better than bacon

 I saw it in a magazine and was reminded of the bacon cure. Well it was Reminesce magazine, so. It took a little while to dislodge that memory but there it was. Now the thing being cured in that article was a splinter. If you have a splinter that you just can't pull out because it is under the skin too far wrap a piece of bacon around it. Fasten the bacon with a piece of cloth or something like that. Leave it overnight. When you get up in the morning unwrap that and the splinter will have been drawn to the surface. I can't say from personal experience that it works but I can see that. When I was little Dad used bacon to cure me. I had a bit if a boil developing on my arm. It was wrapped with a piece of bacon and the next day that boil was drawn to a head. I'll spare you the details but suffice to say, it was " exercised " from my arm. A strip of bacon was also used to draw out poison. If you stepped on a nail or a piece of glass, after cleaning the wound up, wrap it with bacon. Works like a charm.
 Have you ever heard of such a thing? It is one of those old folk cures. Honestly I had forgotten about that until I read that story in a magazine. I don't recall any other cures like that from my childhood. Mostly it was mercurochrome and iodine. Ginger ale and crackers worked wonders too. Vicks vapo rub was employed on occasion. A visit to the doctor was a rare, and generally serious thing. You had to be pretty sick or hurt real bad. We never heard of anything like a wellness visit, why would you visit a doctor if you are well? I recall Dr. Zenger, a lady doctor, coming to the house when I had scarlet fever. Another time I got hit in the head with a clam, required a few staples, Dr. Abel, aka the slasher, fixed me up that time. And I did have to get a physical to obtain working papers. That was about the extent of my experience with doctors until I joined the Navy.
 I was raised in the fifties and sixties. We didn't go to the doctors very much in those days. There also wasn't a doctor for every ailment you had. You had your family doctor. If you needed a surgeon you'd get one at the hospital. Well, that's where they were. The idea of going to a doctor when there was nothing wrong with you seemed like a silly thing, at least in my house it was. Why waste money on that? You already knew you were feeling alright, don't need a doctor to tell me. What I needed the doctor for was to fix whatever was wrong.
 I am aware that I grew up in a rural area and the population wasn't all that great. But it doesn't seem like that many people were sick and going to the doctors. What I mean is, there wasn't a big waiting list or anything. I was young and so not aware of a lot of things, still, I never heard about folks abusing prescription drugs that much. I did hear a murmur or two about certain individuals that liked to stay a little spacey. It was a good thing though if you knew those people. When they weren't spacey, they could be a handful. I don't remember the year but remember getting the polio vaccine on a sugar cube. It was big deal. I don't know if the government mandated every child to be vaccinated but I believe everyone was. I figure it must have been free. I don't know if I ever got the TB vaccine as I don't have that round scar on my arm associated with that. I'm guessing I did at some point, the Navy sure gave me plenty of shots! I had measles and mumps I think, all the childhood diseases. That sort of stuff wasn't talked about a lot, it was no big deal. Scarlet fever was a big deal though, for some reason. I was just told, you'll be alright. That was always the final answer, you'll be fine. Something I thought about after saying my bedtime prayer, if I should die before I wake. I always figured I would die in my sleep if I didn't get killed somehow. Seemed like breaking your neck was a common way to go, Mom was always saying that, you'll break your fool neck! No cure for that.
 Well, Mom and Dad had the remedy for most things. The bacon trick was one of them. Graveyard stew was good for an upset stomach. Some people call that milk toast. As I said most times it was ginger ale and crackers. Band-Aids and iodine. Wrap it up, put ice on it. Wrap it up, put heat on it. Generally the diagnosis was, you're alright, go outside and play. Rarely was I ordered to bed for rest. No, the thing was to walk it off or just ignore it. Staying home from school sick? I don't think so. It must have happened at some time but not to my recollection. And I had a neighbor that made her own dandelion wine. She gave my sister and I a glass of it once saying, it's good for what ails you. It was better than the bacon. LOL.  
   

the right answer

 I am often told, in my many discussions, that everything isn't black and white. I understand that completely, there are many factors to consider when making a choice. My point is, and always will be, in the end you have to make a choice. In the end, everything is binary. There is light and dark, right and wrong. And on a side note there are only two sexes, that's binary as well. Consider this. Man has developed amazing machines able to calculate figures at tremendous speeds and retrieve information with the click of a few key strokes, we can even just ask. These machines operate how? On a binary system is the answer, right and wrong.
 It is easy enough to get lost in the data. We can talk about things forever. We can allow each new bit of information to change our mind, cause us concern and consternation. Still, in the end we are left with two choices. It's one way or the other. I firmly believe that is why the world was created in a binary fashion. In the beginning God made the heaven and the earth. Two places, two choices. He also made it light and dark. You either win or lose. Binary, all is binary. It is only man that attempts to change that rule.
 So when I hear, everything isn't black and white, what I hear you saying is, you haven't decided. You are still filtering the data, picking " one "  or " two " not having reached a conclusion. Or, at the very least a conclusion you are confident in. I can understand that, there are many things I haven't fully decided upon, but I have made a choice. That is the reason I have so many opinions. Some think that is annoying or whatever, but it is my feeling opinions are for sharing. No sense keeping them to myself, I always agree with them. That's no fun, no stimulation in that.
 Can wrong be right and right be wrong? Are there ever any circumstances that would result in that conclusion? No, the only way we arrive at that is through the use of what is called a logical fallacy. And man is great at creating those. The field of philosophy deals with that extensively. There are deductive and inductive fallacies. I have never studied philosophy. I have read bits and pieces of what known philosophers have said or written. I don't always agree with their conclusions. You really can pick and choose between any number of philosophers to obtain a desired answer, confirmation of your thought so to speak. I think, like Physiatrists, it depends upon which school of thought you attended. We have all heard of Freud. He is famous for saying man is solely motivated by pleasure. There are those before him and after, that feel differently about that. Gestalt and Wundt are two names. I admit to not knowing much about either of them. My point being simply this. All are schools of thought, which is right and which is wrong? Depends upon who you ask doesn't it? The ones giving you an answer have decided, they have chosen.
 I wandered off a bit there, forgive me. I was trying to explain a bit about thinking and thoughts. There really is no right or wrong way to think. I believe, however, that there is right and wrong. I believe what is right, is always right and what is wrong, is always wrong. I can , by using logical fallacies, perhaps convince you otherwise. I believe I am seeing this happen more and more everyday.
 There are classes being taught in an area called  " critical thinking. " Critical thinking in my world is the same thing as common sense. It is thinking devoid of emotion. Critical thinking is teaching someone how to do what? Think for themselves is the short answer. It does say something about our educational system when we have graduate of universities that require classes in critical thinking! That stems from our schools becoming more if an indoctrination than education. We are " teaching " the right answers. Yes on one level we call it teaching to the test and it is tied to funding. But I'm not thinking about that at the moment. What answers are we teaching? That there are no right and wrong answers, only correct responses. One could label it morality and ethics. Those subjects are not being taught. Only the correct responses. Consider gender dysphoria. What is the correct answer? It's fine, it's not a mental disorder. That wasn't the answer in years back. Interestingly however is this statement. " Gender dysphoria in adults and children is considered a disorder if the person also experiences significant distress or impairment in major areas of life as a result of the congruence. " That statement appeared in Phycology today magazine. So what are they saying here? Let's apply logic. Gender Dysphoria is a disorder if it bothers you. Okay, so what is it? A disorder or not? You can't have it both ways. Now considering the best statistics we have indicate about .6%, that right point six per cent. of the population experience gender dysphoria I fail to see, logically, how it is not a disorder. That thought has nothing to do with my feelings about those people, has nothing to do with anything other than a statistical fact. For me, .6% is a disorder, an aberration, a deviation from the norm. Should it be treated? Only if it bothers you is the current answer. Is gender dysphoria right? Is it wrong? It's wrong if we go by the stats. But I'm not supposed to say that am I. No, because it isn't the correct response. The correct response is, it's fine if you say it is fine. In that way I can be noncommittal and therefore unaccountable. And that is a logical fallacy! We are just as accountable for the actions we don't take, as the ones we do. And that is what judgement entails. When judgement comes you are either guilty or innocent! There is no intermediate area in judgement. Well unless you subscribe to the Catholic faith, then you can be in limbo. Maybe that is when God is still thinking about your fate, I don't know.
 Well once again I have rambled on about a topic and don't feel like I have reached a definitive conclusion. I was just thinking about right and wrong. I do believe things in the end are binary in nature. I believe they have to be that way. Any other way just creates chaos. People become confused with two many choices. You have to decide. I think perhaps true peace comes to those that decide. Is that the peace of God? It certainly can be. The only real question remaining is, can we be sure? Only if we decide for ourselves is my thought. I can be told the correct response, but that isn't always the right answer.    

