to be the mindset of a good portion of these " immigrants " these days. I want to live in your country, I want to enjoy all the benefits and privilege's of that, but I'm not going to be an American! I'm going to be a " whatever " living in America and enjoy equal benefits! Citizenship to them is merely a permission slip, a permit or license to utilize benefits. Citizenship creates entitlement! There is no interest in becoming an American.
 The present generation of American born people are about the eighth generation since the revolutionary war. It may be closer to nine depending how many years constitute a generation. I'm using thirty. I also think there were Americans, before we had America. That is to say Americans created America. But whatever the case may be is America outgrowing its' American roots? Are we the same America that we started out with? Do we hold the same values? Those values are delineated in the Constitution. But the Constitution has been constantly reinterpreted. There is a theory that generations repeat. It's a little complicated but here is the link : American Generations 

I haven't read the entire thing but intend to do just that. On the surface it seems legit. It does explain, or at least make an attempt at explaining, why history repeats itself. I believe that is a valid observation. Leaves me wondering if we are experiencing another revolution! All this business with immigration and culture clashes I mean. It's what precipitated the American revolution if you think about it. The folks here not thinking of themselves as subjects of the Queen but independent, and resenting having to pay taxes to the same. We were Americans, not British subjects.
 There were a total of 55 delegates to the constitutional convention of 1787. This is when the Constitution was signed. Only 39 of the delegates signed that document. Seven of those men were foreign born, technically immigrants, although it could be argued there weren't immigrants until independence had been achieved. Still, their desire to be an American can not be disputed.
 We are in a crisis. That is found in the article I gave the link to. The fourth generation in each cycle experiencing some form of crisis. You would have to check that out to see my point there. I certainly believe an argument could be made for just that. Is America to be discarded as a noble experiment? At least the America I know and love that is. I'm certain each generation before me had some of the same feeling. I'm as equally certain that generations following me will as well. But it is one of the ironies of life I suppose, the future can only be seen in reflections of the past.
After having written and posted this an additional thought came to mind. I thought I should include this observation: " domestic tranquility can only be achieved through cultural commonality "   

Inspired or amused

 Talent isn't taught. That is something I wholeheartedly believe. You can be instructed in just about anything, learn the basics, the art of the action, but talent can't be taught. Talent is an inherent trait, inherited from some mysterious combination of chromosomes, a part of your DNA. I think the key to all that is believing you have talent. You have to convince yourself first, others will follow, maybe. But from where does that conviction flow? Is it solely in the acknowledgement of others? That certainly seems to be the case, at least in a commercial sense. And if you are not commercially successful, you are not successful at all. You may be a success in your own mind but without  recognition is it reality? I'd say that is where the water gets murky. Reality is a perception and each one of us has a slightly different one. 

 I have learned many trades over the years. I am by no means expert in any one of them. Commonly called a Jack of all Trades and master at none. I think that is an accurate description. I do know a little about a lot of different disciplines. I can wire a house, fix your car, shingle your roof, pour concrete, run every machine in the machine shop, fix your plumbing and a number of other trade related activities. I would also say I don't have a particular talent for any one of them. I can't draw, paint, sculpture or anything like that. No artist here. Most of what I learned was out of necessity, I very rarely hire anyone to do any of those things for me. I have in the last few years as I am getting just too old to lie on the ground , under a car, fooling around with that stuff. I am making some allowances for myself, a sort of reward. 

 Starting about ten years ago I began writing these blogs. Prior to that I hadn't written much, a few poems, although I would describe them more as rhymes, a toying with words and thoughts. I have had zero training in composition and literature. I'm not even that well read, as the saying goes. But I don't believe that is a necessity. As I said in the beginning, talent can't be taught. I don't think I'm particularly talented when it comes to writing. I do so because I enjoy doing it. I do harbor some hope that I may leave some words of substance along the way. Even a single quote can immortalize you! And isn't that an encouraging thought? It is to me. Consider this surprisingly inspirational quote, " Words build bridges into unexplored regions." It sure sounds encouraging, intelligent and profound. Who said it? Adolf Hitler! Yup, that is something he wrote. He isn't remembered for that, but if he hadn't been a total psycho and one of the evilest men to ever walk the earth, he might have been. Nobody wants to quote Hitler! Another great observational quote " It takes less courage to criticize the decisions of others than to stand by your own. " That was Attila the Hun. Who would have thought. " The really strong have no need to prove it to the phonies. " Charles Manson. I have to say those quotes are words of substance dispute who said them. So I figure unless I do something really notorious I stand a chance of being quoted one day. Who said that? Why Ben Reichart said that! Who is he? 

