Tomorrow I will be heading to Florida for a few days. It isn't a vacation. There will be a celebration of life for my sister on Saturday. Naturally the wife and I will be there. I understand these celebrations are not supposed to be sad occasions, I get the idea, but I will be sad. It will be held at her home and her presence will be strong. My brother will be there as well. Mom isn't able travel.
My brother in law is holding up well under these, the most difficult of circumstances. He has shown that inner strength that can only come from love. I know he loved my sister and took care of her. He is a good man. Her children and grandchildren will gather around. I will meet some of the grandchildren for the first time. I have been a fleeting character in my sister's married life. I would call on the phone every now and again. Rarely did we get to be with each other as we were both military families. When she was in Germany, I was in Virginia. We just never seemed to be in the same place at the same time. As a result her children have heard more stories about me than actually knowing me. That can be a tricky thing. My sister was a kind hearted soul and I'm sure she treated me well, but still, there are stories.
In the last few years, and we had no idea that it would be the last few years, we grew closer. I took to calling her frequently. I visited her home when we went on a trip to Disney one year. On the cusp of our senior years we became close friends and confidants once again, It was just like when we were kids together except we talked about life, instead of dreams. I distinctly remember having a particularly serious discussion and afterwards thinking, just look at us having an adult discussion! It was quite a realization. We had grown up hadn't we? And now another realization strikes me, she is really gone. After the celebration, after the sharing of memories, her urn will be placed in the final resting place. In a way it is a closing of the door. Yes, of course she will always be with me, in my thoughts, in my heart and soul. But there is something about that final act that casts a shadow.
And so this is what is on my mind this morning as I make the final preparation for my drive south. Being a senior I do plan for such things. Gone are the days of just putting some gas in the car and heading out! No more cries of Road Trip! Have to get things organized, things done around the house. I'm haven't reached the age were Dr. appointments next month are a concern. It will be an emotional few days I'm certain of that. These are the times that test us. Are we as certain as we like to believe? And the truth is, only we will know that answer. Some things are only shared between you and your God. That is as it should be. A test of faith? Certainly a time that gives us pause to reflect.
"Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection into eternal life
My brother in law is holding up well under these, the most difficult of circumstances. He has shown that inner strength that can only come from love. I know he loved my sister and took care of her. He is a good man. Her children and grandchildren will gather around. I will meet some of the grandchildren for the first time. I have been a fleeting character in my sister's married life. I would call on the phone every now and again. Rarely did we get to be with each other as we were both military families. When she was in Germany, I was in Virginia. We just never seemed to be in the same place at the same time. As a result her children have heard more stories about me than actually knowing me. That can be a tricky thing. My sister was a kind hearted soul and I'm sure she treated me well, but still, there are stories.
In the last few years, and we had no idea that it would be the last few years, we grew closer. I took to calling her frequently. I visited her home when we went on a trip to Disney one year. On the cusp of our senior years we became close friends and confidants once again, It was just like when we were kids together except we talked about life, instead of dreams. I distinctly remember having a particularly serious discussion and afterwards thinking, just look at us having an adult discussion! It was quite a realization. We had grown up hadn't we? And now another realization strikes me, she is really gone. After the celebration, after the sharing of memories, her urn will be placed in the final resting place. In a way it is a closing of the door. Yes, of course she will always be with me, in my thoughts, in my heart and soul. But there is something about that final act that casts a shadow.
And so this is what is on my mind this morning as I make the final preparation for my drive south. Being a senior I do plan for such things. Gone are the days of just putting some gas in the car and heading out! No more cries of Road Trip! Have to get things organized, things done around the house. I'm haven't reached the age were Dr. appointments next month are a concern. It will be an emotional few days I'm certain of that. These are the times that test us. Are we as certain as we like to believe? And the truth is, only we will know that answer. Some things are only shared between you and your God. That is as it should be. A test of faith? Certainly a time that gives us pause to reflect.
"Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection into eternal life
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