tolerance

 I was having a discussion with my grandson when he brings up this concept. He says, laws can impose my morality on others. Now, his intention is to become a lawyer and he has interned with the States Attorney. Of course he is feeling a bit more qualified to speak of law than he believes I would be. I am, after all, old. I have never studied law or had an internship. To be fair, he is correct in those two statements, the old part is subjective. But it is an interesting thought and we talked at length about that. The discussion centered around the issue of abortion. He doesn't support that but being the true attorney he was defending the position of Roe V Wade. In short his argument really was that I had no right to impose my moral beliefs by making a law barring that practice. I countered with, he had no right to impose his morality on me. The question boiled down to, if I am not hurting anyone else by doing this shouldn't I be allowed to do it? Naturally my position is you are murdering a human being and that does indeed affect me. My morals are deeply offended by that action. It was then the issue of law and morality came up. The discussion pretty much ended there as he had places to go, things to do. He left me with something to think about and I hope I did the same with him. I offered this thought for his consideration. I wish it was an original one, but it isn't. I read it somewhere. " What we tolerate today, will be embraced by our children tomorrow. " In short, tolerance becomes acceptance.
 After he left I continued thinking about all of that. I think the question to be answered is, do governments have a base in morality? And if they do, what is the basis for that morality, what doctrine or creed? It is often spoken of, and used as an excuse in my opinion, this separation of church and state we enjoy in the United States. There are no state sponsored religious beliefs or practices. Now, the United States has always been a predominately Christian nation. I don't believe anyone can reasonably argue otherwise. I would also say our laws have been influenced by that. Ours is a government of the people, by the people and for the people. Abraham Lincoln is often attributed with that statement but it was first written by John Wycliffe in his prologue to his translation of the Bible. He said, " The Bible is for the government of the people, by the people, and for the people. "  I suggest Lincoln felt the same way. I think the founding fathers had similar thoughts as well, that the Bible was the basis for Government. John Wycliffe is also considered to be a precursor to the protestants, notably Martin Luther, as he opposed the power of the church. He did not believe that church leaders should wield the power and influence in government that they did. But I think it was more about the clergy demanding more money, lands and authority than the imposition of moral behaviors that concerned him. I think the founding fathers held the same concerns and that is why that separation was written into the Constitution.
 Presently my thinking is this; whatever moral values a country has is reflected in its' legislators. In the United States it has been traditional Christian values. Those values have changed over time and it is that I question. The reformation was mostly concerned with Papal authority and little was disputed about the dogma of Christianity. That has changed since the reformation, without doubt. And today I am seeing more and more change. I was astonished and wrote about it, some Christians are now using the Bible itself as justification for legalizing abortion! A reformation? Or is it an abandonment of principle? In that lies the question of government. Does government owe moral guidance to its' citizens? My position is that it should. What is the purpose of law? Is it to punish or instruct? Should law tell you what to do or what not to do?
 The next time I see my grandson we will discuss this further. I will present these arguments to him. It is a pleasure to have such talks with him even when the arguments heat up a bit. I believe it is important to his education and development. He doesn't have to agree with me but my feeling is he should. Isn't that the way we all feel? And I do hope he considers that statement about tolerance and what the implication there really is. Roe V Wade is a prime example of once you allow something it is very difficult to prohibit it in the future. We need to be very careful about what we legislate remembering it is not about winning the argument, it is about deciding what is the best course of action. The legal highway ends with our death, the moral highway stretches to eternity. We can never be certain of our destination, as that choice does not belong to us.

Tradition

 With Easter just around the corner the Peeps have arrived. I have a package on my desk right now. A small slit has been cut into the cellophane to allow for aging. That's because like a fine wine, peeps do require aging. Once you obtain just the right amount of staleness, they are ready to enjoy. My sister shared that love of a slightly hardened peep. Only people with the finest taste buds can discern such a delicacy. I still prefer the traditional chick but the bunnies run a very close second. Yellow of course.
 Now peeps have been readily available in the United States since 1953. That's the year I was born. Peeps were not the star in my Easter basket, that spot was the chocolate rabbit. The solid chocolate ones were the best, although rare. I usually got those hollow ones. Always starting at the ears and working my way down. I would pry the candies loose that formed his eyes or whatever. At some point the peeps did make an appearance in those Easter baskets, unwrapped they sat among the grass. The grass would be stuck to the edge that had been separated and I expect that is where I acquired the taste for them to be slightly stale. I didn't eat everything in one day, this basket of candy had to last. That candy was mine, in my Easter basket, as good as being in a safe. You were not allowed to touch anything in someone elses' basket! That was an unwritten rule, a sort of code of Easter. Worked like that with Halloween candy as well.
 I am aware that Peeps are available year round these days. They come in many shapes and sizes for all occasions. I will buy them occasionally but they are not the same as the Easter ones. It's a mental thing, I know that, but still the Easter chicks are the best. I think I may be unconsciously reserving those peeps for Easter to preserve a memory. Like everything else if you get it all the time it begins to lose its' luster. I do believe that is becoming a problem today, too much of everything, available all the time. Nothing is special anymore! My mother tells me when she was little getting an orange for Christmas was a special thing. Oranges were expensive and rare in the northeast in December. They weren't shipped north all the time like they are today. Something as simple as an orange became special. Peeps became special to me for a reason I can't explain. Perhaps it is as simple as I associate them with Easter.
 I have discovered it is the things we deny ourselves that often bring the greatest pleasure. All things in moderation. The Bible doesn't say that in those exact words but does encourage moderation in our nature. If you have it, whatever it is, everyday, it isn't special anymore, it is commonplace. I remember getting new clothes for Easter, that was special. You tried to keep them special for a while anyway, eventually they became everyday. Not one to buy a lot of clothes I still maintain that habit to an extent. I have my " good " clothes and my everyday ones. I still dress accordingly.
 Easter is later this year, spring has arrived already. My grandkids have reached an age where Easter baskets are not an important thing. Truth is they haven't been for a few years now. They are still young enough to not have sentimental memories of Easter though. That will come with the years. I have many pleasant memories of Easter, the basket and going to church. It was an exciting time. Easter will always include peeps for me. Luckily they are marshmallow so enjoying them shouldn't become an issue in my advancing years. Don't really need teeth to enjoy them. LOL Things to consider. I will try to refrain from buying the seasonal peeps, try to keep them as special. It can be difficult to deny yourself these things, but it is called adulting.
 Now you could say peeps at Easter are a tradition. They are a tradition to me anyway. What makes a tradition? Well I think traditions are nothing more than animated memories. They may be the collective memory or individual memories. Traditions don't have to be old to be valid. We tend to think of them that way though. Maybe that is because they are our memories and aren't memories old? Slightly stale yellow chicks, it's Easter. 

pay attention

 So what happened? Sixteen federal charges dropped without an explanation. Just like that! The court documents are sealed, his record expunged. It has been reported that the prosecutor received a 408,000 dollar donation for George Soros. If true, that seems a bit fortuitous now doesn't it? It's a fact that Jussie told Cook county to just keep the ten grand he posted for bail. Considering he also released a statement detailing that this was the " worst time in my life " and losing his television gig on Empire that certainly seems like a reasonable reaction. I'll give you a gift, thanks guys.
 Well now something here just doesn't make sense as far as I am concerned. I understand those two brothers are not considered suspects anymore. I haven't heard why that changed. Truth is, like everyone else, I haven't heard much about anything. I did hear the Police in Chicago are a bit upset by all of this. I can't help but wonder what that prosecutor is thinking? Surely she had to anticipate a big flap when she decided to drop the charges. I mean, c'mon this isn't a parking ticket we are talking about. Accusations were made, a three-week investigation followed, and an arrest was made. The grand jury was convened. Sixteen federal charges! And now, just like that, dismissed. Is this a political thing? If it isn't, it will soon be. Mueller didn't deliver the goods as expected, what a disappointment, is this payback? And with the records being sealed, zero transparency. Coincidence? Sure makes me suspicious.
 So let's see here. This Jussie Smollett just fills all the blanks doesn't he? He's black, he's gay, he's a liberal, he's an actor, and he felt like he was not getting his due. That much is known , for a fact. He wanted more money for his acting job, that is well known. He even wrote a letter to the studio about that. It didn't get the hoped for results. And then, in an instant, it all changes. He is attacked on a side street by, well thugs! The only thing missing was MAGA hats! That's pretty much how the crime was described. The implication was clear enough, all the blanks had been filled in, surely he would receive his just compensation, he was now a victim! But the wheels feel off that wagon and he was arrested. Oh my, even some of his liberal friends were distancing themselves from him. This wasn't working out according to plan. Perhaps what is needed is a hate crime therapist! Surely there is someone who is an expert in such things. What to do, what to do.
 Given all that I have already pointed out I am still puzzled by one other thing. Where is the lawsuit? Are you trying to tell me that Jussie Smollett was falsely arrested, his career damaged, his good name dragged through the mud, and his reaction is, keep the ten grand! Only one reason I can think of that a lawsuit isn't being filed, it would require the opening of the documents. It would require complete transparency of all evidence and events. Are you kidding me? I say it all the time, I'm not much of a conspiracy person but something here just isn't right. Chicago, Obama, George Soros, just a coincidence? It's beginning to sound a lot like a Clinton suicide! I'm left with a lot of questions. The biggest question is, to what end? What just happened here, it was for a purpose, it was deliberate. Is it to create a further divide? Jussie being a pawn in a larger game? Well, I'll leave that to speculation but I've got a pretty good memory. I'll be paying attention.

