It's up to us

 A question I often ask is, what is the standard ? Everything we think or do must be compared to a standard. Without one how can we gauge our failures or successes ? When it comes to right and wrong my standard has always been the Bible. It is those standards that I compare my actions too. Do I meet all the standards required of me ? Of course I don't and no human ever will. It is good to try however. There is always room for improvement.

 I have been asked why God would allow certain things to happen in the world. He is all powerful so why doesn't he prevent bad things from happening ? Some people choose to use these things as evidence that God doesn't exist at all. I see it as evidence that he does. We only know bad as compared to good. The founding fathers of our country knew this. They knew that all humans were endowed with certain inalienable rights. Just where did those " rights " stem from ? They had to come from God. Man is not known for his benevolence toward his fellow man.  Humans have an agenda of their own. That is because our God, our creator, gave us all free will to choose the manner in which we live. We are free of interference from our God. That is not to say that we will not be held ultimately accountable for those decisions. We certainly will. It only to point out that we can freely choose between right and wrong. The society we live in will teach us ethics, and what is ethical behavior in that society, but we inherently know right from wrong. That comes from a higher power that any government here on earth.

 Bad things happen as the result of other men's actions ; the majority of the time anyway. It happens because of their choices, not God's willingness to " allow " it. Why then would God not stop it ? Well wouldn't God then have to prevent all " wrong " actions from occurring in the world ? If not, how would he pick and choose whom to help and whom not to ? He would have to compare us to a standard would he not ? Do any of us meet that standard ? No, we do not. So, there goes our free will. God does not want us to live as puppets. Instead of lamenting that God has allowed bad things to happen, man needs to abide by the standard. I offer no explanation for sickness other than it happens. We are mortal after all and will die one day. The best we can pray for is to be accepted into the next life. And that is purely a matter of faith. We shall be judged against the standard. Will any of us met that standard ? That is dependant upon belief. For the Bible does say, "for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, so that those that believe in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life." As long as we believe and sustain our faith throughout our lives here on earth, that reward is promised. It really is up to us to fulfill the will of God. God can do whatever he likes with the snap of his fingers, that is what makes him God ! Quite a simple thing really. The difficulty lies in belief.

Eccentric

 Sometimes a phrase will just pop into my head and catch my attention. One such phrase did just that yesterday. As I was sitting at my computer desk I looked at the pictures on my wall, the actual wall, not a facebook page. geez the things we have to explain nowadays, I thought I am gathering the past around me. My desk sits in the corner and both walls are covered with old photographs. Most are black and white but there is a sprinkling of color. Faces both familiar, and not, stare back at me. It is an equal mix between the living and the dead. That is my past and yours too. A mixture of what was and what is. I find the past to be far more comfortable. For the most part everything was black and white. You knew exactly what was expected and accepted ! Those that lived outside those boundaries were eccentric. It is becoming increasingly apparent that the longer you live you will become eccentric yourself ! That is to say, knocked out of the concentric circle you used to revolve in. The world changes and it can be disturbing.

 I have gathered my past around me and feel like I need to make a statement of some sort. I'm not certain what it is I want to say. I sit at this keyboard most every morning writing my thoughts about something. Sometimes I have something to say and at others I just ramble on. There are moments when I look at those pictures on the wall and realize one day I won't have a  have a voice at all. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but those words only spring from the imagination of the author. They are not the words of the pictured. Those pictures serve as inspiration and an imagining of the times that have been. Pictures capture what was, and memories are a comfort. That is so because memories do not disappoint, they are what is expected and anticipated. There really is no promise that tomorrow will be as kind.

 It is my feeling that I am the one that is centered and others are revolving around me. That is typical of humans, the world revolves around them. We all tend to believe the world revolves around us, to a point anyway. When the majority begins to circle us in a fashion we do not understand or agree with we become uncomfortable. Those around us become "eccentric" as compared to our own concentricity. It is others that are wrong. It is others that are operating outside the circle. When this begins to happen in an ever widening circle a deep unrest is created. I am feeling that unrest now. I expect the feeling will pass and a new circle will be formed. I am not inflexible but less likely to change than I was thirty years ago. My concern with the perceptions of others is less of an influence today than it was then. That is another product of age. Eccentric ? No, I haven't reached that stage at all, although I could see myself becoming so. Strange thing about being eccentric, it is acceptable if you are wealthy, not so much if you are not. But that seems to be changing as " eccentric " behavior is becoming the norm. Of course that is just my perception. 

Ethics and morals

I am of the opinion that ethics can be in conflict with morality. Where they may seem to be the same thing I believe they are not. Ethics is the behavior expected from us in society, morals are a personal choice. Morality is linked to faith and religion, ethics may or may not have such a connection. This has never been more evident than in the latest ruling by the Supreme court. Ethical conduct requires us to obey the laws of society. For some, this latest ruling is in stark contrast to their moral code. This is the reason for the separation of church and state. But although the fundamental principal is a good one, in practice, it is not viable. A government should not legislate ethical behavior in opposition to the moral majority. To be precise, the supreme court does not have that power but that action is vested in the people. At least in our Republic it is supposed to work that way. At any rate, the supreme court ruling does not change my moral code just makes a certain practice ethical in our society. The discomfort I feel, the threat, is that I may be forced to alter my morality. How ? By being forced to act in an ethical fashion ? My moral code require ethical behavior. I must obey the law. Included in this ethical behavior is the speaking out against immoral behaviors as well !
 This has already presented itself by the punishment of those not wishing to participate in the new ethics program. It is my contention my religious freedom is guaranteed under the Constitution and that religious freedom is defined within my moral code. During the Vietnam war, when I enlisted in the Navy, there were those that called themselves " Conscientious Objectors " to war and were excused from service. Their " moral code " forbid their participation. Our government certainly recognized that " moral code " as taking precedence over the "ethical requirement" to serve. Law deals with ethics, the heart deals with morality. Why then this new ethical standard has no " exemptions " for conscientious objectors ? Why then are those that object being punished and labeled as bigots ?
 The supreme court has ruled on a matter of ethics, that is all. It changes nothing in my personal life or moral code. My pursuit of virtue is unchanged. There has always been unethical and immoral behaviors in any society. Ethics are codified. Morality is defined by the society. Morality is closely tied to the religious practices of that society. There are as many definitions of moral behavior as there are religions. Ethics certainly influence the moral decisions of a society, there is no dispute about that. Man certainly has a propensity to rationalize his desires. In that way we can feel comfortable, even noble ! It is the ultimate deception. I, for one, am not being deceived. That doesn't mean I hate anyone or condemn anyone for their choices. What it does mean is I believe certain practices to be immoral ones and oppose them, the practice, not the person. I will not be deceived by any " law " trying to redefine my moral code. Just because others do it, it doesn't make it right. Legality certainly makes it a lot easier to be wrong though, I can't argue with that. 

Holding onto hope

 I was reading an article the other day about depression. It was a description of what depression is compared to just being sad. Depression is a difficult thing to understand I think, even if you may suffer from it. That " down " feeling all the time. Isn't that where the saying " pull yourself up by your own bootstraps " originated ? Just quit feeling that way and move on. That depression is a diagnosable mental illness is beyond question. As to the reasons for depression one trait was pointed out, people with depression are looking for a sense of purpose. They often spend their time searching for the meaning of life and what their purpose is. I can relate to that. I often think about those things, although  I am not clinically depressed. I guess the difference is I do not dwell upon it for very long at any one time. I have found that in some things it is best to adopt the " Que Sera, sera " attitude. You have to learn to let it go.
 I do think there is a difference between accepting what is, and just giving up. There are many things I accept but will not give up trying to change. If you just give up, resign, that means you have lost. Losing is depressing ! I may not be happy all the time, but I am not depressed. Well, okay I'm depressed, but not to a clinical state. I don't require therapy or medications to alter my thinking or feelings. That would be surrendering and I refuse to surrender. There are times to just accept the facts as presented. That doesn't mean you can't change the questions.
 When it comes to the question of purpose I do not know what my purpose is. The thing is, I don't need to know, only to do. Could I fulfill my purpose any better if I were aware of the goal ? That is the question to be answered. No, I don't believe I could or would and neither would you. The results would be tainted by the knowledge of the goal. It would be like cheating ! Our lives must be lived honestly and fairly. We are in charge of our own honesty. Fairness is a subjective state and we can not control that. Outside influences dictate fairness, but should not be allowed to affect our honesty.
 Sadness should not be met anger. Anger will not lead to a resolution, only further conflict. Unresolved conflict can lead to depression. Sadness needs to be confronted with hope. Hope is the weapon that will ultimately defeat anger and resentment. " Hope springs eternal in the human breast " (Alexander Pope) What that is saying is that hope " springs " from nowhere and is forever (eternal ). As long as we have hope that is. I must accept the current situation but can always hope for change. I may even work toward that change ! Anger is the response of the desperate.
 We live in a time of much change. Changes of a fundamental nature. That is true now and was just as true for the generations preceding our own. These changes have come about as the result of hope, not anger. It is my hope that America will one day be restored. Sadly I see her in decline. The celebrations of today may prove to be the dirge of tomorrow. I can do little but hold onto hope. 

