We reside in an ethereal world somewhere between the truth, and what we tell ourselves. That was the thought that occurred to me as I prepared to travel to my sister's celebration of life. An emotional time for certain and one that leaves me with questions. I think that is true for all of us as we age and begin to lose those we have known and loved through the years. We begin to say goodbye more than hello, and speak more of what was, than what is to be. Is that because of an uncertainty, the uncertainty of life itself.
Our lives are channeled by chance and circumstance. We attempt to influence the outcome by our choices. That is what we tell ourselves, we can influence that outcome, that destination. Our beliefs hinge on what we tell ourselves, not on the opinion of others. We do not question death, death is a certainty, it is what happens afterward that we question. When we are young death seems distant, something that will happen, but not to us. As the years go by death grows nearer and we gain awareness. We realize life itself is an ethereal thing. Surely there is more to life than this world? The answer to that question is truth. What is the truth? It is, what we tell ourselves. As to belief, do you believe what you are saying? Is that your opinion? Or, are you just placing your faith, your trust in the words of others? When our faith is shaken, when we have those moments of doubt, that is when we are questioning ourselves.
As I prepared to go to my sisters celebration of life I confess I didn't feel like celebrating. There is sorrow associated with death, a finality, there is no taking it back. But yet there remains an uncertainty as well. I don't know the truth, only what I tell myself. The sorrow comes from that thought, what if I am wrong? What if this is all there is? I have applied all the logic and reasoning I am capable of to the question. I have read, listened and indeed, prayed for an answer. In the end I am left with what I tell myself.
The most difficult person to convince of something should be yourself. In that way you won't be misled. The responsibilty and the blame must rest solely upon your shoulders. That is simply because that is where faith lives. Faith lives in the words you tell yourself. Do you believe? Are you certain?
The wisest among us question everything, we know so little. Possibilities exist and should be examined, if not explored. But what possibilities exist after death? That is what we all wish we knew the answer to. That is the question I ask myself. The possibility of heaven and hell? Both possibilities require life, don't they? Life , that ethereal thing unexplained and certainly not understood. Are there other possibilities? What if life really does end in death? Then what? That's it, we had a shot. Is that it, we each get one shot at life. That doesn't seem fair does it? I mean what of that life being taken from us by chance or circumstance? A life taken before that life has a chance? Well, we all know that life isn't fair. No more so than today. Certainly my sister dying from cancer wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to her, at all. It wasn't fair to me either, or to her husband and family. It wasn't fair to anyone. So why did this happen? Beyond that I question what has happened to her? It is what I tell myself. That's the answer to that question. No matter what others may say, no matter the opinion, the truth is, it is what I tell myself. That's the best I can do, until the truth is revealed.
And now you are wondering what it is I tell myself. The answer is unimportant really. What is important is what you are telling yourself. Mathematics, it has been proposed, can explain everything. Mathematics are a constant. If I never heard or saw your answer, the answer will be the same. One and one will equal two. Well, unless someone else convinces you otherwise that is. I have no desire to convince anyone of anything regarding life after death. There is only one way to " prove " the answer. And that is to die. Then, and only then will the truth be known to me. In the meantime it all rests upon what I tell myself.
Our lives are channeled by chance and circumstance. We attempt to influence the outcome by our choices. That is what we tell ourselves, we can influence that outcome, that destination. Our beliefs hinge on what we tell ourselves, not on the opinion of others. We do not question death, death is a certainty, it is what happens afterward that we question. When we are young death seems distant, something that will happen, but not to us. As the years go by death grows nearer and we gain awareness. We realize life itself is an ethereal thing. Surely there is more to life than this world? The answer to that question is truth. What is the truth? It is, what we tell ourselves. As to belief, do you believe what you are saying? Is that your opinion? Or, are you just placing your faith, your trust in the words of others? When our faith is shaken, when we have those moments of doubt, that is when we are questioning ourselves.
As I prepared to go to my sisters celebration of life I confess I didn't feel like celebrating. There is sorrow associated with death, a finality, there is no taking it back. But yet there remains an uncertainty as well. I don't know the truth, only what I tell myself. The sorrow comes from that thought, what if I am wrong? What if this is all there is? I have applied all the logic and reasoning I am capable of to the question. I have read, listened and indeed, prayed for an answer. In the end I am left with what I tell myself.
The most difficult person to convince of something should be yourself. In that way you won't be misled. The responsibilty and the blame must rest solely upon your shoulders. That is simply because that is where faith lives. Faith lives in the words you tell yourself. Do you believe? Are you certain?
The wisest among us question everything, we know so little. Possibilities exist and should be examined, if not explored. But what possibilities exist after death? That is what we all wish we knew the answer to. That is the question I ask myself. The possibility of heaven and hell? Both possibilities require life, don't they? Life , that ethereal thing unexplained and certainly not understood. Are there other possibilities? What if life really does end in death? Then what? That's it, we had a shot. Is that it, we each get one shot at life. That doesn't seem fair does it? I mean what of that life being taken from us by chance or circumstance? A life taken before that life has a chance? Well, we all know that life isn't fair. No more so than today. Certainly my sister dying from cancer wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to her, at all. It wasn't fair to me either, or to her husband and family. It wasn't fair to anyone. So why did this happen? Beyond that I question what has happened to her? It is what I tell myself. That's the answer to that question. No matter what others may say, no matter the opinion, the truth is, it is what I tell myself. That's the best I can do, until the truth is revealed.
And now you are wondering what it is I tell myself. The answer is unimportant really. What is important is what you are telling yourself. Mathematics, it has been proposed, can explain everything. Mathematics are a constant. If I never heard or saw your answer, the answer will be the same. One and one will equal two. Well, unless someone else convinces you otherwise that is. I have no desire to convince anyone of anything regarding life after death. There is only one way to " prove " the answer. And that is to die. Then, and only then will the truth be known to me. In the meantime it all rests upon what I tell myself.
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