invested

 At 65 I don't think of myself as old. Age is a relative thing however. But I have accepted the fact that I'm not as young as I once was, funny how that works. In todays world where many people seem to believe in some alternate reality I'm certain even that will be questioned. Hey, some have decided there are more than two sexes, so it could happen. I have accepted that the old body needs a bit more attention and maintenance than it used to. It does have high mileage after all. And finally something I haven't accepted is that my values are somehow outdated. I don't believe I will ever grow that old. My morals and values were instilled in me as a child, and further distilled by life. I'm comfortable with the products so far and not easily swayed from them. It's true that there are times it would be a lot easier to just go with the flow, become compliant, but I've waited too long for this time to come. Been working on me for 65 years. I've decided! Really it is that simple.
 A portion of this thinking came from reading some very sad news on Facebook. It has been reported that a classmate of mine, a lady my own age, is now suffering from Alzheimer's disease. She is no longer able to operate her computer. My first thought was, but for the grace of God. A selfish thought? Yes it is, and one borne of fear. The fear strikes when reading about such things. I am fortunate indeed to have my faculties about me. Others may not agree with my opinions and question their validity, but I still have them. For that, I am grateful. I can not imagine what it would be like. How can anyone know that? Until you have lived it, I suggest you cannot. All I can do is pray for her. And even then, I'm not certain what to pray for other than a healing. It's a sobering thought and a sobering realization.
 Another part of this thinking stems from quite another place. It is a place of contentment. When you are happy and content with the majority of your choices, age is just a number. If you aren't happy with your past, age can become a burden. Time is running out! That is a reality as well, and one that we all need to come to terms with. It is something we can't control, although there are those that would attempt to do so. There are even those that would assist in that effort calling it compassion. But that is a difference in philosophy, not in reality. Still our philosophical outlook has to be shaped by our moral and ethical values. The values instilled in us during our youth. Did those values come from a place of love, or a place of convenience? Did they stem from what was felt to be right, or from what was allowed? They really are different places. Does appeasement breed love? No, I don't believe it does. Not even love of self.
 Something I see today that I find troubling is this attitude of entitlement. It is being preached every day. You are entitled to this or that. The fact is, you are entitled to exactly what you have earned. The real problem lies in understanding that you don't get to set the wage. That is determined by others. Combine that with the notion that I should somehow feel guilty for my own success and what do you get? Confusion mostly. I should get this or that, I'm entitled to it! But by being entitled to it I am denying that from others! I should feel guilty about that and give whatever YOU own away. I don't have to give mine though, just convince others to share. In that way I can assuage my own guilt. I spoke up for the disadvantaged. See the confusion there? Not unlike some Evangelists that insist you give your money to the Church as they live in a mansion with private jets to fly them about. The message is, you give, not me.
 And what has all of this have to do with anything? Nothing really, just my thoughts and opinions. I'm thinking that man has begun to way overthink everything. If we were to employ more common sense and logic we certainly wouldn't have all the issues we do. But no, we have to analyze and get expert opinions on everything. Fact is, you don't need an expert to determine common sense. Even an idiot knows when it is raining! He may not know what causes that rain but he knows its' raining! Does it make a bit of difference? No, it doesn't. Will the words I write, my thoughts shared, make a difference? Probably not, and that's alright. I'm convinced I haven't said anything that hasn't been said before. The only thing different may be in the way you hear it. Life really isn't all that complicated. You'll get back what you put in. The question is, are you happy with your investment? 

sad and angry

 I read yesterday of a tragic occurrence. A nineteen year old girl that survived the Parkland school shootings committed suicide. It was speculated that she suffered from PTSD. That's post traumatic stress disorder to be perfectly clear about it. There are so many anagrams in use today that I believe we should start spelling things out once again. I was saddened to hear of this, as I am anytime I hear of someone taking their lives. I can't imagine being in that place, where you think death is an answer. It does seem to be a choice made a lot more frequently these days. It seems especially true among our youth. The experts study and debate about the causes for this. I'm certainly no phycologist or mental health professional of any description but I have my own ideas about this.
 I believe it is related to way we are raising our children today. Children are being told all the time about how tragic everything is. And I mean everything. They are also being taught to react in extreme fashion.
 Just look at it. Today kids, middle school children and in some cases earlier, are encouraged to protest! Yes, instead of being encouraged to talk about an issue, they are told to protest. How many walk-outs did you hear about in schools just a few years back? You didn't. How many times did you hear about parents appealing to the school board, demanding their child not be punished for bad behaviors, or being allowed to behave in ways that disrupt the class. My child doesn't have to say the Pledge or remain silent while others pray. And when something bad happens a flood of counselors are summoned to the school. Vigils are held and memorials erected. All of these action contribute to extreme reactions, in my opinion! No different than when Mom would swoop in when you got a scratch! In years past it was, here's a kiss to make it all better, some iodine , and you're fine. Today we have to summon an entire medical team, hand sanitizer, gloves and masks, anti-biotics, bed rest. The kids are more traumatized by the reaction than the event itself! And it is that that they are learning, to over react and act in extreme fashion. Everything being life and death these days. Little Johnny has a peanut butter sandwich! Lock the school down, peanut allergy alert! Protest and ban peanut butter and any peanut products from the entire school grounds. Little Bobby pulled little Rachels' ponytail. It's a sexual assault! And God help us all if everyone doesn't get an award at the awards assembly!
 It's so sad to hear about these kids taking their lives. But we hold some responsibilty for that. We are teaching them to react in such extreme manners. Never mind the video games, never mind the " bullying " and never mind social media. If we don't teach our children how to respond in a calm and reasonable fashion to things this trend will only increase. We need to quit telling the children that everything is fair! It's not, it never will be, learn to deal with it. We are teaching our children to be mental weaklings. Now we have young adults offended by statues! Think about that. I'm so offended by a statue that I have to find a " safe space " and be isolated from the world! And then we wonder why so many attempt to escape by killing themselves.
 In the case of that young lady that survived the Parkland school shooting it was reported she suffered from PTSD. After WW2 it was called shell shock, the reaction to a traumatic event. Certainly you can understand where that would affect a person. But I also think if you tell people that is what you will get, every time, that is what will happen. It's a self fulfilling prophesy. Teach the children that after every traumatic event you will need mental help and that's exactly what you will get. Teach them that they are victims, helpless and now entitled to compensation! The reaction will be extreme. Teach children that everything should be modified to suit you. Children being taught that animals are like our children? Animals certainly shouldn't be abused, we can certainly form an attachment to an animal, but animals are not our children! Extreme reactions to everything. Our highways are being lined with crosses now, the scene of the accident, because we need to memorialize the spot. We even have bumper stickers , In Memoriam " these days. Extreme? I think so. What is the message being sent? If you are not making a big fuss of some type, you are not serious. That's why we see the protests, the name calling, hollering , screaming and extreme acts that we see today.
 Well that's my opinion anyway. We are giving our children PTSD by the reactions we take in response to everything and anything. The kids are being stressed out by the adults. Instead of the adults giving the kids reassurance, comfort and self confidence they are being told, it's tragic, call a grief counselor, hold a vigil, protest and demand change. We are teaching them to be victims! Oh the line is, I'm a survivor but the underlining message is clear enough, I was a victim first! Can't be a survivor without first being the victim. We had better quit teaching our children to be victims! 

