password protected

 Heard on the radio. 90% of couples today say you should not share the password for your phone with your significant other. What I hear: don't trust your significant other. I was surprised to hear that though and question the validity of that survey. I question most surveys to be honest about it. These days I believe most surveys are to gain an advantage in some fashion. The bias is built right in. But the idea that I shouldn't share my phone password never entered my mind.

 I admit I am a bit older, a bit old fashioned you might say, although I prefer traditionalist. In my world I don't keep secrets from my significant others. Well, alright that does depend upon just how significant they are but all of that is another discussion altogether. Assuming your significant other is truly important, truly of significance in your life, you shouldn't have any secrets. Or, to be more precise, you shouldn't be worried that they will discover your secrets. Yes, there is a difference between the two. We all have secrets of some type and for various reasons. 

 Now with me, my wallet and my wife's purse are the only things password protected. I will not go into her purse without her saying so and she doesn't go into my wallet without mine. It's a mutual respect for each other's privacy. I could put a phone number in there and not have to think she would see it. I trust her implicitly to not go through my wallet. It could be argued I feel that why simply because I know there is nothing in there to be concerned about. There's truth in that as well. When the bank is empty you aren't worried about being robbed. But my point is simply it's a matter of trust. Applying an actual lock (password) of some type you are unwilling to share is a show of mistrust in my opinion. 

 I hear about all these couple getting into trouble over their phones and social media. Their partner gains access and finds all sorts of unsavory things. I hear the woman saying how their man left his phone unlocked and they went through it. They have suspicions and feel justified in doing so. What that is, is a lack of respect for the other person. If my wife told me her phone was locked and she wouldn't tell me the password that would raise suspicion, what are you hiding? I think she would feel the same way should I decide to do that, and I wouldn't fault her for that. 

 I heard that on the radio and can't help but think, if that is true, we are in trouble. Relationship has to be based in trust. That's all we have in this world really, trust in our fellow man. No one can do this alone, no man is an Island, John Donne gets the credit for that observation. In that poem he points out the loss of others is indeed our personal loss. If you can't trust, you lose trust. Without trust love cannot long survive, for it must be watered frequently with that most precious of commodities, trust. Is your trust password protected?