The Finest Kind

 I have written about this in the past. I suppose it is inevitable that I will repeat myself. I will justify it by saying, there are those that have not read my past postings and so I do them a service. Sounds right to me. I was reminded of a phrase used often when I was growing up. This particular phrase is a portion of a dialect not really spoken anymore. The internet informs me it is a phrase used often by Maine lobstermen. Maybe that is where the term originated, but I doubt it. Well I'll leave that mystery to a linguist. It is one of those phrases that sums up an idea or concept into a neat little package. It may hold some different meanings for some, but the basic thought will be the same. The phrase is experiencing a small revival I believe by those wishing to preserve their heritage, their " native " tongue so to speak. It is also being used by those that wish to appear " native. "
 This was brought to mind once again by those " quality of life " advertisements and proponents on television. They like to imply that our " quality of life "can be improved by their products or services. Basically they are saying you can buy a better quality of life. I find it annoying. Just what is the message being sent ? The message is that given enough money, or free programs to provide you with certain goods or services, the quality of your life will be improved. You have a " right " to these things ! Some even imply that this " right " is in the Constitution ! Your quality of life has nothing to do with you personally, it is a matter of goods and services ! Well, by God bub, another of those old phrases I often heard, that isn't what I was taught.
 The phrase that comes to mind is " The finest Kind. " It would be used as in saying, he was the finest kind. The meaning was that the person was a good person, kind and generous. It was a grade on that person's " quality of life. " The finest kind, the finest quality. It was this that I was taught, not directly, but learned slowly over time. It was something that was just stated as fact but borne out by the actions of others. The lesson was simple enough but complex in the understanding. I put it this way, " the quality of your life is not measured by the things you do for yourself, but rather by the things you do for others. " That is what I was taught, by example. That is why all this " quality of life " stuff I hear about irritates me so. Why it is nothing more than being self centered ! The quality of my life has nothing to do with material possessions or the things I want. I'll give you another little nugget of wisdom that I was taught. The things we deny ourselves are the things that open the gates of heaven. Another simple statement, but complex in it's message and meaning. Doing the right thing is not always easy or fun but it remains the right thing. Do not try to rationalize wrong into right. The immediate results may seem favorable, but there is an eternity to be concerned with.
 The notion that " quality of life " is the same as happiness is one of those rationalizations that should be avoided. Happiness is a different state of mind altogether. True happiness stems from belief. From faith comes love. True love has no expectations, only hope. It is in that understanding that a " quality " life begins and flourishes. That is the quality of life you should be seeking. You can't purchase it. Faith, hope and love, these three and the greatest of these is love. Sound familiar ? Even the Beatles knew, money can't buy me love. 

The age of confusion

 I remember when I entered the " age of Aquarius "  now I am entering the age of confusion. Yup, it's time to apply for social security. Along with that comes medicare,medicaid or Obamacare,or whatever they are calling it now. It is all a bewildering maze of government programs and bureaucracy. It would take years of training to fully understand the system and that I believe is by design. That is how you create jobs ! At least government jobs that is. The premise is a simple one, make the system so vastly complex and interwoven with other programs that it takes a trained professional to navigate through it all. It works really well with those of retirement age because by then we are already pretty much fed up with the government in the first place ! My thinking is, I just want my money back that I already paid in, but no, I have to apply for that benefit ! Hey Jack, it's my money !
 Now take medicare. You got your part A and part B. You are automatically enrolled in part A when you file for social security, in most states,  but you can decline part B. There are others however, part D, H and I don't even know the other letters. I do know they don't go in order. And then there are supplements to medicare that aren't a part of ,medicare but assist with what medicare doesn't pay for or cover in any of the " parts " available from the government. Now this stuff is all available to the hard working taxpayer, who has paid in a minimum of forty quarters to the system. Unless of course you didn't work at all then you get it for free. Or if you are disabled at some point, then you get it free and tax free ! Oh, and it is a larger amount than if you had remained healthy and worked all your life too. That ,makes sense now doesn't it ? As I said, the age of confusion. I think I am starting to understand some of it though. The government is insisting I have health care so I can remain healthy. If I don't have health care I can be fined. Of course the fine is less than the insurance costs. But if I remain healthy because I paid for health insurance long enough to " qualify " for medicare I can then continue to pay for health insurance ( medicare ) by the government conveniently deducting the money from my social security benefits. Or, I could become disabled, for a myriad of reasons both physical and mental, and just collect social security disability, regardless of the amount I have paid in and receive free medical care too ! What a wonderful system.
 I do need to make an appointment to see the social security representative at my local office. I have been informed to be sure to bring all my documents with me, ie: birth certificate,marriage certificate etc.I need to be able to prove who I am after all. My retired identifiaction card from the U.S.Navy is certainly no proof of citizenship or eligibilty for any government program. Of course if I had a green card I would be good to go, but that is another topic.
 There are many decisions to be made here and I am confused. Trying to understand all the "choices" is certainly a challenge. There are " periods of enrollment " to be taken into consideration too. If you miss that window, too bad, out of luck until it comes around again. I'm thinking it will be easier to just go to work ! I'll retire alright, I just won't tell the boss.

doubt and distraction

 It is a habit of mine to write and post these blogs each morning. It almost borders on a compulsion. I don't think I am in need of professional help though. I use them as a time to unburden my mind. Some thoughts are serious ones and others just whimsical. This morning I Find myself distracted. I can't seem to focus on a central issue. There are several things I am thinking about. Problem being, I jump from one to another. Do any of these thoughts really matter ? Probably only to me. That is the way of it most times. It's a good thing though. If I were rich or influential in some fashion, the expression of my thoughts may be constrained. Wouldn't that be the prudent thing ? Fortunately I am free to just ramble on. It may sound self deprecating but I don't think my words have much impact.
 Yesterday I wrote about the debate going on about the Confederate battle flag. I reached a conclusion, but am not firmly fixed on that issue. The truth of it is I really don't care what they decide to do. It is probably because I am a Yankee and that symbol does not hold any deep attachments for me. It is only of a passing interest. That it is an important social issue is not lost on me. I do not think it will be a defining moment in history though. This country has enough problems that require attention. I think it is the old I can't see the forest for the trees thing. And that is becoming the distraction.
 Another question entered my mind this morning. Who will keep my memories when I am gone ? Read that question again. Who will keep my memories when I am gone ? I'm not asking who will remember me, but rather who will " keep " my memories ?  Are they one and the same ? I don't think that is necessarily so. Could it be that " memories " are the substance of deja vu ? You know when we get that feeling that we have been,seen or done something before. Is that someone else's memory ? The telling of another's stories is not the keeping of their memory. That is only remembering. It is only when we feel the presence of that person, that we make the memory come alive. Sometimes we have never met the person and that is the mysterious part.
 It is time to go about my day, my habit satisfied. I really don't feel like I had anything to say, to impart upon the world. Well, even the greatest authors were just people after all. I don't think Shakespeare went around saying soliloquies all the time. He just wrote them down  Did everything Einstein say have a deep thoughtful meaning ? Doubt that too. 