what remains

 I thnk the hope is to leave something behind. Isn't that what we all want? We know that we all will go one day, it's inevitable, but we want to leave something of ourselves behind. It isn't money or material things that last though, its' memories. Memories that become stories, that turn into tales, that become legend. From legend springs a legacy. Interesting how the words connect. Interesting too is that the word legacy is defined as property or money left to someone in a will. Well, that's one way of defining it anyway. In modern times that isn't how we think of a legacy however, we tend to think of a legacy as more of an ethereal thing. It is similar to inheritance and heritage. We inherit money and property as a part of our heritage, yet, we don't think of heritage as either of those things. It can be confusing at times.
 I woke up thinking about these things. I suppose in response to yesterdays posting. I have received a ladys' pendant watch. My sister had been the caretaker of that for a number of years. She received it as part of an inheritance. Although the origins of the watch are clouded in mystery to a degree, it is something left behind. I can't place the object with a particular person but nevertheless it connects me to my heritage. It serves as a reminder, not of my sister, but of that heritage. I think it is the responsibilty of each of us to preserve a portion of our inheritance, our heritage, for future generations. We should tell the stories as best as we remember. It's true that objects may make it easier, but we need to remember it is not the objects we want remembered. That is a distinction often lost. The objects are just the vehicle, not the destination.
 Material things can aid in the telling of the story no doubt about that. They are visual aids. That's what they were called when I was in school, show and tell. I guess the kids still do that these days although I think it would be a far more risky proposition. I recall bringing a captured Nazi flag to school and that didn't go over well, even in the 1960's, today I'm afraid counselors would have to be summoned! That flag was brought back from Germany as a war prize, nothing more. A small part of the story. Heritage or inheritance? Both I would say. The importance lies in the telling of the tale not in the object itself. But then visual representations are the proof aren't they? Isn't that what we perceive? Like a doubting Thomas, we want to see proof.
 But I'm thinking now that it isn't what we leave behind that matters, rather, it is what remains. Seems like the same thing when you first consider that sentence. What is the difference? The difference is your presence. Our bodies will leave this earth but our presence doesn't have to. It remains as long as memory allows it too. Can we imprint our presence into an object? No, I don't think we can. Our presence must be placed there by someone else. And that is the very reason some objects are treasured while others get lost.
  As the generations pass our presence becomes harder to detect. Those visual aids help in that regard. I have a postcard written by my grandmother and when I read it, held it in my hand, I felt a connection. Now, this grandmother, my fathers mom, passed away three days after his birth. Yet, I felt her presence. Something left behind? Something left for me to discover? No, I think it is just something that remains. Something I am attuned too.
 And so the question for me is, can we decide what remains? No, I don't believe we have control over that. What remains will be what was accepted. It is the things we offer during our life that others get to choose from. For that reason we should exercise discretion in what is offered. Do not present things you wouldn't want others to keep. We can draw up legal documents to disperse our wordily goods, but there are no documents for a legacy. We can't dictate what others remember. We don't decide what remains. Our objects may remain, for generations, and yet our presence absent without the story. So offer yourself, if that is what you wish to remain. That's my advice.
  

artifacts and possibilites

 It recently came into my possession. My sister had been its' caretaker for a number of years, but with her passing I was honored to take over that duty. Actually it was offered to me and I accepted gratefully. This object comes with a bit of mystery. The true history of it has not been recorded. I do know that it came down through the family from my Great Grandfathers home. I believe I have seen it in a picture but haven't been able to locate that picture. So, what is this mystery object? It is a ladys' pendant watch.
 Maybe you aren't familiar with that. A pendant watch looks very much like a pocket watch although it is much smaller. In the later part of the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries they were quite the popular thing. A lady would pin that pendant watch to her dress when going out. The one I have was made by the Elgin watch company. I'm certain you have heard of them. Did you know they went out of business in 1968? I was surprised to learn that. But this one was manufactured in 1894. I was able to find that information on the web. Amazing to me that I was able to do that so easily. I just opened the back of the watch and wrote down the numbers engraved on the works. I cross referenced that number to find it was made in 1894. I also discovered that a total of 74,000 of that particular model was manufactured over the years. I was also able to learn that the case is gilded, not gold and the movement has 11 jewels. At the time of manufacture it was a mid-level watch. Its' value today is more as a curiosity than anything else. The case is quite beautiful and the face is porcelain.
 That much I know for certain. It is documented in the records of the Elgin watch company. As to the origins of it in my family, that is where speculation enters the picture. As I mentioned I believe I have a picture of Great, Great Grandmother Agnes wearing such a watch. Whether it is the same one, is the mystery. They were quite popular and an everyday thing during that time. I expect it was much like wearing a wrist watch, everybody had one. I'm fairly certain that it came from Great Grandfathers house and great, great grandmother did live there for a while. Her daughter, my Great Grandmother Lucy lived there and in fact passed away in that house. So, it is entirely possible that the watch was handed down mother to daughter, eventually going to my sister, Lucy's' great granddaughter. If nothing else it makes a great story. I intend to house it in a shadow box with the information I know attached. I figure it has been around for 125 years now and deserves a spot on the wall.
 I will continue to look for that picture and see if I can determine anything more. No one is around that could shed any further light on this object from the past. Still I somehow feel a connection to that past whenever I hold it. There is a sort of magnetism drawing me to discover more. It is kinda funny to think about. I have begun to view some of my treasures as artifacts. How old does something have to be to be considered an artifact? See what I mean, it's kinda strange. I have a few things that belonged to my Father and now they are artifacts. Good grief, that just sounds weird doesn't it?
 Whatever the case may be I do enjoy having these things and speculating about their past. So little of everyday life gets recorded and that is why it is lost. We tend to document and retell the big stories, often embellishing them as the years go by. The everyday stuff, that which we take for granted often gets forgotten. Still it is those things, the everyday stuff that we reminisce about. That is the reason some collect certain items. They may or may not have the object they owned all those years ago, but just holding one brings the memory back. Now I never had a ladies pendant watch before, I don't recall ever holding one. The only memory I have is of an old photograph with a lady wearing such a watch. Why should I remember that? That's another mystery all in itself. Why do we remember such trivial things? Perhaps it is a voice from the distant past speaking to me. That it is a device for marking time is not lost on me. Presently it isn't working. Perhaps I should get it repaired, allow it to mark time once again. I wouldn't want time to run out! Well, makes for a good story I think, a harmless tale of possibilities. Artifacts and possibilities, no reason they shouldn't be shared.

Not the clearest picture but you get the idea.

reminders

 After a certain age it seems the Doctor's appointments just seem to stack up. It is fortunate, in todays world, that we have so many ways to be reminded. I get notifications on the computer and by text message. When filling out the myriad of forms and questionnaires the question will invariably be asked, what's your e-mail address and primary phone number, and do you have a cell phone? I believe the incidence of people not having an e-mail address is growing ever fewer. My Mom does not have an e-mail address. 

 I always sign up for the appt. reminders to be sent to my phone. I am most likely to see them there. Yesterday I kept getting a reminder for a particular appt. I got a reminder the day before, and then three times during the day. The last one I got included this phrase. To stop receiving these reminders  text stop. The appt was less than an hour away and I felt confident that I would remember. I texted stop! Wasn't two minutes later I got a message, we got your message about stopping these reminders, did you want to stop these reminders? I lost it for a second, yelling at the phone, stop! Then I started ranting at my wife about it. Well on the plus side we didn't miss the appointment. 

 I haven't taken the time to learn how to do the reminder thing on the computer. An older version of Windows had a handy calendar for that but not windows ten. I guess it is still there somewhere but I don't know. I discovered it once on my phone as well but it's lost once again. They do give out the cards just like the old days and I have them on the refrigerator. It's difficult to keep track though when appts are months in advance. I remember the days I used to carry a little black book. Had names and phones numbers in there. Now I carry a list of my medications! The list of specialists seems to grow every year. My primary physician is really just the coach of the team. He directs the plays and send players in and out. And all of these doctors are connected through the " patient portal " where your information is stored. Strangely every one of them ask the same questions every time you go. I've noticed in the last few years they all ask if you feel depressed. Of course I do, have you seen what you charge ? Then they want to know if you think about killing yourself. Uh no, that's why I'm here, trying to stay alive if I can afford it! 

 I make a conscious effort to not stress out about this stuff. My mother, like a lot of other senior citizens, worries about her appointments. If she has one within a week she will not leave home. I've got an appointment! I am fortunate that I'm never going to be a senior. I was named after my father and so will forever be junior. I didn't name my sons after me so there are no thirds just junior. That is the logic I choose to apply. I do find it a bit troubling when I go to these appointments and the receptionist calls me by my first name. I get a feeling that we are getting just a little too chummy. Not that the receptionists aren't nice people, people I would like to hang out with, but well, you know. They do know some of your secrets. That and you have already told them you don't drink, you don't smoke,  you don't use street drugs, and you try to eat right! Who wants to hang out with that person? Better to just sit quietly and wait your turn.

 Well today my wife has a follow up appointment and so that will take a good portion of the day. We have to travel to his second office, just a bit farther then the one we were at yesterday. Amazing isn't it how these doctors have several offices these days. I guess you just go where the money is. We are going to a ophthalmologist, not to be confused with an optician, I understand they are a bit touchy about that. As I said, we saw him yesterday. I was surprised that he was dressed in scrubs. I guess all the doctors dress in scrubs these days. Well, my primary doctor doesn't but he is an exception. I've noticed even the receptionists these days are dressed in scrubs. I'll have to put you on hold while I perform this operation! Why are they in scrubs? I don't know, I guess to make them look official or something. Saves on the wardrobe though. 

