Thursday, February 15, 2018

choosing a side

  Nothing was ever solved by running away. Ideas were never heard without being spoken. A book isn't read until you open the pages. I'm aware of all of those things and yet this morning I'm considering doing just that, just running away. Following the tragic actions of yet another crazy person with a gun that whole conversation will once again be held. Neither side will change their opinion. It is as I posted first thing, " and here we go again, blaming the gun " and that sums it up for me.  I will not discuss it further. There is no sense in having that conversation again simply because it will not be a conversation, no ideas will be exchanged, nothing constructive accomplished.
 I began years ago writing a blog. I have continued with that on almost a daily basis. Whereas I have enjoyed it for the most part, the reason I keep doing it, there are moments when I think about quitting. There is a fine line between voicing your opinion and being opinionated. Strange how that works really. If you state your opinion and then fail to respond when someone attacks that opinion it's okay. Defend your opinion, and you are labeled opinionated ! Opinionated is a bad thing. I am guilty of that,  I will defend my opinion. Except this morning, this morning I hesitate. I see the futility in it and grow weary. But there is part of me that realizes accomplishments only happen through persistence.
 This is where I find my thoughts this morning, sitting on the proverbial fence. In my experience when you find yourself wanting to distance yourself from something that's what you should do. Taking a break isn't usually the answer. Whatever it is you are distancing yourself from most likely won't change in your absence. Perhaps you will change. The thing is,  if you return you most likely will encounter whatever caused you to take a break in the first place. It's like an alcoholic, you can't just take a break from that. My problem is I'm not a quitter. I have no explanation for that it is just a part of who I am. Some call it being obstinate. Being obstinate is also a bad thing, like being opinionated. Both of those conditions are dependent upon the perceptions of others. I am aware of that and that causes this hesitation. I have to decide for myself which side of the fence to land on when getting down. All fences have two sides. The good side is supposed to face the neighbor, the other side, you. Is there a moral in there ? The good side is all pretty and nice, looks good with just a glance. The other side is what holds it up, joins it all together. It has a beauty to it as well, but one not immediately obvious.
 I'm not very comfortable sitting on the fence. It is a position I just don't occupy often. I can see a lot from up here that's true. I can hear what each side is saying. I do tend to go for substance rather than beauty. I won't stay long upon the fence, I never do. I've always been of the mind that you really do have to decide, make a choice. I repeated it yesterday, and I'll repeat it today, emotions are often ardent motivators but seldom good guides. This morning I'm emotional. 

No comments:

Post a Comment