Monday, February 24, 2020

incidents and memories

 Memories from almost a half a century ago. That is what I find myself thinking about. The fact that they are fifty years old is what I was thinking about! Where did that fifty years go? It's a question we all find ourselves asking at times, well those of us that have been fortunate enough to have been around that long anyway, and lucky enough that we can remember. The truth is there has been a lot of changes since then, even my memories have changed, But I still enjoy those old memories, those snippets in time that for one reason or another stayed with me. The highs and lows of childhood are what I'm talking about right now. That was fifty years ago for me. Fifty years ago for my Mother would make her forty years old. She would be remembering me graduating high school, all her other children married, and the introduction of the microwave oven for home use. But fifty years ago for me places me in East Hampton High, a senior in fact. I would be in the very first graduating class from the new school. I hear that school is outdated now and needs replacing. Well it is fifty years old!
 Yes fifty years has passed. To be completely accurate it won't be fifty years until July the twentieth for me. I do remember moments from that time. It's a strange thing though, when I think of my childhood, I remember it in whole. Does that make any sense to you? What I mean is I remember that time as one big picture but only recall certain scenes. I remember teachers, their names, and whether I liked them or not. I remember incidents! Incidents are those things that happened that weren't necessarily good things. I guess that's why we have incident reports. I also remember triumphs, when I got an A+ or a Gold star. I remember when I made a particularity difficult catch or caught that fish. The good things are the memories, the bad things incidents. We are all quick to share memories but reluctant to share incidents. It's human nature I suppose, even after fifty years.
 Often when I sit down to write these memories of mine I search through that file. I have shared a few incidents over the years. Still memories is in the title, and it is memories I like to share the most. I'm running low on those from that time period. I can't explain it but what happened twenty five or thirty years ago doesn't seem like memories to me, too close to today. Maybe it's because there are too many around that might contradict those memories. Too many that can dispute the facts.
 It would be far more entertaining to others if I were to write an incident report. People love to hear about the less than stellar moments others have experienced. It makes us feel better about ourselves. It is a comfort to know others screwed up just as bad as you did, or even worse. Oh I've had my share of incidents. Still nothing " outstanding " just the normal kid stuff. It is also far easier to forget an incident than it is a memory. I think that is because they are made of different materials. Memories are made of everything good, or at least the things that are pleasing to us. Incidents are the refuse. I do have a good number of memories from fifty years ago, memories I've carried with me over the years. The incidents however I carry as baggage. They are the things that keep my feet on the ground. They provide a balance. I'm tempted to set that baggage down on occasion, to just let it go. I've even been told that you should do so. I don't believe that though. I believe they are necessary things. The past provides us with context. We can't change the past that much is certain. The truth is we can't the future either, it hasn't happened yet! So the best we can do is remember. Remember the good and carry the bad with us. I'm thinking when we get to our final destination we will unpack those bags. Only then will we know if we prepared properly. Did we remember everything? 

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