Flying the flag

 Following the tragedy of the shooting of nine innocent people in a South Carolina church the discussion has been resumed. Should the Confederate battle flag still fly on state ground ? Some are blaming this flag for this tragedy. Others point out the symbology of that flag. It is a heated debate. It was moved from atop the capitol dome to another location a while back. It is telling to note that this flag is not attached to a rope. It is fixed in some manner, I can only assume, to prevent anyone from taking to down. Many find it an offense to sensibility that it is allowed to be displayed.
 Being from the north I hadn't really given much thought to the matter. I have lived in the " south " for a number of years and have grown accustomed to seeing it. The symbology of that flag has changed over the years in my opinion. Now it is just a symbol for the " good ole boys " a false ideology. The issue lies in it's defense. Many southerners will tell you their ancestors fought under that flag and it is a symbol of honor. Their position being that they should defend that flag, just as their ancestors did. I can certainly understand that sentiment. Let's face it, it's " cool " to be a rebel ! It is that thinking that I believe contributes to the continued display of this flag.
 Is that flag really a symbol of white supremacy ? Many African Americans are taught that. That flag represents slavery to them and the fight to maintain that institution. The reality is the civil war was fought over much more than a single issue. Yes, slavery was one of those issues. The major issue was however, states rights. Since that time that flag, the battle flag, has been adopted by all manner of subversive groups. Skinheads, motorcycle gangs and other hate groups have adopted that symbol, why ? The reason is a simple one, it fosters hatred and prejudice. And let us remember that prejudice applies to all people not just African Americans. So, I feel like the real meaning of the flag has been hijacked and perverted. It has become an abomination ! I can sympathize with those of southern heritage that understand the true sentiment of that flag. It is their heritage after all. What I believe they are missing is that that flag was the Battle flag ! It was never the national flag of the confederacy. The Confederate States of America had their own flag, three different ones in fact. It is my thinking that perhaps the original national flag of the Confederate States of America should replace that battle flag in a place of honor. The battle flag should be relegated to a museum, and put to rest. It is unfortunate that a flag should become a symbol of hate and intolerance. This flag isn't the first. Consider the Nazi swastika, a symbol despised and hated by those all over the world. Instantly recognizable as a symbol of oppression. Yes the crimes of the Nazi's are not a fair comparison but I use it only to create a point. The confederate battle flag stirs what emotion in the majority when displayed ?
 Why should you or I care ? This flag did not cause that shooting. The warped logic and hateful rhetoric of others did that. What thoughts come to mind when you see that flag displayed ? Whether justified or not I feel that whoever displays that flag, whether it is on a flagpole, a jacket or the bumper of a pick up truck does so for only one reason. To make a statement. The statement is not, I support the cause of the southern states of america in the late rebellion. I support the continued preservation of the individual states to govern themselves. No, that isn't what the message is. As to whether the person displaying that flag understands all of that is questionable. Could be that that person just adopted a symbol because it was " cool " to do so and Daddy said I should. I wonder how many of those so called " patriots " of the south would even recognize the real national flag of the south ?

                                                                             

The first flag adopted by the confederate states known as the Stars and Bars. 

moments shared

 Yesterday morning after posting a short video to Facebook this thought came to me, " freedom comes in moments. " I quickly wrote a short " quote " containing that thought as I felt it relevant to the video. I continued to think about just what meaning I was trying to convey. I was talking about " freedom " but just what is freedom ? The  freedom I was thinking about is to be free of worry,doubt,sickness and all the other things that make up our lives. That is why I say, freedom comes in moments. That is to say, brief moments in time when we experience that true freedom that our God intended for us. It is only sustainable on this mortal plane for brief moments in time. Then the real world intrudes upon that freedom. Responsibility and duty interfere. Others disturb our " freedom. " True freedom is enjoyed only when unencumbered by outside influences. They are the moments we share with the angels. It is those moments that give us a glimpse of heaven. All our friends and relatives are there, we enjoy them in memory. They are well and happy and speak to us. Treasure those moments. Carry those moments in your heart and mind.
 I wrote a " quote " saying that happiness comes with freedom and freedom comes in moments. Happiness too, only comes in moments. We can not expect to be happy all the time. We must learn to live outside the happiness, outside true freedom. Those glimpses into heaven are our inspiration and should be embraced. Carrying those memories with you to use as armor against sadness will make the journey easier. Seeing the final destination is a comfort. We must learn patience.
 I began yesterday morning by sitting on the porch. I was just sipping my coffee and listening to the sounds of the early morning. It had rained in the pre-dawn hours and I could hear the drops of rain running off the roof. The birds were chirping their early morning songs and even an owl was heard to hoot. My wife wished me a happy fathers day and I thought of my own Dad in heaven. No cars came down the road, nothing to disturb nature. It was then I felt freedom, true freedom and it only lasted a moment. Then life on earth returned, not as a crashing realization but rather as a subtle reminder. It was then I believe the thought was formed, "freedom comes in moments." That was one of those moments.
 I believe it takes age and wisdom to understand those moments. They are a gift. As we age we should collect those moments, those moments that inform. There is much to be learned from them, the least being life doesn't end with this world. We will continue the journey. That knowledge is the hope of the future and we should be encouraged. We enter this world in a moment and leave it just as quickly, our lives but a brief moment in time. But freedom, true freedom is obtainable through faith. Faith and a visit from the angels. Freedom isn't earned, it is a gift. Learn to accept that gift with grace and dignity, without making demands. Those moments of pure freedom are just incentives along the highway, refreshment for the travel weary. Savor them.

The truth of the matter

 You know what I hate ? Being outside the inside jokes. But, it is more than that. I hate being on the outside altogether. It happens every once in a while. You are with friends, maybe even a relative or someone that you haven't been with in some time. Everything is going along just splendidly when another arrives. Now this other person has been with this friend or relative fairly recently, at least more recently than you have been. They start to laugh and joke about things that you have no clue about. What is worse, they start to converse with each other and exclude you altogether, like you weren't even there ! You are left, bewildered. What just happened here ? I'm not sure, but I know I don't like it. No sir, not one bit ! The conversation continues and I start to feel something more, something even worse;contempt. Yes, contempt, those strong feelings of disdain. That feeling that they are somehow inferior to you. I hate that feeling, yet I experience that feeling. What to do about it ?
 You know what else I hate ? I hate those that spend an inordinate amount of time time talking to their pets. Like they are going to answer ! The conversation stops as they address their dog or cat or whatever. Then everyone waits for a response which is not going to be forthcoming because you know, they are a dog ! Drives me crazy. It is especially annoying when the animal can't even perform a cute trick. What is the amusement ? Nothing that I can discern. Why do people do that ? Are they really that dense that they can't think of a single thing to say, so they ask the dog ? The dog isn't going to answer !! It is just such an uncomfortable feeling for me, but apparently, not for them. Am I missing something here ?
 Now I'm quite certain I do certain things, or say certain things that drive those around me crazy. That is what is called personality. Personality isn't something that we work at, it just is. Sometimes it is good and sometimes it is bad. We should be aware of " quirks " in our personality though. I try to be aware but am equally as certain I miss quite a bit. No one wants to hear the negative. Truth is negatives can be positives so who is to know ? It s a guessing game, There are however certain indicators that we can make ourselves aware of. The first one being a lack of response from those around you. Indifference. I hate that too ! If I am telling you something it is because I attach some importance to it. I expect some feedback. If I, or you state something and it meets with no response whatsoever: indifference, I should immediately become aware. There are those that don't and continue on. Don't do it.
 The second thing we should be aware of is listening. We need to listen to the response before responding again. This is the one I am most guilty of violating, failure to listen. I tend to go on explaining my thoughts and views without giving others the proper listening to that I should. My mind is made up before I speak. I shouldn't do that. The dismissal of others thoughts is a bad habit. I hate it when others do not listen to me.
 This blog is one of the few where I am showing my " dark " side. We all have them and try not to allow them to be exposed. They sneak out though when people are around us for any length of time. In the corners there are secrets. The things we really despise or just plain dislike. Others seem to like these things and so I try to refrain from comment, doesn't always work though. There are times when strong emotions are aroused. That is when the secrets pop out. Then the name calling begins, either directly or behind your back. I try not to listen. It isn't easy.
 The truth of the matter is simple. I'm right and everyone else needs to fall in line. Isn't that the way of it ? How can others do and say such simple minded or arrogant things ! I never do that. I am left wondering a great deal of the time. Just what are others thinking ? How can you arrive at such conclusions ? Just how did the world view get so distorted in their minds ? It is beyond my comprehension. Those are some of the secret thoughts I have, I bet you do too.
 I have thought I would like to be the personality that I am on Facebook. I know that I am not really that person and most of the time I only show the best side of me. The thing is we all tend to react in a manner expected of us in a social situation. It is only when we introduce alcohol or drugs into the mix that we may wander outside of the boundaries. Restraint is not exercised and bad things happen. Well that is pretty much the way things go I believe. This my collection of random thoughts for this Father's' day morning. Although my own Dad left this earth twenty five years ago he walks with me still. I can always share my secrets with him, truth is, he taught me a few of them himself.