 The answer to that question is one I think about often. Just who am I? Well, I'm just a jack of all trades and master at none. Do I have a particular talent? I'm not certain that I do, nor am I certain that I need one. It's true that we all feel like we a knack for something, something we can do better than others. Apparently my knack is annoying others, I can do that easily enough. Proficiency and talent are separate things. You can be quite proficient at a task, but lack talent for that task. Talent requires inspiration, that is what motivates that. I guess if you figure out what inspires you , you will find your talent. The expression of thought is what inspires me even when I don't agree with the thought!  I don't believe I have much of a talent for it though. Maybe I'm not really inspired, just amused. There is a very fine line between the two. The difference between faith and belief.  

what's the difference

   This is one of those days when I have little I want to share. I do tell my little stories on occasion but stories are running short. As anyone that even reads these blogs occasionally could testify I'm usually just talking to myself. I just share whatever thoughts and observations come to mind. I take my inspiration from the news, social media or just people watching. Lately however I have been taking a different view of things. It isn't anything new, I've always known that others don't always " see " the same thing as I do. The time and place of our youth play the biggest role in that. That's my thinking anyway. Or to be more accurate, I should say, how closely one clings to that base. Others will try to persuade you from that to align more closely with their own. That is human nature. I experienced a small example of that yesterday when talking with my grandson. There was an older gentleman on the television and he described a young man as a black boy. My grandson was immediately upset by that saying that man must be racist. I disagreed, explaining to him to a man of that age it may be no more than a descriptor. Not a politically correct one, but a simple description. My grandson felt that man should be more aware of todays' sensibilities. The young insisting the old conform to their standard. And I thought, perhaps that is a bit of the problem today, a reduced tolerance by the younger folk to the older folk. What I was taught as, respecting your elders.
 I mention that little discussion only to demonstrate human nature. I'm not certain nature is the correct word choice but I'll go with right now. What I'm trying to talk about are the mannerism, thoughts, and knowledge we accumulate over time. There are some things that will stick with us. Slang or whatever you want to call it is a prime example of that. The young folks pick up on that quickly as they are constantly adopting and discarding such terms. The older we get the less we tend to adopt the current lingo. I've reached the age where there are things the kids say that I have no idea about! It's because I quit paying attention to that. Besides that it usually comes off as pathetic if you are in your mid sixties and try to talk like you're 16. It's even worse if you try to dress that way. LOL In the case of that older gentleman on television I believe that he genuinely didn't think of his descriptor as a racist statement. I remember when African- Americans insisted on being called Black, and when a boy was just a young man. Now I'm aware that isn't the case today and so no longer use those terms. Still, I didn't feel that as instantly offensive nor assume it was a racist remark. That was simply because of the age of the speaker. I believe that man was most likely near eighty years old. Had he been younger than myself my thoughts may have been different. Human nature? Like I said not really the right choice of wording as it is more of a learned behavior. Truly we are a product of the times. Problem sometimes being, we are in different times.
 So I guess what I'm talking about is resistance to change. How willing are you to change your core behaviors or beliefs. That depends upon how important those things are to you. I think we all choose certain aspects that we will never change. Other behaviors, thoughts and mannerism are subject to change. We do have to adapt and conform as society evolves. Evolution is the development of something from a simple to a more complex structure, often thought of as better, but that isn't necessarily so. It is a matter of principle and popularity. How readily are you willing to sacrifice a principle for popularity? The real issue is in defining your principles. Not every thing you believe is a principle, some are baggage. Discovering the difference is the journey.
 Well for not having much to say I've certainly said something. I'll leave it to you, the reader, to figure it all out. I don't think of myself as having all the answers. I just have my own opinions and convictions. I also feel if you are not willing to defend those convictions, they are probably not worth having in the first place. Opinions however may vary, they are transient things. I have been asked, what's the difference? That's the difference.          

