Monday, August 3, 2020

how it works

 I am often amused by the television commercials and the things they say. This morning they were advertising a device called UV something or other. This device emits UV rays to sanitize your phone, keyboard or other electronic devices without the use of cleaners or liquids of any type. They proclaimed how you could now use your phone without fear! Yes, all anxiety from using a potentially contaminated phone could be erased, quickly and in a green fashion too. Act now and they will include free shipping, that's right free. And that's just one of the things that always makes me laugh, free shipping. I'm absolutely certain those charges aren't hidden in the price. I laugh at that because it is also something I look for when buying anything online. Amazon even has that prime membership where all shipping is free, well for a small annual fee that is. I haven't joined that club but admit to using the free trial a couple times. I just haven't been convinced to buy the membership. I'm as equally certain I'm fooling them, they don't know I just wanted the free shipping. 
  I wonder whatever happened to K-Tel? Do you remember them? They advertised all sorts of new inventions and gadgets. They didn't offer free shipping though, maybe that's what happened to them. I guess they got replaced with the " as seen on tv " companies. Used to be Billy Mays but he passed away and has been replaced by someone that sounds a lot like him. Flex seal seems to be the big product they are pushing. Miracle stuff in a can. Personally I always liked the slap chop. No tears with that product! The best part is Walgreens has all those products seen on tv. Who needs free shipping then? But wait, act now and they'll double your offer, just pay a separate fee. You are not paying for the item, it's a separate fee. I suspect that separate fee is the actual cost of the item when you don't get free shipping, but then I've been accused of being a skeptical person when it comes to such things.
 The car ads really get me though. You can buy this car at ten thousand below invoice! Yes, ten thousand dollars below invoice. All that says to me is, something isn't right here. Do you really expect me to believe you are selling cars at a loss? Just how far above the invoice price are you marking those cars in the first place? And I'm thinking wouldn't it be better business to just advertise we sell our cars at 10% above invoice, no haggling, no special qualifying required and no limited time offer? I mean, do you really expect me to believe you are reducing the price by ten thousand and you are not still making a profit? 0% financing for 72 months! Ok, the interest has been built right in the price. The whole deal just seems deceptive and possibly dishonest to me. Well car dealers have that reputation don't they? If they proclaim they are telling the truth, you know they are hiding something. And like I said, it's because of those outrageous claims they are always making. These cars have to go, it's an inventory reduction sale. We will sell these vehicles at a loss so we can buy some more cars to sell at a loss. But you have to act fast!
 Yes television advertising really does amuse me. Maybe some it is because of some Navy training I had. You see I was a Navy Recruiter for a while. You have to go to school for that job. Beyond teaching you how to fill out all the forms required and learning the regulations, you take two weeks of psychology, basically the art of the sale. Yes it's quite basic and focused. You learn how to listen and how to tell people what they want to hear. Contrary to popular belief the vast majority of recruiters never lie to their prospects. It is only the desperate or unethical ones that do that. And no, a recruiter doesn't get paid extra money for every person he enlists. You do receive a extra stipend for living away from military facilities. You get that whether anyone joins or not. But anyway, after going through this training, you do hear advertisements differently. What's different? You are listening. For instance you ask me, if I join the Navy can I become a jet pilot? My response will be, yes you can, slight pause, if you qualify. What you just heard was, yes. You see it's all part of the plan. Sales, all sales, no matter what it is you are selling, begin with a conversation. The objective, on the salesmans' part, is to make you curious. Why would you need this double decker super cold ice chest? Once you ask that question I will do my best to convince you, you just can't do without it. It's like having that UV sanitizer for your phone, you don't want to die do you? Of course not, that's why to be safe you will buy that UV sanitizing device to protect you, your family and loved ones. To not do so would be negligent. I will convince you of that, creating the desire in you to have that. Doesn't matter what it is at this point, you want it. All that's left is to close the deal. Sign here, trust me you won't be sorry. And that's how it works.
 Next time an ad comes on television for something, anything at all, listen to it. Really listen and think about what I just told you about selling something. The conversation part is brief, after all you can't really answer except to yourself, but you will anyway. Then comes the curious part, why should you get this product, what will it do for you? It will make you a better person, more attractive, smarter, happier. you will have an experience! Are you convinced? Yes I would like that new car! I can see myself drifting that car on the turns, top down, a beautiful woman in the passenger seat giving me those, I want you looks. And I can get it for ten grand below invoice with 0% interest! Were do I sign? I can even do it online! Listen  and you will hear the same spiel no matter the product. And she'll like it too!     

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