 I haven't received any reminders about todays appointment so far. I wonder if I opted out of all reminders or was it just for the one yesterday. I'm never quite certain about this stuff. It can all be very confusing. Oh well, we will get through today alright. I've already got the card on the refrigerator for Tuesday! Yup, another appointment on Tuesday. I'll set a reminder. LOL      

justification

 And once again I am amazed at the logic some people use to justify their actions. I hadn't heard this one before. The Bible says that life begins with the first breath, therefore its' alright to abort children  anytime before that happens. The logic there being, you are not alive while you kick and wiggle in the womb! Nope, not alive, the Bible says so. That comes from Exodus and it was also pointed out that if a man causes harm to a woman and she loses her baby,  the punishment is not the same as killing someone. That's in Exodus too. I admit to not being overly familiar with those Bible passages. I did go and read them following that discussion. Yes, that is what it says, no doubt about it. The question is, is that what it means?
 I don't pretend to be a Biblical scholar or theologian. I do give much thought to such thighs, more so the older I get. I tend to view the old testament as a history book more than a guideline for living. You do have to know the history. But God established a new covenant with man, the new testament. That doesn't mean the old testament was invalidated, just that it is the foundation. You could call the new testament an update I suppose. And so I went into the new testament to see what it has to say about life. I read where John said: " It is the spirit that gives life, the flesh profits nothing: the words which I have spoken to you are spirit and are life. "  So let's apply the same logic used in the first case. Well, life doesn't begin until you have the spirit. How do you get this spirit? More importantly, when do you get this spirit? Does this mean that if it is determined that you don't have the spirit, you are not alive? And then I read where Mathew said: Now the birth of Jesus was as follows, when his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found to be with child by the holy spirit. Is this the spirit that gives life? It sounds logical enough to me. It naturally follows that the spirit gives life to everyone, therefore you are alive from conception! That's how I read that anyway.
 I went through this process to investigate and try to understand how anyone could justify abortion using the Bible. The person I was talking too assured me he was a good Christian and believed his place in heaven was assured. The Bible says life begins with the first breath! I was astonished as I hadn't heard this theory before and I've had a few discussion on the subject. Apparently this argument has been around a while as there are numerous essays, blogs and opinions on it posted to the internet. I have always applied logic and reason to the question. The Bible is a book that either you believe or you don't. You can't really substantiate your beliefs based solely on that. If the other person doesn't believe those words, or assigns a different meaning to the words, you have no common ground to stand upon. Knowing that, I apply logic.
 When I plant a seed is that not with the belief the plant will grow? Of course it is, otherwise why bother. So logically I would say life begins then. I can't see where it is any different with a human embryo. Once fertilized, life begins. As to whether that life contains a spirit, that is a question unanswered for me. I harbor no doubt that it is life however. So what are we really talking about? Biology is what we call that. It's a basic biological fact proven by science. Does science say a fertilized egg isn't alive? But the question is, can we just kill that life? That is where the discussion begins.
 We are talking about a human life here though, not a plant. Does anyone have a right to terminate a life? I could refer to the Bible where it is specifically stated, Thou shalt not kill. That's what it says, in the old testament, there in the history. But you say you don't believe the Bible. Okay, what about Jefferson or Monroe or any number of the signers of the declaration of independence? They wrote, " We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" They applied logic and reason to state, every man has a right to life. It is self evident! They say that life is endowed by their creator. Endowed means given. Who is the creator?
 I don't believe it is possible to use the bible as justification to kill the unborn. Life begins with the first breath? Alright that is what is written but what does it mean? The baby is fed and receives all nourishment through the umbilical cord. That includes the oxygen necessary to sustain life. So, is not the child breathing? Does the method of receiving that life sustaining oxygen make a difference? Using logic I would have to say, no, no it doesn't. 

Spring

 Spring arrives this afternoon and with it a change in routine. As the weather warms, a welccome bit of climate change, the focus will shift to out of doors. The daffodils have been up for a few days already, along with the spring onions. It won't be long before the grass cutting begins. That fist cut will be filled with the scent of those onions. But, before that I do have to service the mower. As it ages each year, I have to do just a little bit more to keep her going. I take it as a challenge! It's a fine machine and part of the family. Well, besides that it is my sons' mower, I don't have any grass of my own to mow I live in an apartment. Gets me out of the house.
 The wife and I decorate our deck every year. It's undergoing a bit of a renovation right now, weather being the hold up. As soon as they are done we will begin. Every year we purchase some hanging plants. ferns mostly and a few other varieties. I have a planter that goes on the handrail and I'm thinking this year I will fill it with impatient. I figure that way it will match my mood lately, impatient. I'm ready for the warmer weather. This past winter was cold but not with an abundance of snow. I don't recall shoveling anything this year. We have had plenty of rain though and more is on the way. The farmers will be happy anyway, at least for a while. Farmers seldom stay happy for long, it's too hot, it's too dry, it's too wet, it's always something! Well that's the way it goes every year. Speaking of farmers I have seen a few turning up the ground, I guess the corn will go in soon. I know little about farming. I always say if you relied on me to grow anything we would all starve to death! Or at the very least it would be meat and fish only.
 So welcome spring, a new beginning. Time to get out in the sun and replenish ourselves. I am somewhat solar powered, you can call me a hybrid! Coffee and sunshine get me going. There were days when alcohol was the fuel, but those days are long gone. Sweet tea works well. I am looking forward to cooking out a few times and maybe go fishing or crabbing. We'll see what the weather brings. Happy Spring everyone.     

writing for a reaction

 Writing for a reaction. That is what I believe a lot of articles I read on Facebook are designed to do. This is especially true with articles published by my left leaning friends. The reaction I believe they are trying to incite is anger. But it is more than just anger, it is anger combined with disgust! That's the way I read it anyway when I see some of those headlines. I also believe they are counting on folks not to read the actual story because the story is often contradictory to what the headline says. That is what really irritates me. I often leave a comment about that, usually it is MSN that is the culprit. I have taken to referring to MSN as mostly stupid nonsense. But I'm not writing this to bash MSN. I am writing about this because I find it irritating. So, I guess you could say, they got their reaction. It's just that it is a bad one.
 I think it is fair to say all writing is done for a reaction. You write to illicit a response of some kind from your reader. It makes no difference whether you are trying for laughs, sympathy, empathy or anger, the object is to get a reaction. The sad reality is if you want to gain attention, create a disturbance. If you can get people upset and angry, move them to action, that is the beginning of control. People often don't think clearly when angry! I have said it before, " anger is a great motivator but a poor guide. " It is also true that anger is the easiest reaction to gain. You don't have to be much of a journalist or author to get folks upset. The quickest way to do that is speak about religion and politics. We all know that and yet most of us still get upset about it! I know I do despite trying not you. Anger is a powerful tool.
 I read the articles and listen to the newscasters today and generally what I hear are articles designed to get you angry. That's why everything these days is a conspiracy. A conspiracy implies what? There are forces at work behind the scenes, and those forces are not working for good. The intent is to create an atmosphere of distrust. If I can keep you suspicious, wary, and a bit afraid I can control you. I can get you to agree to certain things that you wouldn't ordinarily agree to you at all. And that is the plan of the left, in my opinion. All under the guise of keeping you safe. Well, that and how you are somehow being mistreated. The rich people have more money, certain religions and races are oppressing others. It's all so very unfair! You should be angry about all of that! And man is now destroying the environment! But who is responsible? Depends upon who I make you made at doesn't it? Isn't that the truth of it? Hasn't that always been the truth? Stretching all the way back to Kindergarten, it all depends upon who makes you mad at whom. Facts seldom mattered then, and it seems facts very seldom matter today when it comes to the left.
 Even a cursory review of history will prove that out. Take the American revolution as an example. The British government was in control and indeed there were loyalists living in the states. All was going fairly well until what happened? The British started taxing commerce. That was the news feed of the day wasn't it? No taxation without representation! Articles were written and published to do what? Anger the colonists! That was the purpose of those articles, to get the people mad at the British. It worked just fine, a revolution was created. Those loyal to the crown were upset because their revenue stream was going to be interrupted. They were fat dumb and happy with things just the way they were. Others, the revolutionaries, wanted more, they wanted it all. A break from Britain was the only answer. How to accomplish that was the problem. Well, let loose the rheprtic! Flyers were printed, protests staged and the anger mounted.
 Today we look back on that as the glorious American Revolution. The fight for right, for freedom, and for everything good in the world. We take all of that as just and pure to this day. I fly my flag proudly as a symbol of all that. It's the very reason I pledge Allegiance and the very reason I swore to defend her ( the nation ) against all enemies foreign and domestic. I'm still a little mad at the British! And now I am seeing the same propaganda being spread. It's all about freedom ( choice ) isn't it? That's what those on the left want you to believe. They want you to believe you can choose to do wrong and no one can tell you otherwise. The line today really is, you can do whatever you like as long as we can control you. That's the agenda of the left, control. You can call it socialism or some other name but the object is control. The quickest way to control the population is to control what? The money! It started a revolution two hundred and forty four years ago and is capable of starting one today. The only difference now being, we aren't complaining about taxes imposed. We will pay our taxes, but that tax revenue must be evenly distributed among the people. Doesn't matter if you contribute to the tax pool, that's not important. The importance lies in the government controlling the money, we must not have individual citizens having too much money! Independent, wealthy citizens are a threat to government control. That's what happened to the British control of the colonies. Independent, wealthy Americans started a revolution! Was the motivation America and Apple Pie? No, the motivation was money and it was fueled by anger. The left wants power, to control the government and by extension to control the people. That's what it is all about. That's also why it is important for them to control the narrative, to control the media.
 Now I don't believe the majority of Americans will be fooled . I do believe that sooner or later there will be another revolution , of sorts. Yes, unfortunately it will include civil unrest. There will be wrongdoing from both sides of the aisle. There are always those that take things to the extreme. Eventually, extreme responses occur. History is fraught with such happenings. But I think in the end common sense and level heads will prevail. Those behind our revolution of 1775 were thoughtful folks, hence the Declaration and Constitution. They stated the reason clearly and concisely for reacting the way they did. Many petitions to the Crown were made before that resolution was decided upon. The Constitution was designed to prevent government from taking control away from the people. Yes, that was the intent. The constitution was not designed to give power to government! We the People have that power. We are all familiar with these words: " We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union. establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. "
 Note that it says, promote the general welfare, provide for the common defense. It doesn't mean everyone gets the same thing! It doesn't mean individuals, it means the whole. We have to legislate for the common good, not special interest groups.
 I started this blog with the sentence, Writing for a reaction. I'm hoping the reaction I get is that people will read this and think about what I'm saying. That's the reason I write, to share my thoughts. 