gangland

 Back in November my grandson informs me that it is no shave November. Now not knowing whether this is a thing or not I gave it little thought. Truth is I hadn't shaved for a few days because I wasn't going out. Shaving has never been one of my favorite things. Another truth is I am not one capable of growing a really good beard. But Mark suggests I participate in this no shave Novemeber. I agreed. Later, much later I find out this is supposed to be in support of those who have cancer. The treatment for cancer often causes the loss of your hair and by growing yours you are displaying solidarity! At least that is what I read on the Internet. I was supposed to donate all the money I didn't spend on shaving supplies to that cause. It was even suggested I start a fundraiser. Well as I said, I wasn't aware of that at all.

 So here it is January 16, 2020 and I find myself with a beard. Yes I did let it grow. It's winter so the extra insulation can't hurt. I have to say it doesn't look that bad, my wife says she likes it. I'm getting used to it but it requires more attention than just shaving. I want to keep it trimmed and neat. I don't want a " redneck " beard. I'll leave that style to those that can grow one. As I said, mine doesn't grow like that. I had it trimmed when I got my haircut and was told about beard oil. I didn't know there was such a product. I have purchased some and I like it. It makes your beard smell good and keeps it moisturized in addition to conditioning your skin. Well, who knew? I feel rather cosmopolitan. Just a little bit of a dandy. And now I have a bit of an urge to purchase a pipe and smoking jacket. Perhaps a bottle of cognac or brandy. LOL. 

 I have had a goatee in the past. That is when I was just a young man trying to look older. I can remember when I thought that was important. That " goat " was totally unimpressive and looked rather silly. Still at that time I thought it was cool. I've had a moustache as long as I can remember being able to grow one. I have shaved it off and immediately started growing it back! My father was always shaven. Well I mean he didn't have a beard or moustache although stubble was a frequent look of his, would be quite stylish today. As for me I've found I can now grow more hair on my face than on my head! That's fine I am usually wearing a het anyway. Now that is something I got from my Dad, rarely did I see him without a hat of some type. It was a necessity for him, although I wasn't aware of it at the time. You see his hairstyle was the " slicked back " style. At least that is what I call it. That's when you take your hair and comb it straight back. You need a hat to keep it out off your eyes. Now if he was going out on the town or some formal occasion the Vitalis came out. At least a generous amount did. His hair, which was jet black, would be slicked back with just a hint of a pompadour. Not so big he couldn't wear his Fedora but enough to give it style. He did grow a beard in his last few years because he was ill and shaving became just too difficult. 

 Well I'm not sure how long I will keep this beard. It may become uncomfortable in the summer months. In the meantime it's a change. Another funny thing about having this beard is a compulsion to preface my remarks with, I don't always but when I do. Wonder why that is? I am happy to find that I was supporting a cause I agree with, even if I didn't know it. From now on I will be checking on this stuff beforehand. It could have been embarrassing or sending the wrong message. I mean I'm aware of all the ribbons, I heard about the safety pin, but I didn't know about no shave November. All these signs and symbols, it's like gangland out there! 

apology

 I don't have much on my mind to write about this morning. I find my thoughts preoccupied. I am preoccupied with things I have already written. You could call it a rethinking. So far I haven't changed my opinion but question whether sharing that opinion was wise. It's not that I didn't believe what I was saying but it may have been a bit of a violation. I have written of, " polite company ", in the past. I do think of social media as being in polite company, although I am insulated from any direct physical confrontation. And isn't that the test of polite company? Is it something you would say to their face! Regrettably I'd have to admit that sometimes I do push that boundary. I have done so lately and that's the cause of this preoccupation. I find myself admonishing myself! I also find myself making excuses for that behavior. 

 Now a particular opinion I shared has stayed with me. That in itself sends up a flag, That flag isn't white however, I'm not ready to surrender. On the other hand it isn't a battle flag either. So far I'm just holding my ground. But it does bother me and perhaps an apology is in order. The issue is, simply put, the apology would be for myself. I'm fully aware of that and is that fair? Apologies issued to ease your own conscience do little for the one injured. Words spoken can not be retracted. You can attempt to justify those words, defend them, but you can't erase them. The best you can hope for is that they are set aside. But the thing is, apologies require taking full responsibility, no half measures, no partial admission and no justification. That is what I find myself struggling with. If I can't do that the apology is pointless. Plato said, " when men speak ill of thee, live so as nobody may believe them." Of course that does require you to be correct in your actions in the first place, unless the person speaking ill of you is lying! 

