I should have asked

  In thinking about the past and wondering why, it occurred to me that I should have asked. It's really that simple. I could have asked and gotten a great number of questions answered. But I was young then and what could old people tell me about anything of interest? Who wants to hear about any of that? Old people have never done anything but work and complain about everything. They had to walk to school, so what, not my fault. All they seem to talk about is what you shouldn't do and they how did something wrong. Well, not very wrong, a cute kinda wrong. Nothing that ever hurt anyone else or caused a big problem. But they sure heard a lot about what others had done and know you shouldn't do that! Funny how that works isn't it? 

 If old people aren't talking about that stuff, they are talking about dead people. Do you remember so and so? No, I don't, they are dead. How interesting can dead people be? I mean unless they are criminals or did something really cool, who cares? They are just as boring as old people, only even older. And old people always think the stuff they had was so cool, it was so much better than what we have today. Yeah well, if it was so great why has it been replaced? A phone with a cord on it and it doesn't even take pictures? That was better? I don't think so. They didn't even have pictures in color! Now how boring is that? 

 Of course now that I'm older, not old, there is a distinction to be made there, I realize that old people are a valuable source of information. Just need to find ones that remember. That is where it gets interesting though. I mentioned that yesterday, alternative facts. I'm at that age where I remember all the good times I had over the years, and yes, I was cool once, I did stuff, but I ain't telling those stories to my grandchildren. Look, they already think I'm a crazy old man as it is, I wouldn't want to confirm that for them. I want the benefit of the doubt anyway. I have been been involved in some situations that, shall we say, are less than honorable. Some aren't cute at all. But the past is the past and should stay there, you can't change it. That's the attitude of an older person, one that ain't that old. It has taken me a number of years to craft this image and I don't want to spoil that. Just tell the basics and let others draw their own conclusions. Heck at this point the grandkids wouldn't believe half of it anyway. I understand that. My grandmother was always a grandmother in my eyes, and she still is. Anything outside of that realm is just speculation. 

 I've always thought that your whole story shouldn't be revealed until there is no one that knew you personally still living. I say that because if you knew that your great grandfather was a famous ax murderer you might tell others about that. If that same person was your father, or your best friend, you probably wouldn't. Know what I mean? Indiscretions, crimes, aberrant behaviors or eccentricities are okay after you're dead, and okay to talk about by those that never knew you. They aren't a topic of discussion when it's current events. Mistakes live in the past. 

 Nowadays though attitudes are changing. Now mistakes are celebrated. It usually begins with the phrase, I'm a survivor. I survived drug addiction, alcoholism, or some other self inflicted malady. Understand it wasn't my fault, but I overcame that! You can make the same mistake as many times as you like as long as you admit to it. If you are engaged in some aberrant behaviors, you hold a parade to celebrate that. Just put it all out there in the open, there is nothing wrong; as long as you say it is right. The only thing wrong is telling someone else that they are wrong. That's the new way. That's cool. Old people wouldn't know anything about any of that, they are just old fashioned, set in their ways, closed minded. Old people are living in the past, they just don't get it. 

 They say you never know until you ask. There's a lot of truth in that. I could have asked and gotten some answers. The thing is, how much are you willing to share? There's the rub. How much have you personally experienced and how much have you heard? Well, I heard that if you: you complete that sentence. You see this old person was taught you didn't air your dirty laundry. That was the saying. You had to wash that stuff first, remove any stains, and don't tell others about it. If you made a mistake, you corrected that mistake. The importance lies in correcting the error, not telling everyone that you made it. That's why you say, I've heard this or that about this or that. You know, but you don't admit to knowing. Not by first hand experience anyway. I've heard about a lot of stuff in my lifetime, but haven't done much of it. At least not stuff I will admit too. 

 You see us old people have learned a thing or two. Imagination is always better than reality. Anticipation is far more exciting than the day. And having a few secrets makes you feel just a little bit smarter than the other guy. It isn't as much what you know, as what others believe you may know. I won't tell you everything and give up that power. We have all heard the Serenity Prayer. It ends with these words, "and the wisdom to know the difference." You can't change the past and you shouldn't try. You do have to know the difference between the past and the present however. You can't live in the present without knowing the past. Old people have a lot more past to draw upon, and that, that is the wisdom to know the difference. Don't wait until that old person is past though, you won't get any answers then. Ask today.