time will tell

 On Saturday the wife and I accompanied our grandson and his parents, as he made his commitment to Stevenson University. I believe that is the proper term to use, commitment. Signing the agreement and giving them a check he is officially enrolled. It's an exciting time for sure. Of course we all stood there with similar thoughts, where has the time gone? Can this be real? The school mascot, a Mustang, the horse not the car, showed up for the signing. There were congratulations all around. We made a brief visit to the University gift shop to pick up some gear and headed back home. Next up, high school graduation.
 We all say it. Time flies. It certainly seems to, that can't be denied. I remember well taking Mark to pre-school. It was an amazing thing to be there, taking him to college! Technically taking him to University. To say I'm proud of him is an understatement. He has received a scholarship and it is for being a scholar! Not to diminish the accomplishments of athletes but in my way of thinking scholarships should be for scholastic achievements. Yes I know a great football team or whatever helps to pay the bills. I understand that is why the colleges and universities invest in those players. Education is, after all, big business. That has always been so and will always be so. Takes money.
 Now Mark, like thousands of other students across the country, will have to take out loans to pay for his education. It's a simple fact of life. Like everything, if it is worth having, it is worth investing in. Education is no different. And that is what those loans are, an investment in the future. We have to understand that with all investments comes risk. Presently Mark is interested in pursuing a career in law. In short, being an attorney. Is it a career worth investing in? I'd say lawyers are always going to be in demand, judging by history. I certainly hope he stays the course. As to having to take out loans, invest in your future I'd say that is as it should be. I agree with free public education through the twelfth grade. Maryland has passed legislation providing free education at the community college. I don't know the details on that program. But I do think that by having to make a commitment, assuming the responsibilty of a loan, it does encourage students to study! Yes, some think that it is an old fashioned idea, this concept of education preparing you for the real world, but I don't believe that. I believe when you have things just handed to you, you don't appreciate those items as much. Simply put, what value is something that is free? When every person has a college degree of what value are those degrees? Mark is assuming that responsibilty and is very much aware of it. Yeah, I'm bragging but I'm telling the truth of it.
 Well, time will once again tell. Time always tells, as it can't keep a secret. We are now looking forward to high school graduation and a summer to remember. He tells me school will begin again sometime in August. He is looking forward to that. I'm hoping the summer drags on and on. Time and relativity, Einstein spoke of it at length. He even suggested that time travel may be possible. I can't decide which direction I would like to go. I could go back, relive the past and that would be great. On the other hand I go forward and see how it all turns out. I suppose I could go both ways if time travel were possible. Then I wouldn't have to decide at all. When I started posting these blogs Mark was in elementary school, now he is signed up for college! Where does the time go?        

it's criminal

 I keep hearing about the big scandal. Rich folks using their money to influence college admission for their children. Well, who would have ever thought such a thing was possible. I'm certain this has only begun since Trump took office! And movie stars have been doing it too. At least one has already lost her job with the Hallmark channel. That's because the Hallmark channel stands for everything wholesome and right, everything that is America. Serves her right and both her daughters are suffering now as the result. I mean, just who would have believed any of this just a few days ago?  

 Okay, so that was my attempt at sarcasm. Seriously, is anyone surprised at all? I for one most certainly am not. The rich, the well to do, the famous have always used those assets to get what they want. Look, it is really a simple thing to understand. What's the point of having money if you can't buy what you want? Isn't that what money is for in the first place? And if I can leverage my money or fame to my advantage I'm certainly going to do so. That's reality. The only thing I was surprised about is that all at once it became such a heinous crime. When did that happen? If I am running a private institution do I have to be fair? Sure the government has made anti discrimination laws to prevent abuse. I wasn't aware the government had made laws about making poor folks equal to rich folks! Isn't that what this really is about. It's not fair. Since when has it ever been fair? There are the haves and the have nots. Always have been and always will be. Oh, I know it's not that way in socialism is it? Yeah, take a look at any socialist country and tell me everyone gets equal treatment. The haves are in government, everyone else has not! 

 Okay so now I can't slip the maître d' twenty bucks to get seated first or to get that corner table. Hey, that's not fair. Get in line, like everyone else. I can't be refused entry into any club or organization because I can't afford the dues, that's not fair. Why should someone else get to join just because they can pay for the membership? That should apply to club clubs and gyms' as well. Well, because anyone that has more money than I do is rich, comparatively speaking. And if they use that money to gain entry well how is that different? Please don't get me started on the famous people. I have never been one to be star struck. Still, I'm aware that those folks always get preferential treatment, when they didn't, that was news. My how the times have changed.

 I can't help but wonder what is behind this. Why now? I'm not much of a conspiracy person but something sure seems funny about this. Could this be some attempt to cause a further divide? Split the rich and famous from everyone else. A certain political party is always talking about the equitable division of wealth. Now, I'm hearing the wealthy are using their money to gain an advantage over us poor folks! My response is, yeah and what else is new? As we hear more and more about how government should provide free health care, free housing, and free education this just pops up! Everyone should be able to go to Harvard, Yale, Stanford, or any other Ivy League school! That admission should be based upon what? Intelligence or need? Or whether you are an elite athlete or just a sandlot player? I don't know just seems strange to me. After two hundred years or so, it's not fair. By that measure I should get a Rolls Royce because I can only afford a Pinto!! It's not fair to use their money to get " better " than I have. I should get a mansion, with a swimming pool. And just why do I have to eat at McDonalds and not the Waldorf? Not fair. 

 Yeah I know, it's not fair. News flash, it has never been fair, it will never be fair! Quit your crying and deal with it. As long as there are people, it will never be fair. There will always be those that have more than you. There will always be those that receive more than you by virtue of wealth or heritage. Some will achieve fame and be fawned over. Hey, it happens! Imagine using your money, position or power to influence others. That's unbelievable, why it's criminal!    

the written word

 I was reminded yesterday about the writing of letters. It is my thinking that many of the kids today will never know that singular thrill of getting a letter in the mail. As a child I received few letters but I did get cards. It was always an exciting thing to get a piece of mail. It was stressed at my house, if that letter was addressed to you, it was illegal for anyone else to open it! We were led to believe the FBI or somebody would come and arrest you. That added importance to that letter. I believe my sister tried the pen-pal thing but wouldn't swear to that. I recall at one time that was a popular thing. I doubt that happens today, now it would snap chat or whatever the kids are using. I'm thinking the accessibility of contact with strangers from all over the world, instantly, has undermined that excitement. Truth is I hear more about the abuse of that technology than I hear good about it. Well, we always have a way of abusing technology is some fashion. It's human nature I suppose and nothing to be done about that. I also believe that the instant response is a detriment. Anticipation of a letter or card is a wonderful feeling. It does teach patience as well. Patience is something that is definitely missing in todays world. " Patience is the companion of wisdom " ( Saint Augustine ) I certainly see a lack of wisdom these days. It appears both have taken a hike!
 I have always admired the written word. I think that may be because it takes longer to write your thoughts down than it does to just speak them. Written words are a great deal more durable as well. That was especially true before we started recording everything. Still, I am told that every text, every message we send, is stored somewhere and can be retrieved. Watching the news I am beginning to believe that. It is amazing what investigators turn up these days. But it is the thought that goes into writing that I admire. I seldom write letters to anyone although I have done so in the last few months. I didn't type them out and print them, no, I put pen to paper and wrote. I had to go slowly, carefully forming my letters in the hope the recipient will be able to decipher the code. And isn't that what writing really is? It's a code. While going slowly it also forced my mind to slow down a bit, to give a bit more thought to what it is I was saying. Is that the proper word? Have I conveyed my thought? It is easy enough to send the wrong message, no pun intended, when you don't explain your thought clearly. The written word truly is a two edged sword, you need to exercise care when wielding it.
 As a final thought I think maybe these kids today will never get a real letter in their lifetime. They will get bills, advertisements and offers for insurance instead. That's about all that comes in the U.S. mail these days. Flyers addressed to current occupant! How impersonal can you get? Perhaps they wil receive a greeting card but maybe just an e-card. I'm not certain but I don't think they grade the kids on penmanship anymore. I wonder if they still teach about the proper form to use when writing correspondence. Do they teach about the salutation? I admit to not remembering a lot of that but I do remember the basic premise. And that premise was cordiality. Correspondence was to be conducted in a cordial fashion, even when sending threatening letters about overdue bills. I do take heart though in knowing that the written word is still admired above all else. I believe that holds true even today. We may read them on tablets or computer screens, some even have the machine read the words for them, but the written word is there, permanent and binding. Isn't that why we say, a man's word is his bond? Yes, today you had best have that word notarized, but the intent is the same. Once I give my " word " whether in writing or verbally, it is binding. Also the reason we all like to have the last word.  

