manners

  It is something I mention from time to time, the use of profanity in a social setting. More specifically what I call polite company. Polite company is that situation where you may be a stranger to the group, have some acquaintances in the group, and even be friends with some of the group. But, in polite company we are not close personal friends. In polite company we demonstrate our best behavior. When I see profane language being used in what I perceive as a social setting that bothers me. I will often delete that post from my timeline. On occasion I will even say something about that. In my opinion the use of profanities has become far too common a thing. It is becoming the norm. For me it is a lowering of the social standards. It leads to other poor behaviors and choices. It certainly demonstrates aggression. It is a verbal assault of the senses. A sort of verbal bullying! 

 I read several studies done recently by scholars attempting to determine if the use of such language demonstrates intelligence or a lack of that. Several studies claim to support the idea that the use of profane language actually is a sign of higher intelligence. People using that language in all social settings are honest and direct. Of course there are studies that say just the opposite. At least one researcher says the use of profanity is an indication of psychopathy! That researcher did explain that psychopathy is defined as a willingness to violate other peoples rights. It is only in the method that they choose to do so that define the psychopath. So you psychopaths that are constantly using profanities should be made aware of that. That's what I'm doing here. Call it a public service. But seriously the researchers did note that it also became a habit. I can vouch for that as after returning home from being at sea for six months, in that environment, I would occasionally slip. That was especially true if I was excited or angry about something. I would forget what social setting I was in. Although I have been retired from the Navy for close to thirty years I find my choice of words will change depending on the social setting I am in. When I'm with the boys I can be "highly intelligent" if those researchers are to be believed. I can also be a psychopath. Maybe I'm just a highly intelligent psychopath, like all the super villains' in the marvel comics world. I am the curse master and will curl your hair with a single expletive. Armed with only four letters I fight for justice, for the downtrodden and marginalized. 

 I haven't conducted any scientific study on this topic. I haven't spent years in school studying other people and getting a degree in psychology. The truth is I don't place a whole lot of stock in that at all. I don't think you can ever really know what is in another's mind. As far as psychopathic behaviors go that has been known to be redefined over time. At one time homosexuality was listed as a mental disorder. Cross-dressing was also listed as aberrant behavior. Today those same aberrant behaviors have been reclassified as normal, a choice, and nothing wrong with that. In my opinion that is for a simple reason, society has accepted that. No different really than a native tribe that believes in shrinking their enemies heads! Or killing an unborn child because you made a mistake. It's all good in society. Nothing wrong with any of that. Profane language is on that same path. Yes I agree it is a very mild, tame even, form of that but our Governor even has an ad on television where he says, " wear the damn mask." He, and others, must agree that is perfectly acceptable language for general usage, within polite company as it where. Do you want your child to say, give me the damn crayon? Why not? 

 I will offer what I think the deal is. The use of profanity in a social setting is a sign of immaturity. That's what I think. When did you first decide to start using profanity? Wasn't it to show how grown up you were? Think about that for a minute. It's what adults do when the kids aren't around. We heard older kids say it, so we repeated it. Made us sound tough, worldly, wise even. We were doing what was forbidden! Wasn't that the real attraction? Isn't that still the attraction? They will know that we mean business. I call it a sign of immaturity because you are acting like a child. The Doctors say you are psychopaths. Maybe the truth is we are all just childish psychopaths. I do recall a time when we were taught to not use profanity, when it was recognized as wrong. Well, that and a host of other things. I'm thinking it is all downhill from here. 

“Sick cultures show a complex of symptoms such as you have named...but a dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot.”
― Robert A Heinlein, Friday