 The most famous apology of all, Plato's Apology, addresses this sort of thing. Plato wrote it down but it is actually Socrates defending himself having been charged with corrupting the youth of Athens and denying the Gods. The word apology comes from the Greek and means defense. Of course it has come to mean quite a different thing today. Socrates wasn't apologizing for this teachings, quite the opposite in fact, he was defending them. He concludes his defense by telling the judges and jurors they should in fact be grateful to him. He goes on to call their morality into question! That, of course, ultimately gets him the death sentence. A few weeks after the trial he famously drinks hemlock! 

 I'm no Socrates that much is certain. I do find in this particular situation I don't have an apology to offer. That is to say perhaps what I said was indefensible. Isn't that what an apology has become? An admission of guilt. Yes that is what Socrates was saying and I can't argue with Socrates. So, I am guilty and an apology is in order. All that is left is to do it. And so I will. 

 Perhaps it will make no difference to the one I offer this apology too. That doesn't change the necessity in me doing so. It is also not necessary for anyone else to know besides that individual. An apology accepted is not used as a weapon. An apology offered does expose you, makes you vulnerable. Isn't that the hardest part? The willingness to take that chance. I admit, it gives me pause. Socrates didn't hesitate. Well, history tells us what happened to him. Is that an excuse?  

  

looking back

 I looked at the calendar and here it is, the 14th of January 2020. How did that happen so quickly? The holidays are behind us, the decorations mostly stored away, and cupid has appeared. Just like that. All that's left are the bills. And I don't mean the football team, even they are done for the year. Not that I'm a fan it's just an observation. My year has started well, no sickness, no big issues. I've heard others haven't been as lucky. All I can do is offer prayers and pray that it doesn't happen to me. Time just has a way of moving on. 

 I haven't made any big plans for the new year, no resolutions, I'll leave those to the Democrats, and figure on taking life as it unfolds, wrinkles and all. Those wrinkles will iron themselves out after a while. At least they always have, sometimes to my detriment, more often than not they just smoothed themselves out. Just like using a sprinkler bottle, a little rain has to fall before the wrinkles come out. I hear others complaining about their quality of life when things don't go their way. I like to remind them that the finest quality in life is being alive! Almost everything else is optional. I say almost because you do need to eat, drink and have shelter. Anything much beyond that, are the extras. I've been blessed with extras. I have enjoyed good health, that's a blessing for sure. I've enjoyed success in the working world. A loving family, good friends and no enemies. There are some that don't hold me in high regard, but I wouldn't call them enemies. I'd call them balance. Ying and Yang. Everyone needs that in their life so I'm just providing a free service. 

 I did receive a cat as a Christmas gift. I have been without a pet, well unless you count fish and a crayfish, for quite a while. My last cat was one I called Hobo because he was rescued. Someone had left him behind and at first the neighbor feed him. When she moved she told me she was unable to find anyone to take care of him and she hated taking him to the pound. She was afraid he wouldn't get adopted and that would be the end. I brought him home with me although the wife wasn't real happy about that. I called him Hobo because he was just bumming around. Anyway I had him a few years and he just sorta hung around. I don't know his age but he wasn't what I would describe as active, he was rather calm. Not this one! Morris is quite active, jumping on everything. He runs through the house like a flash, upsetting things, jumping on things and generally making us older folks nervous. He enjoys biting my hand then licking it. So now I'm thinking this will be the year of the cat. According to the Chinese this February begins the year of the Pig. I'm glad Christmas isn't in February. 