Coming to grips

 Coming to grips. That is an expression I heard growing up. When someone didn't understand why something happened and was distraught, they were coming to grips. I turned on the television to see the news report about that terrible shooting in the church. Nine innocent people killed. And now the nation needs to come to grips with that. I have heard the expected rhetoric about racism and gun control. It's true that this white boy wanted to kill black people, it's true he used a gun. It's true that this tragedy may not have occurred if neither of those existed, but they do. Why do people hate and kill one another ? There is no answer for that question and that is what we try to come to grips with.
 Extreme sadness, frustration, anger and a sense of urgency are all rolled up into one in these situations. How to deal with them all simultaneously is the problem. Prayer has traditionally been the response. We pray for the lives lost, the lives affected and we pray for the person that committed the act. We strive to let it go. The burden is too heavy to carry alone for very long and so we must share. We need to have these discussions. Just what is to be done to prevent this from happening again ? Can we prevent it ? Sadly the answer is no, we can not. Cain used a rock to kill Abel. Man's aggression against man can not be stopped. We are faced with the age old question, why ? Why did this person do that and could we have stopped it somehow ? We can not understand the rationalizations of a mad man nor could we stop him. Consider that we say, mad man. What does that imply ? We may think it implies mental illness and it does. But I believe the term is just a description. This person was mad, really mad. We have all been "mad" and done irrational things. Maybe you broke your favorite toy or said some things in anger. Then you are sorry, I was " mad. " You can't stop someone from getting mad. Mad is usually a temporary thing. But when someone does something this horrific because they are " mad " we don't understand it. And the truth is we shouldn't, if their actions begin to make sense to you, you need to examine your own mind. But how to come to grips with that ? What do you do when you have been mad ? How do you come to grips with that ? Most of us will become contrite and apologize. I'm sorry, I was just mad. It is just that madness comes in degrees and the magnitude of this madness is beyond our comprehension. We can't come to grips with it right away. Time will help with this pain.
 The fact is we will never come to grips with this sort of thing. The only answer is to let it slip away. We must let go. We must move on. It is a difficult thing to do when fixated on a tragedy. The desire is to fix it. It can't be done. Death is final and cannot be undone. The circumstances of the death make no difference in its finality. We have all been robbed and cheated in this latest display of madness. There are no answers, only questions. We must guard against our own " madness " no matter how justified our anger may be. It is a very fine distinction between " madness " and anger, very fine indeed.

What miracles await

 I began to notice these little advertisements below the stories. You know the stories that show up on your feed that you have to click on to open. As I glanced at them it came to me, these are the same ads you would find on the back of comic books ! They cover everything from muscle building to gaining x-ray vision ! Of course some of them are a little risque for the comic books, but in today's' world I can't be certain about that. It has been quite a number of years since I bought a comic book and I wonder if those ads are still there ? Mostly I remember sea monkeys, x-ray glasses and ads to sell Grit magazine and earn a bicycle.
 I couldn't help but start to wonder about all of this. Just why do the greatest scientific achievements first appear on the back of comics and now spam on the internet ? Is it because all the money that was spent on research left nothing for reporting ? I've seen ads to make belly fat just disappear. Take a pill, that the Doctors and weight loss clinics don't want you to know about, and just like that, six pack abs ! I can learn any language I want in a matter of days. Hey, this is the program the government uses so you know it is effective and cost efficient. And those are only a few examples of the miracles that await. And they are miracles, it even says so in the advertisement. Shoot I can even become a Minister and create my own miracles if I want too, legal in all fifty states.
 There are other things there that don't require you to buy anything, they are completely free, only pay shipping and handling. I've often thought that seems reasonable enough but those handlers must make good wages because the shipping isn't that much. Funny, I've never seen a job offering for that position though. These days you can get some stuff as a free download. Just put it on your computer and enjoy. You can opt out at anytime. No commitment necessary. Your satisfaction is guaranteed ! I love that. No need for a lawyer, I can do my own will and some other legal work completely free. Well you do have to buy the download for those because, after all, it took a real lawyer to prepare those forms. That's understandable.
 You know I am glad the government stepped in and prevented the further spread of those x-ray glasses. They were being sold in the sixties before we really understood the dangers, thank goodness Uncle Sam interveined. I'm thinking the government may have done something with those drinking birds too. You know the ones, You just put them in front of a glass of water and they keep drinking it. Up and down, up and down. Free energy ! Almost perpetual motion. They must have put them on the shelf alongside the carburetor that made your car get two hundred miles to the gallon. I wonder what the danger is ?
 Now that I am thinking about it, I wonder why the mainstream news never catches any of those stories like the Enquirer does ? They never seem to have the inside scoop. Extra, seems to come the closest to gathering those stories. The Enquirer has known about visiting aliens for decades but not CBS or ABC. I wonder why that is ? Well, no matter we have the internet now, all the truth is on there. I can just check a few websites and have the information I want. I'll always be grateful to Al Gore for inventing the internet.
 I gotta go now and check the ads. You never know what breakthrough in science or technology may have occurred. Maybe I can finally get that GYROCOPTER ! Just fly to work and back, now how cool is that ? Door to door sales have declined over the years so I don't think I can sell Grit or Boy's Life magazine anymore. There must be a way to earn that new bicycle though or a video game set. Maybe one of those I phones ! You never know what miracles await.

A better choice

 You often hear of how unique and special each of us are. Others say these things to make us feel better. We are told to celebrate our individuality. I understand and appreciate the sentiment. The thing is, I consider myself the common man. Just your typical garden variety man. My words are the words of the common man and I use common logic in choosing them. I believe my opinions are those commonly shared in the American society. It is this commonality that is my contribution to the society. Put that way it doesn't sound very exciting, and it's not. Not much to celebrate. But, it is that commonality that is the essential ingredient in the society. Gotta have flour to make a cake ! It is the majority component, other things add flavor and color.
 To be uncommon is to be different. We are told we should be different. Independant is the word often applied to this. Think for yourself and act on your feelings. Do not just go along with the crowd, be a leader. Truth is there can only be one leader, all others must follow. That is why we have Generals in the army. Each of us can not be that general. We think that because we are not the general we are subservient. We are ! It is that simple. You may not like it, but it is the truth. I am just a foot soldier in this society. I have no wealth and power. What I do have is a voice and the freedom to use it. It is one of a few possessions that the common man has at his disposal. Freedom of speech. It is also the most abused and misunderstood tools of the common man. It is a tool like any other that must be used properly to be effective. Freedom of speech is not a weapon of mass destruction to be utilized whenever you feel threatened. Freedom of speech needs to be carefully applied to be effective. That is what the great speeches are about. Dr. King and his, I have a Dream and Abraham Lincoln at Gettysburg. Those are examples of freedom of speech. Both were words of the common man. Both expressed what the common man was thinking.
 But I got off the track a bit here. What I was thinking about was how it takes us all to be a society. A society is not a bunch of individuals, a society is a group, or nation with a common goal. The clear definition of the goal is key to the accomplishment of that goal. Can't do what you don't know needs to be done. Yes we are each different in our individual way. I'm not saying that you should should blindly conform to society. What I am saying is you need to participate in achieving the goal of that society. You can't just, do your own thing. Tried that back in the sixties and it didn't work then, won't work now. It is the common man that makes the society. I know the monied elite and politicians make the laws: not, it is the common man that decides that. We are the majority. We should be defining what we want our society to be, not allowing the minority to decide that. They are allowed to do that only because of our defining of that society. The Big question here is, what is the goal of this society ? Is it to just get all the creature comforts that we can amass ? Is it to become the most technologically advanced nation ? Or is it to provide for future generations ? Just what is the goal ?
The goal is and always has been a simple one. To live free.
 In the beginning we did live free. Then man developed the concept of money. Things weren't free anymore. But, what things ? It is only the things we wanted that cost. All the trappings of life. Things we can buy instead of working for them. Then we started working for money. We created societies to quell the chaos. Nations formed with common goals. Those goals, to live freely according to their traditions. Wars have been fought over that since Biblical times. We are seeing that take place today. Has the goal changed ? Are we now just trying to be the society with the most money ? Why can't we live free ? The answer is simple. We didn't listen to the general. Who is that General ? God.
 There, that is my sermon for today. Now we have to figure out how to best continue. Despite arguments to the contrary I believe our society, our nation, was founded on Christian principles. If we want to get the nation back on track we need to do one thing, listen to the General ! You can't expect a successful campaign without someone to lead. I can't think of a better choice. 

