An epitaph

 The rarest quality in an epitaph is truth. ( Thoreau ) I ran across this the other day and was amused by the truth of that statement. Perhaps it was only because of the recent tragic death of Kobe Bryant and the others. I'm no follower of basketball, and have no basketball heroes, but I knew his name. I was aware he was an outstanding player. But after his death the accolades, praise, and popularity soared to tremendous heights. It wasn't unexpected, we see this all the time with celebrities of any kind. Now I'm not saying he doesn't deserve them, I'm certain the loss is very real to a great number of people far beyond his family and friends. I'm as equally certain that all the praise for his talent is warranted. I heard a great deal about him being a great humanitarian and role model. I can only assume it is true, as I said I know little about Kobe Bryant. RIP Mr. Bryant.

 After reading that quote from Thoreau I wondered what Kobe Bryants epitaph will read? More importantly what would he want it to say? Perhaps he has left instructions for such but he was a young man to be concerned with such. We all think we are a bit young for that is my thinking. Yes many of us make arrangements for the inevitable, having been cajoled to do so. There are ads on television telling us how important that is. You don't want to leave your loved ones in the lurch! You have to take care of your final expenses. You must give those mourning peace of mind, failure to do so will cause harm. Fact is death is big business. Another fact is, it's a sure thing. When something like an accident like that one happens it does make us think about all of that. Tomorrow isn't promised is an old adage, and a very true one. 

 Now I have spent some time in the local cemetery. I like to say I'm just getting to know my neighbors, after all, I'll be there one day in that neighborhood. Really the interest is in looking at the headstones and the calm found there. Now this is a cemetery, not a graveyard. Trivia: what's the difference between a cemetery and a graveyard? Answer: a cemetery is not associated with a specific church but a graveyard is. That's why it is called a yard, it's part of the house. I do enjoy a stroll through there although I only know a few individuals interred there. I have noticed however that epitaphs are not found on many more recent tombstones. I suspect the cost of carving may have something to do with that. That's sheer speculation on my part though. I have seen the appearance of " photographs "  on stones recently. I'm not sure I like that. The issue I have would be choosing the picture. It would be an issue if I had to choose it for another or myself! But whatever the case I was thinking about epitaphs and they seem to have fallen out of favor. Having read a great number of them on those old stones I can see what Thoreau had observed. It reminded me of an admonishment my grandmother would say, don't speak ill of the dead. She would hint that this person or that person hadn't been a stellar citizen perhaps, but never would she come right out and say so. She always had a kind word for the dead. 

 I have no reason to believe what Thoreau said is true other than my own cynicism. After all I never knew a single one of those people, nor anyone that knew them. There is no one of particular note that I am aware of buried there. Oh there is the Colonel, a gentleman from the civil war with his grand tombstone and a short epitaph written upon it. His reads a friend to all and a friend to the nation, some sentiment like that. More than likely revered as a war hero by some but disliked by others. And there is Mr. J.B. Harmon whose mausoleum dominants the cemetery. A man of great wealth and power in the community. A man of such stature surely had many admirers, and just as many not so impressed. There is no epitaph printed upon that building. 

 All lie equally in the grave. The size of the marker is important only to the living. The words inscribed on it are a summation of a life. Name, date of birth and date of death the basics. We may include a lamb, an angel, and a few words such as Mother, Father, Beloved or RIP. An epitaph however should sum up the life of the deceased. A daunting task for anyone to compose. Many great poets and writers composed their own. I'd say they were prejudiced, how could they not be. Others writing in admiration would only praise. And my enemies would surely add tarnish to whatever reputation I may have earned in life. So to whom should this task fall? I don't know the answer to that one. Maybe it is best, after all, to say nothing at all. Or perhaps mine should read, " here lies Ben, he wasn't all he could have been, but he was all he could be. "