survival

 My heart has been heavy these past few days. This morning I thought I would share some thoughts on a lighter subject, Facebook. It was the day before yesterday when there were issues. From what I understand problems were experienced for fourteen hours. I remember being annoyed that I was unable to post, thinking it was my problem. I thought perhaps Facebook had decided I said something they didn't like and was blocking me. I did get a threatening notice from them once a while back. Someone got their feelings hurt and reported me. " I'm telling " is what I heard in my mind, must have been a liberal. But whatever the case was, Facebook wasn't working properly.
 Now someone I know had posted a meme about Facebook not working. I don't recall who or what it said exactly, it really doesn't matter. Anyway, I left a comment saying for me, I find it hard to complain about a service I get for free. It doesn't stop me from being annoyed and disappointed when it doesn't work but I remind myself, it is free. I was surprised by the number of comments I received in reply to that remark. Well, at least some were in response to my comment I think. It is sometimes hard to tell who the comment is directed at and that leads to confusion. I don't want to be one of those folks that think every comment made is made in response to them. In general if I am directing my comment toward you, your name will be included in that post. I hit reply under whatever you posted rather than a general comment. I think that is the way it was designed to work.
 I did read the comments and some people were genuinely upset that their Facebook didn't work! One person in particular was talking about " lives lost. " It was determined later on that perhaps this person had gotten their news mixed up. I'm still trying to figure out how Facebook could have caused the plane crashes. Other people informed me that Facebook wasn't free! The premise being they were collecting your information and selling it. So, in that way it was costing you! Another said they bought advertising on Facebook, so it wasn't free. In my thinking that would be paying for the advertisement, not the service, but whatever. I was amused by the apparent anger some displayed. Reminded me of a bunch of children after their parents turned off the television. I heard Instagram and one other thing was similarly affected. I don't use either one. I expect the reaction was pretty much the same.
 I wonder if those complaining realize that having Facebook is not a right. You have no constitutional right to Facebook. Facebook, being a free social platform has the ability to block you from posting, or indeed, from using their platform at all. The reason for that? It's free to use. In the terms of use they ask if you are 18, it states you must be 18 to have an account. How many have lied about that? Have many have read the terms and conditions at all? I can safely say, I have not! I'm thinking if I did I may have hesitated a bit more before agreeing to it.
 I'm not saying I wasn't annoyed that my Facebook wasn't working, I was. The thing is I was amused later on by the comments. Yeah I know I made the " wise guy " remark about it being free and how you really shouldn't complain. Yeah , I know nobody wants to hear that. But, thing is, someone has to say it. It is like trying to stabilize a rocking ship, someone has to move to the other side. Someone has to try to center things. I was trying to bring calm to the storm. I hope everyone weathered the storm alright and made it safely through. Fourteen hours without Facebook! I couldn't help but be reminded of the great East Coast blackout. That happened in 1965. It affected over 30 million people and lasted in some places for thirteen hours! Not quite as bad as losing Facebook though. Maybe that was simply because you can't miss what you never had. There was no Facebook in 1965 and we only got three channels on the television anyway. Complaining? You bet there was complaining. I was 12 at the time and thought it was pretty cool. We had to eat the ice cream before it melted. Maybe that is what folks should have done the other day. Eat some ice cream, relax. The blackout ended and we are posting away again. I survived! 

what I tell myself

 We reside in an ethereal world somewhere between the truth, and what we tell ourselves. That was the thought that occurred to me as I prepared to travel to my sister's celebration of life. An emotional time for certain and one that leaves me with questions. I think that is true for all of us as we age and begin to lose those we have known and loved through the years. We begin to say goodbye more than hello, and speak more of what was, than what is to be. Is that because of an uncertainty, the uncertainty of life itself.
 Our lives are channeled by chance and circumstance. We attempt to influence the outcome by our choices. That is what we tell ourselves, we can influence that outcome, that destination. Our beliefs hinge on what we tell ourselves, not on the opinion of others. We do not question death, death is a certainty, it is what happens afterward that we question. When we are young death seems distant, something that will happen, but not to us. As the years go by death grows nearer and we gain awareness. We realize life itself is an ethereal thing. Surely there is more to life than this world? The answer to that question is truth. What is the truth? It is, what we tell ourselves. As to belief, do you believe what you are saying? Is that your opinion? Or, are you just placing your faith, your trust in the words of others? When our faith is shaken, when we have those moments of doubt, that is when we are questioning ourselves.
 As I prepared to go to my sisters celebration of life I confess I didn't feel like celebrating. There is  sorrow associated with death, a finality, there is no taking it back. But yet there remains an uncertainty as well. I don't know the truth, only what I tell myself. The sorrow comes from that thought, what if I am wrong? What if this is all there is? I have applied all the logic and reasoning I am capable of to the question. I have read, listened and indeed, prayed for an answer. In the end I am left with what I tell myself.
 The most difficult person to convince of something should be yourself. In that way you won't be misled. The responsibilty and the blame must rest solely upon your shoulders. That is simply because that is where faith lives. Faith lives in the words you tell yourself. Do you believe? Are you certain?
  The wisest among us question everything, we know so little. Possibilities exist and should be examined, if not explored. But what possibilities exist after death? That is what we all wish we knew the answer to. That is the question I ask myself. The possibility of heaven and hell? Both possibilities require life, don't they? Life , that ethereal thing unexplained and certainly not understood. Are there other possibilities? What if life really does end in death? Then what? That's it, we had a shot. Is that it, we each get one shot at life. That doesn't seem fair does it? I mean what of that life being taken from us by chance or circumstance? A life taken before that life has a chance? Well, we all know that life isn't fair. No more so than today. Certainly my sister dying from cancer wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to her, at all. It wasn't fair to me either, or to her husband and family. It wasn't fair to anyone. So why did this happen? Beyond that I question what has happened to her? It is what I tell myself. That's the answer to that question. No matter what others may say, no matter the opinion, the truth is, it is what I tell myself. That's the best I can do, until the truth is revealed.
 And now you are wondering what it is I tell myself. The answer is unimportant really. What is important is what you are telling yourself. Mathematics, it has been proposed, can explain everything. Mathematics are a constant. If I never heard or saw your answer, the answer will be the same. One and one will equal two. Well, unless someone else convinces you otherwise that is. I have no desire to convince anyone of anything regarding life after death. There is only one way to " prove " the answer. And that is to die. Then, and only then will the truth be known to me. In the meantime it all rests upon what I tell myself.      
   

even if you ask

 The Maryland state legislature just passed a bill to allow medically assisted death. I call it assisted suicide. The debate rages on about that action, whether it is compassionate or immoral. The discussion centers around the precept we label " quality of life. " What is the quality of life and how do we measure it? For me it is a very simple thing, straightforward and without question, the quality of life is, ready for it, living. Yes, that's how I view it. Life is a very precious commodity, we receive it as a gift. To return that gift when it no longer suits us is something I find incomprehensible. I've heard all the arguments, all the reasoning behind this choice. And in that I am reminded that some have also decided the taking of life, even while still in the womb, is a choice. Personally I don't believe we are entitled to that choice, hence the commandment, thou shalt not kill. A religious commandment issued by a omnipotent god? No, I don't believe that at all. That is not the reason behind that. Monroe came the closet when he stated every man has the right to life! No one has the authority to take that.
 But the discussion is whether you can choose or not. Certainly you can choose suicide, but if that is an acceptable choice why do we have suicide prevention hotlines? Is suicide only an acceptable choice when others are in agreement with your choice? Is that a choice? I mean if you have to receive permission, is it a choice? No, then it is a considered decision. And in making that decision we need to enumerate the value, the quality of life. Is life only of value when we can do what we want to do? Is life only of value when life is comfortable? When we convince others that our life is no longer of value, or at the very least, of reduced value, terminating life becomes a choice?
 How shall we decide? Shall we judge by the cost? When the diagnosis is terminal why throw good money after bad? Is that the question here? Let's set that aside. Cost is no object, so what criteria do we apply now. The person is uncomfortable, experiencing a great deal of pain? We can certainly mask that can't we? Yes, without a doubt the patient can be made comfortable. So, now we are left with that elusive value, the quality of life. At what point do we, as a society, decide a person isn't worth being alive? Mass murderers, rapists and others who commit heinous crimes are kept alive, we don't terminate their lives. Why is that? What is the quality of their lives? Do they get a choice? But what  about those with a terminal illness. For me, I realize all our lives are terminal! Even when we can make a reasonable and educated guess about that fate, the fact is we still do not know the hour of our death. Does knowing an approximate time render our life worthless? Does it no  longer hold value? Is the quality of life no longer acceptable and be disposed?  
 I can't say I can empathize with someone when it comes to that. The best I can do is be sympathetic. I don't want to see anyone suffer. I would do what I could I could to help. I would hope that if this person knows me they wouldn't even ask. I could not assist in any way to bring about their demise. That is not an option, it is not a choice. My belief is those that will do that, do it for themselves. I believe they may get some sort of relief from that. Perhaps a feeling that they are helping, fulfilling a last wish or whatever. But, for me, I would forever carry guilt with me, no matter what other perception may exist. We use the expression I love you to death frequently. I will love you until your death, or mine,  but I won't bring about that death! Not even if you ask.
  