 We are not even one month into winter and I'm ready for spring. That's 66 days away. Sounds like a lot now but soon I'll be saying, where did winter go? I heard the crocus were up in parts of Alabama. Heck it was 70 here the other day. Global warming I suppose. Trump is still the president, still waiting on the impeachment thing to come to its' obvious conclusion. The election rhetoric is ramping up as Democratic candidates are dropping out. Should prove to be an interesting summer. I don't have any summer projects planned this year but will likely inherit one. And that's a good thing. Life goes on and it seems like it's building steam to use an older saying. Time is getting faster, could be because I'm going downhill. But still, that doesn't mean there aren't more hills to climb. Bring it on 2020 and if all goes well I'll be looking back. That's a 2020 joke you know, hindsight and all that. Isn't that our goal? To be able to look back. When you can't do that it's a real problem. Fact is you can't look ahead, that's a blind spot. So, hindsight is 2020 and it's a good thing!     

when I was a kid

 When I say, when I was a kid, I mean fifty years ago. It's a fact that is often lost on me. Sure doesn't seem like fifty years have past. That's a long time when you put it that way. Now, to some, I'm a senior citizen. Well that's better than being a senior illegal I suppose. There are a great number of them around these days. Some have been here as long as I have! But I'm not going to get into all of that. My observation being we used to assume everyone was a citizen. Of course we assumed there were two genders so there's that. Things sure have changed in the last fifty years1. I remember watching commercials for cigarettes. I'd walk a mile for a Camel and step up, step, step all the way up, to Kool. Now that's bad, very bad, but we are legalizing smoking pot! Well, they only advertise for the CBD oil, a miracle treatment for most everything, and it's cool because you don't get high. Still, we can use that oil as an avenue to legalize pot, funny how that works. But it's all just a change in societal attitudes and sensibilities. My feeling being we are attempting to live in a world we wish existed, instead of the one that does. The American dream? No I don't believe that was the American Dream I was told about. In my American Dream if you work hard, do the right things, you can succeed. It is up to you to make that dream a reality, it isn't a government benefit! Dreams aren't entitlements. Success and failure depends upon you.
 Since I was a kid, fifty years ago, I have seen government become more of an impediment to that success than anything else. In an attempt to make everything " fair " the playing field has been tilted. Success has become an uphill battle against government intervention in our lives. Now I still believe our Republic is the best system of government in the world today. I won't go as far as saying it is perfect, but certainly the best we have. Government has slowly been infected from within though, infected by the career politicians. In the beginning of the Republic, long before I was a kid, the public was the government. Slowly government detached itself from the public. No longer a government of the people, but a government of politicians. A government not so concerned with defending liberties, as defining what those liberties are. The greater portion of those " liberties " involve paying some form of tax, fee, or compensation to the government. You can do that as long as you pay for it! Works that way with certain moral actions as well. But I won't go there this morning.
 Since I was a kid, fifty years ago, there have been great strides made in medicine and technology. What defines a society is what they do with those advances. Are they made available to everyone? They are, for a fee. That's the way it works. Supply and demand. I have a product or service that you want, or need, and you have to pay for that. Should government assume custody of those? That is to say, should government provide all of that, to every citizen? Some people will say yes, the governmet should provide that to those in need. The issue then becomes defining need. How do we define that? Is it based solely on your ability to pay? Is that it? If I fail to do anything to improve my condition, I just don't do a thing, can I create that need? A need the government is then obligated to fulfill? Or should I have to first demonstrate that I have put forth my best effort, tried my hardest, but circumstances have conspired against me, it's just not my fault. Then having demonstrated that I gain eligibility?
 Since I was a kid , fifty years ago, a great deal of that has changed. I would say in a general way charity, and the asking of it has become a far more acceptable attitude. Indeed, many today see charity as an entitlement. They don't ask for it, they demand it. If they are refused charity, they will attempt to gain that through the legal system! Now Government and Charity do not belong in the same sentence. Something that has changed in the last fifty years. The Social Security Act passed in 1935 led to the demise of the Alms Houses, also known as County homes. By the time I was born in 1953 most of those homes had closed their doors, the belief being Social Security and Medicare would provide for the old people. It was the aged and the infirm that occupied those county homes in the early part of the twentieth century. So, they closed and now homelessness has increased dramatically, the old folks can't afford to live in a care facility of any type, and there are cries of more charity from the government. Where county homes the answer? They were practical that much is certain. Where there abuses? Of course there were. Were they a realistic alternative to just living in the street?
 When I was a kid the threat of " going to the poor house " was a reality. At least it had been a reality to my parents and grandparents. They could have easily wound up there. Many did, through no fault of their own, circumstances conspiring to bankrupt them. Thing is, the poor house isn't somewhere you wanted to go. Why? Was it the conditions there? Was it shame? Or was it the realization that being sent there obligated you to the government. Yes, if you were physically able you had to work, be productive, you couldn't just lie around. There was a consequence! Receiving charity from the government wasn't a release from obligation, it was a commitment to one! You had to be productive.
 Since I was a kid, fifty years ago, a lot has changed. But it isn't just the fifty years I am aware of. I was influenced by those remembering when they were a lid, fifty years ago. That's why I thought my parents were old fashioned. And my grandparents, well they came from a totally different time period. Still their attitudes and ideas were transferred to me and I adopted some. Some are ideas from the last century! I have thought about that. When I say when I was a kid, fifty years ago, I am talking about the mid twentieth century! My grandchildren weren't born until the 21st! When I was a kid, fifty years ago, it never occurred to me that my grandparents were born in the 19th century! OMG Some of the ideas I have come from there. It doesn't make them less valid though. 