Culture or Cosplay

 With the resignation of Rachel Dolezal, the caucasian woman that identifies as African-American, another discussion has begun. Do we get to choose our race as well as our gender ? Apparently there are some who think so. I have heard proponents and opponents of this concept. Both sides agree that you cannot choose your ethnicity. That's just absurd but the conversation revolves around the idea of " identifying " with a specific group. Bruce Jenner identifies with being a woman. His choice. Does that then make him a woman ? You answer that for yourself I have expressed my opinion in a previous posting. What I am concerned with here is with this concept of identifying. In this case of the white lady identifying as a black woman. She says she has adopted the African-American culture. She feels by adhering to the " rules " of African American culture that makes her African American. Interesting idea to say the least. And it is that discussion that interests me. She claims to have been discriminated against. In fact she filed a lawsuit to that effect against a college she was attending. In that suit she claimed she was white and felt discrimination from the black community. She was attending a predominately black college at the time. But she was identifying herself as black ! The best of both worlds ?
 There has been many social changes in the last few years that has drawn my attention and the attention of the nation as a whole. There is the whole Gay marriage thing, the recent transgender discussion and now this. Each one making arguments for the acceptance of these behaviors. Whether you agree with that is not the point. The point is, it is all about " culture. " And just what is culture. The definition is, the customs,arts,social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people or social group. The proposed changes  would certainly change our culture ! The defining of a nation is dependant upon its culture. The citizens of that culture should conform to that culture. And that is what is the issue in all of this.
 At one time America was called the great melting pot. Why was that ? Simply put because the citizens or potential citizens adopted the culture of the society. They did not seek to impose their culture upon the society. Big difference.
 Back to the issue I began with. This white woman adopting the black culture. Many are supporting this using the argument she identifies as such. My first question is, just what is the black culture ? Just about any description I could offer would immediately be labeled as racist. Ask an African American the same question about the white culture. You will probably be offended. My problem with this is I have heard no one say, what about identifying as an American. What about the American culture ? Is that an antiquated idea ? We read about and are taught the founding fathers establishing a nation. A new nation, a new culture. But where has that gone ? Now it seems the country is divided into hundreds of sub cultures each vying for supremacy. We hear talk of Patriotism. What is that ? A love of country ? Yes, but it is the adoption of a culture and an identity.
 It is my belief that we need to set aside the petty differences and have a serious discussion about America. What is America and what is the American culture ? I identify myself as an American, always have, and always will. Self sufficient and proud. I'm not a hyphenated version of anything ! I know my gender from birth and my ethnicity the same way. To identify anyway else is just a sham,a lie. It is a mental health issue, not a cultural one. Unless, of course, the culture is you are whatever you identify yourself to be ! Isn't that called COSPLAY ?

1. Cosplay | Define Cosplay at Dictionary.com

   dictionary.reference.com/browse/cosplay?s=tCached

   noun 1. the art or practice of wearing costumes to portray characters from fiction, especially from manga, animation, and science fiction. 2. a skit featuring these 
2. 
   
3. ...

Included this for those that may not be familiar with the term. I recently learned about this myself.  

Fluidity

 The actress Susan Sarandon speaking on the Oprah Winfrey show said she is excited about the " fluidity of gender " taking place in America. I saw that reported and it struck a note with me. Fluidity of Gender ? Just what does that mean ? I had to ask myself a question, are we born a certain way, or are we what we choose to become ? Life is certainly a fluid state, that can't be denied, but what of gender ? Do we get to choose our gender ? I don't think so, I believe that is a product of birth. That then leaves only the question of our soul. It is our soul that makes us human after all. But just what is the soul ? That is a question that has been pondered over since man started pondering. The first question to be answered there is, where does that soul come from ? Is it merely a product of our environment, or is it an integral part of us when born ? In answering that, faith becomes the topic.

 Setting aside the religious aspects we have to ask ourselves this question. Should I act upon every impulse I have ? That is to say, are all my impulses correct ? You would have to say no. There are many behaviors that may be detrimental to your well being that you should ignore. Most of these types of behaviors cause us physical pain and so we learn the lesson quickly. What of other behaviors ? We often try to justify those behaviors with irrational logic. If it isn't hurting anyone else, it is alright. Sounds good doesn't it ? The logic is flawed in that wrong actions do not become right actions simply because they do not hurt anyone else. They are still harmful to you ! Wrong is wrong. 

 Now suppose we do adopt this philosophy of " fluidity of gender. " Would that not then change the substance of our soul ? The soul as a fluid object ? The soul is the keeper of our morals and ethics is it not ? Are they too to become fluid ? An ever changing, ever evolving set of ethical standards ? Will not society become destabilized ? It certainly seems so to me. It we place the order of things in a fluid state where will stability come from ? Certainly we will not be able to turn to our traditional ideas of God. The Bible becomes nothing more than a interesting novel. Now our religious values are also placed in a fluid state. What to embrace ? What is the constant ? 

 Now being a man of faith I believe in God. I believe there is a plan and that I will fulfill that plan. Whether I realize it or not, that will happen. The issue is often one of reconciling that belief ( fulfilling the plan ) with the concept of free will. I can choose which direction to go. On the surface of that one would think that no matter what you choose  the plan is fulfilled because God makes the plans. I have heard this argument before and it is a difficult one to refute. The logic seems sound enough. The answer is simple, the plan will be fulfilled no matter what I do. Then the question is, why should I do right ? What is right ? Is there right and wrong ? How to decide what is right and wrong ? So many questions. We are back to a fluid state. A new beginning ? A " fluidity " of gender or is it a " fluidity " of the soul ? 

Passionate

 I began to think about enthusiasm. I mean just how enthusiastic some people are about whatever. Further though I mean the ones that appear as being over the top. You know the type, just a little too much. Well some would call that being passionate. That is a term we hear often enough, passion. Interestingly enough the word passion comes from the Greek word meaning " to suffer. " The online dictionary I used for reference didn't say who was suffering though. Ha, a little humor there. But I did find it interesting that definition. Passion , the word and it's meaning has certainly changed over the years or centuries. Now it is more a feeling of intense emotions not necessarily related to suffering.
 In many cases we are told to be passionate about our likes and desires. We describe the commitment one makes to their art or occupation as being passionate. We are led to believe that we must be passionate in order to succeed. But, at what point is passion exceeded ? Can it be exceeded, an excessive amount of passion ?  Not to the one being passionate I suppose but certainly to others. Passion only flourishes when it is attractive to others. That is true in all cases of passion. Excessive passion takes on a different name, many names in fact. Obsession leads the pack followed closely by overbearing, insufferable and just plain annoying. So how do we guard against this ? How do we find that balance between passion and excess ?
 This is a balance I have often wondered about. Just at what point does passion become obsession ? I'm thinking when that passion becomes a hindrance to others that is an obssession. We could use the old argument that as long it is not hurting anyone else it is okay. That logic is flawed however, just because something causes no harm to others, that doesn't make it right. Even " rights " can be abused. Free speech is abused in this country everyday, doesn't make it right. So how am I to know when my passion is getting out of control ? I will go back to my original thought on this, Passion only flourishes when it is attractive to others. So, just what is that saying ? Your passion for a subject will be accepted only as long as others remain interested. That, I think, is the key here, others remaining interested. When you start to feel the attitude, I really don't care, that is when you begin to cross the line between passion and obsession. Passion is for others and obsession is for yourself. Going back to the Greek meaning " to suffer " passion could then mean to just keep it to yourself, to suffer in silence. In other words don't become obsessed with any one thing. Not even a good thing ! To those that are not interested, not receptive to your passion, it is just annoying.
 That leads me to a final question. What of those that just don't see that line ? I mean the ones that are genuine in their passion but are just annoying ? Whether they are a car salesman or a missionary if the person they are addressing isn't interested, it is annoying ! How do I know if I am one of them ? Would anyone tell me ? I expect the people that love and care for me would not, I certainly wouldn't say anything to curb their enthusiasm about their genuine passions. Maybe the Greeks were onto something there with their meaning of passion, " to suffer. " Maybe they did mean I should suffer, not for my own passions, but for yours. That would change the whole discussion now wouldn't it ? 

time gone by

 Yesterday afternoon and evening was my granddaughters dance recital. We attended both shows, of course. It was a long day of " culture " and refinement for this old boy. It is with amazement that you see your granddaughter mature before your very eyes. I watched her in her very first dance recital, she danced to " I'm a little tea pot " and " how much is that doggy in the window " now she is dancing a Beatles classic. The image is different when on stage. I mean I see her almost every day and just love her as my granddaughter. Just a little girl, but not so much that way on stage. It is like watching a butterfly emerge from it's cocoon. There are moments when I'm bursting with pride and others when I feel sorrow, the sorrow of time gone by. But that time is in contrast to the hope for the future. The future holds a bright and talented young lady, I can see that clearly and that is the source of my pride. Bittersweet is the only word that adequately describes my feelings.
 I remember well taking her first ballet slippers and putting them in a shadow box. I included a picture of her and a flower. How many dances since then ? I can't say a number, but can recall each performance. How far she has traveled in the quest to dance. Now she does her own hair and makeup, an indicator of maturity. She is growing as she should and it is too fast. The little ballerina has been replaced on the stage but that ballerina exists in my heart. I see that dancer in her eyes and in her smile. She very well may be daddys' little girl but she is grandpa's ballerina !