something shared

 I traveled to Florida to be witness to my sister's final rest. She passed away in December and Saturday past, her ashes were placed in the vault. Even though she has been gone for three months, the wound was opened anew. The family was gathered around, children, grandchildren and siblings. Few words were spoken, the reality being that none needed to be said. Standing in silence with our thougts an emotional wave crashed over us all. With the sealing of the vault it became a finality. My sister was no longer on this earth. And now I speak of her in the past tense. Still, alone in my thoughts and prayers I speak with her daily, I always will I expect. My eldest brother left us years ago and I speak with him, same as my Dad. Thing is, I have questions. They seldom answer those questions however, at least not directly.
 My sister and I spoke frequently in the last few years. We had grown closer. When we were children we spent hours with each other, playing games or whatever. We were quite close. Then life happened and we went our sperate ways. Marriages and children, busy with our individual interests. for years we rarely connected. Oh, there were occasional cards and letters, a telephone call but they were more cordial than personal. In our later years we began to share those secrets of life that we all have. Secrets about children, grandchildren, life lessons, regrets and triumphs. Secrets of the family discussed and analyzed. Together we sought some answers to those questions, together we laughed and shrugged our shoulders. And in thinking about all of that I wondered, are there secrets in heaven?
 My first instinct is to say no. Surely there are no secrets there. But what of secrets that cause harm to another? You know the type I mean? The secrets that would cause embarrassment or emotional injury, are those secrets exposed? The secret itself has no value, it is of no importance other than to satisfy a curiosity. They are nothing more than a question unanswered.
 A book was closed Saturday, the final chapter written. It's true the writing ended in December, but it somehow didn't seem final until the vault was sealed. I didn't say goodbye, just a " see you later. " I have no doubt we will reunite. Will we know the answers? That is what I will question my sister about until we meet again. But maybe, just maybe, there are secrets in heaven. Secrets kept for an eternity. Perhaps that is what love really is, secrets kept. Secrets aren't a bad thing, just something denied to you. They can also be something shared. We did share our secrets, my sister and I,  and not all will be told. Some will last an eternity. Love you Sis.    

being certain

 Tomorrow I will be heading to Florida for a few days. It isn't a vacation. There will be a celebration of life for my sister on Saturday. Naturally the wife and I will be there. I understand these celebrations are not supposed to be sad occasions, I get the idea, but I will be sad. It will be held at her home and her presence will be strong. My brother will be there as well. Mom isn't able travel.
 My brother in law is holding up well under these, the most difficult of circumstances. He has shown that inner strength that can only come from love. I know he loved my sister and took care of her. He is a good man. Her children and grandchildren will gather around. I will meet some of the grandchildren for the first time. I have been a fleeting character in my sister's married life. I would call on the phone every now and again. Rarely did we get to be with each other as we were both military families. When she was in Germany, I was in Virginia. We just never seemed to be in the same place at the same time. As a result her children have heard more stories about me than actually knowing me. That can be a tricky thing. My sister was a kind hearted soul and I'm sure she treated me well, but still, there are stories.
 In the last few years, and we had no idea that it would be the last few years, we grew closer. I took to calling her frequently. I visited her home when we went on a trip to Disney one year. On the cusp of our senior years we became close friends and confidants once again, It was just like when we were kids together except we talked about life, instead of dreams. I distinctly remember having a particularly serious discussion and afterwards thinking, just look at us having an adult discussion! It was quite a realization. We had grown up hadn't we? And now another realization strikes me, she is really gone. After the celebration, after the sharing of memories, her urn will be placed in the final resting place. In a way it is a closing of the door. Yes, of course she will always be with me, in my thoughts, in my heart and soul. But there is something about that final act that  casts a shadow.
 And so this is what is on my mind this morning as I make the final preparation for my drive south. Being a senior I do plan for such things. Gone are the days of just putting some gas in the car and heading out! No more cries of Road Trip! Have to get things organized, things done around the house. I'm haven't reached the age were Dr. appointments next month are a concern. It will be an emotional few days I'm certain of that. These are the times that test us. Are we as certain as we like to believe? And the truth is,  only we will know that answer. Some things are only shared between you and your God. That is as it should be. A test of faith? Certainly a time that gives us pause to reflect.

  "Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection into eternal life

remember?

 After writing yesterdays posting about my dog my thoughts did wander back to the days of my youth. The days of wax paper and a tin lunch box. I remember well my favorite lunch box, it was shaped like  barn with a hip roof. Painted the traditional red it came with a wide mouth thermos. And yes, that thermos was glass lined. I carried it for several years until I became too " old " for such things. I'm thinking that may have ended when the new elementary school opened. Located at 3 Gingerbread Lane in the village it was grades kindergarten through sixth at that time. I distinctly remember being there in 1963 when Kennedy was shot. It also had a large cafeteria. A carton of milk was 3 cents and you could buy an ice cream too. The main course was served on a tray, like a tv tray with separate compartments. I recall liking the welsh rarebit. But before all of that was wax paper in my lunch box. Peanut butter sandwiches was the usual fair along with a piece of fruit. There was no concern about peanut allegories back then, bring all you want. My thermos might have soup or chowder in it. Some days it had cool aid. Well, whatever was in there,  I enjoyed having it.
 Mom always used waxed paper, most everyone did. Tin foil was too expensive to use for that. Fact is aluminum foil was in common usage by the time I went to school but Mom still called it tin foil and thought of it as expensive stuff. You didn't go using that to just wrap a sandwich! You could also use waxed paper to lubricate the slide on the playground when that became necessary. That waxed paper worked well but did leave a smell behind. At least I believe that is what the smell is. Are you old enough to remember the smell of a tin lunch box? They do have a distinct odor about them. Is it the lunch box, the food that was carried in it, or the waxed paper? It would have to be the combination of all three is my thinking. Whatever the cause it is a pervasive smell, no amount of washing will erase it. Mom scrubbed the paint right off my barn and it stayed! There were no warning labels on that lunch box. Still I didn't eat the paint as it chipped off and if the thermos broke I didn't eat the glass either. I guess back in the day the manufacturer figured if you were in school you had enough sense not to do those things. I don't think kids even carry lunch boxes these days. If they do they have to go through a metal detector and mine would have definitely set that thing off! School would have been in lock down every day. Of course we didn't have lock downs, we just hid under the desk when a nuclear attack was imminent.
 That was in the good old days though. We weren't so concerned about sanitation, soap and water was good enough, no hand sanitizer. Our lunches weren't refrigerated just stored in the cloak closet until it was time. We shared or exchanged lunches with each other. No one was allergic to anything that we knew about. Well except for one girl that was allergic to shrimp! It wasn't posted on the walls and you could bring shrimp for lunch if you wanted to. At least that was the word on the playground. I remember one boy that would bring blood pudding for his desert. Can't recall his name right now but his family were farmers. I heard they made that blood pudding after they slaughtered the hogs. To each there own I suppose, I wanted none of it.
 I have seen on the show American pickers that people collect those lunch boxes and some are worth quite a bit of money. I even saw my barn on there. They didn't buy that one, but was interested in the KISS lunch box. It's another one of those things, who would have thought? Now if I had my Fathers lunch bucket that would be a collectable for sure. Dad always called his a lunch bucket or lunch pail. He had one of those black ones with the thermos in the lid. Every working man had one of those. I have one sitting on top of my kitchen cabinets as decoration. Mine had been carried by a man that worked for the railroad, wonder how many miles that box has seen.
 Now I wonder if we shouldn't bring those old lunch boxes and wax paper back. Seems to me the kids were a lot healthier years ago. Didn't seem to have many kids with ADHD or allergies. We didn't get forty five injections by the time we reached sixth grade either. At the beginning of the school year the doctor came to the school and examined each student. That seemed to be good enough, we all survived. Didn't need insurance for that, it was included in the school year. We ate whatever Mom packed or made our trades. No government intervention! No hand sanitizer, no face masks and no air conditioning either. Yes I had indoor plumbing. There was no confusion about which bathroom to use, it was obvious to us back then. It you weren't positive, look at your lunch box, they had ones for boys and one for girls. Just act accordingly. Life sure was simple back then.