I hear a lot of people saying all the "right" things. I don't believe it is what they actually believe, it is just the right thing to say. I've been using this expression for a while, there can be no discussion, as a way to describe that very thing. Some call it political correctness while I think it is more like fear. Fear of being ridiculed, fear of losing friends, fear of something. Well I say if you are afraid of being ridiculed you must not have much faith in what you are saying. If you are afraid of losing friends, they aren't friends in the first place. And fear of something else? Well that may indicate a lack of intestinal fortitude.
Now I know the last thing can be countered with, discretion is the better part of valor. I can't offer any argument in that regard. Of course that does become difficult when the mantra includes, do not judge. And yes, that is what I hear all the time by the same people saying the "right" thing. The same people that are offering all sorts of solutions for the ills of the world. More specifically, excuses for their own shortcomings. Things aren't going quite right for them, they are having issues. They can't seem to figure out just what the problem is. After listening to the newest, the latest, the greatest life coaches and sipping their lattes, they remain confused. They have said all the "right" answers, repeated the propaganda lessons word for word, bowed to every social pressure, and still they feel this uneasiness. That leads them to seek therapy, whether in the form of professional help or self medicating. When challenged on fact they just shut down, ignore facts and deflect. Yes that is what it is, but it isn't what it should be, therefore the fact is wrong. It's like history, they believe history should be what you want it to have been, not what was.
I know, it's all very confusing to some. I know why that is too, it's simple really. All of that stems from, are you ready for this, a lack of judgement! That's right, a lack of good judgement leads to all of that. Poor judgement, or a lack of judgement, no matter, it is the absence of judgement that is the root cause. You can call it discernment while you sip your double foam latte, but you do have to judge others. Oh my, I'm not supposed to say that out loud. Still it is something I do everyday, unabashedly, indeed as a matter of habit. I listen to the things you say, the things you support, and begin to form a judgement about you. Yes, I do. And that is the difference between some others and myself, I will openly admit to making judgements. I will also tell you, you should be doing the same. That's right. you should be making judgements about others actions, comparing those actions to your own values, and making a judgement based on that. It is that, that will bring you piece of mind. You have to trust yourself before you can trust anyone else!
The whole problem with adopting this non-judgemental lifestyle is you have no base, no foundation upon which to build. If you adopt everything and anything, even tacitly, you are on shifting sands. Stability is what is required. It can be compared to raising children. You have to provide them with a stable environment, an established set of standards, and in that they learn right from wrong. Yes, you have to teach your children how to make good choices, how to judge right from wrong! You can't do that by constantly saying, don't judge.
The bottom line is this, in the end you have to make a decision. How are we to arrive at that decision? Is it by listening to the crowd, discarding our own feelings and beliefs in favor of the crowd? Or is it by gathering the facts, comparing those facts against our own and making a judgement based on that? In the end we have to live with one person, all the time, 24/7, 365 days a year. That person is yourself! If your choices constantly run counter to your judgement, you will not be happy. Eliminating judgement? I don't think so. Rather than proclaiming I don't judge others you should embrace that quality. Yeah others may not like it and that's when they will call you judgmental. And my response to that is, why yes I am. Exercising sound judgement is an attribute not a liability. Thank you for noticing.
In the absence of judgement lies chaos. To judge is to state your observations, even if you only tell yourself those observations, it is the recognition that's important. It could be said that love is freedom from judgement. Yes I can see that but there are times when we feel like we are in love and discard our better judgement. I think we have all experienced that and know the results aren't usually good. And it doesn't matter if it is another person or that new big screen television. We can love them both and disregard our better judgement. For that reason I wouldn't say love is freedom from judgement, rather I would say, I love you because I judged you.
Now I know the last thing can be countered with, discretion is the better part of valor. I can't offer any argument in that regard. Of course that does become difficult when the mantra includes, do not judge. And yes, that is what I hear all the time by the same people saying the "right" thing. The same people that are offering all sorts of solutions for the ills of the world. More specifically, excuses for their own shortcomings. Things aren't going quite right for them, they are having issues. They can't seem to figure out just what the problem is. After listening to the newest, the latest, the greatest life coaches and sipping their lattes, they remain confused. They have said all the "right" answers, repeated the propaganda lessons word for word, bowed to every social pressure, and still they feel this uneasiness. That leads them to seek therapy, whether in the form of professional help or self medicating. When challenged on fact they just shut down, ignore facts and deflect. Yes that is what it is, but it isn't what it should be, therefore the fact is wrong. It's like history, they believe history should be what you want it to have been, not what was.
I know, it's all very confusing to some. I know why that is too, it's simple really. All of that stems from, are you ready for this, a lack of judgement! That's right, a lack of good judgement leads to all of that. Poor judgement, or a lack of judgement, no matter, it is the absence of judgement that is the root cause. You can call it discernment while you sip your double foam latte, but you do have to judge others. Oh my, I'm not supposed to say that out loud. Still it is something I do everyday, unabashedly, indeed as a matter of habit. I listen to the things you say, the things you support, and begin to form a judgement about you. Yes, I do. And that is the difference between some others and myself, I will openly admit to making judgements. I will also tell you, you should be doing the same. That's right. you should be making judgements about others actions, comparing those actions to your own values, and making a judgement based on that. It is that, that will bring you piece of mind. You have to trust yourself before you can trust anyone else!
The whole problem with adopting this non-judgemental lifestyle is you have no base, no foundation upon which to build. If you adopt everything and anything, even tacitly, you are on shifting sands. Stability is what is required. It can be compared to raising children. You have to provide them with a stable environment, an established set of standards, and in that they learn right from wrong. Yes, you have to teach your children how to make good choices, how to judge right from wrong! You can't do that by constantly saying, don't judge.
The bottom line is this, in the end you have to make a decision. How are we to arrive at that decision? Is it by listening to the crowd, discarding our own feelings and beliefs in favor of the crowd? Or is it by gathering the facts, comparing those facts against our own and making a judgement based on that? In the end we have to live with one person, all the time, 24/7, 365 days a year. That person is yourself! If your choices constantly run counter to your judgement, you will not be happy. Eliminating judgement? I don't think so. Rather than proclaiming I don't judge others you should embrace that quality. Yeah others may not like it and that's when they will call you judgmental. And my response to that is, why yes I am. Exercising sound judgement is an attribute not a liability. Thank you for noticing.
In the absence of judgement lies chaos. To judge is to state your observations, even if you only tell yourself those observations, it is the recognition that's important. It could be said that love is freedom from judgement. Yes I can see that but there are times when we feel like we are in love and discard our better judgement. I think we have all experienced that and know the results aren't usually good. And it doesn't matter if it is another person or that new big screen television. We can love them both and disregard our better judgement. For that reason I wouldn't say love is freedom from judgement, rather I would say, I love you because I judged you.
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