Words of inspiration

 Having posted to this blog a total of one thousand seven hundred and seventeen times I sometimes wonder, have I ever said anything profound ? That is the goal of any writer I think, unless the goal is solely to entertain. I began writing these postings as an entertainment for myself. It was an indulgence with the hope that others would enjoy them. Of course I sought approval and acceptance. I still do. That is a normal thing and nothing to be ashamed of. I did think that these postings would serve as a record. A record of my thoughts and opinions. I still believe they may be of interest to future generations of Reicharts. It is in that interest that I wonder about the quality of my statements. Just what will those future Reicharts think ? Certainly some of the issues I expound upon will seem funny to them. That will be a function of history. The topics I wonder about however are the basic principles I often refer too.
 It appears to me that each generation allows more exceptions to the rules. Each generation is more liberal than the last. I only have three generations of first person accounts to measure this with but history provides insight as well. It is this first person account of history that I hope to be recording in these blogs. I am aware that this " first " person may not be in agreement with everyone else's opinion. It is my feeling that the " rules " don't really change, only circumstance. With each new circumstance the rule is either applied, or an exception made. Exceptions are often mislabeled as " forgiveness " or " enlightenment." It is these exceptions however that may lead us all astray. The real issue is , what is the common goal ? Just what is the purpose of mankind ? That elemental question that has never been answered and never will be, We ask ourselves that same question, what is our purpose here ?
 Does everything have a purpose is another question. The response has to be, yes. If the answer is no, what is the point ? Is there a point to life ? We certainly all feel a need to be of value and serve a valuable purpose. Even the hardest criminals value there own life, if not the lives of others. Indeed the taking of our own life is viewed as a sickness caused by mental illness. We must be here for a reason ! But I have wandered off the path I started on. I was wondering if anything I have written is profound in any way. Will anything I have written affect someone in the future as it applies to their life ? That is a high expectation, I know. Might as well reach for the stars. I have thought of compiling a " condensed " version of my writings. The problem there is in choosing which writings to include. I can not know what words may be of value to another. Words of inspiration often come from nowhere. They may arrive in the lyrics of a song or in an advertisement for a product, one never knows. From the mouth of babes, the saying goes. Words of truth and insight may arrive the same way. We may seek knowledge and not find it, or just stumble blindly upon it. If it is there at all I don't know where it may be hiding.
 Well these are some rather deep thoughts and I will set them aside for today. Today my granddaughter Morgan is having her dance recital and I must get ready. They have been preparing all year for this recital and the excitement is high. Before the day is over we will experience all the emotions, drama, anticipation, nerves, and frustration. But in the end it will culminate in joy ! There is a gray cloud however that can not be avoided. Mark, my grandson, will be playing his last soccer game for the Caroline County Youth Soccer Association today as well. I can't be in two places at once. Mark, in his magnanimous way told Grandma and I to go to the recital, that he understands. I applaud his maturity. I will be thinking about him. He enters high school next year and so is too old for the youth soccer league next season. Hoping to see him compete at the high school level. Another milepost looms large on the horizon as the youth league fades into the past. 

take a closer look

  It is the validation of our values that brings us happiness. That thought or statement came to mind this morning. It arrived as a single thought ,without explanation. Thinking about that I was led to wondering, just what are my core values ? That is to say, what do I value the most ? But it isn't that simple a question and requires a great deal of thought and introspection. In regards to happiness what values require validation ? Another aspect in all of this is, validation requires renewal, but the frequency of validation varies with each individual. Is validation the quest or the destination ?
 It is these questions that occupy my thoughts this morning. It is making it difficult to write a coherent paragraph. That is because I don't know just what it is I am trying to say here. It has been pointed out to me that I can become a bit preachy. I get that and won't disagree although I call it by a different name. I refer to it as offering insight. It is what I see " inside " the topic, that is, after all what insight means. So when I say, it is the validation of our values that brings us happiness, that is offered as insight. The proverbial " light bulb " was turned on. We may think that when that light comes on we "see" the concept or idea. The turning on of the light is an invitation to examine however, and not the final answer. Just what is being seen in my statement ? The initial analysis is not one I like. Isn't it saying that happiness stems from having people approve of you ? Receiving praise,awards, or monetary compensation can all be forms of validation. Aren't we taught that we should not seek these things ? What is the reason for that ? That is because we are taught the best kind of happiness comes from helping others. That is the moral high ground. To tread upon lower ground is not noble. The sacrifice of ourselves, our wants and needs is the ideal. To seek validation for yourself is a selfish act. Yet the statement remains, it is the validation of our values that brings us happiness. How to reconcile that premise with reality ? That is the purpose of faith. Faith is the validation of the unseen. In the book of Hebrews it is stated, " Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. " If our faith is strong enough, happiness follows.
 Can you then say, unhappiness is a lack of faith ? It would certainly seem so based on what I have written so far. The strength of our faith is tested every day. That may be the reason for those good days and bad. The good days are when our strength of faith is greatest. Conversely, bad days our faith is weaker. We are happy on the good days and sad on the bad. Faith and happiness are intertwined. It is our faith that is the most valuable. When our faith is validated, by the good things in life, we are happy. All that remains is to strengthen that faith.
 That is a quick synopsis of my thoughts this morning. It is something I will spend quite a bit more time exploring. The light has been turned on. Sometimes the light just shows us what we already know. There are times when we just need to take a closer look.

Near as I can tell

 I haven't said much about this subject, just a post or two. I'm not real sure just how I feel about it all. Here's the thing, near as I can tell Bruce Jenner was born with a male body. I do remember him being an olympic champion. If memory serves he was on a Wheaties box. Now he says he was a woman the whole time. If that was so what was he doing competing against the men ? Near as I can tell it is because he was a man. Of course I don't know what was in his mind so I can't speak to that issue much. I can only suppose he felt like he would rather be a woman. Guess that is why he got married and fathered children, that is what women do, right ? Near as I can tell, he would rather have done the birthing part though. Good thing he didn't change the equipment till he was 65 or so. Men couldn't take that pain from all I have been told about it. At least, near as I can tell that is. Guess he got to skip menopause too. Funny word that one, menopause. He ain't just pausing men, he is skipping them altogether ! In all fairness though women do need a pause from men once in a while, it is a part of the biological process of life. It does affect the mental part that can't be denied. Near as I tell that is what happened to Bruce ! He just started real early ! Man those hormones are something else.
 Whatever choices this man has made in life, and he is a man, they were his to make. Obviously he hasn't considered the effect it has had on others. Near as I can tell, he really doesn't care. Given the family he created and the folks he associates with it is not surprising. Wealth and fame can distort one's view of things. You can start to believe that whatever you do is just fine. Near as I can tell he is right proud of himself. He doesn't seem to shy away from putting himself in the spotlight. For such a personal decision he sure is making it public ! Near as I can tell, he is seeking the spotlight. The man likes attention. Could it be that because he could no longer be the olympic hero he found another way ? I'm no shrink but it is a possibility. I can understand that but it does seem a bit extreme. Courageous ? I don't think so. Self centered and vain may be a more apt description. Now I am not saying it was an easy decision to make, he had to think about it, but I believe he was using flawed logic. Just because you feel a certain way does not mean you should be that way. I may feel like I should have more money but that doesn't mean I should rob the bank. There is an old saying that holds much truth, we all have a cross to bear. Perhaps his was feeling like a woman. Perhaps some mental health counseling would have been more beneficial. But, near as I can tell, nowadays we just say whatever you choose is alright. To say otherwise is to be a hater ! Morality is completely subjective using that logic.
 As far as the whole, " I was born this way" argument goes I can't deny that. I don't know how the guy felt or feels. I do know that just because certain behaviors are apparently inherent to a person does not justify them. Consider serial rapists or murderers, what about cleptomaniacs and pedophiles ? Are they also to be excused and labeled as " heroes " if they modify their looks or behaviors ? I can only say that I feel each of us are born with a soul. That soul comes from God. He doesn't make mistakes. If you start to question that premise the whole thing begins to fall apart. God asks us to follow the path he has shown us. He doesn't want us to just make our own. My belief, my opinion.
 I will say this much. He will be judged, Not by me or you or whoever, but by only one. I can not profess to know what that judgement will be. I only know what my feelings are in that regard. It troubles me in only as much as the example being set. The rich and famous can be a large influence. It is a responsibility on their part whether they want it or not. His example is not a good one. Near as I can tell he is a man that now dresses as a woman. Near as I can tell, he has altered his physical appearance. Near as I can tell, he now wants me to think of him as a woman and call him by another name. Well all I can say is, he is Bruce Jenner, was born that way and he can't change that. There are no do overs in life. In my opinion he has made a decision he will regret, perhaps not in life, but certainly in death. That is my opinion. As near as I can tell he is one confused puppy. His circus will leave town in a little while and the show will be over. Nothing more to see here. let's move on. 

