What position are you in?

  I haven't heard of any self help books lately. It seemed like at one time there was a new one every few months. Now, I haven't read any of them cover to cover and I can't say any of them ever helped me. Well I suppose that shouldn't be a surprise I am supposed to do that my self. Maybe I did by not reading those books. But whatever the case is I do recall the book, a best seller, titled, I'm Okay, You're Ok. I looked it up and that was back in 1972. Doesn't seem like it was that long ago to me but there it is. So I had to look it up and read a synopsis of what the guy was talking about. The author said it was a method for solving problems. He called it transactional analysis. Now doesn't that sound la de da. I am amused by that sort of thing and it is something that has continued to proliferate over the years. We have reached the point were some talk about gender neutrality and gender identity as options. But whatever, transactional analysis was based on a simple premise. Each of us have three states or ego's. We are the parent, the adult and the child. By identifying which state we are in at any one time we can solve our problems. 

 The author explained that the at some point in our life we chose one of those ego's. The majority will choose the child. That sets up a negative life position. That position being a defenseless child dependent upon others for caring. That's as much as I read about that. I admit I was shocked. It was like reading something Nostradamus may have written. I can sure see a lot of people in that negative life position today! They are dependent upon others for everything! OMG, in 1972 that man was seeing today. He did go on to say by identifying and accepting the Parent and/or adult role we could find solutions to our interpersonal relationships. In that way I can be Okay and you are Okay too. That's the title remember? I'm Okay, You're Okay. 

 The thing is I did adopt my life position many years ago. I adopted I'm Okay, you're not! I did not choose a negative life position and I've managed to get this far. I haven't written a book about that yet, but I sure have posted a good deal of that philosophy on Facebook. I've also had my decision reaffirmed more than once, I'm Okay, many of you are not! The author was Anthony Harris and he passed away in 1995. I wonder what he would have to say today. I did read where he didn't invent transactional analysis though, that was a man named Eric Bernie and he wrote a book called, the games people play. I haven't read anything about that, I'll have to go check it out. 

 I did google this and apparently the #1 self help book today is, Forgiving what you can't forget. A very brief explanation of how to do that is, accepting that you did whatever needs forgiving in the first place. I'd call it being accountable. But like most of these self help books it is all common sense to me. I've always felt that is what self help books were all about. Just state the obvious. Yes it helps if you have a title like Dr. to add credibility to that. Dr. Phil springs to mind with his son publishing his books. In my opinion he has turned himself more into a Dr. Jerry Springer or a Muray. I couldn't write a book or even a pamphlet about any of that. I can sum it up in one sentence, I'm Okay, You're not.  My advice, listen to your Grandmother if you want to know the real deal. Transactional analysis? That might have a different meaning today. A lot of trans stuff going on. People are now transiting from one gender to another! Well let's do an analysis of that. No, you're not! You are just fooling yourself. It's not Okay. That transaction is bogus. It was first written down in 1698 according to several sources. "God helps those you help themselves." That's what my grandmother told me too. Really it is what Dr. Harris was saying in that book. He helped himself a great deal making a bunch of money off that book. The bottom line as far as I'm concerned is this: I'm okay, I'm really not sure about you. That's my attitude. That is my life position.