reminders

  I have said on more than one occasion that I'm writing these blogs as a sort of record. My intention is to share my thoughts and memories. I make an effort to not just write what I think will be the popular thing or attempt to attract followers. I only post the link to Facebook although it is available on Google search. Amazing to me that others have found it and left a comment or two. People from different countries even. Amazing. When I first began this writing, I thought what an amazing thing it was that anyone could write a blog or whatever and "publish" it, basically to the world. I remembered sending a bit of poetry to the local newspaper. They published it in the letters to the editor section, I know they publish everyone's submissions in the letter to the editor section, but it was still exciting. Published to an audience. To a circulation. No idea how many that would be, but more than family and friends. 

 This morning I have some sad news on my mind. I read of the passing of yet another classmate from high school days. I hesitated before beginning this thinking; no one wants to hear sad thoughts, and I have written about this several times already. But then I reminded myself about why I was writing in the first place. And so, I have begun. My first thought in thinking about this recent loss was perhaps this is Gods' way of preparing me for the acceptance of the inevitable. I know I will die one day, everybody does. Perhaps all this practice at saying goodbye is what will prepare me. I have often marveled at the "old" people that are still around and how frequently they talk of old friends. I also wonder, how they continue on. Mentally I mean, how to remain resolved to live. Not that I have ever considered the alternative as a choice. That has never entered my thoughts. I wouldn't call it resolve, but I have no plans to go anywhere anytime soon. 

 It is the previous paragraph that caused my hesitation. You could say the whole subject is just morbid. It is sad, very sad. Many of those that have passed that I knew in those days I haven't seen or interacted with in fifty years or more. Still there is something about the loss that affects me. I think it is a piece of the past and the knowledge that that past is gone, history. It is the finality of death that disturbs me. It is also the reason I ask; will I know it? Will I know that I died? I am not nearly as concerned with the life after as I am with that question. If I know that I died, will I be sad about that? I don't want to be sad for eternity. If I'm not sad, why would I be glad? That would seem a bit self-centered. 

 Well, these are my thought on this sad news this morning. I've been told I repeat myself and I agree, I do. I do think about the same topics more than once and as a result write those thoughts. That's the thing about life, it contains reminders if you are paying attention. At other times you are reminded even when you aren't paying attention! It's always hard saying goodbye, laying a memory to rest. 

 Here is some advice I found written by a name unknown to me. I think perhaps it contains a bit of the sentiment I feel. The part about a piece going with them. I think that is true for everyone that we have ever known, just to varying degrees. You might say the closer to home, the stronger that sentiment. Home is indeed where the heart is. So anyway, here it is;

   Tell your friend that in his death, a part of you dies and goes with him. Wherever he goes, you also go. He will not be alone. Jiddu Krishnamurti