I have explored this thought in the past but was reminded of it once again. As I was talking to Mom, who is 86 now, she began to call me Benny. She hasn't called me that in many years now. Now, her mind and memory are just fine so I can't blame it on old age. I just wonder what brought that on. Nostalgia ? But whatever the reason It did remind me. I have thought what if I had kept using that name, Benny. It is what I was called throughout my childhood and through high school. I only began using Ben after joining the Navy. I expect that is because Ben sounds more " macho " than Benny. I don't know why that should be so because I knew a man named Benny. He was a butcher ! Now that's a macho kinda job. You don't get much more macho than cutting up dead animals. But I digress. It is this idea of a name that intrigues me. My given name is Austin, a name very few have ever called me. Mostly it has been new teachers that just read a name off their list. I always corrected them immediately, I was Benny. To my Mom, little Ben. To my father, Bubba.
First impressions are made with your name. I think we would all agree on that. Benny is different than Ben. You can just hear the difference. It is that feminine Y that is the culprit. Like Billy and Bill or Dan and Danny. Most just drop that Y as soon as we get older. I'm Ben ! But what if I had stayed Benny or used the name I was given, Austin ? Would it have changed my life ? I'm thinking it may have only in regard to the way others would have reacted to me. We all like to think of ourselves as independent but we do react to others. If those others treated us differently isn't it safe to assume we would have reacted differently ? It is in the reaction that things may have changed. I guess a psychologist would have an explanation for this. For me, I wanted to be like Dad and Dad was Ben. Big Ben is what he was called to distinguish him from Little Ben. You see, little Ben only existed outside of my family and close friends. To those that knew my parents or my siblings casually that is what I was called. I didn't like it then and still don't like to be called, little. Funny how that bothers me, well back to the shrink ! I will never be Big Ben so I settled on Ben.
I do think we have different names during different parts of our lives. Those names are either given to us or we just start introducing ourselves with that name. I was never given a nick-name. The closet thing to that was my best friends' Dad calling me Bouncin' Benny for the way that I walk. Apparently I had a bit of a bounce in my step. Very few people ever called me that so I don't think it qualifies as a nick name. What is interesting with the introduction of this social media is you can start using any name you want, without question. Social media is a whole new world. Yes your true identity can be discovered should someone wish to do so but most of us just take folks at their word. Well at least until we have reason to do otherwise. So, if I wanted I could start using any name I wanted. I could add a string of letters after it and lead folks to believe I have qualifications and skills I do not. I guarantee you they would respond quite differently to my postings than they would as Ben. But, I'm not interested in social experimentation. What I was reminded of is, I am Benny. Little Ben. Or at least I was at one point in time. Does that change really ? Yes I think it does and we don't get to choose. We can only react to the situation.
I do find it interesting how when I am called Benny by old friends and classmates it makes me smile. That name has a familiar ring to it. It transports me back in time. I remember that guy. He is still around just goes by a different name. That is the hope anyway. Benny was a pretty good guy. He tried hard to be a tough guy at times but was just reacting to the times. Didn't we all ? The name we use or are assigned must be viewed in the context of time and place. I expect if I were born into a wealthy and prominent family I would have been Austin. At least in 1953 I would have been. You didn't hear that name often. Today Austin's' are run of the mill. I know a couple besides myself !
The way we address each other makes a difference. When I was younger we addressed each other in a more formal manner, based on age and perceived position in society. Consider this, my Doctor was Dr. Abel and I never knew his first name. I went to school with his daughter and still didn't know that information. I don't know the first name of many of my teachers. Adults were Mr. and Mrs. always ! Saying sir or miss was everyday, never hey you or some other disrespectful greeting. Maybe it we returned to that, addressing each other with a bit more courtesy and respect we would all get along better. The reaction would be different that much I know. The name we use to address each other causes each of us to react in either a positive or negative fashion. It something we do on a subconscious level.
First impressions are made with your name. I think we would all agree on that. Benny is different than Ben. You can just hear the difference. It is that feminine Y that is the culprit. Like Billy and Bill or Dan and Danny. Most just drop that Y as soon as we get older. I'm Ben ! But what if I had stayed Benny or used the name I was given, Austin ? Would it have changed my life ? I'm thinking it may have only in regard to the way others would have reacted to me. We all like to think of ourselves as independent but we do react to others. If those others treated us differently isn't it safe to assume we would have reacted differently ? It is in the reaction that things may have changed. I guess a psychologist would have an explanation for this. For me, I wanted to be like Dad and Dad was Ben. Big Ben is what he was called to distinguish him from Little Ben. You see, little Ben only existed outside of my family and close friends. To those that knew my parents or my siblings casually that is what I was called. I didn't like it then and still don't like to be called, little. Funny how that bothers me, well back to the shrink ! I will never be Big Ben so I settled on Ben.
I do think we have different names during different parts of our lives. Those names are either given to us or we just start introducing ourselves with that name. I was never given a nick-name. The closet thing to that was my best friends' Dad calling me Bouncin' Benny for the way that I walk. Apparently I had a bit of a bounce in my step. Very few people ever called me that so I don't think it qualifies as a nick name. What is interesting with the introduction of this social media is you can start using any name you want, without question. Social media is a whole new world. Yes your true identity can be discovered should someone wish to do so but most of us just take folks at their word. Well at least until we have reason to do otherwise. So, if I wanted I could start using any name I wanted. I could add a string of letters after it and lead folks to believe I have qualifications and skills I do not. I guarantee you they would respond quite differently to my postings than they would as Ben. But, I'm not interested in social experimentation. What I was reminded of is, I am Benny. Little Ben. Or at least I was at one point in time. Does that change really ? Yes I think it does and we don't get to choose. We can only react to the situation.
I do find it interesting how when I am called Benny by old friends and classmates it makes me smile. That name has a familiar ring to it. It transports me back in time. I remember that guy. He is still around just goes by a different name. That is the hope anyway. Benny was a pretty good guy. He tried hard to be a tough guy at times but was just reacting to the times. Didn't we all ? The name we use or are assigned must be viewed in the context of time and place. I expect if I were born into a wealthy and prominent family I would have been Austin. At least in 1953 I would have been. You didn't hear that name often. Today Austin's' are run of the mill. I know a couple besides myself !
The way we address each other makes a difference. When I was younger we addressed each other in a more formal manner, based on age and perceived position in society. Consider this, my Doctor was Dr. Abel and I never knew his first name. I went to school with his daughter and still didn't know that information. I don't know the first name of many of my teachers. Adults were Mr. and Mrs. always ! Saying sir or miss was everyday, never hey you or some other disrespectful greeting. Maybe it we returned to that, addressing each other with a bit more courtesy and respect we would all get along better. The reaction would be different that much I know. The name we use to address each other causes each of us to react in either a positive or negative fashion. It something we do on a subconscious level.
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