School years

 The school year is drawing to a close. For my grandson Mark he will be exiting middle school and entering the ranks of the " high schoolers. " Ever wonder why we call it high school ? I expect it comes from years past when a education past the eighth grade was higher education ! Back a couple of generations boys would be leaving school to work on the farms and in the factories. I can see that, they are becoming young men at this point. In society today we do not expect as much maturity at this age as we did in years past. The ironic part of that is we teach much more " mature " subjects. We encourage the young men and women to openly discuss topics  that were ,shall we say, backroom topics not so many years ago. For you grandparents out there all you need do is compare your curriculum and subject matter to what is taught today.
 At Lockerman middle school, were Mark attends, an end of year project involved presenting an current issue in a powerpoint presentation. The students must research and write a presentation explaining the issue and their findings. It is quite a big deal. Last night we all went to watch his presentation. Mark's chosen topic was Gun Control. His position is that we have the right to have guns and that they can be beneficial. He began by sighting the second amendment but not dwelling on it. Mark is a good speaker and quite comfortable in front of an audience. I can see him in a boardroom or as a public speaker of some type. He projects confidence in his speech and his material. It is possible that a small amount of bias may be presented here but I do think he did an outstanding job. What is especially impressive to me is that he choose this subject on it's on merits. Mark does not hunt or have any particular interest in guns at all. His father does not own guns and has pretty much the opposite opinion regarding gun control. I don't own guns and seldom speak of them, although I am with Mark in my opinion. The fact that he would support something that he really has no direct vested interest in shows me maturity. He is aware of the issues and takes a measured approach to them.
 I did enjoy his presentation and those of the other young people. It is an eye opener to listen to them. The topics were varied and some controversial. I will say this, it wasn't stuff I was thinking about in the eighth grade. I know quite a few of the kids from soccer and dance. It is something to see them grow. The future looks bright. I can see Mark leading the way. Now on to high school and starting at the bottom of the pack again. High school is a different environment for sure but I believe Mark will be a leader there as well. He is not easily swayed from his opinions. His opinions are usually based in fact and he will cite the reference. That is what makes it hard to refute. The next few years are crucial ones. I'm confident that Mark will do just fine.

This is Marks' presentation should you wish to listen.

reshuffling the deck

 I've heard it said that a cluttered desk is the sign of a busy mind. Looking at my own desk I would have to agree, it is pretty cluttered. The desk that is. Mostly it is cluttered with things I am not finished with yet. Old cards, books, scraps of paper with notes written on them, all kinds of stuff. But that is the problem, finishing up a project. Almost everything I do is a work in process and rarely do I feel as though it is completed. I do reach the point of " good enough ". That is when I set it aside and plan to do more at a later date. Sometimes I am finished with a particular thing, but plan to use it in a larger project, so it remains out and available. There is stuff on my desk that has been waiting for a very long time.
 There is another old saying, out of sight out of mind. That one isn't always correct because most of this stuff on my desk is in plain sight and it is still out of my mind, or I am. That is another topic altogether. It may appear messy to some, especially the wife, but I have a method. I put it where it is most convenient for retrieval when inspiration strikes. You know, when you get in the zone. Although I will admit that at times that same system can get me sidetracked. I sometimes see a different road sign while retrieving what I want. That sends me off in another direction entirely. Well no system is perfect.
 As I sat down this morning to compose this blog I found my mind a little empty. That happens every now and again. I looked around my desk for a minute but nothing. I began thinking about the news, not much to write about there. The news can be depressing. The kids get out of school next Tuesday, where did this school year go ? Mark, my grandson, will go to high school in the fall, that is a little depressing only because of what it indicates. I don't want to think about that this morning. We are almost half way through June ! Next month I'll be 62 ! I had best start finishing up some of these projects. That is what came to mind as I looked at my desk. I do have a busy mind and I believe that is a good thing. Grandma always said, it's' best to stay busy. The old folks sure have some good wisdom. Keep yourself occupied and you won't get bored with life. So judging by the looks of my desk, and that old saying, I'm good to go. This desk may look cluttered but do not be deceived, it is actually a lifeline ! It is a symbol of a vibrant mind, one capable of just about anything. That's a good thing , right ? There are just things I am not done with yet, that's all. Hey, this desk is organized, you should see my workbench. I like to keep my tools close at hand there too.
 I am considering a reorganization however. It may be time for a bit of a clean up. Sometimes that is what is needed as well. Kinda reshuffle the deck as it where. There just may be things here that I am done with. That doesn't mean I should discard them though. We wouldn't have any artifacts at all if we did that. Even hoarders serve a purpose. Well for all the talk of it the truth is, it's a mess. Again. I really should do something with it. And now you have spent your valuable time reading about my messy desk. It's a diversion I suppose. I could have cleaned my desk but I've got such a busy mind I just don't have the time ! Wife's not buying it either.

Useless knowledge ?

 Sometimes you learn things, and then wonder what the value of that knowledge is. Happens to me all the time. Take yesterday for instance, I was working on the family tree and stumbled across a few tidbits of history. These items hold interest only for myself I believe. They are facts or suppositions about my ancestors. A fact is my great great grandfather built his house in 1894. That house still stands there on the corner of Floyd street and the Springs Fireplace Road. When the house was built Floyd street didn't have a name, it was just a dirt lane. My great grandfather lived in that house when I was growing up, his name was Floyd. I suppose that is how that street got named. It was Floyds' street. An interesting bit of trivia. But it is supposition and should not be taken as fact. It is a probably. Another " discovery " I made concerns another place name. It is a cemetery. I've always known it as the round swamp cemetery Turns out the old folks called it the Lester cemetery. There is a farm at Round Swamp, has been for generations. The Lesters own it. So it would be natural enough for it to be called the Lester cemetery at Round Swamp. Things is, there are several Lester families that have been in town for many generations and not necessarily related to one another. My great grand aunt Rose is buried there. She was a Terry, it was her Aunt Lucy who married a Lester. You got it, Floyd Lester, but he is not related to the round swamp lesters. And that begs the question, of what use is all this knowledge ? Not much I'm guessing, except to provide a little entertainment. At least it is entertaining to me.
 The big question is all of this is, what difference does it make ? Is this of any value at all ? I have been asked that and have no answer. I spend time and money uncovering information like this. A lot of time. To what purpose ? Should everything we do have a purpose ? Given the limited amount of time we have here on this earth one would certainly think so. Wasting time is just wrong, isn't it ? Finding answers to questions that no longer matter could be taken that way. I confess that it is something I enjoy, this finding of answers. Maybe it is because I will have answers that others may not. That gives me a sense of power. I do like having the answers. That could be it, just having knowledge that others can not easily refute. I just may have gained some insight there. Is that the draw for me ? Yes, it is. That is the truth of it all. Is it wrong ? No, I don't think so, it is just a part of my personality. So there it is, all laid out on the table. No knowledge is useless, this knowledge taught me about myself ! In a larger sense I believe that is the purpose of  knowledge, to learn about ourselves. The sharing of that knowledge, is the sharing of ourselves. Or it could be as simple as having a neutral topic. Something I can talk about without dispute. You don't know, and you don't care, so the topic is neutral. Something more than talking about the weather.  

Reflecting an image

 When I was quite young I had an Uncle that called me the professor. This name didn't stick with me long and was more of an exclusive thing to that Uncle. My memory of it is vague. I do not know his reason for calling me the professor but I just figured it was because I wore glasses. Other than my sister, no one in my family wore glasses. As we all know glasses are associated with the nerdy, brainy types. I wasn't as physical as my brothers and enjoyed reading. I guess that is why that moniker. I didn't mind it at all and secretly thought, you are correct. The thing is, that " professor " image didn't fly well down to three mile harbor ! We are all born into an environment and must adapt to it. Or should I say, most of us adapt to the environment and just blend in. Others, call them strong willed or just unaware, do not, and become the subject of ridicule. These days we call it bullying.
 Growing up I spent quite a bit of my time emulating my father. That was a natural and normal thing as he was the example, the standard bearer. I learned a lot from him about all manner of trades. He was a man that could build anything and was very good at it. He was also " old school ' in many ways. His word was law and there was no debate. Weakness was not tolerated. Complaining was a weakness, so don't do it unless you are willing to be subjected to ridicule. He was quite a stoic man. Unflappable you might say. He lived entirely in the real world, although I suspected he dreamed big dreams. My biggest regret is that I never got to know him as a man. That is to say, on equal footing. But all of that was many years ago, Dad passed away twenty five years ago.
 What I was thinking about, that brought all this to mind, was a simple phrase a friend said to me. She said she was missing the sound of the sea and the salt water. Memories of my youth flooded my mind. You see, three mile harbor, and that whole lifestyle, circles around the sea and salt water. More properly the bay but let's not nit pick. Fishing was a way of life. The bounty of the bay sustained many in my family, although Dad didn't work the water exclusively. The bay was his safety net however and he would turn to it when times were hard. When the weather turned cold and seasonal work became scarce, he would get out the dredges. Down to the bay we went and dredged up some money ! All these years later all that remains is an image. An image of a lifestyle and a place that no longer exists. I was a part of that image. I was a part of it by birth, not by choice. That I loved it I wouldn't deny, but I wonder. What if I hadn't been subject to the pressure of fitting into that society, and that is just what it was. There were expectations to be met. There was plenty of encouragement, just not in the areas I had an interest in. Let's just say philosophy wasn't a hot topic down to the harbor. It was demanded of me that I get that high school diploma but anything further than that was not necessary. The truth is, those " college " boys were not held in high regard in certain quarters. I lived in those quarters !
 We are all products of our environments. I am what I am because of what I was. That can't be denied or changed. There are those of us that cling to an image. The reasons for doing so are many. An image projects certain conceptions about the person. They may, or may not be true of the individual, but will be true for the majority of those in that society. Riding on the coattails is a way of expressing that thought. By doing so one doesn't have to prove oneself. You only need show the legitimacy of inclusion into that society. This could be by birth or just by joining in. I could buy a motorcycle, leather vest and grow long hair. Riding down the road your perception would be, he's a biker. Further thought might include, he's dangerous. That is the image, is it not ?
 This has lead me to question, what image do I project ? More importantly is the image I project in keeping with who I really am ? Am I honest with myself ? Now that is a lengthy discussion. Can we really decide upon an image ? I think that we can, on the surface anyway. Our choice of clothes and the opinions we choose to express publicly can certainly create that. Is it sustainable ? I don't think so. I think that happiness, in our life, depends upon being who we are. It is this acceptance of ourselves that is the path to happiness. It is our choices that make our image however. So do we choose an image and adapt to that image or do we adapt our choices to fit the image ? Make the right choices and this is not a concern. The image is self forming. The influences of others can alter your choices. The thing is there are good influences and bad. Knowing the difference is the real challenge.
 My major influence was my father. He was a man that was sure of himself and sure of his choices. That is the image I have of him. That is my reality. As I said earlier I never got to know him as an equal. I wonder if that image would have changed had I gotten to know him in that fashion ? When I last saw him, in his hospital bed, he told me he wouldn't see me again. He stated that with the conviction that he always had. It was a matter of fact to him. Yes, I saw some regret in his eyes and his handshake was extra firm, but he remained unwavering. Now, as I age I just have more questions.
I do not have that conviction. I can not cling to an image. I'm not that man. Just who am I ? I am whoever I choose to be is the answer. It is all in the choices we make. Individuals make the society, society does not make the individual. Or does it ? 