Buck up and Buckle down

  Buck up and buckle down. They are two idioms I heard frequently growing up. I was never quite sure what it was I was supposed to be bucking or buckling. But those sayings popped out of my mouth in a conversation I was having with my wife. She says she hadn't heard them when she was growing up. I was surprised by that as I thought they were common enough. Of course they weren't the first sayings I have used that she wasn't familiar with. I expect that is true with a great number of us when we weren't raised in the same state, town or neighborhood. She was raised in Stony Creek, Maryland. A neighborhood I know nothing about beyond the few times she has mentioned it. I think I would have liked it though. Seems homey from what I've heard.
 Now I was born and raised on Long Island New York. I was told to buck up often. According to the Internet this idiom is used predominately in the south. So I'm wondering why it was used there. No one in my family is from the south. I knew one man that came from down south and he spoke funny. He said, ya'll a lot. Big John was what we called him and he drove the school bus. He would stop that bus, stand up facing us children and say in a very loud and booming voice, " ya'll sit down and stay sit " and I found it hilarious. I did exactly as was told, but finding it funny at the same time. He was a bit scary when in that mood. I was related to him in some fashion through in-laws or outlaws and would see him in social settings as well. A jovial man by nature I really liked him. I don't recall him ever saying buck up though.
 As for buckle down, I heard that from my teachers and my parents. If I had only buckled down I guess I would be a millionaire today to hear them tell it. I had the protentional, if I would only buckle down. I hated hearing that. I found it to be an annoyance. You need to buckle down young man. In 1968 Archie Bell and the Drells released a song called Tighten Up. The refrain was, Do the Tighten Up. So after that every time I heard buckle down. I thought, Do the tighten Up and it would bring a smile to my face. Sometimes my Father would offer to wipe that smile off my face. Well fact is, he called it a smirk and a smirk and a smile are different things altogether, subject to interpretation. To the uninitiated the difference is quite subtle. My father, and a few others were experts at recognizing a smirk! Thinking back I was often told to buckle down following the appearance of that smirk! Wonder if they are somehow connected. I think the phrase would be, you had better buckle down! The implication being clear, bad things would happen if I didn't buckle down. Well, they did, guess I should have listened. But then again I suspect those things would have happened anyway but I wouldn't say that out loud, get accused of being a wise guy. That's another I heard a lot. Don't be a wise guy! The three wise men were a good thing but being a wise guy wasn't.
 It was a  bit confusing. I would be told to buckle down. I didn't and received less than satisfactory results, well less than satisfactory to Mom and Dad anyway, and got punished for that. When I complained about the punishment I was told to buck up! But if I bucked up too much, got that smirk on my face, I was a wise guy. Don't be a wise guy! I thought the buckling down was supposed to improve my grades, make me a wiser person. If I cried I was informed I would be given something to cry about! I already had that in my view, it's all very confusing. But I was told to remember what goes around comes around. So in reality it was all my fault for not buckling down. Guess I should have just bucked up! Bucked up and buckled down that's the key! And so it has all come true, now I'm just a wise guy.