Preoccupied by life

 Like a lot of us I dream about winning the lottery. I mean not incessantly or fixated on that remote possibility but aware that the possibility exists. It can be an entertaining pastime. I've designed my home, my boat and used the money for many good deeds. I've traveled around the country, bought my dream cars and trucks and a couple times a motorcycle, although I think I would like a trike ! The offbeat, cool guy always rode a trike in the movies. Yes, given unlimited funds I could do a lot.
 I do wonder though how it would really be. What if I weren't preoccupied with living ? That is to say didn't have to think about money. What if I were free to just do whatever ? Would I use that time productively or  just have a good time ? The later would surely be a sore temptation. Relax and do whatever pleases you. That sounds wonderful now doesn't it ? It is what most of us dream about I think. We are, after all, selfish creatures by nature. But wouldn't that be wrong ? Morally I mean, to waste your time and efforts just having fun. It sure doesn't seem right. Is that the reason the wealthy are always trying to get wealthier ? At least that is the perception I have of the extremely wealthy. They buy companies, invest their money and do that sort of thing. Some drive themselves crazy with the want of more money. Occasionally you hear about those that " overindulge " in the luxury of their lives and bad things happen.
 I have often thought about this dilemma. Say you have a hit record or two and make millions of dollars. Why would you stay " on the road " for most of your time ? I often here these singers complaining of life on the road and how grueling it is. Why not quit doing that ? If you already have millions of dollars you don't need the money. If you are doing it for the " art " just do it when you like. Surely you can get your " fix " from the crowds without having to travel to a different city every day. I would guess you have to really love whatever it is you are doing to be successful at it. That must be the motivator. Does the money become secondary in these situations ? I think that is the real mystery I would like solved, and you too. If I had unlimited funds would I continue to do what I am doing now ? Answer, NO ! Well, yes I probably would just do it in a bigger way. I wouldn't be as distracted from doing the things I like to do but I would still do them. The next question is, would I do them any better ? Given enough money I could create the illusion. With enough money others will tell you how great you are. An overnight success !
 What I'm trying to say here is, after you have all the material things you want in life, what next ? All that remains are the intangibles. Intangible things aren't much fun. If I can't hold it, eat it or ride on it or do something else with it, what fun is that ? The garnering of accolades could become addictive . Nothing wrong with that as long as the good deeds are being done I suppose. Would that be satisfaction enough however ? Just what is it that pleases you the most ? I mean, deep down inside, when it is only you, what is your greatest satisfaction ? The answer to that question defines who you are.We must compare that answer to the standard.
 The issue is which standard are you using ? Societies standard, or your own ? Should our standard conform to society ? That has been questioned by every person that has ever walked the face of the earth. It is a question not easily answered. The first problem with that is that societies standards are constantly changing. And why do they change ? Mostly because it is easier to change the rules then follow them. In a society , at least a democratic one, all you need is a majority to do so. We see that happen all the time. For some , we reject that change. We are forced to abide by the change but we object. Now our standard is in opposition to the society. I'm setting my own standard. Is it wrong ? The majority in the society think so. This can cause anxiety. It causes me to think. Thinking is a good thing, right ? Just because the majority thinks one thing, that doesn't make it right though. Copernicus knew that all too well. He was eventually vindicated.
 I will be completely honest here . One of the things that gives me the greatest satisfaction in life is in being right. I love being able to say, even mumbled under my breath, I told you so. I will not say that out loud, unless of course you are a good friend, but I will think it. I will take smug satisfaction. It is a human weakness. It is wrong and against my own standard. Well, admitting to the problem is half the cure, right ? I'm working on it.
 So when I win that lottery will I spend my time being right ? If you have enough money most people will agree with you at the very least. As long as it benefits them they will. That is not the right I enjoy so much though. It has to be the truth. Further still the other person must realize that they were in error. That is the satisfaction in it, having told someone the truth and them realizing it. So you could say I would be a teacher. That is what I would do if I were extremely wealthy, inform the world ! Now that is a dream worthy of the lottery. I'm right and everyone agrees.  So there !

Plan for the future

 The nature of man is that we spend more time dreaming of the place we used to be, than planning for where we are going. I suppose that is only true of those that believe we are going elsewhere. I fall into that category. I have been told and believe that heaven is a wonderful place free of pain and worry. A place where you are with your ancestors and you have all knowledge. Seems like a place you should be in a hurry to get too, but it is not. Isn't that a curious thing ? How do we justify that logic ? I believe it is because there is indeed a plan and I don't know it. I only need to execute the plan and that requires my presence here on earth, at this time. When the time comes, I'm gone. Until then I continue to remember the past. That is because it is the only thing I know for sure. The future depends upon faith.

 Of course there is always the " bird in the hand " philosophy. I do think that is for lazy people though. Yes, I have whatever it is and it is sufficient but shouldn't I desire more ? Is that greed ? Perhaps it is only desire. What is the difference between greed and desire ? Greed is wanting something that you are unwilling to work for and desire is just wanting something. Desire may be hunger and I eat an apple, greed is taking the remaining apples without the need for them. So I would have to say I am desirous of going to heaven but am not greedy about it. But why should I desire heaven ? It is the freedom from pain,worry and all the other human frailties, combined with the enjoyment of the past, that makes heaven so desirous. I have the bird in the hand and the bird in the bush ! I've got it all. Isn't that the promise ? So why don't we spend more time dreaming about that ? That is the weakness of the flesh. Now doesn't that sound Biblical ? I can't think of another way of putting it though. Most people like the sure thing. I'm sure of yesterday and fairly certain about today. Tomorrow causes little worry for me, except when I am seriously ill or in a life endangering situation. But, what about death ? That is where I have to go, on faith alone. No one has ever returned to give a first person account. It is easier to not think about that. It is easy to remember the past. Most of us just block out the " bad " parts when we can. That is the good old days that are so popular. It is what we choose to recall. 

 The question here is, how do we plan for the future ? How do we plan to go to heaven. Virtue is the path that we must follow. I like to believe that regardless of what other paths I may have taken over the years there is still the opportunity to get on that right path, the virtuous path. I do not know when my journey will end, but I know that it will. It is my desire to be on the right path when that happens. I do not believe I can just jump on that path at the last second. Surely there must be a minimum amount of travel required. I saw a quote by Helen Keller that said, " a bend in the road is not the end of the road, unless you fail to make the turn. " I would agree with that, but point out that the road does end eventually. Every day is a chance to take that bend in the road and every day is a chance for the road to end. The only trick is, be on the right road ! Virtue is its' own reward. That quote is credited to the ancient Chinese. Aristotle said, " tolerance is the last virtue of a dying society. " Why is that so ? It is because if we allow (tolerate ) less than virtuous behaviors we will not receive the reward. The reward being a virtuous life. The virtuous life is the only path to heaven.